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Telling about my past to my boyfriend


Question Posted Monday July 30 2012, 10:39 am

I had a relationship with a married man with a daughter for a few months before we broke up. I totally regret about it now but i did not know on how to share about it with my current boyfriend. As far as i remember, there are 3 friends of mine who knew about this matter. At the same time, my group of friends are also my boyfriend's friends. i have lied to him that i had a relationship with a man who had registered marriage and had daughter later. I felt so guilty because i love my boyfriend so much.

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Xenolan answered Monday July 30 2012, 5:01 pm:
Unless your relationship with your boyfriend is such that you are considering marriage, he doesn't need to know.

Perhaps you shouldn't have lied to him about it, because now if you eventually choose to tell him the truth, you'll have to apologize for that lie. But it seems to me that the lie is understandable to a certain extent; this is something that you're deeply ashamed of and you are probably just not willing to share it with anyone and everyone.

If you start talking marriage with your boyfriend, then it will be necessary for both of you to come clean about anything in your past which might come back to haunt you later. One way to put it is that you want to go into your marriage "blackmail-proof".

But if he's just a Boyfriend, and that's all he's ever going to be, then you're entitled to keep some things to yourself. He doesn't need to know.

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