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chose boyfriend over friends?
I'm in my first serious relationship with an amazing guy. My family & friends all like him, and of course I like him very much. The problem is, since him and I have been together, I've spent less time with friends. They have been trying to hangout with me, but for some reason I have more fun with my boyfriend. I feel like a horrible friend because these girls are great friends. Is it so wrong that I'd rather be with my boyfriend at this point in my life? (17/F)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Me and my gf were like this, then her friend came and talked to her..,,she started hanging out with her friends all the time today she broke up with me b cuz she thinks we've changed but she let us change she didn't care about us changing and now were broken up...I CRy almost everyday and she is there laughing with her friends like I don't exist....she broke my heart and she doesn't care
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i am recently having that same exact problem exept i am not the one with the boyfriend.. i am the best friend of the girl that has the boyfriend. & let me tell you.. she spends a lot of time with this boy, i mean i know she really likes him in all but she cant just ditch her friends right. so im jjust saying this as of now before all heck brakes loose i wouldnt ditch your friends alot for your boyfriend because of experience i know that it really hurts :( but its not like you have to spend every waking moment with one of the two.. maybe you could all get together; or spilt up your spending time evenly. but i am just saying this now before people get hurt so remember that boys come & go but friends stay forever. make the right decision.
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No its not wrong to want to spend time with your boyfriend. Try getting your boyfriend and your friends and you to spend time together.
If they like him, they wont have a problem hanging out with the both of you.
It would also be a good idea once in a blue moon to spend a night with the girls, if your boyfriend loves you..he wont mind.
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DO NOT isolate your friends!!!! I had this expirience. My friend would ditch us for her bf and his friends and all we were was P.O.ed. I may sound like a total brat for calling you wrong, but if I know one thing, it's that most friends last way longer than any boyfriend. But if you still find hangin' with your guy more fun, why don't you and your guy and your friends go out all together. Make sure you invite other guys he hangs with, too, so he doesn't feel like a 3rd wheel, and so your girls have some eye candy! Hope that helps!
Alice
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my aunt was talking to me about this the other day, 'cause my friend's boyfriend takes up all of her time.
do you honestly think that this relationship is going to go on for a loonng time? and even if you do, i know everyone says this, but boyfriends come and go and like... friends are really important.
so just try not to cut them out a ton, but hang out with your boyfriend a lot as well.
maybe have them hang out together with you?
lol, i don't know but good luck. :)
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Technically speaking (and certainly from your friends point of view) it's not a very nice way to be. However, something that a lot of women will understand and something your friends will understand when it happens to them is that when you meet a guy you truly care about and are very happy with, there will be an initial period at least where they get put on the backburner. In fact, that's where pretty much everything goes while you are in what is commonly known as 'the honeymoon period'. This is the stage during which everything can be going wrong. The world can be crashing down around you but you won't notice because you're so happy and loved up!
It's not really something I would call a bad thing because it happens to everyone at one point or other. Your friends just need to realise that you need to get this out of your system and then you will be happier to see more of them (I wouldn't put it in exactly those words though!)
The same thing happened to me. I started going out with my guy three years ago and for around 6 months to a year it was "What friends?!" but now things have evened out a little bit and when they're back from uni, I see them whenever I can.
The best thing I can suggest for now is that you make sure when you aren't with your boyfriend, you spend a good amount of time on the phone to your friends or text or e-mail them. That way you show you haven't totally forgotten them and they won't forget you. So when the honeymoon period is over, you'll still have friends to go back to.
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It's natural, for you to have more fun with you'r boyfriend, because you love him, althought it is best to spend time with friend, because your relationship might not be as good as before. It does sound like your friends are either jealouse, or really miss you. One thing you could do is ask your friends and boyfriend to meet together with you, so you can all hang out, but make sure to pay attention to your friends. :)
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Usually when we get caught up in relationships, we tend to think that nothing else around us matters and you become so attatched because we love the feelings we get when we are in relationships, especially serious ones.
But, the biggest mistake that you can honestly make is to ditch friends and family things for your boyfriend. Your feelings of wanting to be with him constantly are normal, but don't let them take over you. It not only hurts those around you, but it won't be long until the both of you get sick of each other faster and it's harder to get along later on.
Another thing you have to realize is that you can have fun with your friends. No, you can't kiss them or cuddle them like your boyfriend kind of fun, but you can shop, gossip or whatever it is you do that you can't do with your boyfriend. If he doesn't like shopping, go with your friends. Let your girly side come out with your friends and other parts of you that isn't really apart of your relationship. Besides, try going out for a day and come back late at night and you'll see that those exciting feelings you get with your boyfriend is even more intense when you havn't seen him in a while and you miss him.
The point is that you both have to have lives around each other. There has to be your life, and then there's your relationship life. There has to be his life, and his relationship life. If you don't take time off from him to be with your friends, then soon you'll realize that your friends havn't been calling you and without him you're sitting around bored with no life behind your boyfriend.
Even though you may not want to, call a friend and ask her to a movie or something you both like to do. Let her know that you're sorry that you havn't been out that much anymore, but you're geting settled in your relationship and you're coming back out.
-TheTeenGirl
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I seriously hate when friends do this. They're just jealous. Girls do it all the time. Tell them your sorry you haven't spent time with them, maybe make plans like to have a big sleepover or something. They're just being immature, and they'll get over it. =D ♥
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well lucky you, you have cool friends and a great boyfriend. personally i don't think you have to choose between them... you just have to balance it out. it's not wise that you spend so much time with your boyfriend and none with your friends because if anything were to happen (such as you guys breaking up or him moving away or him wanting to spend more time with HIS friends) you wouldn't have much to talk about with your friends and they may even ressent you. I'm not saying to choose your friends completely cause both friends and boyfriends come and go, even the ones that are very important to us. I'm not saying they WILL go, just that you make sure your friends and boyfriend are balance so you'll never have to worry about a what-if (like what if you get into a horrible fight with your friends or they backstab you or what if you and your boyfriend break up or he moves away). Also, your frineds miss you and you need to spend time with them. AND believe it or not it is unhealthy for any relationship to spend too much time with each other and none apart. You need your own time and space every once in a while. Try to set like a girls' night out (no boyfriends or boys or anything). Don't choose one over the other but don't shut neither one out either. They both care about you and you need both of them(your friends AND your boyfriend).
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Its not wrong at all. But you have to think about who will stick around the longest who will actually be there forever. Boyfriends are great but friends last a lifetime. You should talk to your friends && your boyfriend and make a time where your friends and you get to hang out && and a time where you and your boyfriend get to spend time together. If your friends like him why can't you guess hang out together sometimes. So that you get the chance to spend time with your wonderful friends&&your boyfriend
hope i helped.
kimber-
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In my eyes, it's not really. But talk to your friends about it. That's all I think you can really do. Talking is the best way to fix things. I play too much soccer, I never see my friends much these days.. but you have to learn if they're your real friends they'll accept you for having this amazing boy in your life. Just talk to them. If that doesn't work, i don't know what will.
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It's hard when it comes down to choosing between friends and boyfriends. Try and talk to your boyfriend and tell him you love hanging out with him. But think about it, chances are, your friends are going to be there longer than your guy. It's important to balance them both even if you have more fun with your guy. Try and pick certain days of the week for your friends and others for you guy. It's important to keep it all balanced. Good luck!
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