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My advice column is for young teens. Being a colege student, for me its like, been there done that got the t-shirt. So, my goal is to help teens with the problems they face everyday in lifes long struggle.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Occupation: student
Member Since: July 30, 2006
Answers: 124
Last Update: October 23, 2008
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Well, if you read my other questions, you know me and my "bestfriend" both 'like' the same guy, although i don't think she ilkes him. .. but whatever.
So now she's being a complete witch(if you know what i mean) to me. And she doesn't think so. But i know so, everyone says she treats me bad, but she thinks opposite, that I treat her bad.
We've been bestfriends since second grade, and I don't want that to end. But i don't know if i can handle how rude and witchy* she's been to me. I tell her about it, but all she does is 'backfire' it, and say it back to me. HELP! What should i do ? :/ (link)
Yo.
I know what the situation is like. I agree with the answers below, you should give her some space. Maybe she's just upset about something and just doesn't want to have to do with anyone or anything. Give her some space, and in a few days, try talking to her again. When you give her space, and then try and talk about the issue, maybe she will realise that you are a good friend and you DO mean well.
Hope everything goes okay!!

-xox yoliv


so my friends mike and drew invited me over tonight to hang out with them and this one other guy, but i'd be the only girl there. i'm afraid it'll be really awkward. like i'm friends with these guys, but idk, should i go?

15/f (link)
Yo.
I think that you should go. Their your guy friends and I think that it's great your friends with them. Don't talk about things like cute guys or what you are planning on wearing the next day... guys don't usually like that. Just have fun and act the way that you would normally act around friends.

Hope I helped!!
:]
-Yoliv


my best friend doesnt like who im friends with and everytiime i mention them, she goes nuts
but theyre my friends and i want to tell her about them and all the funny stuff that happens but she gets all jelous and whatnot (link)
Yo.
WELL... you definatly can't control how she feels about your friends, and you can't help it that she is jealous. BUT- you can talk to her and tell her all the fun times you've had. Tell her that you are really good friends with these other people and are great friends with her too, but you don't want her to be jealous. Sit her down and tell her this. If she's still jealos, tell her you're sorry and stuff. Maybe you shouldn't talk about your other friends around her as much. I'm not saying don't tell her what funny thing your friend said or whatever, just dont talk about it as much. Appologize. it usually works. :]

Hope I helped!! :]
-Yoliv


does anyone know where to get good best frined quotes or know any good ones?? (link)
I know one site: www.iconator.com (go to away messages and there are some away friends ones.)
Here are a few \/

"Friends write to you in jail.
Good Friends visit you in jail.
BEST friends will be the ones in the cell next to you saying:
MAN THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"Friends will give you 1/2 their cookie.
Good friends will give their cookie.
BEST friends will tell you to go get your own"

"Friends will give you their unbrella in the rain
BEST friends will take YOUR unbrella and are running down the street yelling, "Run dork run!!" but if you get tooo close, they'll poke you in the eye with it."

"Friends help you when you fall.
BEST friends will be the ones laughing their heads off because THEIR the ones that tripped you in the first place."

"Friends wipe your tears when you get rejected by a crush.
BEST friends will go up to him and say: "It's cuz your gay isnt it?""

"You don't go through high school to find your husband... you go to find your bridesmaids."

"My type of best friends run not only into parked cars... but parked buses too."

Hope I helped!! :]

-YoLiV


ok, so there was this girl that went to my school who had cancer for the part 3 years. She was the nicest person i have ever met in my life, and always had something nice to say. She was fun and so much fun to be around. Recently (1-14-08)after going into remission 3 times, she passed away. I'm not saying that i was like best friends with this girl, because i wasn't, but i did know her. We sat together in Chemistry and always talked, and were even going to be lab partners before her cancer came back. I'm having a really hard time dealing with this loss. I just can't handle that this great person is gone and i'm never going to see her again. I cry really easily and everytime someone really bring up her death in school, or there is an announcement made about her, or they show a powerpoint on her life, i start to cry. I went to her viewing today, and just completely broke down. it was just hard to see this person who was so full of life and fun just lying there dead.
I was really just wondering if anyone could give me some advice to help me cope with this loss or anything like that. Thanks (link)
SOO SOO SOOO SOOO SOOO SOOOO (times a billion and a half :])Sorryyy

my advice would be try and get people (including yourself) to be a lot nicer. Smile and say hi to kids in the halls. It might also help you think about how much you appreciate life. I know that this might not really help if you aren't religious or anything but, sometimes praying makes people feel better. I'm not really religous or anything but when I get scared or sad sometimes I pray and it makes me feel better. It's not like you have to be at a church but like before you go to sleep, while your laying down. You can say a prayer in your head and stuff. Maybe talk to your principal about starting a fundraiser to find a cure for cancer. Idkk maybe it would help. I'm kinda new to this sooo...

Again- SO SO SO SO (times another billion and 3/4)
SORRYYY


Well, me and a couple friends are planning a halloween party. We've got music, decorations, and food down, but I was just wondering what we should do there to keep the party going. We're all aged 15 by the way.
Thanks. (link)
Yo!!!
Go trick-or-treating! Even though you are 15, its still fun! I mean who doesn't like free candy?!
If you dont want to do that, games like spin the bottle. You could put in a halloween mix on pin- the-tail-on-the-donkey... make it like pin-the-mask-on-the-kid or something. Watching a scary movie like, The Hills Have Eyes, Freddie (i cant spell names haha sorry) vs. Jason, The Village, The sixth Sence are all pretty creepy. Other things like eating a lot of candy and junk food and dancing to old Haloween songs like "The Monster Mash" are pretty cool. Doing stuff like sitting and talking is all ok too. You could have some people (or everyone at the party) spend the night and stay up telling scary stories and watching movies, eating candy and all that stuff. Really all you have to do to keep the party going is just have fun. Get people dancing and talking. DONT USE A SCHEDULE! Most people think that schedules just ruin the fun. Just let everyone do what they want (well not entirely what they want) and live it up!!!
Hope I helped! Have Fun!!!!!
-YOLIV


My best friend has been really upset lately, and every time i ask what is wrong, she says nothing. but im not stupid, i know when something is wrong. should i just leave her alone, or should i keep asking her what is wrong? i know she wants me to know, she just wont tell me. i know this because she will half bring up that she is upset and then drop it. im pretty sure i know what it is, and i want to help her, but she wont let me. idk, what do u think? thanks, (link)
Yo.
It will be annoying but you really should keep on asking. She will eventually get annoyed and tell you. If that doesnt work... get more of her friends to talk to her about it. If THIS doesnt work maybe talk to your school guidance councler or her/your mom. (Moms usually know what to do) If THIS doesnt work then I got nothing but i dont think that it will really go that far ;)
Just keep on asking and you should be able to get it out of her. :)
Hope I helped!!:):)
-YOLIV :)


Well, I've been best friends with this girl Stacy for 2 years. We do pretty much everything together and I'm always going over her house and stuff. But lately, it feels like we're always competing, at least I feel that way. Whenever we go somewhere together I'm always trying to look better than her. And she just got a ton of new clothes for school from like hollister and abercrombie and I didn't get as much as her. I get really jealous, and I don't know why. We've always been best friends, but why do I feel this way? (link)
YO.
Its normal for best friends to be jealous of each other. Just don't think about how "better" you think she is. Talk to your parents about how you feel and maybe they can help you. Just because she has more clothes then you DOES NOT mean that she is better. Talk to HER and tell her how you feel. Say something like, "I know that we have been BFF for 2 years, but sometimes I feel as though we are in a compitition." I'm sure that she will understand.
Hope that I could Help,
YOLIV 8-)


My friend and I want to hang out a lot but the more we go out the less money is in our wallets. So many activities cost money nowadyays. Does anyone have any good ideas for cheap fun hangout ideas??? (link)
Yo.
I've seen some answers and agree 100%.
Hanging out doesnt mean spending money, I mean yeah going to a movie is fun and it costs money, but why not hang out out in your yard, or watch a movie thats played on TV. If you have Time Warner Cable then you could order a movie and it shows up on your cable bill. (and if your parents ask you to pay it, its only like $2.50 per movie or something like that) Talking is what me and my friends do whenever we hang out. We can go a couple hours just talking about school, who we like, etc. If your parents say its ok, have her spend the night. You could stay up all night playing card/board games. You could make popcorn. {i prefer kettle corn ;)} You could play outside, it may be little kid-ish but theres plenty of stuff to do. Basketball, four square, soccer, fun sport activities, trying gymnastics in the yard is fun, (but be careful) if you have a dog that will stay with you, you could play with them in the yard, walk your dog (me and my friends do that and talk the entire time, its better on walks cuz if anyone is home with you they wont hear you:)) play with pets, inside and out. Theres plenty of fun things to do out of town too. Target. Whenever me and my family/friends go there, we head right for the shoe section. Then we have an "Ugly Shoe Contest". Whoever finds the ugliest shoe wins. (You can really only do this at a Target because they carry REALLY ugly shoes) Thats all I got. Good Luck!!!!
Hope I helped! Have Fun!
~~YOLIV~~


okay, so me and my best friend, we'll call her serena, we've been best friends since 2nd grade (we're in 10th now) but we know everything about each other and we are always there for each other. well she has a boyfriend but she still flirts with like all the guys at school and they of course flirt back. and so when im walking with her and someone comes up im just like stuck walking behind them. and im sick of it. when we are by ourselves everything is great but not at school. i feel like such a dork just tagging along. and i have other friends but they all like love serena and it seems like they would rather be around her. i really hate it but i feel like im just never going to be as good as her. how can i become more outgoing? or what can i do? but dont tell me to talk to her about it because that is not an option. its something i have to do alone. but please help!

15/f (link)
Yo.
To be more outgoing/noticed, join clubs in your school and meet new people. Start more convorsations with them.

For the flirting problem, you might need a little help. Maybe you should talk to other friends about it. Or go alone, whichever you feel better with.

More on the outgoing thing. Start convo's with the people that Serena hangs out with. So what if they are guys??? Hopefully you can talk to serena about the flitrting thing and become outgoing all alone :)

Hope I helped! 8-)
~~YOLIV~~


So hi! I am having a sleepover with my best friend when she gets back from vacation and I need some really good ideas to take her mind off of things. I've got a pool so we can swim and of course we'll watch movies, but, thats all I can think of. She has been through alot with some other friends and she complains that her summer sucks. I wish I could take her on a trip with my family but we can't afford it. So, anyone have any ideas of things we could do together to maybe cheer her up a bit?

I don't know if it means anything but we're both 16/F and she has her license already. But don't be so quick to suggest we drive somewhere because my mom may not be up for that. But feel free to list anything you think of, even if it involves driving.

Thanks Alot! (link)
Yo.
Here are a couple things that you guys could always do.
~ Spa night- buy face masks and do nails and stuff
~ Make your own food- pizzas, cookies, brownies
~ Stay up late and watch stupid shows- watch old TV shows all night and eat a lot of popcorn and junk food
~ Go to a near by amusment park for a day
Hope I helped!!!
-YOLIV


13/f
im a pretty friendly person i guess... i like talking to people and i always try to be really nice to everyone. so i talk to a lot of different people on myspace, AIM and texting. but when i start talking to guys and get to know them, sometimes they end up thinking that i like them. and then they start liking me. its not like im being flirty or anything, i just talk about normal stuff. so im not leading them on or anything. but i feel really guilty, cuz i just like them as friends (and btw i do have a bf). sometimes i think, maybe i shouldnt talk to guys at all, cuz it will only make them think i like them. is it possible to talk with guys and just be friends? or do they always end up wanting it to be more? (link)
Yo.
Ot's easy for people of the same gender to be friends, girls friends with girls, blah blah blah.
Of course you should keep talking to them. You aren't being flirty at all. You aqre just being the friendly person that you are. I talk to a lot of guys and we are pretty good friends. We talk to each other in school and on IM and no one thinks that we are being flirty. If people think that, then tell them that you are just friends and nothing more. Obviously, your boyfriend doesnt seem to mind. If he starts to have a problem with it, then you should talk to him and tell him that you only want to be friends with these guys and nothing more, just friends. Keep on talking to the guys, as they say, you can never have too many friends, no matter what gender. You should keep being friendly to people and keep giving out kindness :) :) :) :)
-YOLIV :) :) :)


ok my guy friend logan today told me that i am attractive to him. it really shocked me and i think it is going to get in the way of our relationship because it is going to be kinda okward around him. what do i do??


Thanks!!!


Shelby (link)
Yo.
He might just think that your pretty and have no interet in going out. Sometimes they may say that and have interest in dating you~ but most of the time they don't let anyone know. Just let it go. Be freem :)
-Yoliv


I used to be friends with everybody. & Everyone. No one hated me nothing. But then I had this party really big one, where people couldnt get in, and I hooked up with a guy. There were tons of people there 227 to be exact. Then all of a sudden after that no one has wanted to talk to me. I dont know what to do? I went from having to say sorry I've made plans already to...Hey do you wanan hang out? & I know that sounds conceited and bad. But I dont know what happenned. & I'm not very happy about it, I've gone into a deep depression and everyday I think about killing myself. (link)
Yo.
You should definatly not kill yourself. And the whole, ask people to hang out thing is not bad at all. That, I think, is the right way to go. Just keep strong. Try talking to your parents or friends. Or even a guidence counsler (if your in school) or theropist if you arent.
Hope I helped!
-YOLIV:)


i am 14/f

this question is about someone i know, he is either 14 or 15, i'm not sure. i'll call him bob for now.

well -- during school, hes a good student. he kisses up to some teachers, you know, the teachers pet. he gets good grades and everything. he's a pretty nice person.

after school, he hangs out with one of MY friends, who is a normal person, meaning he has no influence on bob. bob gets abusive at times, fighting with my friend and my friend's brother, physically. bob even yells at my friends dogs.

he thinks he's all that.

my friend said he saw tons of nasal sprays, cough medicines, etc, on bob's night stand (he wasn't sick and it was random medicines) but he also saw some chewable tablets in bob's brother's room so i'm not sure if its a big deal.

bob hates almost everyone and almost everyone hates bob.

my friend sent me a conversation him and bob had on aim.my friend wasn't answering bob on aim so bob said "you're talking to (my name), aren't you?" bob told my friend that he hates me and my best friend, we're witches, we're going down in hell, etc. and he told MY FRIEND that hes going down WITH US. he said "get out while you can".

my friend has considered not being friends with bob. if he does this, bob's mom knows almost everyone else's parents, and whenever something happens, bob's mom tells everyone and everyone finds out about it. once, when my friend told bob he was tutoring, bob told his mom, and everyone started saying: "OMG, ARE YOU TUTORING FOR $50 AN HOUR???"

my questions are:

1. are his actions normal, or does he has a serious problem? (bipolar, etc.)

2. my friend has asked me if he should continue being friends with bob. what should i tell him?



(link)
Yo.
Bob obviously needs help. He probably is bipolar and needs help. As for the friend thing, I would talk to your friend about getting Bob help. And, if Bob's help works, then i would say you could tell your friend that you can be friends with bob.
Hope I could help!
~YOLIV~


Okey well all my friends are all most the sam,
well when it comes two this.

okey so thay ask me if i can do something & if i cant ill tell them and say where on the phone & the`ll be like OH well i gotta go or just stop talking. or be like can i call you back later & never call me backk

im a a suckkyyy friend? (link)
Yo.
HECK NO YOU ARENT! But if you said you ould call back then well i guess that is kinda rude but i mean if they say they will call you then i mean they should call. Whatevere your doing i guess if its realy important you could explain it to them later but if its like, going online or MySpace or something then i guess that would be rude, but i mean no you arent unless you are doing something totally ignorent like, playing on the computer and then you "forget" and then they get mad. I would say no unless you like NEVER call back
-yoliv


my bff just recenly introduced me to her crush and ugh..i think i'm starting to crush on him too. hes like everything i've been looking for and i have no clue what to do. but right now i'm just keeping my emotions to myself and letting her have her crush with him. but i did tell her to ask him who he liked or flirt more or something to hint to him more to get something going between them. but any suggestions on what to do about the situation. should i tell her? should i just wait it all out and see what happens between them? and oh yeah tonight her and i hung out with him and a few other guys andi talked to him more than she did. you can't even tell she likes him except a few times she'll do somethings and he'll do little things too but i don't think theres anything. just please give me some suggestions on what to do because i have no clue and i don't wann lose a bff. (link)
Dear Person,
I think you really should explain your feelings to your BFF. If you guys are really tight then i think she would understand. The whole, "theres like nothing between them" thing (not trying to insult you) i dont think is a right way to describe it. Maybe they really like each other and love hanging out together. I would say admit your feelings to your friends.
-YOLIV:)


15/f (16 this year)

As you may have seen, just today I asked a question on being bullied by older girls. I was punched in the back of the head today but didn't fight back. I don't want to fight, I knew I would lose or get ganged up on.

Before this, I had a perfect life, but I wanted to be a good person. Just a little fear of bad karma from the "usual" backstabbing, etc. Today, everything went wrong.

My "best friends" excluded me from everything. The last time they did this is lasted for months, they are not good friends and I want to get away from them.

There was this guy who I hadn't seen for months but we always talked on the phone. We hung out over the weekend and that went badly and I don't like him anymore.

I also used to like a couple of guys. It turned out they just wanted sex and I deserve better than that. But I thought they were still okay friends, but they started saying really mean stuff over the computer to me. They said I have a hot body but ugly face, etc. They are jerks and I have no reason to waste my time on them.

Today, I've been called every bad name in the book. I think this has all happened for the better. I want to end these bad relationships. I don't want to get physically hurt (which I'm worried about right now) but I know a little emotional pain will make me stronger.

In the past, my "best friends" of ten years all of a sudden went against me and tried to "make my life a living hell." I left them all.

The thing is, I don't know how to end these situations. I want to just be a good person, not fight back and re-establish myself without having a completely ruined reputation.

I don't know how to avoid being beaten up by the grade eleven girls. My school isn't that big, and I know everyone in my grade. I don't have any options for new friends.

I have three best friends (from different groups, they hardly know eachother) and I know they could help me emotionally.

Just.. what do I do? I'm an optimist and I am confident that if I make it through this without being beaten up or raped I will be a better person.

Thanks, help is greatly appreciated! =) (link)
Dear Miss Optomist,
I think that its great you dont try to solve your problems with physical violence. :) To solve that retarded boy thing, ignore it. If you have IM when you were talking to them over the computer, then block them. If you have a MySpace and they talk to you, delete them from your friend list. As for the back stabbing friends, then i would say if they were really your friends, then they would help you in your time of need, so if they wanna be stuck up snobs then they can but it looks to me that they are missing out on being great friends with a good person. Now to what seems to be the biggest problem, the bullying. Try talking to your parents or a trusted teacher. School guidence coulnslers work as well. Or, you could always try theropy. Those 3 friends that you know will be there for you, you should try and hang out with as much as possible. If that is not an option, try making new friends by joining clubs in your school or in your town.
Hope I could help! Good Luck!:)
-YOLIV:)


A while ago, one of my best guy friends told me something in total confidence, and told me not to tell anyone about it. But then at a sleepover, my friends asked if anyone had any secrets that they wanted to just get out in the open. I said I did, so I told them what my guy friend said. Now, I feel like the worst person alive...they swore that they'd never tell anyone, but what if it accidentilly slips out?? I'm scared that no one will ever trust me again. What can I do? (link)
Yo.
I think that the girls you told will trust you more after you told them the secret. They most likely wont tell anyone about your guy friend thing. As for that guy friend of yours, you might want to tell him abut what happened and tell himn you are aorry and stuff like that.
Hope I helped!
-YOLIV


i have some friends, but like they kind of ignore me. what can i do to be noticed? this sounds like a stupid question, but please answer! (link)
Yo.
Throw some sort of partay or like set up a day at a spa or the mall. Call them and see if they wanna go see a movie. (Pool partys are wicked fun:) )
Hope I helped.
-YOLIV




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