Maybe your friend didn't mean to sound harsh when she said that, but it definitely doesn't hurt to have more than one friend because usually things will happen with your friend and you can't vent to anyone else because she's your one friend.

Just remember that being popular doesn't mean being a bitch to people and making out with all of the good looking guys. It means that you are liked by tons of people because you are nice to everyone and don't make fun of people. But, you should definitely make more friends and get closer to other friends.

-TheTeenGirl

Heh? What? WOW lets check the date on that...


October 27th, 2006?

Ohh man. Still going for this guy? Hmmm wow.

Don't bore ME with your life that keeps repeating.

Me, ask you for sympathy? Eh not ever.

Awww, well no wonder you're so sensitive and depressed. You think you're stupid and ugly, you really have low self-esteem.

You have to really accept that you are a person and you deserve happiness and love, just like everyone else. And if some people don't agree with that, those are people who really value themselves too much and are selfish.

Theres definitely no such thing as being too sensitive to your ex best friend meeting a new friend who ditches you. It's wrong of her and she should be the one depressed because she's leaving you behind. And you seem like a great girl with a great personality. Honestly, I've been in this situation, so I have a pretty good idea of the way you feel right now.

The reason you feel so depressed and you're shutting out is because thats the first easy thing you can do. Is closing the doors and not letting anyone in, that way, you can't get hurt again. But, eventually you have to make new friends that are better and you will. But it takes a lot of confidence. You have to treat yourself like you deserve better friends. If you walk around saying you're not smart and unattractive, people will treat you that way and take advantage of you.

The best way of helping yourself feel better is talking to someone. Being open is a great way to make friends and relieve stress. You can start with a counselor, parent, other friends, family, therapist. It might take a ton of time, but it'll definitely be worth it.

I also want to say that, If you can't find anyone to talk to, I am here. All you have to do is drop me something in my inbox and I will talk to you about anything you're open to talking to. I hope things get better for you.

-TheTeenGirl

Hmm wow that answer that says it's not possible really upsets me.

Speaking from experience, I have been in love with someone over the internet. We were together for 4 years and went very strong. Yes, it ended, but it had nothing to do with the fact that we wanted other people.

Online love definitely is not a shallow love, it can be pretty powerful, but rare. It's just so rare that you'll find a great guy who won't be cheating or dong things you won't ever know. I don't encourage it, I tell you to be careful and very patient.

-TheTeenGirl

It's just better for you to step away and let your friend decide whether or not this guy is good for her. I mean, your words advice might help, but she probably won't listen to you and not because she doesn't think you're right, but because she just wants to keep control in her own relationship.

So you should try checking on her and ask her how things are going every once in a while, but don't make it sound like you are a concerned parent or anything because she'll just take it like you don't trust her that her boyfriend has gotten better.

-TheTeenGirl

It wasn't really right to tell Brittany anything that Carrie said about her.

It's really hurtful to repeat things that were said about the girls and it's not important for her to know. Now, lets face the facts, you told Brittany everything so that maybe she would like you more for telling her everything and being honest, right?

Whatever the reason was, it was wrong for you tell her anything that was said. If they really need to know, they should go and ask each other themselves. The best that you can do is stay out of it. Especially when it's a girl fight. They get catty and they say horrible things about each other that they hardly even mean and it's best for you to just nod and listen, and then change the subject. If they start asking you what you think or whose side you're on, start talking to them both about how you are not going to be forced on sides.

Maybe it's time to tell them separatly that it's best for them to go their own ways and quit talking about each other. Which may not happen, but as long as you stay out of it, then things will eventually get better for all of you.

-TheTeenGirl

You will always drift apart from some of your friends. It doesn't even matter how close you once were.

This friend sounds like she's changed. She might just seem stuck up now and sometimes people will change like that.

You need to stop making calls or coming up to her first. If you've tried to make the friendship work, then you have to just walk away and move on with some new friends or catch up on old friends. If she wants to hang out with you, let her come to you, let her call you. The next time she calls and asks, just say, "I'd love to hang out, but are you going to blow me off this time?" Or something like that. It may seem harsh, but what she's doing to you is a lot harsher.


-TheTeenGirl

It's probably the fact that your friend tends to get with guys who are trash and losers. Now, the thing is that you can tell her 500 times that this next guy isn't worth it, but she's not going to follow that even though it's coming from you. She just sees a guy she's into and a guy thats into her and thats it.

If anything, she's not trying to ignore your opinion or put you down by going out with a guy you don't like anyway. She's just experiencing with life as a teen and the boys.

Now you may not like the guys she goes out with, but I do think that if she wants you to read their conversations, just read them and say something and then move on. If he says something rude to her, give her advice and tell her that he's not treating her right. As for having to watch them make out, that's ridiculous. If they start making out, you've got every right to get up and go home. What's the fun in sitting there watching two people all over each other while you have to deal with the embarrassment of sitting there in the akward silence?

Jealousy might have something to do with it. But lets face the facts here: Your friend is being a girl. Dating guys and breaking up. You do the same thing except you just might be picking the guys who treat you better. Besides, even if you don't like your friend's taste, don't insult it or let it bother you. People are attracted to different people and your friend is probably not attracted to the average skinny/preppy/skater type of boys.

So the next time your friend gets a boyfriend, take the time to ask her about him and let her explain how great he is. Don't roll your eyes and think it's another loser or you WILL get caught up in those thoughts even if he turns out to be an okay guy.

-TheTeenGirl

Well, you won't be able to change what's going on in her life or how she feels about herself, but you can be there for her.

If she wants to be a perfectionist, let her be. She will eventually learn that she's being a bit picky and she'll start to give guys chances. If you butt in and tell her she's making a mistake, she'll just feel worse about her friend not helping her through a break-up. Besides, I think you are pretty lucky that you've got a friend who doesn't let herself become a doormat by a guy like a lot of girls do.

She's going through what every girl goes through. Family problems. There isn't one problem in this world that another person doesn't have. I'm not telling you that she should stop being sad, but she needs to know thaqt she's not alone and that even some girls go through foster homes and all of that and still got through life and turned out ok. I'm just trying to have you tell her that she's not alone in any of this because that's probably what she needs to hear every once in a while.

Self-esteem will always be a problem in people's lives. Either you begin to show yourself that you are worthy and that you can achieve anything, or you close the doors and decide already that you can't do it. Who knows what your friend will do, but all you can do is keep telling her that she's capable of anything she wants and that you believe in her.

-TheTeenGirl

You're right about two things.

1. You don't need to drink to have a good time.

2. Your friendships with these friends probably won't be the same if they continue down this path.

It's hard to see friends do things that you know isn't right. What really matters is that you don't let them pull you down with them and it seems that you won't have a problem in that area. I've noticed that you asked this question twice. You must be really hurt by all of this. It's happened to me and my best friend and we aren't friends anymore. I'm 16 and we stopped being friends at 13 because she made new friends who drank and did drugs and I couldn't do it. My point is that I've dealt with it and I have new best friends. It's been very hard getting there with new friends, but I made it and you can too.

Honestly, theres nothing that you can say or do when it comes to situations like this. It's about decisions. Decisions that define you as a person. Unfortunatly, your friends are making the bad choices. It happens and you can't tell them no. I'm not saying that you should blow them off and stop being with them, but if they drink, don't let that tempt you to drink. I think you'll learn to adjust to it because everyone has friends who does these things and it's up to you whether or not you do it too.

-TheTeenGirl

I know that there must be a lot on conflict coming between you and your friends and no matter what it's not going to stop, but you can get yourself out of it and that is what matters. A lot of times people will say things to other friends about some other friend and then it will get around to them and they'll find out that you were the one who said it.

The best that you can handle this gossip and bad talk is when someone starts to say something bad about a friend, just say, "I understand where you're coming from, but she is still a great person" or simply change the subject to avoid the backstabbing. And when you get upset with a friend, don't backstab. Just say to another friend, "It really upset me when she did this.." If you go and call that friend a slut or a whore and a lot of bad things, that friend will likely know about it later. The best that you can do for the sake of your group is when if you have an issue, you should let them know, not through a friend, just let them know what's upsetting you, and when you figure out through a friend that another friend is having an issue with you, just say, "Listen, I have a feeling that you may not be very happy with me, can we talk?" Instead of "Lisa told me that you called me a whore, what's up with that?"

All girls who have a best friend will always have other good friends no matter what. Your best friend has time with her family, so why shouldn't you be able to spend time with your family and not worry about her getting too close to someone else?

The fact is that if your best friend truly likes you and respects you as her best friend, then she won't let other friend jeopardize the friendship you have. I can't promise you that she won't find another good friend that might be closer with her than you both were, but that happens a lot. We meet friends and they become best friends, and then maybe that best friend will find another friend they love spending their time with. It doesn't make you less fun to be with. There will be times when you and a friend won't be as close, but if it ever gets to the point where that friend completely drops you, then maybe the friendship wasn't ment to last and the only thing you could do was let them know you miss them.

-TheTeenGirl

I understand the feelings you are having about you and your friend. In fact, a lot of people know what you're feeling because not all friends stay good friends or even stay friends forever and they do grow apart.

You know for sure that she's always going through best friends pretty quickly and that might be what's going on since it always has been. Let's face the facts by saying that you've basically tried everything you could to keep this friendship burning as well as it used to and it doesn't seem to be working. What you have to do is accept that you and your friend won't be as close as you used to be and that's what happens a lot. Friends will come and go, people in your life will come and go. That's why we meet new people, new best friends, new boyfriends or girlfriends so that we can move on with those people instead of trying to go back in the past and trying to figure out what made her move on.

Moving on to new people and letting go of the old is apart of life and it's something you'll always be dealing with.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you both have always had a strong friendship, but now it's time to settle down with being around this friend so much and try spending your time with another friend.

Your friend is being absolutely selfish and you need to say, "Hey, it really hurts my feelings that you have to go and let me know whether I have acne or if I've gained weight" And when she starts freaking out and says that she's joking, just say, "It's not a joke if you are the only one laughing" and then send her home or hang up with her if you're on the phone. Get away from her when she starts acting stupid. I'm sorry, but your friend knows eactly what she's doing and if you don't stand up and let her know that you don't tolerate that kind of treatment, then she'll always continue to think it's ok to put you down.

If she's not listening to you, don't listen to her. If she freaks out on you in a confrontation, then freak out on her when she does the confrontation. Give her a taste of her own medicine or just leave and let her know that you aren't sticking around to listen to it.

-TheTeenGirl

Well you could be right. She might be stressing over something in her family, and if you feel like you've tried reaching out to her, then it's probably best to give her some space until she's willing to talk about it or just moves on and lets it pass.

If you havn't already, tell her that you've noticed for a while that she's been upset and down about something and ask if she wants to talk about it. If not, let her know you're here if she needs someone. But don't be offended if she doesn't want to talk about it. I know you're used to helping her, but she probably needs space and wants to deal with it in her own way.

If she tells you that nothing is wrong, then just say that you feel like your friendshp is a little distant lately and if she still doesn't come around, then leave her alone and give her time.

-TheTeenGirl

Usually when we get caught up in relationships, we tend to think that nothing else around us matters and you become so attatched because we love the feelings we get when we are in relationships, especially serious ones.

But, the biggest mistake that you can honestly make is to ditch friends and family things for your boyfriend. Your feelings of wanting to be with him constantly are normal, but don't let them take over you. It not only hurts those around you, but it won't be long until the both of you get sick of each other faster and it's harder to get along later on.

Another thing you have to realize is that you can have fun with your friends. No, you can't kiss them or cuddle them like your boyfriend kind of fun, but you can shop, gossip or whatever it is you do that you can't do with your boyfriend. If he doesn't like shopping, go with your friends. Let your girly side come out with your friends and other parts of you that isn't really apart of your relationship. Besides, try going out for a day and come back late at night and you'll see that those exciting feelings you get with your boyfriend is even more intense when you havn't seen him in a while and you miss him.

The point is that you both have to have lives around each other. There has to be your life, and then there's your relationship life. There has to be his life, and his relationship life. If you don't take time off from him to be with your friends, then soon you'll realize that your friends havn't been calling you and without him you're sitting around bored with no life behind your boyfriend.

Even though you may not want to, call a friend and ask her to a movie or something you both like to do. Let her know that you're sorry that you havn't been out that much anymore, but you're geting settled in your relationship and you're coming back out.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you're feeling depressed through a phase. Sometimes when a lot of things are getting rough, we add it all up and tend to make it bigger than it really is.

I'll be honest by letting you know that I think you're pretty lucky that your mom isn't a very busy woman. My mom has always been busy and I'm constantly struggling with feeling like she wants to spend any time with me and it gets me pretty angry and depressed. If anyone, I think that a great best friend could be your mom. You two may not get along or have a lot of conflict with each other, but I did with my mom too and we can finally be in the same room after a few years. And what I've learned was that we were fighting over something that should never have mattered and something that shouldn't ever come between us. Now, she's just my mom and we have typical disagreements.

About your friends in general: The way I see it, if they don't want to be around you and don't want to call you, then that friend is probably not much of a friend. Sometimes it helps to tell them that you miss them and want to hang out and see what they say. If you know that a certain friend likes shopping, invite her to go shopping with you. Shopping may not be your thing, but it can't hurt to start something again with a friend.

I think that you'd probably find it comforting to talk to your mom about how your life is and try hard to get closer to her. If anything, that's what I really want you to try and it can't hurt to try. You know for sure that she's probably miserable, and I think that she'll really like to know how much you care about her. Usually when people are hiding out and alone, they just need to know they are loved by someone.

-TheTeenGirl

I think the truth is that your friend and your brother just want to hook-up and mess around, which you already know because their excuse of not dating is unrealistic.

I'm not sure why your friend would promise to not hook-up with a family member of yours and then go behind your back and do it, but you need to confront her about this promise and what happened. Let her know that if she's going to try hooking up with someone in your family then don't make a promise that she won't.

I know you're worried about the way your brother acts with his new girl every week, but let her know ahead of time that you know he's always bringing home new girls and treats them badly. If she doesn't want to take your warning seriously, then let her learn the truth.

If any of these family members happen to be an adult and she's a minor, then that's when you have to take serious action. You need to let your parents know if anything like that is going on.

-TheTeenGirl

Your friend probably feels strange about you being friends with someone who everyone calls a slut and so it probably makes her think that you're changing, and all you need to do is let her know that you've taken the time to know her so far and she's not all what everyone makes her out to be.

Also, let her know that you do still value your friendship with her very much and that you don't want to cause a war between her and your new friend. Tell her that you'd like for her to meet her first and then decide whether or not she wants to go to this concert with the both of you.

-TheTeenGirl

If you talk to anyone, you are better off saying something to Red about it. Let her know that you feel like there hanging out more and more is starting to become something more than just hanging out and it hurts you a lot because you still have feelings for this guy.

I don't think talking to this guy would help at all. You have to confront Red about this situation considering that she is your best friend.

-TheTeenGirl

Well, I think it's great that you and Sam took all of this time to only get closer as friends instead of stirring things up with the rest of your gang.

As for now, keep that friendship with her going. Amanda is the one who decided that you both weren't her friends so if she's too unhappy without you both, she can come to you guys and say something about it. Not you.

I'm not sure what it is that made her decide to do this, but at this point it probably shouldn't matter. Maybe the truth is that she has always been jealous of the friendship you and Sam have had. But I think if she truly discovers that you both were an important role in her life, then she'll come around and say something or make someone else tell you like last time.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

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