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in a rut...?
this is kinda long so bear with me! :)
a lot of the friends i made were from middle school and we've been friends throughout high school. the thing is, they were a-ok people in middle school. but when high school rolls around it appears that they've changed into hypocritical, outspoken, dramatic, and selfish people. don't get me wrong, i'm not exaggerating nor am i taking things out of context. if you met them, you'd know! take for example a girl who makes fun of the fat people in our school, when she weighs 200 lbs. a girl who complains and whines over an A- on a test. someone who cannot accept the fact that they are wrong. someone who doesn't make any effort for your birthday, or christmas, when every year you get them something.
because of their "new" personality traits, i dropped them because they did not fit my basic ideal aspects in a friend anymore. and whenever i find a new friend, in the end they end up betraying my trust, using me for money, or being just plain inconsiderate to a point that i cannot tolerate anymore.
note, this has happened with nearly 95% of the friends i've had my entire lifetime...
i'm not a bad person for them to be obligated to do such things, but i do admit that i can be a little too trusting and naive at times. is that what they're taking advantage of, or is there something else...? why would they do this to me?
also, because these experiences have given me a new perspective on friendships (not to trust people so easily!), how do i know if i can fully trust someone and that they will be a good friend???
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
it's great that you are a trusting person but don't be in such a rush to give people stuff and if you lend someone money don't give them a large amount and make sure they pay you back. If you feel like they aren't giving you the respect you deserve, then go make some new friends. You seem like a really caring person and you really shouldn't be taken advantage of, but there are some shallow people out there and unfortunatly, they care too much about themselves to think of how selfish they've become. My advice, stay sweet, and look around for a new group of people to hang with. High school is a big place and even though it may notseem like it, there are some people who aren't completly 2 faced and I'm sure you can find some people you connect with. Just stay true to yourself and everything will be good.
xO LiSa*
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I think you shouldn't rush into friendships so fast. I know it sounds wierd, but try to get to know what kind of person they are. I'm not saying do a full backround check and see their records, but just see if they are 1. hanging with what you consider "the right crowd" and 2. they are someone who you could trust. After you decide that, just build up on the friendship. I know that I can't trust someone unless i've known them for awhile. And about the last part, you know you can fully trust someone when they don't talk about you behind your back, aren't hypocritical, don't hang out with the wrong people, aren't broke and always asking for money, and the list will always continue. Try to open up you mind of what you consider a good friend, because there is probably someone who meets those standards right infront of you. Besta Luck
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lots of people change in highschool, i have had some of the same experiances as you...my best friend used to be one of the nicest people i know and now she is selfish, stuckup and greedy, even my parents think so...i had to tell her what i thought of her and she didnt take it so well and we are not friends anymore but i eralized that i am better off without her...its really hard to tell if you can trust somebody or not unless you become friends with them and find out...you have to use your judgement on which people seem like they could become a good friend to you....hope i helped in some way... <33 ~danni
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well i think that you should tell you friends that they arent the same people and that they arent being themselves. if they are truly ur friends then they will come to their sences and be normal and if it doesnt work then i suggest that you try to make a real one.
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hey hun... I'm kind of in the same situation.... that is good you dropped those friends so you don't start acting that way.. As soon as they seen what they have lost with their immaturity they will come running back (hopefully) Yes i am way to trusting and it sounds like you are the same way.. when you meet someone new don't just throw yourself at them, that makes them think that they have complete control over you.. if everytime their with you and they want something, I mean the same thing over and over again.. Their not really true friends. If they come over just to hang out with you and spend time with you and not ask you for money or anything else like that... thats who you know are you true friends... they will stick by you no matter what happens... you will realize when you have a best friend... when you find one don't let him/her slip out of grip becasue that would be the biggest mistake of your life... well good luck hun and I hope everything works out for you if you have ne more questions my email is babygurl_1099@hotmail.com or you can write a question in my inbox
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Hey. I know how you feel. I have never in my life had a best friend and I still don't til' this day! But I have 3 best friends and I didn't imediately trust them. They had to show me that they could be trusted. And now we all trust eachother, respect each other and we all just have a storng unbreakable bond.
But, before any friendship you have can be like that, you have to take your time and get to know the person. Don't rush into things. It's just like a relationship with the opposite sex. Before you fully trust that person you have to get to know them.
Before, I was like you. Jumping from friend to friend, trying to find one that would actually respect me for who I am(what I believe to be a good person). So don't ever stop looking until you find that person or those people who you can call "friend".
!!!$+@y $+r0n9!!!
P.S.:
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I have a best friend and i love her so much sometimes i feel like i dont trust her but i know that she will never lie to my or tell anyone my secrets so you just have to feel like that is a good enough person to trust and if u cant trust them make it so they cant trust you
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