I'm Em.
I'm a 20 year old English/History student living in Sydney.
I dig art, music and books.
I'll take questions on relationships, friendships, high school, uni, or whatever else.
I try to give the best advice I can, usually drawing on my own personal experience. But I'm not perfect, and sometimes when I look back on some of my advice it's far from it (especially when I was 15 and writing LiKe THiS). It's just advice, though. It's not an answer or a solution, it's simply a potentially helpful perspective. And that's all I can offer you.
Photo:
Yayoi Kusama
"Infinity Mirror Room"
Performance art.
Mirrors, soft sculptures.
Castellane Gallery, New York.
1965.
Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Member Since: January 11, 2007
Answers: 391
Last Update: May 22, 2014
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Me and my bestfriend have been fighting more recently and I feel that the friendship isn't even worth keeping. For example I went to the pool with her and took a wine cooler with me, and there was only one more left and I was planning on drinking it the next day, I told her she couldn't have it and she didn't make a big deal out of it at all, but when we had both parted ways after we left the pool she goes and tells her mother that I'm a rude and stingy person because I don't ask her if she wants a drink at the pool, as you can understand I had bought them for myself. Also she always makes me out to be a bad friend when we argue, like she is ungodly and has never done anything that I would consider 'rude' myself, and I have done literally everything for this girl, took her to Chicago and Flordia and didn't even have to pay for half of her trips . But yet she still feels I owe her something because I have 100 dollars in my wallet, to pretty much sum it up , do you feel this friendship is worth keeping ? Because I think having someone constantly get mad at you for little things just makes life stressful (link)
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When you're in a close friendship it's a bit like being in a relationship because you're around each other a lot, you give and take from one another, and you also accept each other's good qualities and flaws. There has to be a balance and equality for it to work, and from the sounds of it it's like she's take take take and not giving anything in return.
I have a few close girlfriends that I see often. My best friend and I have similar personalities but different interests so we get along pretty well and see each other often, though as with anyone we sometimes get a bit sick of each other and need a break. The great thing about our friendship is that everything is equal. We play-fight who will pay for a meal and the other always ends up paying for a meal or event another time. Everything is split right down the middle. The thing is, we both work a lot so we have a lot of money to spend. Maybe your friend doesn't have a lot of money or earns less than you, so she might feel like you should pay more than her because of it. If this is the case, it's still a no. It means she should say she can't do a lot of things or organising events that are a little bit cheaper. Yes it's nice sometimes to do something special for your friends or buy them random gifts, but if it's going unappreciated then it isn't worth it.
I have other girl friends that sound more like your friend. When we go out to dinner, I'll end up paying $50 while they pay $20 each and never offer to pay more. Money is an uncomfortable thing to talk about, so now I just don't see them very much. When I do go out with them it's a rare occasion and I try to go to cheaper places so that I'm not spending more than I should.
I think, even though it's uncomfortable, that you should talk about it with her if it's really bothering you. When you do things, make sure that it's equal - that means making sure she pays half for everything. If you're drinking, tell her and let her know that she should bring some drinks too. If she doesn't or says something like "yeah sure I'll pay you back" don't accept it. Say, "that's okay, we'll wait until we can pay the costs together." Friends don't always pay you back when they say you will.
I don't really like when people ask me if a friendship is worth it or along the lines of 'should i keep this person in my life' because the thing is, you care about this person. She IS a part of your life and will probably still be even if you decide you don't want to be around her anymore. I think if it's stressing you out and you believe that it's unfair, then don't spend as much time with her. Do what makes you happy and spend time with people that you love being around. Try talking to her and if she doesn't understand, then that's her problem. Maybe she'll come to her senses if you leave her alone for a while and just enjoy your life.
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We were playing Bowl of Questions and it got really deep and secrect and she trusted me with all these secrects..and later on I spilled one secrect to my brother..he told a few people..and now everyone knows..I tried apologizing she just said "that doesn't change anything" what should i do? (link)
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People make mistakes and people also forgive. It takes time and effort, but they do. She's hurt and probably really embarrassed which takes some time to get over. The best thing you can do is apologise, say that you understand what you did and how wrong it was, then try and give her a little space. Don't avoid or ignore her, just don't annoy her by constantly saying how sorry you are because that'll just make her angrier.
I've had fall outs with my closest friends before and regardless of what happened, I cared about them too much to let them go forever. In some cases it took a lot of time to feel like I could trust them again, and for some I don't have the same relationship with them as I did before. I used to be so close to one girl and now, even though we are still close, there's something different between us which isn't as great as it was before. This might be the consequence of your actions.
At least you can take something from this experience. Trust is something that takes time to build up and can be destroyed in minutes. It's better to stop an urge to tell someone something if it means keeping someones trust in you. Maybe next time just think before you speak. And also just think about how you would feel if you were in her position, and think about what you would want her to do for you to make up for that. That might give you ideas on what to say to her.
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How to get some one back in your life that used to mean so much to you? (link)
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What about talking? Nothing else is gonna work. Make the first move and start a conversation. Ask questions, offer to go out somewhere, for coffee or a movie or lunch or whatever.
You're not going to magically form the connection you once had in a day, it'll take some time, but keep at it. If it doesn't happen, then it's not meant to be.
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Hi im 13/f. And I have a major dilemma! You see my BFF is dating my BGF, which is great I guess you could say because she had a huge crush on him and he finally decided to ask her out. Well, now the problem is all she ever talks about is him. & our other 2 bffs(were a group of 4 bffs) are really annoyed with it too. Were fine with her talking about him and everything but almost every single sentence has his name in it!! It's so annoying!! And all of us have been excluded from her and he tried to group us together totalk to each other but we couldn't do it because she would run off to him. We don't do any of the things we usually di in our usual routine. After lunch we would watch guys jump off swings & laugh but she refuses to do that now and she wants to go hang out with her bf. But at lunch she was emavaressed to look at him. She completely ditched us! And at lunch she was support to Dave me a spot but then her bf comes up and takes my spot and she knew it was for me but she gave it to him instead. & she doesn't even care. She even told me she gave it to him instead. She hardly talks to me now. & even when her bf & my BGF tries to make us talk to each other she just runs off with him. She doesn't realize that it's BFFs before bf. & he tried to tell her that too! & all of us in our group is so sick of the exclusion, & I don't wanna say brattybess but I have to, and not talking to us anymore. & we told her the realationship was gunna fall apart but she doesn't believe us. So we need your help please because were at our very edge of this and her!!!!! (my BGF & her bf has actually tried to help but she won't listen!) we really need your help please!!!!! (link)
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I think you should just forget about it. She's just really excited about having a boyfriend and she isn't acting like a real friend, but these are things she needs to learn. In time when her boyfriend does break up with her or she realises how far away she's grown from her friends, she'll learn to balance both her relationships and her friends. It's hard to know how important it is to stay close to your friends when you're younger, but in a few years she'll understand.
Don't tell her they'll break up, and don't talk about her behind her back. She's happy and this is what she's chosen, so leave her to it. I would say try again to talk to her and tell her that she's upsetting you, but otherwise just let her be. Enjoy your time with your other friends and use this experience as a reminder for when you're in a relationship to not avoid your friends the way she has.
I hope she realises she's slowly losing some great friends, but until then focus on yourself, your school work, your family and your other friends. She's not worth the exhaustion.
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Well I just wanted to say thanks, everything you said is extremely helpful and I think some time apart is exactly what she and I need.
I took the initiative on this and even selected different courses at a different campus this year just for a tiny break, its pretty much all I can do at the moment because me and my best friend sort of live across from each other.
Also, we happen to work at the same place. (see what I mean by we're all each other has?)
So being apart is kind of difficult but I honestly thing is the best at the moment. Thanks again! (link)
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You're welcome!
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So I talked to my best friend to work things out (i hope you remember me? I asked about cutting her off or not) and well I made sure to let her know how uncomfortable it makes me feel that she keeps in contact with him still.
She of course says that she does not care for him and the only reason she still talks to him is to "hear what he has to say about the whole thing".
I tried my best to let her know this guy's game, because obviously to him this is just a game. I told her all the things he would say not only about her but how he felt towards me, just to show her that he's just a player. I thought she had seen it, but not she's still lying to me about hanging out with him and I honestly don't know what to do...I feel as if she doesn't care about our friendship and I'm trying my best not to lose her, but how can I trust a person that only feeds me lies? I honestly don't know what to do to make things better anymore. No we're fighting all the time, and I even called her a hypocrite because when this guy and I would talk (even after everything happened, before I took notice of his game) she would cry to me and tell me that she felt like I was choosing him over her and that as long as he was around our friendship wasn't going to get better, basically making me chose between him or her. I obviously decided to let him go...hence why he went after her. And there she is being a hypocrite and hanging out with him after everything she said. This I did tell her and she has nothing to say back. So you tell me, I am desperate for advice. What should I do? (link)
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I guess if she's not willing to compromise or listen to her best friend, you just have to do what's best for you.
She can't let go of this guy, and if she can't do that for you then what's the point in putting all this effort into her? I know I said there's not a lot worth ruining a friendship over, but when you do everything you can to make it work and the other side isn't doing the same, it's just not fair.
I'm not saying ruin the friendship, just let her do her own thing and spend more time doing your own thing. This doesn't really mean cutting her out, but maybe just stop talking so much to her or being around her a lot. Focus more on your life, and just having fun. I think you said in the last one you were all you both kind of had, but you could use this time to make some friends. I think having different groups of friends is great, because you're socialising and it makes you a more confident person, but also because it's nice to be able to do different things with other people that you might not be able to do with your best friend.
I have a feeling it's probably going to pan out like this. She likes him, she'll want to be with him, you guys will stop talking, he'll use her and leave her, she'll be upset and come back to you.
I think for now tell her that you can't deal with the lack of trust, and just leave it at that. Spend a few weeks away from each other. And things change over time, so just see what happens.
If she does get hurt and comes back to you, you can choose your own way of accepting her back or not. I think that it would be nice though for you to understand that she liked this guy and just couldn't see that he was a player, even though it might be really obvious that he is.
You may not always be best friends, but remember that you can always just be friends. People that see each other occasionally and hang out here and there.
I can't really tell you what to do or not to do, at this point it's up to what you think is best for you.
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This question relates to the question you answered for me about Green Day. I'm working on getting a job so I can go to a concert, but until then I've decided to send them some fanmail. Do you know the best address to send it to? And what should I say in the letter?? (link)
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I looked it up and this is what I found:
Green Day
Adeline Records, Llc.
543 Encinitas Blvd.
Suite 101
Encinitas, CA 92024
USA
Green Day
c/o Warner Bros. Records Inc.
P.O. Box 6868
Burbank, CA 91510
USA
idiotclub@aol.com.
So, there are two addresses. The first one I got from this site: http://www.fanmail.biz/51268.html
And the second one I got from multiple sites, so I would say use the second one (the green day c/o warner bros one). But you're welcome to send mail to both.
They also have an email address I looked up called idiotclub@aol.com as on their website they have a thing called 'idiot club', but I'm not sure if they still use this email or not.
Just be honest. You don't have to tell them too much if you don't want to, even just something like "when I was younger, your music really helped me through some tough times and I really appreciate it". Speak from the heart! Ask them some questions if you like about what they're up to or whatever you want to know. And on that fanmail website there is some information on what to do if you want something autographed.
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Ever since I can remember I've loved Green Day. They gave me soo much inspiration. My dad abused me a lot and when I was 8 we got in a huge car wreck and that's when I moved away fro my dad. So I didn't have much of a dad influence and as crazy and stupid as this sounds Green Day and the inspiration it gave me kind of became my father figure. The more I learned about them the more I just wanted to meet them. They mean so much to me I even learned to playh guitar and fell in love with music. My biggest dream is to meet them and (once again I know crazy) be friends with them somehow. I realize tons of ppl want the same thing and I'm not saying I'm more worthy of it but its so important to me. I don't have money to get tickets to a concert to meet them. And I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any ideas? (link)
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I don't want to bring you down, but it's pretty difficult to meet bands without going to their concerts. I think something that would mean just as much to you would be contact with them.
Try and find some contact information on their website. Usually it will have an email address or something like that. If you can't find a direct email, why not try their twitter? Just tell them what they did for you, and that you're grateful. It's really wonderful to tell someone that they've made an impact on your life, and made you the person you are today.
To get tickets, maybe ask some family members? Or see if there are any competitions on radio stations or on music websites. I won tickets to a concert on a music channels website, and I know a lot of people that have won them from radio shows.
I hope you do get the chance to meet them one day, but if you don't, don't be upset. I think it's just wonderful that they inspired you so much, and you should just be happy that they were able to do that for you.
And if you are able to get into contact with them, the feeling you get when they reply to your email or message is amazing. When I was 16 I emailed my favourite author telling her that I loved her books, and was completely shocked when she emailed me back. I was so excited and it meant so much to me to know that she read what I had to say and spent the time replying to me. Whether or not you meet them, just having them reply to you means the world.
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Okay so, my best friend and I have been close ever since 5th grade. We're now in our sophomore year in college so that would be about 9 years of friendship.
A while back in 10th grade, she decided to hook up with one of my ex boyfriends. I admit that it bothered me for a bit but he and I weren't that serious so i decided to let it slide. And the three of us became really close.
Now, about a few months ago I started talking to this guy who she HATED and was all wrong for me because he was currently in a relationship. He ended up leaving his girlfriend. And recently I found out that my best friend was hooking up with him while he and I were still talking.
We've been in a lot of fights since this, the thing is that we are pretty much all that each other has so its really difficult to let go...I'm guessing.
We both stopped talking to this guy and continued our friendship. But about a week ago she started hanging out with him again, she was being honest at first but now she's lying about hanging out with him again.
I really don't know what to do, there obviously isn't any trust between us when all she does is lie. Should I just completely cut this person from my life? Or not? Help. (link)
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You can be best friends with someone, and in a day you can have the worst fight that tears you apart. A few months ago, one of my best friends had been acting pretty rude to me and had done a lot of things that upset me. One night, we had a massive argument that lasted for about 3 hours. We stopped talking for 4 months or so and I thought we'd never be friends again.
I was in my second year of college, I had about only three friends (one who was the girl i had that massive argument, another who I only saw at college and the third one who I barely saw at all). I was so upset at not having this girl in my life, and on top of that I felt incredibly lonely.
Only a week ago did she speak to me and we've started being friends again. In those months, I realised how silly it is to end a friendship over things that really aren't that bad.
The thing is, it happens. Even when you're best friends with someone, there will be a time when you two don't get along. Sometimes it's because they do something that is so wrong, but you know what? I don't think it's worth losing a friendship over.
There is a bit of an 'unwritten rule' about getting with your best friends ex. This rule means you have to ask your friend if you can hit on them, get with them, date them, whatever. But it's an unwritten rule for a reason. This thing in 10th grade happened years ago, and I don't understand why you would still be thinking about it. It's really not that big of a deal, I mean you guys were high school kids. If it bothered you, you should have said then or even say now "that really upsets me, it would be nice if you could ask me about hanging out or hooking up with my ex's before you do it, just out of courtesy."
The new situation is different, though. It's not cool for her to be hooking up with a guy you're interested in and that you're still talking to. And it's definitely not cool that she's hanging out with him secretly.
My advice is to NOT give her the ultimatum, i.e, "it's me or him". This never works. You need to talk to her about it. Explain why you're upset, and maybe she has things she's upset about to.
Maybe she did hate him because she didn't think it was right for someone in a relationship to be with another person. And maybe when she got to know him a little, she realised she really liked him and wanted to be with him. It might not be that she wants to hurt you or upset you, but that she really likes this guy and went about everything the wrong way.
People make mistakes, and I don't think there's much that is worth losing a friendship over. Cutting a person out of your life is awful, especially someone you're so close with. It's not something you get over easily and it always hurts. Best friends are more than friends, they're family. And you don't cut family out of your life over boys and arguments.
I honestly understand that what she did and is doing is horrible and really hurts, but I don't want someone else to give up their best friend like I did. Please talk to her.
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My friend is feeling scared and she's really upset and crying. She wont talk to me. What can I do to comfort her ? What should I say to her ? (link)
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What do you want people to do when you're crying?
When I'm crying, I get really embarrassed. All I want is for someone to give me a nice big cuddle, let me put my head on their shoulder and cry my heart out.
When I calm down a little, I feel like I've let out all of those bad emotions, and then my friend and I have a talk about what's upsetting me.
If she doesn't want to hug you, then just sit by her until she's ready to talk to you. If she doesn't want to talk, then just keep hugging her until she's all cried out.
You don't need to say anything, you just need to be that shoulder to cry on. If she wants to talk, just ask "what's wrong?" and let her talk while you listen.
I hope you're friend will be okay
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I have a male friend I've known all my life we grew up together. I have had a crush on him since I was 14 but not much happen because ended up moving away from each other. Now we are back in each others lives like in the old days. But whenever we are around it feels a little weird. I know I have a hard time talking to him because I like him and I'm trying hard to impress him and I dont know what to say or do when I'm around him. But it seems like he has a hard time talking to me too but hes not a shy person. He is very out going and social. So I was wondering why he is this way towards. I feel some sort of tension. I want to know how to make things more comfortable between us. What should I do? (link)
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In my experiences it can be two things.
1) It's been a while since you two have been around one another. Sometimes it's just difficult to return to that close friendliness. It's weird remembering that you two were so close once and that you aren't now, and just that can cause tension. This kind of tension has to resolve naturally, and it will. It's all about making an effort to be around each other and to learn to trust each other again, but without having to force yourself to try and be the close friends you once were.
2) There's something on his mind. It might be personal and completely unrelated to you, or it might be something involving you. I would suggest asking him if anything is on his mind, or if anything is wrong. Even if he says "nothing" and you have a feeling there might be something wrong, then just give it time. Eventually he will tell you.
Or alternatively, maybe he likes you?
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ok so me and my best friend are really close. were so close that people actually call us lesbians. we talk on the phone everyday for 2 hours. we see each other a lot and hang out. but lately ever since she got the job she is now working with me. we like to get the same shifts so we can work together. but we keep fighting now. and for some reason im just getting so mad at her for being so stupid at times for other reasons not at work. i dont know why im acting like this towards her. but i guess it's because im sick of her. I dont know. but we havent been talking a lot lately and we keep talking rudely to each other. i just want to fix it. and tomorrow we have different shifts and she wants me to change mine so i can work her shift. im just so stressed out with her it's making me be mean to her. what should i do? is it because i need some space from her or what? (link)
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Space is definitely a must. I love my best friends, but I can't be with them every moment, I'd go crazy!
Everyone has different comfort zones and personal spaces. Work is one of them. Work is a place where you do a different routine, behave differently, and have different kinds of friends. When your best friend is there, she's invading that space that was once yours and the lines between what is your personal space is blurred. Since you can't really avoid this, just don't fuss about shifts. If you get one with her, then great, but if you don't then don't worry about it. You should be acting in a professional manner anyway at work and not focusing so much on talking to your friend.
As for the rest of your time, don't go out of your way to avoid her, but just relax a little and enjoy quiet alone time. Try to explain to her if you can that you two being around each other so much is causing a lot of tension. Say in a nice way that you need a little bit of privacy and time to yourself. Not that this means never seeing her, maybe just not for a week. Then you two could plan to do something that you both enjoy the next week so that you can relax a little and have some fun. With my two best friends we try to see each other once a week to do something fun like have some drinks, go out to dinner, go shopping, watch dvds...etc. And this works out really well.
Best friends are like having boyfriends. Sometimes you get sick of them, sometimes you get angry for no reason and sometimes you just need to be away from them for a little bit. Even if she does get upset or angry at you saying you want some more time to yourself, she'll get over it and understand eventually.
Also with the New Years thing, don't worry about it. She cares about you a lot and wants to spend the best of times with you, and this tension thing is just fueling her to act out a little more aggressively than she normally would. Holding a grudge about it won't solve anything.
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i have this guy friend and i've known him all my life since i was a kid. i just was wondering could we be soulmates because i watch dawsons creek and i watched the series finale the other day and dawson and joey said that their soulmates.
but what does that mean?????? their in love or they know everything about each other inside out.
i know that sounds wierd but he seriously is always there. and he was there through my breakups. and everything, we always say i love you and hes like my brother but not by blood.
just want to know what a soulmate really is or am i just fooling myself.
(link)
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A soulmate isnt neccessarily anything or anyone, you can choose to believe it or not. A soul mate hs different meanings to everyone.
To me, a soul mate is someone who makes you feel complete, someone you dont see living without. If you think this guy is someone really special to you who makes you smile when your sad, and is someone your just happy you met, then sure hes your soulmate.
A soulmate is whatever you want to think it is.
I mean, you could even say that everyone has more than one soul mate.
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This year everything started out great..It was september and it was me and Xand Y and Z. Anyways Z starts being a jerk so her and Y get into an arguement. Then comes A, she joins are group but by November is gone. Then second semester B comes and everything is all good. But by the beggining of March trouble cpomes at us...we all begin hurting eachother and ruining eachothers lives. Then every thing is all good. But by the end of the month things go again...this time C gets involved and tells me not to be there friends and that X is a good friend but not very trustworthy. But by april things are good. Then comes the blow out..it was me and x and it was bad. It went on for two weeks. Then finnally we resolved it. But once again X proves to be un trustworthy. She spills my secret to B causing B to be angry adn causing Y to hate me too. Si one night I tell my mom. She tells me that I probaley do some of the things I say, she tells me that All of us are stirring up trouble. But she also tells me not to be friends with Y and B which I onehundred percent agree on. But she begins to lecture me telling me that I need to act like the good girl I am and then she tells me to treat people rightly so I told her that obviously B and Y don't want to be treated very well. She then continues lecturing telling me that I don't learn any thing. But my question is should I listen to C and my mom?? And Should I drop Y and B as friends?? Also what should I do with X, I can't trust her anymore and it really hurts because I fell like everyone is Against me. I feel so horrible and I have no clue what I should do. Please help! (link)
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Ok im pretty sure i understand that.
Look, you treat people how you want to be treated, but that doesnt mean if someones being mean to you your alowd to be mean back. Being mean to someone because they "deserve" it or not makes you just as bad as them.
It takes real maturity to look at a situation like this that your in and say to the people hurting you that you deserve alot better than how they are treating you, then walk away.
Theres billions of people in the world and you can make new friends who are much more genuine and treat you right.
Don't drop your friends because i said so, or because someone else said so, drop them if you dont want to be around them anymore and if you think you deserve alot better.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
P.S Every person in life has to deal with good and bad friends in life, so dont feel horrible about everything, decide whats right for you and think on the positive side of things.
Good luck with your friends.
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so ill start from the beginning. i was at lunch upstairs with mii friends, because itsz pretty boring in the lunchroom. so i wrote on the board, just something random and true but still random and not pointed at any particular person. so then im dont and admiring mii graffiti. veronica comes up to me and asks me whos password i new...i told her the truth...i was dumb to. i told her i knew her password, thinking she trusts me enough not to hack into it and all, and i dont. so then shes like ok wat is it. i tell her and shes just pushing me into the wall but i didnt fight bak because it wouldnt do any good. she tried to make me tell her who told me, but the person who told me her password(dont mistake her, shes mii best friend, the bestest friend i ever had, which is a true friend)told me not to tell and i wouldnt have told anyways if she didnt tell me not to cuz i would get her into trouble. itsz mii fault that i told her the truth, and i dont want nobody else taking up all of it 4 me. so yea...i dont know what to do. please help! also tell me your opinion on what you think, do i deserve this? i know i didnt do the right thing, but i wouldnt lie. please tell me what to do! i rate high if u gimme good advice! well, the lowest would be a 3. (link)
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In everyones life, we do little stupid things that at the time seem insignificant, but after the implications, we realise how bad they were.
Writing something random on the board about knowing someones password seems like you were actually asking for this person to confront you and like you wanted them to know you knew.
Writing that on the board drew attention to you and Veronica acted in the way she did because of it.
Its not your fault she used some sort of physical force against you but causing trouble was created from you writing on the board in the first place.
its not the fact that you told your friend the truth, its that you somewhat provoked the situation.
It was just a rediculous thing to write something so stupid on the board, when it would most likely draw attention to the fact you knew someones password and that it wouldnt cause a problem, especially when your best friend swore you to secrecy.
Next time, i suggest you think about your actions before performing them.
I also suggest that you apologise to this Veronica girl.
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14/f
about 4 years ago all the guys i new at school hated me, and i cried just about everynight. slowly we became friends again, im frineds with them now. im confused aobut guys and trust, does that have anything to do with it? (link)
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Most girls when they're 10 don't worry about guys until later in life so it boggles me why you would get so upset over them but that doesn't matter.
As your friendships and relationships with males develop your ability to trust them will slowly and gradually increase. The male species is a mystery to every woman.
In other words, nothing wrong with you everyone gets confused about guys and you just need to relax and dont think so much about guys (as hard as that is). Just smile and be happy! Not fake happy but real happy! Your making friends and with the opposite sex (go you!) so just think positive about whatever situation your in.
Im sorry if i didnt answer whatever your question was i didnt quite understand it.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
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I have this friend, lets call him Bob. Well now I'm on summer vacation and we dont talk. We used to talk in school all the time. After school and now all I do is think about Bob. I have no physical attraction toward Bob though. Bob just has a great personality. Bob could always make me laugh, and I was confused on wether I liked Bob for a bit, but I thought well I dont because I dont think he's physically attractive. And I base everything on looks. Bob gave me his number,but I dont call bob, bob dont call me. But what the heck, I CANT stop thinking about Bob. I dont want to like Bob though. I least I dont think I do. What should I do ? and do I like like him ? (link)
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Normally your basing wether you like someone or not on how they look which is shallow but anyways. You found this guy who has a great personality but might not be goodlooking and your confused because you dont know why your having feelings for him.
You like this guy. You like him because of who he is rather than what he looks like. Call him. Talk to him. Try to hang out with him.
Not everything is about looks and usually when you like someone on their personality their appearance grows on you and you end up loving it.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
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My best friend (D) told me not to long ago that she had sex when she was 12, now shes 14. I was shocked and disgusted too, because people always thought she was a whore. My other best friend told me that D told her that it happened more than once. Once in the bed, once in the shower, once on the beach, and once somewhere else, and a couple other times. This was all with her boyfriend (M). M died last year, and he was only 13. Anyway, she didn't tell me it happened all those times,because she knew I'd be even more disapointed I guess. When D told me about the first time, I told her I had lost respect for her. I think she is a whore. One time in class we were counting all the guys she dated, and I was naming random names and she would be like Yup. The total was 17. D turned 14 a few months ago. Would you agree that D is a whore? Also, would it be wrong to stop talking to her, because of that. (link)
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A whore, in what we think is someone who sleeps around alot. This girl, even though it is shunned in our society, had sex at a young age. She obviously liked this guy alot and it was her choice wether she did it or not. I know people who have dated more than that many guys or slept with more than just one guy, but i dont hate them or have lost respect for them.
This girl is your friend. Your jugding who she is because of her own choices to be sexual or not. It hasnt changed her as a person. If she had never told her you wouldnt have had a problem with her.
I know it is hard to accept she could do something so young but cmon shes your friend and she is still a good person. I think it is wrong to stop talking to her because of that. Your basing your entire friendship on what she did with her boyfriend when that is none of your buisness. D is a whore in the way she has slept around but just becuase she is one doesnt make her a bad person.
I suggest you think about what kind of friend you are being here. How can you just lose respect for someone who has opened up to u and told you something that was THEIR buisness not yours.
I have a friend who makes some bad choices of sleeping around with alot of guys but she is still a fantastic girl. Its her choice what she does in her privacy and in her relationships and none of my buisness. I worry for her and if she asks me for advice on a guy i will tell her its not safe to be doing this but i cant stop her and im not going to hate her for what shes done because the fast is she still is the friend i have always adored and nothings going to change that.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
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how do you stay bestfriends with a guy: i know this guy who is only bestfriends sometime: we flirt alot but we both know that were only friends& it doesnt mean anything:: like what could i say to flirt with him but for him to know its only a friendship?
URGENT! (link)
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Im not a guy BUT i do have a bestfriend who is a guy. Um why would you want to flirt with your bestfriend? Usually when you flirt with someone it means a bit more than friendship. A bestfriend, wether is a guy or girl, is someone you trust and enjoy being yourself around. Me and my bestfriend have like almost everything in common and no conversation is ever boring or awkward. You cant really flirt with a guy without them thinking you want more then a friendship. Or you could say "im flirting with you but only as friends". Do you like this guy? Like you cant really make someone your bestfriend you both just decide that you 2 are good friends and hes the one you trust out of all your friends.
My advice which is totally off the question is: Dont TRY.
It seems like your trying to make him your bestfriend and trying to make him want to be it. Friends are just supposed to love you for who you are and you don't have to change anything about yourself to make them like you.
If hes only a bestfriend sometimes, then he isnt really your bestfriend. a bestfriend is someone who is ALWAYS your friend not just a temporary resource.
Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
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16/f
Okay, so I have this friend that I work with. I hung out with him once and it was fun and all, but then he started asking me to hang out with him more. Last night, I THINK he implied that he's going to ask me out soon [as long as I understood what he said right] and I really don't want him to.
My dad is super overprotective and I don't want a boyfriend at all until I go to college so I don't have to deal with my dad. I don't want my friend to feel bad if I say no, and I don't want him to ask me out at all. I don't know how to avoid it. Any ideas?
Thanks in advance. (link)
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You can tell him whenever you 2 are together like "Omg my dads so overprotective i so dont want a boyfriend till after college" or something but make it subtle. If he does ask you out you will just have to say no and let him accept it. It can be hard but it doesnt mean you guys cant be friends. It might hurt him for a while but if you don't want to go out with a guy then its your choice and no one elses. Odds are if he likes you he's just going to ask no matter what you say and you just have to say no. You can tell him you still want to be friends that your just not interested in a relationship right now. Love xXxPuNki-PiXiExXx
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