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My bestfriend gets mad at me for stupid things
Me and my bestfriend have been fighting more recently and I feel that the friendship isn't even worth keeping. For example I went to the pool with her and took a wine cooler with me, and there was only one more left and I was planning on drinking it the next day, I told her she couldn't have it and she didn't make a big deal out of it at all, but when we had both parted ways after we left the pool she goes and tells her mother that I'm a rude and stingy person because I don't ask her if she wants a drink at the pool, as you can understand I had bought them for myself. Also she always makes me out to be a bad friend when we argue, like she is ungodly and has never done anything that I would consider 'rude' myself, and I have done literally everything for this girl, took her to Chicago and Flordia and didn't even have to pay for half of her trips . But yet she still feels I owe her something because I have 100 dollars in my wallet, to pretty much sum it up , do you feel this friendship is worth keeping ? Because I think having someone constantly get mad at you for little things just makes life stressful
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
When you're in a close friendship it's a bit like being in a relationship because you're around each other a lot, you give and take from one another, and you also accept each other's good qualities and flaws. There has to be a balance and equality for it to work, and from the sounds of it it's like she's take take take and not giving anything in return.
I have a few close girlfriends that I see often. My best friend and I have similar personalities but different interests so we get along pretty well and see each other often, though as with anyone we sometimes get a bit sick of each other and need a break. The great thing about our friendship is that everything is equal. We play-fight who will pay for a meal and the other always ends up paying for a meal or event another time. Everything is split right down the middle. The thing is, we both work a lot so we have a lot of money to spend. Maybe your friend doesn't have a lot of money or earns less than you, so she might feel like you should pay more than her because of it. If this is the case, it's still a no. It means she should say she can't do a lot of things or organising events that are a little bit cheaper. Yes it's nice sometimes to do something special for your friends or buy them random gifts, but if it's going unappreciated then it isn't worth it.
I have other girl friends that sound more like your friend. When we go out to dinner, I'll end up paying $50 while they pay $20 each and never offer to pay more. Money is an uncomfortable thing to talk about, so now I just don't see them very much. When I do go out with them it's a rare occasion and I try to go to cheaper places so that I'm not spending more than I should.
I think, even though it's uncomfortable, that you should talk about it with her if it's really bothering you. When you do things, make sure that it's equal - that means making sure she pays half for everything. If you're drinking, tell her and let her know that she should bring some drinks too. If she doesn't or says something like "yeah sure I'll pay you back" don't accept it. Say, "that's okay, we'll wait until we can pay the costs together." Friends don't always pay you back when they say you will.
I don't really like when people ask me if a friendship is worth it or along the lines of 'should i keep this person in my life' because the thing is, you care about this person. She IS a part of your life and will probably still be even if you decide you don't want to be around her anymore. I think if it's stressing you out and you believe that it's unfair, then don't spend as much time with her. Do what makes you happy and spend time with people that you love being around. Try talking to her and if she doesn't understand, then that's her problem. Maybe she'll come to her senses if you leave her alone for a while and just enjoy your life.
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Why be friends with someone if they're not fun to be around and they annoy you by getting mad at stupid things?
I'm sure you both have good times but if she keeps this up, she's going to lose a friend.
First, you should talk to her about it. If she starts arguing, don't argue back. Just accept that she's not worth keeping as a friend.
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From what you describe, it doesn't sound like a friendship worth keeping. But you don't mention any upside, only the bad things. Are there any positives in this friendship? If so, do they outweigh all these negatives?
It's good to stand by our friends through thick and thin, but there also comes a point where you must ask yourself: What's in this relationship for me? And there's nothing wrong with moving on if you decide there's just not enough there.
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