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siozeegreat@hotmail.comMember Since:
March 27, 2005Answers:
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So, I'm a sixteen year old girl, and I live in Ontario, Canada. I LOVE giving out advice. All my friends come to me for advice because:-I tell them the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
-I don't sugarcoat things. If your relationship is doomed, I'll tell you. I won't say "just talk to him" or stuff like that.
-I don't judge. Well, I do judge a little bit, but who doesn't. But, you can tell me you just had sex with 309573458346934584357 different people, and I'll still love you none the less.
-I'm just a normal person, and I probably go through the same everyday crap that the rest of you go through.
So yeah, feel free to drop me a line. As far as I know, I've never screwed someone over with my advice!
advice
Okay, I'm 14 years old, a male, and I am a homosexual FYI. I lived with my mom until her drug problems escaladed and I had to move with my grandparents. During that time, I became friends with this guy who I am friends with but am totally not attracted to whatsoever. I stayed there for a few months and we signed up for summer P.E. together and everything was going good. Then, I moved with my mom again and I became friends with this other guy who I am totally attracted to and I guess that kinda boosts his personality. I ended up blowing my other friend off and dropped out of summer P.E. to be with the guy I like/love or whatever. Is it bad I kinda ditched my best friend even though its my life and I should be able to do what I want and if this other guy makes me happy that should be the only thing that matters right? Anyways, my summer P.E. friend calls and says I blew him off to be with Ronnie and smoke drugs which isn't entirely false and he hangs up on me. Is it bad that I did this and what should I do now. Also, remember its too late to sign back up for summer P.E. and its also nice to know my summer P.E. friend is a republican and doesn't know I'm gay or anything like that. Please help me out of this bind.
Well, ditching your best friend like that was a shitty thing to do, he might have only signed up for that PE course because he knew you were going to. But fact of the matter is you do have to do what YOU feel is right, and you want to do with your life. Although you should probably apoligize to this friend of yours and try to find some way to make it up to him. Hard feelings are never good, and they may come back to bite you in the ass someday.
Good luck!
well one of my really good friends has this notebook that she writes all her feelings in I guess its a way to get rid of her stress..but anywayz i read it last night and it talked about getting raped and why did it have to happen to her and stuff..well i asked her if it was true and she didn't answer me i kept asking her but she said she didn't want to talk she cuts and I can't get her to stop..how can I get her to open up so I can help her? i dont want her to hurt herself more than she already has! Plz help! Sincerely, *Concerned*
It's good to see that you're a concerned friend, but you shouldn't have read her journal. That must have really hurt her because she may have been about to open up some more.
So, since you've seemed to have gone a couple steps backwards, you might be able to get her to open up some more by telling her things you don't tell anyone, this way, she'll feel like she's you're confidant, and then she may feel the same way about you.
Good luck!
one of my best friends ever is friends w/ my enemy ((lets call her sam))! no one in our skewl likes sam except for my friend because she lies, shes a slut nd a bitch!! its one thing when youre excluded w/ yur bbf! its another when the person who took yur place is your enemy! wut can i do? how can i make her understand?
Now, now, namecalling is not the answer.
SO ONE FRIDay i was playing around with my bff's and on propse i opned that the bathroom door on one of them 9 don't ask me why i did it) & it was kinda funny, so i laughed. then i went to the bathroom and they diched me. it didn't make me mad cause thy do it all te time. i figued they were mad & figured that they would be over it by monay.they didn't. today is friday that was a week ago. i tried to write an apoige letter before i sent it she sent me a letter. it was really mean the called me a "no longerer" & cused me out.so someone went an talked to them & told them that wrote a letter but didn't send it( do u blame me) so they she worte me another letter saying they didn't want to be mad and sayed should apoliged at the beginning not know. so i still haven't sent the letter yet & i don't do. i'm really hurt & want to be their frirnd agian. they are some of their best friends i have ever had so what should i do any body have an idea please help, ask your friends,I'm desprite!!!!!
That was a stupid thing to do.
My friends and I are trying to get this one boy from my classical music class to start to appreciate rock music and rap music, pop music etc. He isn't responding to most of it and is giving answers to rap music like, "You don't know what he's saying!!" Is there an easy way to introduce him to this type of music?
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. There's nothing wrong with classical, just leave the boy be.
My good friend is really mad at me I asked her what she thought of one of our guy friends and I thought she said she liked him. But we were in the hallway and I guess I didnt hear right. I told this guy friend because he likes her somewhat. well it turned out that i was wrong and he told her that i told him and she immed me and was cursing me out and stuff. I tired to explain to her that i missunderstood and that i was sorry. She then told me that even if she had i had no right to tell him and that she wont ever tell me anything again. She wont even talk to me. I feel really bad about the whole thing. What shud I do?
Just wait it over, she'll get over it eventually, and you guys will go back to being friends. Plus, things will probably work out for the best with this guy of hers.
ok i have a friend and she's been involved in drugs and drinking and all that stuff because she's had a really hard life her father beat her and step brothers used to rape her. she ran away from home so that they couldn't hurt her anymore but she got involved in selling drugs and now if the cops find her she'll probably go to jail i know where she is and i want to get her some help but i don't want her to get in trouble either what should i do?
I'm really sorry about your friend, and I know this advice is gonna sound mega cliche, but you just gotta let someone know. Obviously she's going to get in some trouble, because what she's done is wrong, and she probably knows that. She also realy needs your help right now, and the best thing you can do for her right now is get her the help she needs, even if it means her going to jail for a while. If she doesn't get that help now, she could end up dead in a ditch, and that's the truth.
Good luck.
okay..this is going to be long, but i really need help. Ok, my (old) best friend is bipolar. She is really a hard-to-handle person. I dont know what to do cuz lately weve been getting into fights because im so sick of her bitchy-ness. I have no clue on what to do with her, shes like, starting stuff with her one other friend (cuz thats all she has) with me, so now were fighting too. This girl also walks around and shes all quiet and she thinks shes ugly and EVERYONE is out to get her-when really nobody knows her. If she were louder and had more friends-i think shed be happier. What should i do? PLEASE HELPP!!
I know you said that she's hard to handle, and you're sick of her being bitchy, but I think you need to just stick with her, because It's probably not easy for her.
If you want her to get more outgoing, when you're around her, just be in a happy, cheery mood and be very eccentric and outgoing, hopefully she'll realize what she's missing out on by being quiet and shy. You should introduce her to some of your friends, or encourage her to just start talking to people when you go out.
Good luck!
I go to a drama school every week, once a week, and I have lots of friends there, both boys and girls. Some of my best friends are a boy called *Sam* and a girl called *Lisa*. When it was Lisa's birthday, we all went to the cinema. Sam came too. When Sam left later, we all agreed that it was obvious he fancied Lisa. I was a little disapointed as I used like Sam, and I suppose I still like him a little. The next week, somebody brought in a box of chocolates for Lisa and she let us all dip in. When I reached over, she gave me a look that told me to 'get lost'. But that next second, Sam reached over and took about 3 chocolates. When I asked could I have one, Lisa said no. Then a few weeks later at the performance, backstage we had a real argument in which she said I liked another boy at drama. I denied it as I don't like him. I told Lisa that 'you could talk - you think the world revolves around Sam!' and she went and told everyone to get them on her side. I can say something the exact as what she says, but I'm the one who gets in trouble for it!! I know two wrongs don't make a right, but you know how it goes. We are friends again now, but I'm not sure if we were as good with each other as we were. 14/f.
In this type of situation, there's nothing you can really do but have a good honest chat with Lisa. She might not realize how she's acting. If the two want to go out with each other, you can't stop them.
ok, here's the story: i liked this guy (let's call him Bob) and my friend likes (or liked) this other guy (let's call him Bill). well, we told each other during spring break about who we liked. and we promised not to tell. and neither of us did.
But now i don't like Bob and i think she still likes Bill, because it's really obvious (she flirts with him and stuff), but now that i say i don't like Bob, she acts like she doens't like Bill and if i tell her it's really obvious, she threatens to say that i still like Bob to one of the school's blabbermouths.
i know she still likes Bill and i'm getting sick of agreeing that she doesn't like him.
(by the way, we're only in junior high)
Just try not to bring it up, because she's clearly defensive about it. Maybe she's embarrassed about you knowing who she likes when she has no idea who you like now. You can occassionally make a joke about it, or just let her know that you really don't care about who she likes and stuff, and just have her know that she can trust you and you won't go blabbing about her liking Bill.
Okay, so one of my friends is having a B-Day party on Friday. She's inviting a bunch of people. She claims that she is my BFF, and she loves me as a friend so much. The problem is that whenever i go to her parties, she ignores me and hangs around with her other friends, and NEVER talks to me. Should i go ?
I go through the same thing with my friends. She probably values your friendship a lot, but she doesn't want to be with you ALL the time, she wants to socialize with others, since you guys aer probably together a lot. But she also needs to know that you feel neglected, so maybe casually bring it up sometime.
As for the party, I say you go. It's her birthday, and I'm sure she'll really appreciate having her best friend there, even if she doesn't show it.
okay, so there is this guy that won't leave me alone. i mean i wanna be friends with him, but he wants to be my girlfriend. I am really starting to hate him. i was talking to him in aim and he kept saying things like "i love you," or "okay, see ya girlfriend". i kept telling him to stop, but he WON'T! arrggggggggggggggg!
please help me b4 i kill him!
Just tell him that you're not interested in him as a boyfriend, and he should get the point. If he doesn't, avoid him for a bit and he should get the message.
If by this point he doesn't get it, let someone else know. By someone else I mean someone older, a parental figure or whatnot.
Good luck.
okay this question is for my friend who can't ask it so i am doing it for her. well her best friend just recently died at age 12. and she wants to go to her funeral and wants me to go with her but her mom won't let her go because its during school and she thinks she will get all emotional but she really wants to go so she can say bye and she wants me to go with her so she has a shoulder to cry on if she needs one. does anyone know how she can get her mom to change her mind and let her go to her best friends funeral? please help.
It seems to me that your friends mother never lost a best friend.
Her mother needs to realize that if she doesn't go, it might cause many more emotional problems down the road, and it will be even harder to deal with more deaths as she gets older.
Try to get a school counsellor to write a note to her mother, advising that your friend goes to this funeral. If your friends only around the age of 12, missing one day of school isn't that bad. At that age, school isn't nearly as important as something as a funeral.
I'm sorry for her loss.
Sporkster here, and I've got a question for you lovely people here on Advicenators:
I've got this "friend" of mine who's been rather...hard to get along with lately. You know who you are, "friend." Anyway, in Study Hall one day she just errupted like Mt. Vesuvius. I mean, over something so petty she just blew it. My boyfriend had moved to another table to take a quiz and she came over to sit with me. There's this stupid rule my SH teacher came up with stating that only two people can sit at one table until ten minutes prior to the bell rings. My boyfriend finished and came back over, and right before I was going to tell him to wait a minute so I could finish talking to her she just..."*slams book together, packs up bookbag, moves* Fine, I see who's more important, I'll just move! *mutters incoherently*" I just was...shocked. She didn't even give me a chance to tell him that I needed to finish talking to her. Anyway, she's been really sore over this for the past week or two. I mean, she doesn't sit with my boyfriend, me, and our friend anymore. She never talks directly to me, however, she has this obsession with talking ABOUT me. She's lied about my boyfriend and me, giving people the impression that I'm some sort of slut. This is really starting to annoy me. Not the fact that she's talking about me, but that she's lying about me. I really do wish she wouldn't be so sensitive and...paranoid. Our friendship has been an ongoing battle ever since my boyfriend and I have been going out. I don't really want our best-friend friendship back, I just want to come to terms with her and "agree to disagree", if you will. But she won't even compromise with that! I've tried everything you could possibly think of and then some, but she doesn't want to listen to a word I say to her. Can anyone offer some sort of ideas for getting her to just listen to me for five minutes to sort things out? Any input would be appreciated, though I am looking for good, well thought-out, helpful answers. Thank you in advance for every good answer.
I think you just gotta straight up tell her. Even if it means making a scene and yelling at whatnot, just don't do it in a public place because she'll feel really embarrassed and probably won't listen to you since she'll be focused on how embarrassed she is.
One day, just start being really friendly to her, 'clingy' i guess would work, so that she would agree to hang out or something after school. So, say you're at your house, watching tv or whatever, then turn it off. And just tell her. Make sure she gets the point. Let her know that you're not going to take anymore of her blowing up, because clearly she's looking for attention from you since you're paying more attention to her boyfriend.
Good luck, and let me know what happens!
Well , i was eating lunch with my 'friends' and they were completely ignoring me, so then they were talking about going to a sooftball game at school and didnt even see if i wanted to go.. so then i just left and they said i ditched them, but they werent even acknowlaging that i was there. so then the next day at lunch i went to find them, but i couldnt, so i ended up eating by myself, but they were like oh you probably are just making excuses. so then after school they were walking together, and they looked at me, laughed and then went into the bathroom. this was the day that they were going to the softball game. so yesterday i was talking to lets call her "E" and i told her that i was upset that they were leaving me out on their plans, and she was like ' oh my god, your making this such a bigger deal than it really matters' and then 'oh my god, you know i have to go .' so they all are saying that im making a biggger deal out of this, but when i was making plans, i included them all in it, and then they didnt want to go if one of them werent going so we ended up not even doing it. but this time they didnt even bother to ask me if i wanted to go. sorry this was so long, but i need advice on what i should do. thanks!
I know what that's like.
The only thing you can do is set them straight. Yes, make a scene. Yell at them. Let them know who's boss, and you're not going to let them walk all over you. You're a person too, and you're not going to take their bull.
ok im planning a sweet 16 at a hotel..i was wondering how i can control the people who come in? i dont want people who arent invited or random teenagers who are hotel guests popping in. Any suggestions? 5's for anyone who isnt obnoxious
Keep it on a friends only basis. Make sure your friends know they aren't to invite others. That way you keep control of who comes in.
Also, make sure you don't provide booze, even though it's fun, it'll lead to a whole load of people trashing the place, and you don't want to be charged for that!
i have this friend lets call her jay. jay liked this boy ((lets call him P)) her and P used to go out but he broke up with her because she was to slow. (well cuz she never kissed him) but he still loved her and she still loved him so they were just talking for a while and they kissed a few times to. he finally decided he wanted her back. but thats wen she went to a dance and started dancing with some boy ((lets call him E)) well she sorta got a crush on E i guess because wen she came to school the next day she had i love E on her hand. well that was the day P was gonna ask her out. but she made me tell P she sed no so i did and i could tell he was hurt. now she is obsesed with E and he is 11 and she is 13. how do i tell her that she made a big mistake and that she is dumb by choicing a 11 year old? how do i tell her that w.o hurting her feelings?
This is just confusing.
I'm so glad I'm not in junior high anymore.
i moved like a year ago, and everytime i try to get together with my old friends they come up with some lame excuse. i dont know what to think.
Oh man, been there. I had moved to another country for a year and a half, and when I came back, I got all these stupid excuses. "I have to see my grandma" "I have to go to the dentist.... on a sunday...."
Just forget about them. If they don't value your friendship, why should you?
so im planning a sweet 16 and i made a guest list and came up with 66 people so far. This was without crossing off the "questionables." what i mean by that is those people who you dont really talk to..but you dont hate either..and the couple of people who had a sweet 1 in september but didnt invite you..and now it seems we are a little more friendly. Hope i didnt confuse you guys..any tips on what to base who you invite on? anyone ever been in my place before? how did you decide who to cross off? i dont usually talk to the "gangsta" group..but i figure inviting them would spice my party up..is this the wrong idea? i need help lol so dont be afraid to critisize
5's for everyone who isnt obnoxious
First off, happy birthday!
It really depends on how many people you think your house can hold, without getting the place trashed.
First on your guest list should be your core group of friends, and then maybe people you talk to in class or in the halls. You should invite people you aren't really friends with anymmore, just so they don't feel left out. They normally don't come, because they know that they're not friends with your new friends. But at least they know you thought about them.
Of course, if you have a crush or something, you gotta invite him.
I hope you have a great time with your party! Don't get too wasted!