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2 different personalities...completely different
i am 14/f
this question is about someone i know, he is either 14 or 15, i'm not sure. i'll call him bob for now.
well -- during school, hes a good student. he kisses up to some teachers, you know, the teachers pet. he gets good grades and everything. he's a pretty nice person.
after school, he hangs out with one of MY friends, who is a normal person, meaning he has no influence on bob. bob gets abusive at times, fighting with my friend and my friend's brother, physically. bob even yells at my friends dogs.
he thinks he's all that.
my friend said he saw tons of nasal sprays, cough medicines, etc, on bob's night stand (he wasn't sick and it was random medicines) but he also saw some chewable tablets in bob's brother's room so i'm not sure if its a big deal.
bob hates almost everyone and almost everyone hates bob.
my friend sent me a conversation him and bob had on aim.my friend wasn't answering bob on aim so bob said "you're talking to (my name), aren't you?" bob told my friend that he hates me and my best friend, we're witches, we're going down in hell, etc. and he told MY FRIEND that hes going down WITH US. he said "get out while you can".
my friend has considered not being friends with bob. if he does this, bob's mom knows almost everyone else's parents, and whenever something happens, bob's mom tells everyone and everyone finds out about it. once, when my friend told bob he was tutoring, bob told his mom, and everyone started saying: "OMG, ARE YOU TUTORING FOR $50 AN HOUR???"
my questions are:
1. are his actions normal, or does he has a serious problem? (bipolar, etc.)
2. my friend has asked me if he should continue being friends with bob. what should i tell him?
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I disagree with the bipolar diagnosis. Most bipolar people have up times of hyperactivity where they're distractible, unable to sleep, impulsive, etc., and down times where they're depressed in mood and activity level. They are not 'split personality people.' That's a common misunderstanding. Dissociative Disorder is more what people think of as split personality, but a dissociative person usually has basically compartmentalized personalities, where both personalities do not answer to the same name, etc. But I don't think Bob has this.
What I think he likely has is a personality disorder, likely Borderline Personality Disorder or possibly antisocial. However, Bob may be just an ass. His mother is likely not helping by trying to be his social director and interfering with his relationships. No, it's not normal to have an explosive temper and start physical fights with one's friends.
However, no matter what Bob says about you or your best friend, why does your male friend put up with Bob? What difference would it make if Bob's Mom said something about your friend not being Bob's friend anymore. It sounds as if most people who might hear about it might simply roll their eyes and say 'I can't believe you lasted this long. Bob is a jerk.' Your friend should not be afraid to stand up for himself and let others know that he's not interested in being Bob's friend. A friendship is not a contract and can be cancelled at any time by either participant for any reason. He doesn't owe Bob friendship, particularly when Bob is being abusive.
You and your friends should simply stay away from Bob to the extent that you can.
Sabine
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Yo.
Bob obviously needs help. He probably is bipolar and needs help. As for the friend thing, I would talk to your friend about getting Bob help. And, if Bob's help works, then i would say you could tell your friend that you can be friends with bob.
Hope I could help!
~YOLIV~
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