CraziForRey619's advice column | CraziForRey619's Advice About Friendship

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Q: My ex-best friend Hana and I used to be really close, but ever since she went down to visit her cousin (who is pretty slutty herself) she's been acting like the only thing that matters in the world is how good she looks. It was really starting to piss me off, so I told her. She blew it off like it was nothing, which made me angrier. So, now she's started hanging out with two other girls that are known as sluts at our school, and they've really been annoying me. She pretty much dropped me for them, which made me sad. Now since she's found out that her only friends are the other two sluts, she's been trying to be friends with me again. I don't know if I should accept her friendship or not because it really made me angry how she dropped me like that. She hasn't even said sorry... Now since she's been hanging out with those two girls, I haven't talked to her at all. It really makes me sad that we're not friends anymore because we used to be able to tell eachother anything. I've made new friends, but in a way I miss my old one. If you have any advice for me then that would be awesome! Thanks

It's funny, I actually had the same thing happen to me recently. Listen, just brush her off... I wouldn't give her another chance. This is mainly because the same thing happened to me, and she tried to turn ME into who she was... which isn't worth it. I'm sure your new friends will soon take the place of your old one.

Q: 15 f, i have a big group of friends..but they are all guys. we always go to parties together and a lot of them always try to hook up with me i recently broke up with my long term boyfriend and JASON CODY and TERRY asked me out. im worried that if i go out with any of the guys in my group the rest will get cut at me and ditch me.. i really like CODY.. not only is he the youngest in the group (16) but hes the shortest and im the tallest girl in school(5'11)... They are all fighting about it.. i dont know what to do i really like CODY but we look stupid together, it will cause a lot of trouble and i could end up with no friends.. what should i do?

If you like Cody as much as you say you do, it would not matter how stupid you look together. But, since you don't want to ruin your friendships, tell them that. Maybe after awhile they will back off and you can go out with Cody. Besta Luck

Q: Help! I have a friend who thinks i like another friend better when i dont! I like them both the same, they're my bestest friends! She doesnt believe when i say i like them the same.
What can i do to make her believe?
signed-Frustrated Friend

I think you should sit her down and tell her that you DON'T like the other person more than her. Make sure you spend your time with both people evenly. She is probably just jealous that you have other people of importance. Besta Luck

Q: hey,
I have this problem with a guy named Matthew. We have been best friends for over 4 years. Recently we both fell in love with each other. I least I love him. He always wants to mess around and he says it means something. To me it really does. He claims he wants to loose his virginity to me and claims that that would bring us together. Would that actually bring u apart? Help!

I don't think you should have sex with him unless your ready. He might just be playing you to have sex. I would talk to him about it, and see if he is being honest with you. Ask around, see if he tells that to every girl. Besta Luck

Q: our gruop of friends is falling apart.wel we were invited to go to this house party last saturday but only one of us could go my freind .she went and ever since she went she just dropped us hasnt said two words all week.i dont want to lose her as a freind but i cant carry on like this?what can we?anyone got ne ideas.plse reply swn xxxx

I think you should try to organize a night out with "the group" and try to have it like old times. Talk to them about how you feel; they will probably feel the same way. Sometimes, you just have to let them go though. Besta Luck

Q: i think im a really good advice-giver on here. my rating a 4.62. well when my friends come to me for advice i dont really know what to tell them. but when random people ask me advice i no right away a 'solution'. can someone please tell me if this is normal and what i can do to start helpin my friends?

It is normal. When you give advice to other people, you speak your mind, and thats the end of it. Buuutt, when you give advice to your friends, you think of if they would think bad about you because of what you do. I would think about what you say, act like you are giving advice to a random person, and say whats on your mind. If they get offended, just say that they asked for your advice, so you gave it to them. Besta Luck

Q: My friend has just decided that he would like to join the army. I think this is crazy because he is really sensitive and I don't think he could handle it. It doesnt really help matters that I really like like him. I don't want him to go, I'm scared something bad will happen to him or that he'll be killed. I really don't think he should go because of the way he is. What should I say to him to stop him going, I really don't think he would be able to survive it.

Thanx millions for anyone who replies

I don't think you could do anything, except tell him how you feel. Don't keep thinking that "he'll get himself killed", that just makes things worse. Think about how much he would be helping our country. If he joins the army, maybe he has a bravery about him you just haven't seen. Besta Luck

Q: is it wrong that i dont get along, or not really like my best friends boyfriend?..i didnt think of it much, untill i remembered that i didnt like any of the other guys she has talked to before in the past...any advice on this??

It may just be that you are jealous that she is meeting people. Try to get to know them before you say you don't like them. If you REALLY don't like them, tell her. Besta Luck

Q: I wasn't sure what to put this under.. My bestest guy friend told me the other day that he liked me since the day he saw me... I don't know if I could see him that way cuz he is like my best friend and i dont want to hurt our friendship.. All I see him as is a friend... but I dont want to hurt his feelings or make him mad... could someone give me some advice on what i should do?? Thanks in advance!

Just tell him you are flattered that he thought of you that way, but you don't want to risk a great friendship. Besta Luck

Q: okay. well i'm 14 years old and my best friend is a guy. and i do have a boyfriend whom i really love. but my best friend recently has been flirting with me and crap. but i only think of him as a friend and my boyfriend is starting to think i'm cheating on him. i want to tell my friend about what he's doing but i still want to keep him as a best friend...what should i do? how can i tell him to lay off?

Tell your friend that you love your boyfriend, and would really appreciate it if he stopped flirting. Then, convince your boyfriend that you only love him. Besta Luck

Q: Well, see I was at my friend's house and I didn't like my boyfriend at the time so i broke up with him with my friend. I was happy and stuff. But as soon as I broke up with him i felt really bad because I didn't only brake up with him I was mean and rude to him. The next day I talked to him and he said he stayed up the whole night crying and he was praying that I would come back to him. I did go back to him because I relized I did like him and it just took awhile to relize it. So now we are going out again and things are better then ever. Except, I told my best friend and she said alot of things like she said that why did you brake up with him if you didn't like him. I said I didn't like him at the time and it just took me awhile to relize it. Also she said alot of guys like me because I am "Hott" but she said by the way you aren't. That got me mad 1 because not all the guys like me because I am "Hott" they like me for other reason also. And 2 because how could by best friend say that to me that I am not pretty. I was mad and I don't know why she said that. What should I do? She also said alot more and she wasn't to happy. I think she is mad at me now and I don't know what to do?? Help!

She was probably jealous that she isn't "hot" and can't get a man. I think you should either get over that bitch, or tell her that you think she needs to stop her whining. Besta Luck

Q: this is kinda long so bear with me! :)

a lot of the friends i made were from middle school and we've been friends throughout high school. the thing is, they were a-ok people in middle school. but when high school rolls around it appears that they've changed into hypocritical, outspoken, dramatic, and selfish people. don't get me wrong, i'm not exaggerating nor am i taking things out of context. if you met them, you'd know! take for example a girl who makes fun of the fat people in our school, when she weighs 200 lbs. a girl who complains and whines over an A- on a test. someone who cannot accept the fact that they are wrong. someone who doesn't make any effort for your birthday, or christmas, when every year you get them something.

because of their "new" personality traits, i dropped them because they did not fit my basic ideal aspects in a friend anymore. and whenever i find a new friend, in the end they end up betraying my trust, using me for money, or being just plain inconsiderate to a point that i cannot tolerate anymore.

note, this has happened with nearly 95% of the friends i've had my entire lifetime...

i'm not a bad person for them to be obligated to do such things, but i do admit that i can be a little too trusting and naive at times. is that what they're taking advantage of, or is there something else...? why would they do this to me?

also, because these experiences have given me a new perspective on friendships (not to trust people so easily!), how do i know if i can fully trust someone and that they will be a good friend???

I think you shouldn't rush into friendships so fast. I know it sounds wierd, but try to get to know what kind of person they are. I'm not saying do a full backround check and see their records, but just see if they are 1. hanging with what you consider "the right crowd" and 2. they are someone who you could trust. After you decide that, just build up on the friendship. I know that I can't trust someone unless i've known them for awhile. And about the last part, you know you can fully trust someone when they don't talk about you behind your back, aren't hypocritical, don't hang out with the wrong people, aren't broke and always asking for money, and the list will always continue. Try to open up you mind of what you consider a good friend, because there is probably someone who meets those standards right infront of you. Besta Luck

Q: this may sound very goody goody but.. i am so sick of everyone doing drugs and drinking.. not that im completely innocent i mean ive done it before but it seems like right now every single person is into that and half of them are doing it to forget about problems.. now i did learn about drugs and i did learn that weed can actually make depression worse and i also know that after youve done weed for a while your wanting to try a new drug so what do i do.. i hate it that my friends do drugs and drink and dont tell me to forget about them and get new friends because i love my friends.. and also.. everyone in my school does it.. whether you want to believe that or not is up to you.. but really.. the ones that dont are like .. messiahs or something.. please help
*stonecoldmystery*

I think that some people SAY they drink and do drugs for the attention. Not everyone at your school is that bad. I think you should talk to your friends and TELL them that it bothers you. Besta Luck

Q: i was good friends with these 2 girls and they have been friends too. we would always hang out together..all friends, all happy. but lately they leave me out. like, they'll have each other over and put away messages up on AIM saying it. we were all supposed to see a movie together, then they went w/o me. its alomost like they do it on purpose. most people are saying i just need to drop them and get new friends, but when they do include me we have a lot of fun. i just get so confussed and mixed signals. please help (im 14, by the way)

I think you should just drop them. I'm sure alot of people would be happy to have you as a friend, and not take advantage of you. Besta Luck

Q: You see my best friend has this boy bofreind right. And to me she is spending way more time with him then me. Thats the only person she talks about to. I have been her best friend since the 4th grade he just been her bf for a couple of months. What should I do?

Tell her that it bothers you. Maybe try to invite her places like the mall/movies more often and tell her you want it to be just you two. Maybe she is just scared that if she spends less time with him he will break up with her. Just talk to her about it. Besta Luck

Q: This is sortof long but please!!!

Ok i have this EX friend Rachael. She hangs out with William and Laura. We aren't good friends but we used to be best friends. But one day we got in a big fight and got back together. It hapened 3 more times. Then just last week William told me that Laura recorded me on her phone saying that Rachael is a b@#$% but i only called her that when i didnt like her. i asked Laura but she said she didnt.. And Rachael is like going around telling peoeple bull about me and telling people to stay away. She is just so ARGH!! i don't want anythig to do with her, but shes in my french class and she always sets her infront of me. I JUST HATE RACHEAL!!! how the heck can i get her out of my friggin life? as well as Laura and William

Whenever your in French class, just act like she doesn't exists and that you have bigger and better problems to solve. Eventually she will get the point and leave you alone. As for the rumors, there isn't much you can do except wait for it all to blow ova. Besta Luck

Q: i have a friend who is always complaining of being fat, but she isnt and she always says that no guys like her or will ever like her and all that is not true. she is a great girl and i love her to death. what can i tell her to make her realize that she is fine the way she is and someday she will find someone it is just a matter of time?

Just tell her that she is not fat and that she will eventually find someone in a matter of time. Or you could just tell her that it bugs you when she says stuff that isn't true. Besta Luck

Q: i just told one of my best friends kelly im bi and now she is acting weird around me. I imed her and shes like ummm hi and im like whats wrong and then she says well idk how to act around u anymore, and im really hurt, she treats me like im not wanted, not intentional, but it still hurts, what do i do be honest

Tell her that just because your bi doesn't mean that it should change things. Maybe she feels that you like her in a different way now. Besta Luck

Q: ok here's my story..see there;s this girl Danielle, danielle and i are like best friends and we have beemn for the past 4 years now..but my mom (who is btw VERY over-protective and judgemental.lol) REEEEALLY doesnt like Danielle and hates it when i hang t with her.. and this is often.. everytime Danielle is over my house my mom treatsher like crap...like she wont axctually treat her like crao but she treats my other friends WAY nicer).... so my mom doesnt understand that my life is SO much harder bcuz of her.. she hates my BFF and always tells me who i can or cant hang out with..what should i do to make my mom realize that im mature enought to pick my own friends.. i love my mom and eben trie dtellign her that i WOULD waaay rather her jsut nvr talk to me again!!! lol she totaly doesnt understand me..what should i do?!!??! xo Ari

Try asking her why she doesn't like Danielle. If it takes her awhile to reply, just tell her that she is your best friend and nothing is going to change that so she really needs to get over it. Try to say it nicely, but in a way so she understands that you are serious. Besta Luck

Q: my best friend keri was a goody good person and this year this kid started to like her and hes the only one who ever gave her attention so she wont let go of him and he made her do really bad in school and now she has to go to a private highscool and her moms mad mean to her and shes been grounded and so now she dont even care and is bad all the time and her mom told me and our other bestfirned she dont want her hanging out with us only goody goddy people and keri dont even care anymore because her mom never keeps her word so if she keeps doing bad like she is her mom really wont let her hang out with us and i dont know what to do i want her to be good with out makin it seem like im lecturin her

Just tell her how you feel. If she is a true friend, she would understand. Don't make it seem like you are mad or anything, but just that you care. Besta Luck

bio

Hey! My name is CoCo. I *normally* know how to answer a question without getting *too* offensive. My answers may seem kind of rude though, but I try to just be as nice as possible. If you got a question you would like me to try to answer...umm...just ask me? You can Instant Message me on AIM if you want my advice, I'm normally on. Hope I help you alittle.