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Hmm.. What kind of advice can I give? Any kind you'd like. Advice on relationships (all types) Getting out of trouble(my specialty) Sarcasim is always fun.
Giving advice is something I do best, I'll awnser any question you'd like, unless they're stupid and extremely pointless ones.
About me?- I like playing basketball, I'm still in Highschool, doing things that will get me in trouble, but always being good enough to get out of it.
My friends mean the world to me, without them I don't know what'd I do.
I could go on, but I don't think I will.
Anyways, if you do ask me questions, try to hold back on tYpInG lyK diZ N sTuFf alright. Other than that Anything you want to know I'll do my best to help with :)
advice
Hey, my dad past away May 2004. This past year has been the hardest year of my life. I'm worried about myself because i was a hard core christian before my dad died and now i feel like im loosing faith because im mad at God for taking my dad from me! In youth last wednesday, our minister said that god is there through all your problems, im just really confused because he is the reason i have this problem! I know God does everything for a reason but i still cant seem to forgive and i feel like im going far away from him when i need him the most! What can i do to get back my awesome relationship with God?
Thanx!!!
The only thing that I think you can do is talk to Him. I know you probably have already tried that.. and this may sound cheesy, but I mean tell Him that you're angry. God does do everything for a reason, and He has a great plan for your father up in heaven. He doesn't want you to lose faith, this should bring you closer to him... if it were me, I would honestly probably lose faith too. Be totally honest with him, and when you pray, don't hold your anger that you have for Him back, because he already knows how you're feeling. Also, if your church is having a camp or something like that soon, that will DEFINATLY help. I too, was losing my faith in God for various troubles I couldn't seem to get past or understand why I was being put through them. The only thing I can tell you is to be totally far out honest with Him when you pray. And if by chance there is a church camp type of thing coming up, I promise you that will help you a lot. Keep reading the bible, and working to keep your faith. It probably won't happen anytime too soon, but if you work to re-build your relationship with God, it'll come back soon enough. I'm really sorry to hear about your dad, and you're in my prayers.
I just found out that my dad has lung cancer and things are not looking good. he lives 2 hours away and I am 24 with a family of my own but I was just wondering: What are some positive, inspirational, and supportive things I can say to get him through this time no matter what the outcome...how can I help him through this? I have so much passion and emotion inside and I know what to say in my head, but I am so bad at expressing how I feel in the moment. This is the one time in my life where it's extremely important to say and do things right, but I still seem to only cry when I'm alone or think of good things to say only AFTER a situation. I feel I'm not being what I want to be for him to my full potential. Thank you to anyone who can help!!
First off, I'd like to say that I'm soo sorry to hear that. Right now there's no right words to say, YOU alone, and not your words will be his only inspiration at this time. His family is all that's probably going to be keeping him going at this point and time. Enjoy doing hobbies with him, enjoy his company. By doing that you'll be making his time on this Earth all worth while, and a very happy man. If you keep him happy, and in high spirits, I beleive it will make all the diffrence in his road to recovery, no matter how far that recovery will go. Think positive at all times, and try not to acknowledge that he really might be dying. That seems like the wrong advice in times like this, of course acknowledge it, but don't let it keep you from doing things with him that he'd want to do. By making him feel llike he's still the same man, it'll help keep him going. He's now at a point in his life, where the main thing he probably wants to do is spend time with the ones he loves. That's the best thing to do in this time. And if the subject of his cancer does come up, keep nothing but positive things about it. Show him how much he means to you, and it'll make all the difference. I really do hope good things turn out for you in this situations, your dad will be in my prayers.
ok, my parents, dont smoke..or say they dont. when theyre in their room, and they leave and let me go in there..it smells horrible..like smoke, but not cigarette smoke. ive been to a concert...and smelled mostly everything there is to be smoked, and one of the smells is what i smell in my parents room. last year i was looking for presents around xmas(hehe) and i had heard of looking in btween the bed and the mattress, so i tried there. i found a couple of baggies with something in them..and no it wasnt a cd or anything.. well everyonce inawhile, i see a pipe stickin out from under the bed.the othr nite it finally hit me what the smell was..pot..so jus a second ago, i went in(theyre not home) and lifted up the matress, what do i find?the pipe i saw, and some baggies with the same stuff. so i went to freevibe.com to see what it could b..and i think it is pot. if they are, i need them to tell me, even though i noe that wont happen. if they are i wanna get out of the house and go stay with my aunt. the thing is, i love my parents, and theyre BOTH sunday school teachers.do u think they are? and if they are..how can i stop it or let them realize i know?
Yeah so it's probably pot. If you love your parent's then don't leave them over something like that. It's just pot, there are a ton of worse things they could be doing in this world. It's weird that they'd be doing it and they're Sunday School teachers. Well, of course the only way to get them to confess, is by showing them the evidence with you. That way they can't deny it, it's under THEIR bed. Then the only thing that would be left to do is tell them that you want them to quit. That's all you really can do. It can only be their choice, and just let them know how much it'd mean to you if they stopped. But seriously, don't go live with your aunt, that could cause some SERIOUS problems for your parents. Smoking pot doesn't make them bad people. If you go to live with your aunt one, CPS could be called, which is just NO good. You don't want that by any means. Or two, your whole family could trash them and cause hardships on them, they coudl lose their jobs. Just before you do that, think about it. It's a serious matter when you want to leave for something like that. But yes, show them the evidence, tell them you're not stupid, and ask them to stop and be willing to back them up if they want to.
I cant stand my family anymore .. I just got into a bad car accident a couple days ago on this one road where someone before me wrecked n died so i was lucky i made it.. well i came home n layed down on the sofa n my mom told me to sit up .well i was n pain and she didnt care she didnt even wanna leave work to come see me n my stepdad told me he didnt care i got into accident. i dont wanna be here anymore my mom wont even talk to me she just walks away..
That's awful. I can't imagine what the feeling must be like. Your parents should realize how greatful they should be that you're still able to SIT on your sofa, and you're still alive...Now, of course talking to them would be the best solution, but sometimes that just doesn't cut it, and nothing will change. If they're being so inconsiderate, then you yourself might want to take the initiative to leave, and then let them realize what life without you would be like. There's no excuse for the way they're treating you. If you feel you need to leave, or want to leave, you should do so by all means for a little while. Let them know why you're leaving and hope that'll change something fast. I'm glad you made it out alright, you seem lucky to be alive. Hopefully they'll realize the mistake they've made, or how ungreatful they were if you walk out on them. Hope things get better for you!!
Hey I am sixteen and I know that I have an advice colum but I really need help? Ok look ever since I was ten my mom was realy mean to my dad they whould argue and he left then she treated me so badly that my aunt and uncle had to move in with us. They thought she was better but she still whould not do anything with or for me she whouldn't even come to my party or take me to get school stuff my sisters diod it. And ok this same exact thing happend about 8 or 9 times since then and she still won't do anything but the only time my dad tells her that something is wrong with her is when she gets paranoid and thinks he is cheating What do I do do I get out of this stupid sicle let my dad be missrable or do I yell untill he listens wicth will not work but will u please help me please
Your situation seems tough, I don't really understand it much, but it's a little like mine. My mom, whom I love to death, won't bend over backwards or go out of her way to do anything in that sort of way for me. I mean sure, she'll give me money, but she's RUDE to me, she puts me down 24/7 to make herself feel better. She would never attend a basketball game, she wouldn't even go to my baptizim, all becuase she wanted her beer. The thing is though, there's nothing you really can do about it. The only way you'll be able to escape, is if you leave. Your dad is a grown man, he'll be able to handle what he can on his own, he chooses to stay there, he in no way has to. It's all just a matter of if you really want to leave her or not, or if you want to leave that. It's useless telling your mom how you feel, for me anyways, she won't listen. The only people who can make them change is themselves. You just gotta make a decision as to whether or not you're willing to wait on her. I know it's hard, but don't just think about the negatives, and the things your mom does to you, or how she hurts you. If you want to leave, think about the whole perspective. Your life outside away from your mom, your friends, and the life you've created their, and how much you could be without @ the moment. If any of that just made sense, basically, just don't forget to look @ how much worse it could actually be.
grr.. its soo annoying. My dad always lets people we dont even know like stay in our house and in our room. I guess we get involved with that through our church and stuff.. but ne way my mom does bible study and of course all the lazy people have to make it at our house every week. And they come early too! It stresses my mom out but she insists it doesnt bother her... and now my dads lending my laptop out to somebody for a week... and my regular comp like died on me and doesnt work... i need my laptop and he wont even give up his and my moms... no b/c hes not suffering cause he doesnt even use the computer. He always says hes helping people but than he spares me.... and everytime I try to confront him he gaves me an attitude and says Im not loving or sharing or giving or something like that. And I am all these things.. but common! You can let someone borrow like a T-shirt, a fruit bowl, but you dont lend your LAPTOP.... and also its really annoying cause during finals month I had stupid people I didnt know staying in my house... 8 people... who at 10 o clock at night were screaming at their little kids... while i was trying to rest up. And also they had a 6 month old... and this hasnt been the 1st or last time... at least he hasnt done that recently.. but giving up my laptop. Put it this way nothings mine is this house... I own not one thing... my room... FORGET IT! I dont own it.. b/c I dont have the last say in what happens with it or who uses it. How the hell do i end the torture... I own nothing in my life.. the only thing I have control over is my actions. Im not a control freak but i would like a bit of control... help if you can.. but give it some thought b/c I really need some HONEST SERIOUS MAJOR HELP.
Really, I don't think your dad is going to give you much respect out of this. He thinks he's doing somethign good, helping people out and stuff like that. He doesn't think about your feelings and how it's effecting you. The only thing you really can do is try to get him to see that he's putting other people before you. And Talk to him... you don't have to be like dad "I want this to stop all otgether" but maybe if you just told him to cut it down a little bit, especially during the important times that you need some quiet. As for him lending out your lab top, I doubt he'd change his mind but that is going somewhat overboard. Talk to your mom about it, maybe if your father isn't listening to you, she will...and since they're married and both adults and all of that, maybe he'd take in to consideration about what she says...
about 5 years ago my grandmother died from lung cancer. before i was born my grandfother also dies from lung cancer. about 6 years ago my other gradfather died from pancreas cancer. Now when i see my father smoking and my friend chris smoking and drinking it worries me that they will leave me soon. I constanly cry when chris talks about getting blazed and my father smokes because i dont want the same thing to happen to them. then i just stand on the side lines and feel like i cant do anything about it. is there anything i can do to help them or not make it so hurtful for me to be around them?
It will probably be hard to get them to stop, they're both addicted to it. The only thing you can really do is ask them to stop, and maybe take them to a place where they show people what smoking does to their lungs, it probably won't make them quit, but it'll make them think.
The only thing you can do is keep encouraging them to quit, I think you'll have a better shot with Chris on helping him out, he's stil young and probably not as addicted, and parents are stubborn.
But DON'T stop encouraging them to quit!! Eventually, they'll hopefully listen.
my mom is getting married to this guy whos really kool except he like flirts with me and comes on to me. he says stuff like hey sexy, hey cutie, hey pretty girl, and stuff like that and its really uncomfortable.. should i just let it go?
Oh DEFINATLY not. If he's saying things like "hey sexy" he's taking it way too far. Definatly you should tell your mom, and let her know how uncomfortable that makes you feel whenever he says things like that. If you think he'll ever try to take it a step further definatly do something about it. This is the man that your mom is going to marry! Him saying something like that isn't being flattering,that's taking it too far.
ok well me and my boyfriend were talking about some funny stuff (but there were some dirty parts too about what we would do when i saw him **he lives kinda far away**) but yea anywayz so i emailed them to myself to save them...and one day i went to watch some band and i left my aol on so my mom got on and she read my emails, so now im by my friends house and was checking them and they said they were read already so im not quite sure she did...but im pretty positive..im so scared i might get in trouble or of what she'l do or think about me, or that she wont trust me anymore and think im some kind of slut..what should i do?
If your does read something like it, the best thing to do...blame it on someone else. Say it was a friend who doesn't have the internet and was talking to their boyfriend at your house, and you couldn't IMAGINE of saying that sort of thing. But make sure the friend isn't a close one, maybe a neighbor or soemthing..hopefully she wouldn't go say anything to his mom. After that, start yelling at her for even thinking you could wrtie stuff lke that and how dissapointed you are that she doesn't trust you and you thought you had her trust ect. And of course then you can go for the whole "invasion of privacy act" that's always a good one too. Next time don't forget to delete your e-mail..if you want to save it.. save it in your computer somewhere where your mom would never check.
OK..growing up I rarely saw my mom and dad hug or kiss.Last year they were thinking of divorcing and it was a really sad time for me. They arent divorced and they are working on their marriage. Problem is..they are like horny teenagers and it sickens me to see them make out and slobber in front of me. Last night we were at a drive up window and they started making out passionatly right there! What can I do to express that im happy for them..but to please do that STUFF in private!? Thanks for the help..i rate generously!
Oh man, I had the same problem when my mom was with her boyfriend. The best thing to do is make it noticed that when they do stuff like that it makes you sick. Tell them if they want to do that, it's fine, just don't do it while you're around. And when you tell them how you feel, make sure they know you're serious. Try not to smirk about it, or give dirty faces, just witha serious look tell them that it really does make you feel sick and it's just something you don't want to see. If you're not serious, they won't take you serious.
I am twenty one years old and have been married for over a year. My husband and I recently discovered that we are pregnant. Though it wasnt planned, we are both very excited and happy about it. So is everyone else... my friends, my family, even my mom. Everyone, except for my father.
When I told him the news, he was completely shocked, which I could understand. I called a few days ago to see how he's doing, and he said some very mean things that made me pretty upset. I dont understand this reaction, because he also got married and started a family at a young age.
Its been about two weeks since we broke the news to him, and he just seems to be sad and disappointed in me.
I just want my dad to accept this and to be happy for us, but at the same time I dont understand why I am so strongly seeking his approval.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
I think he will be in time. There are a few things that might be causing this unaccepting towards the situation thing. One, he might be insecure about himself. He's getting up in the age and realizing that he has a grandchild on the way just might not being helping him cope with it. Therfore, hes' going to show remorse and anger for it, not becuase of you, but because of him. Another thing, you said he started a family young, maybe there's things about your family's past that you might not know about.. like, whenver you where born maybe it was a major struggle to get on their feet and he doesn't want to see it happen to you. The best thing you can do is talk to him, ask him what part about it you don't like. You're an adult, married, so you can make your own desisions. If you talk to him maybe ask him what's the source of why he's not up for it, ask him a few questions, if he still doesn't come around, or it just ends up in another fight, the I'd back off until he accepted it. He's your father so he can't stay like that forever, and I'm sure your family won't allow him to either. I hope things work out for you, congratulations on your expectations I'm sure you'll be great parents, and I'm sure your dad will come around eventually, once he can learn to deal with what's going on with himself. (Or whatever the source may be)
my grandma loves me but she loves my other cuzin more and it shows they have like a great relationship and me and my grama dont talk that mutch she always kids around and says o this is my favorite grndaughter and she is not talking about me i just feel so bad because ahe might not be around that much anymore shes pretty old and i want her to love me as much as my other cuzins.What should i do?
Alright, I don't think your grandmother would ever want to come off like that. I don't know if this is your case, but maybe.. Maybe your grandparents spend more time with them, she's more comfortable around them perhaps. That is how it goes in my family, my little cousin is the odd-man out.. mainly becuase her parents are divorced so she doesn't get to be around as much. But I know my grandmother loves her just the same.
So, it's probably not that she doesn't love you any less than them, it's just that she's not as close with you as them, which yes, it can sometime hurt I'm sure. But the best thing to do is reach out to her, it'll probably be one of the best feelings to her in the world to know she's wanted by her grandchild.
my cousins have both had a lot of trouble with drugs and addiction. i am very scared they will die and i always cry when i talk about it. I get so sad and i dont no what to do, my emotions are taking me over!
Alright, my cousin had the same problem, babe there's really nothing you CAN do. The only way they'll stop is if they're ready, which most of the time only comes up when they have a RUDE awakening call. But the best thing you can do is encourage them both to try stopping, try to get them to go do things with you, keep them busy so they won't have time to do those things.
On another note depending on how old you are, maybe you should talk to someone old enough to deal with something like this, but you could... on ceartain occausains if your cousins are over 18 that means they're old enough to make their own desisions. HOWEVER, you can go to a judge and do something, I'm not quite sure what, but he can put them in a drug rehabilitation place for that kinds of things. Now, if they're under 18,and you're really scard that they might die from it...TELL their parents.... it won't be a bad thing to do, you'll be saving thier lives. And their parents can more than likley do somethign about it.
i dont live with my dad.my dad is mad at me.I dont want anything to do with him anymore. his friend tim from highschool is his best friend. and he is afraid to stick up 4 me. heres the story.... tims daughter (chelsey) and i have known eachother for 12 years.. just recently, we got in a BAD HUGE FIGHT. bad language was involved. and i got blamed for everything that we both said. and i told my dad its not fair that i have to get punished 4 somehting we both did. so he said he was gonna do something to me. so i refused to go with him. and my mom is stickin up 4 me.she is the only one i have. and like 3 days ago i got a call from my dad. he was tellin me i got grounded and i didnt. he told me to stay off the internet. he also asked y i said i hated chelsey and didnt want to be her friend any more. and i said i hate chelsey cuz the things she does to me. and i also told him i didnt want anything to do with him and he got mad at me and called me names. he also said im never welcome in his house anymore. he told me he would get me someday and hurt my mom.. what should i do? i have no clue. i dont want anyhting to do with my dad he gets into trouble with the law and i dont want anything to do with that or him. i think he hates me and i dont trust him anymore.. what should i do? this girl chelsey has also been tryin to be my friend but i dont want to be friends with her. she is also telling everyone she hates me and all her other friends filled my hole. now i hate her. im so confused and my dad makes my life miserable!!! help me please!
~Confused~
13,female
Well, one, your father shouldn't be threatning your family.
You could get him into serious trouble for saying something like he did. If you don't want to see him, that's fine. But don't forget that he IS your father, and that he does have rights to see you..maybe? Unless your mom has FULL custodiy your dad can do something, he can go the courts and say that your mom is not giving him time with you...ect. He can lie. If he's making threats like that, I would definatly do something about it. As for your friend Chelsea, how is she getting off so freely about everything that went on? She needs to fess up to her wrong doings too. Someone should also tell your father that FRIENDS FIGHT, the best thing he could have done is just stay out of it. But @ the same time.. you say you hate her, 12 years is A LONG TIME, do you really want to let it all go on this one fight? If you do, I'm sure there's a good reason, but try to look past all the hate you have for her and try and remember why you were friends with her for 12 years. If you can't think of a good reason, then it's probably best ya'll don't talk.
A week after fathers day my dad punched my brother and my brother socked him back. Eventually the whole family tried to get my fathers fat ass off my brother. I slapped my dad and he hit my bro again, then when his arm came back, it hit me in my head and knocked me out. When i woke up my friend was right there and screaming at me to get up. My bro had run away. I ran outside just in time to see where he was going then i was knocked out again. I felt my moms arms around me and she lifted me up. I wiped my bloody face and ran to my house sreaming :get that son of a bitch the fuck out of my house!" When i saw my dad, his tooth was knocked out and his face was bloody. I told him to get the fuck out of my house and he said he'll leave when he wants too. I started crying again and fell to the floor. My dad didn't give a shit about me. He just fucking stood there.
I found out where my bro went and grabbed car keys. I fired up the engine and my stepdad came out and opened the door. My friend hopped in the back seat and i went in the front. We went and got my brother. He picked me up and started hugging me. We had never hugged before, because we weren't as close as we are now.
I have to get dental stuff and now my dad wants to pay for everything. I know im gonna have to see him cause he has to sign papers. I don't know what to do. Plz help!!!!
signed,
helpless
My gosh, that's extremely sad, I'm so sorry to hear about that. Well, if you're only 11 then it's something your MOM should have to deal with. They shouldn't force you to see him after what he did to you, not if you don't want to. But how are you handling everything that happend? Keep me posted, and if you need anyone to talk to about this sort of thing, don't hesitate to ask me questions, I've been sort of in the same type of situation. But i'm soo sorry, I hope everything works out for you.
well my dad and me where never close and when my parents spilt up i went with my mom i want to see my dad agian but i dont know how to act around him should i hate him or should i be nice? He told me he never loved me and i dont understand how you cant love your child..
One, your father more than likley regrets ever saying such cruel things to you. Don't hate him for it either, it would be like... in a sense doing what he did. In alot of cases after this, the problem might not get solved, because men, specially men who are older like your father, are too proud to admit when they've done something wrong, or said something they shouldn't have. So you wil have to be the one to take action adn try to win him back. It will be a slow slow process, but ultimatly in the end, worth it.
I have a stepmother, her name is anne. She's only 15 years older than me, and my dad is 17 years older than her! I hate her, but i'm still nice to her...She's bothering me!!!! She pretends to be my mom, and i dont want people to think that! I wana tell my dad that he should divorce her, but how? I also have to say that she doesn't know how to drive, and only earns $14 dollars per hour at her new job! And my dad only married her bcus he was alone at the house (I was with my mom) and was afraid if something happened to him, no1 would call the police.
Well, don't tell your dad you want him to get a divorce just because you don't like her. But tell him how she makes you feel. Tell him that she's not your mother and you don't really want her to treat you as "her child." This is probably going to hurt her feelings no matter what you do.. if I knew how old you were and how old she was then it would help out a little bit more.But really, he more than likley won't divorce his new wife because you told him he should. i know you're his kid, but things just don't work out that way sometimes.If she makes him feel more secure about himself, then you should just let him be happy... not to take away your happiness of course, try and make sacrifices, talk it over with BOTH of them.
Agh my parents are REALLY overprotective! And it sucks cause I can hardly go anywhere with my friends. I mean I can go out to like the mall and shops but idk and another thing is like i have NO way to get me to places my mom doesnt drive my dad works frum 630 am - 530 pm..and i can never have friends over..it just sucks cause shes ruining my life..im only 14 but i hate always havin my parents around.And everytime I talk to her about it she laughs she doesnt take me seriously. what can i do? And also its summer time here ->* What are sum fun things to do in the summer time with friends?
With your mom, gain her trust, tell her what you're doing and what time you'll be b ack, and then even while you're there call and check in just to let her know what you're doing. Now getting there is a little more difficult. Maybe find someone who can drive and set something up with them, like tell them if they can take you some places sometimes you'll pay her/him money to drive you places. Something like that, or have friends pick you up.
Recently i got kicked out of my house for not wanted to stay home and i am claimed to not do much for my family.. I believe i help out a little bit but everything that i have ever done has never been enuff for them.But i dont wanna get "kicked out" again. I must also note that i am under age and not old enuff to get kicked out. I wanna be able to go out and have fun but my parents dont understand that and i wanna make a compromise.. i jus dont know what to do!
Well these situations are difficult because in these cases it's often the parent's who aren't listening. Maybe go out of your way to do something for them. Spotless up the entire house and let them know with actions that you want to be there. Tell them that by doing this, going out for a while shouldn't be a problem, and let them earn your trust to go out. Tell them when, where, who's there what time you'll be home ect.The more of their trust you have, the better off you are to do the things you want. If that doesn't work then your parent's are probably trying to make your life a living hell and they're doing quite nicley at it. But for a week or so just go all out and push to gain some respect by your parent's.