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well one of my really good friends has this notebook that she writes all her feelings in I guess its a way to get rid of her stress..but anywayz i read it last night and it talked about getting raped and why did it have to happen to her and stuff..well i asked her if it was true and she didn't answer me i kept asking her but she said she didn't want to talk she cuts and I can't get her to stop..how can I get her to open up so I can help her? i dont want her to hurt herself more than she already has! Plz help! Sincerely, *Concerned*
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
well obviously if she wrote about it.
face it... it's true.
get her help in a nice way.
dont go tattle to her parents right away.
smooth into things...make it calm.
write her a letter or something, showing your concerned.
she'll come around when she's ready for you.
dont bug into her space to much...it'll push you out of her space even faster than getting in.
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Dear Concerned,
First of all if she did get raped you need to tell an adult. You need to try to get through to her and tell her you know whats going on and that she needs help, tell her that she is hurting herself even more by cutting herself and if she lets her thoughts and feelings out then she will be able to feel better.♥
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its good that your concered for her but she really needs profesional help ... its to much for you to handel and a proffesional will know just what to do . you must understand if this is true it may be too painfull for her to talk about it .when she is ready she will open up .there may be more to the story than you know ... if your really concened bring her to a proffesional or call a hotline .
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It's good to see that you're a concerned friend, but you shouldn't have read her journal. That must have really hurt her because she may have been about to open up some more.
So, since you've seemed to have gone a couple steps backwards, you might be able to get her to open up some more by telling her things you don't tell anyone, this way, she'll feel like she's you're confidant, and then she may feel the same way about you.
Good luck!
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omg! To you realize that what is happening to your friend could scar her for the rest of her life...(and I am not taking about the cutting)...what if she really did get rapped? Are you just going to sit back and watch your friend beat up her self? Tell someone who you can trust and don't be shy about this! It is serious! And if you think that you can handle it your self maybe you need to reconsider things becasue you are asking for help swettie. Please Please tell someone who can get your friend help and who can get who ever rapped her. He could do it every night...Help your friend! Maybe your friend just need to one special person. Ask her if there is anyone she can open up to...And tell her that you are only trying to help and that you are worried about her. Best of wishes.
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Tell her to stop being a baby and quit cutting herself.
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Well you may have to go gentle to get her to open up to you. Why not keep a journal yourself and let her read yours. I know it won't have anything traumtic in it, like hers, but it may make her feel more comfortable. But now she knows that you do know, so she may in time open up to you. Please be patient, and tell you that you are there for her, no matter what happens. You might want to educate yourself more on this crime to you are in a position to be of some help when she does open up. SHe needs to go to the police, but I am sure that she feels responsible. I am sure that the person who raped her, has convinced her that she is at fault. But by LAW it is never never ever the victims fault. At any point in the act, a woman, even a paid prostitute can say NO, and the act has to stop by law. So if it was a boyfriend who forced her, or if it was date rape, or even if it is family, it is against the law. She is truly the victim and needs your sympathy and understanding and patience right now. Even if you told the authorities, and they question her, she is not obligated to tell them anything. Since you are her friend, she may open up to you. And i agree with you she needs to get through this. Keeping it inside will set her up for many more problems for the rest of her life. Cutting would be the least of her problems. Good luck to you both. You are a good friend.
Michele
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you should go to a guidance counselor at school and say that your worried about your friend. I know it sounds corny and whatnot but the counselor is trained for this. Your friend may get mad at you but just remember that your doing it for her good.
*- Ange
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