Hey everyone!
I'm usually that friend everyone goes to for advice. (I'm also the one who gives good advice but doesn't apply it to herself, lol.) Whether I've been in your shoes, or know little of your situation I'll answer honestly and truthfully. I'm here to help.
Some background info for you guys: My parents are divorced. My mother's remarried. I have two older sisters, one with two boys. I'm a Senior in High School.
So go ahead, ask away!
Gender: Female
Location: Paradise ^-^
Occupation: Accounting Clerk
Age: 17
Member Since: July 3, 2012
Answers: 94
Last Update: December 5, 2015
Visitors: 7101
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I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help. (link)
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Hey there,
First of all, if that were cheating then everyone cheats. It's normal to want a second opinion and talk about it. Sometimes that's the only way we can come to a decision. If your talking to a guy pal made him "not be in love with you" (which is bull, you don't fall in and out of love like that.) then he wasn't in love to begin with. Love can forgive lots of things, I've seen it happen. I don't believe in soul mates, but I do understand your point. If it'll make you feel better, apologize for talking about it with another pal and explain why you did it (a second neutral opinion). If he doesn't forgive you, let it go and move on. You don't need to forgive yourself, as you did nothing wrong. He apparently thinks you did, so let him be mad at nothing.
Best of luck!
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hey i an from Limpopo.im in a new relationship.me n my bf we a naw datin for 1month n 3days.i love my bf so much n i try to make him happy but dat doesnt hide de fact dat my bf is still inlove wth his ex who has died.wen he need me i go n be wth him.on saturday it was his bdae n i made a suprise party for him n i invited his friends n ada gals.he was very happy n i was happy to see him happy.but dat dae at nyt he said i shuld not leave i shuld sleep ova n i did so.he started talking abt his ex who died n his ex was buried on saturday on his bdae.he told me dat he is over her n he dnt luv her anymore but his actions was telling me another story.he evn cried for his ex infront of me n didnt wt tu du or wat to say.my heart was heavy wen he was kissing me he suddenly stopped n he said he cant.yesterdae he removed de status on watsap he wrote abt me n write dat he love his ex n he change a profile pic n put his ex.i cried alone n my hurt was heavy realising dat im truly,madly n deeply inlove wth him.what do i have to do? (link)
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Hey there.
It's hard to beat the competition when she's dead, huh? I say you give him time. Take a break, break up or whatever you like to call it. He's obviously not over her, and if it hurts you so much to see him like that the best thing is to keep your distance. I mean it, block him off everywhere except for your phone so he can text or call in case of an emergency but don't stalk his social media or torture yourself while reading about his ex. Just stay away, do your own thing. In that time apart, he'll have time to get over his ex and maybe realize his feelings for you, and you'll have time to explore your feelings about him and make sure they're true. Remember, if you love something let it go. If it comes back, good, if it doesn't then it wasn't yours to begin with.
Best of luck.
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Is it possible at all for an asexual to date a bisexual? (link)
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This might sound cheesy but anything is possible. If you want to do this then I say go for it. You should sit down with the person and talk about your feelings. Say you want to try it out to see how it goes but that you're not sure. Make sure they understand before getting into anything. You never know!
Best of luck.
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It's gross, especially when it's overt and/or persistant. I thought a relationship was meant to be between 2 people? Why do some couples try to get other people's attention? I noticed yesterday at the mall. There was this interracial couple all over each other, as we stood in line at this food place, and i'd focus on other things but they'd sometimes look back with this look on their face line they want their relationship to interest people, incite anger or jealousy, etc. it was awkward for me, directly behind them, and others in line. I have no problem with any couple, interracial, gay, lesbian, transgender, one young and one old, etc. I'm happy others can find love and be in relationships. I'm not jealous either, it's just uncomfortable to essentially be viewing foreplay without consent. There were children in line, too. Some people seem to get a sexual thrill out of people seeing their pda and that just seems sick and self centered. It makes me understand why there are countries that ban it. (link)
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Hey there.
I think we've all felt the awkwardness of witnessing a "private" moment of a couple. I think most people have seen couples who are very into PDA, some people are bothered and some aren't. I, personally, grew up with parents who didn't even hold hands. To see people kissing or hugging or anything in public would make me squirm with awkwardness.
I respect that these people have such love for their partners that they wish to express it publicly. What I don't respect is when they take it too far (groping, heavily making out, etc.) when other people are around. It's disrespectful to everyone around.
When this happens, it's just best to ignore it. Honestly, if they don't have enough self-respect to keep their private moments private, you won't be able to phase them.
Best of luck.
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Me and my crush are both 15 years old and in the same year. We started to know each other when joining the same club in our school and we interaction every now and then. Before I got out of a relationship a month ago, my crush would play with my hair and tease me now and then. After the breakup, he would do things like touching my face, hugging me from behind, playing with my hair, once he found out I finish lunch early and hang out at a spot alone, he would start finishing his lunch early and "happens" to be hanging out at that spot too. I never see him flirting with other girls lile that. But when there are people around and he happens to see me, we would stare at each other then he proceeded to ignore me, texting with each other doesn't go well because he'd ignore my messages. Today, he texted me and we started off having a really sweet conversation, then I mentioned a very dirty as a joke and he started to talk really dirty to me. I joked dirty with him for a while then tried to change the subject, but he kept talking dirty to me. He said things like "Ima pound your *****" or ask if he could touch my boobs then said he was joking. He also told me he was going to masturbate to some of his pretty girl-friends. I just want to know whether he likes me or he's just trying to get into my pants. I know it's long but I'd really appreciate it if you van give me some advice.
Thank you in advance. (link)
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Alright. Hey there sweetie.
My mom always says: men go only as far as you let them go. So the fact that you initiated a dirty topic, even as a joke, means that you let him think it was okay to talk about that.
Seeing as you both are young, he's not mature enough to just take the joke and go back to the sweet subject. He saw the opportunity to "release the hormones" and jumped for it. Honestly, there may be a chance that he does like you but not for a serious relationship in the future.
The fact that he couldn't go back to the normal conversation, means that he either was consumed by hormones or he just wants you for one thing. A young man who likes you for serious motives, would respect you enough to let go of the subject and not to bring up those topics unless you are ready.
Keep your eyes open! Be safe.
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Should I stay with my boyfriend? I'm 13 and he's 16 but he lives all the way in London. I know some of his friends and that's how I met him. We started back talking a few days ago. I found out that he signed up for the army and he has three years of training. He did it so he wouldn't have to be with me anymore but he wont break up with me and he says that he wants to be with me.
I'm so confused and I need to know if I should break up with him. (link)
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Hey there sweetie. First off, I'd like to say that you're too young to be dating. I was thirteen when I had my first boyfriend and boy, do I regret it. I'm 18 right now, and I still don't feel ready for all the responsabilities of being in a relationship. It's not just hand-holding and long conversations. It's unity, it's becoming one, it's being a team. It's fighting through rough times, it's understanding one another and finally, it's being intimate in more than the obvious way. So yeah, I think letting him go is just best. Firstly, because you're too young to be putting yourself through all the trouble and pressure a relationship brings. And second, because he doesn't seem truly invested. So just enjoy your teen years and wait for the right one to come along.
Best of luck!
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22/f
In an ldr for around 2 months now.My boyfriend is moody..he retreats into his cave.
I last spoke to him day before yesterday and he was all lovey dovey.
And yesterday he didn't reply to my messages and later when I asked him if he's busy, he said he's not but unhappy with his uni.
He moved there 2 months back. Things have been hectic for him I'm assuming.
He skypes often.Usually initiates it all the time.
Talks to me well and all that's there.
I do not like the fact that his mood swings get to me.
I asked him if hes unhappy with the relationship, he said not at all,and he had mood swings last week as well (so I asked him if it was me,he assured it wasn't)
So I dunno if this is a way of signalling that hes donw wit the relationship.
I am totally paranoid when it comes to this.
I asked him "if this changes things between us"
Him : no not the relationship
Me : it eventually would,if you stop talking to me.
Him : I wouldn't stop talking to u,my feelings for you haven't changed
I'm having a bad day.
What am I supposed to assume from this?
I'm confused!:(
(link)
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Hey sweetie. You need to calm down. If you had a bad day at school, work or at home you'd feel very annoyed or upset at the world. So it's okay for him to want to be alone. You need to grant him some space so he can get his schoolwork done and whatnot. Everyone needs "me time". There's a little phrase that goes : absence makes the heart grow fonder. Which is usually true. I don't think he's done with the relationship, he just needs to blow off some steam. It's normal. If you push him too much, he might snap at you and we don't want that so let him be.
Best of luck!
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I am a 17 year old girl, a senior in hs now and all through high school I have liked guys and everytime I have liked a guy I'd end up getting jealous at other girls they would talk to, and I would beat myself up for not being good enough for those guys and that I would never be able to compare to another girl, I'd never be number one if someone better came along. And I have grown tremendously learning that I am better than that and if they cannot see my worth then they are not worth my time...but I still have issues. I've been friends with this guys for more than a year now, and he is like my best friend. I have never thought of him more than a friend till recently, at the end of last year..and I have been convinced by other people and his behavior that he likes me too.. although I have been denying it and giving him every benefit of the doubt that hes just a nice boy lol. I used to be creeeped out at the thought of him liking me..and now thats just what I want. But I'm afraid if he doesnt like me im just going to get hurt and feel so stupid. And I have this gorgeous friend that he just started talking to and now I'm scared he is going to start liking her. And I just feel so bad about myself because its like I am never good enough and I know if he starts liking her its going to break my heart. And I just want to know why I can't just love myself and why I always have to go to guys to get attention and why I feel so damn shitty. I try loving myself and I do but then a guy comes along and treats another girl like he likes her or another girl thats better comes along and gets me worried and I just feel awful and I don't know what to do. sorry if this didnt make sense but please help ah (link)
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Hey sweetie. I'm also a 17 year old girl, senior in HS. I've always been teased and taunted because I don't have the "perfect body", everything from not-so-big-breasts, to flat ass. I used to be so self-conscious that all I wore were skirts or dresses. My family would be part of that teasing, which I think made it worse. After I entered High School, I learned that guys care much for much more than we give them credit for. I don't need to have the perfect teeth, the perfect hair, the perfect body parts or the perfect walk to get someone to like me. And I've also learned to accept that there will always be someone better. It's not a bad thing to accept that, it's not that you think less of yourself but that you learn to not compete constantly. You should always take of yourself and try to look and be your best but you can't compare yourself to every other woman or you'll die of jealousy or envy. Yeah, this other friend of yours may be gorgeous but that doesn't mean he automatically likes her.
If you think he might like you, you should act right now. Tell him how you feel. Now I'm not saying he might not feel the same way, but if you do that now and he ever had some feelings for you he'll consider giving you a chance. Sometimes guys aren't sure we like them, so they move on. By telling him how you feel you lose nothing. If he likes you, great. If he doesn't, great. Why great? Because this way you can move on also. It's worst to just stay there, wondering what if or think about the wouldabeens, shouldabeens, couldabeens. It's better to get that out of the way and start loving yourself.
Best of luck!
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So there's this guy I've been crushing on so hard for the past while now. I'm in the US and he's in... Australia (fml). I really like him. Don't know if he sees me the same way. People think I'm crazy. But I was gonna like take it REALLY slow, get to know him a lot then tell him if I still like him as much or even more. Because if you truly like someone and want to be with them, it doesn't matter the distance, how much time you have with them, or how long it'll take to meet them, right? Btw, he said he's going to move to the UK or US when he graduates university. So there's a good chance with that, right? (link)
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Hey there!
Well, if you took a lot at my profile you'd know I was in a LDR (long distance relationship), and yes, contrary to popular belief, they do work out. It took me 7 months to tell the guy I was with that I liked him, and I wanted more than a friendship with him. I thought he'd say no because of the distance but we tried it. Skype was our best friend!
We would make dinner on our own and then sit down and have a dinner date on Skype. It was great. So having an LDR with this guy is possible, if he's up for it. I'd say wait a little longer to judge whether he likes you or not. And then, wait some more to tell him how you feel. Don't rush anything! Relationships are hard enough, but ldr's are very complicated.
Best of luck!
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'fingering girl, may have precum on finger, but girl took ipill after the incident....will she be pregnant? (link)
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Took ipill? Not sure if you're talking about the pill, or the morning after pill. Either way, chances of her getting pregnant with precum from your finger are highly unlikely. Short answer: no.
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@xx-me-xx
Thank you for your precise answer. It makes so much sense.
I spoke to him and I gathered that the problem is me and why I had such a strong reaction to him being out for lunch with a female friend. He then said he will talk to me later.. no specific period, just later.
The best thing to do now is to give him that space, while I also think about this relationship and how to handle such people. (link)
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Keep me updated!
Best of luck.
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Dear Vikki
I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.
Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!
Thanks!
(link)
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Hey there!
First of all, what an ass you're ex was. Everyone has insecurities, and everyone is at least a little clingy. We all want our partners to want us, to want to talk to us, to say we're beautiful and gorgeous all the time.
Unfortunately, this happens to be the cupcake phase. After that four or five month, things start to cool down and maybe he won't call you beautiful as much, but he'll still think it. Maybe he won't call you five times a day, but he still texts or makes sure you're reminded of him.
As I've said before in other answers, I was in a long distance relation for a long time. When my ex-partner didn't contact me for the whole day, I started to freak out thinking maybe he was with someone else. And every time he talked to me, there was this little voice in the back of my head saying 'maybe he's afaid of telling you he found someone else'.
It came to a point where it began to bring problems between us, because I would get randomly angry and I wouldn't tell him it was because I felt this way. When he told me he loved me, we promised each other that if we ever felt something for someone else we'd tell each other straight up. And that did make most of my insecurities go away. But then, when I feel comfortable with a partner i get really clingy and I want them around me all the time. I want them to talk to me all day, which is normal at first. So when he said he was working, or that he was busy I kind of felt lonely. I would literally stare at the phone until I got a text or a call from him.
It isn't a healthy behavior, and we got over that together. As I said, after that four or five month, we got used to each other. I knew he found me attractive, and he tried to call me every day or Skype before bed so we could catch up.
I kept busy by working out, getting a job, doing things around the house, hanging out with friends and then at night, I'd wait for his call a little bit. Sometimes it came, sometimes it didn't. When it didn't, it meant he'd fall asleep. And he'd apologize the morning after. I began to accept that sometimes he's just like me, tired and drained and needing a break.
So my advice to you is: try to keep busy. Maybe make that promise I told you about, tell him that if he has feelings for someone else to tell you and vice-versa. Then, set a time for him to contact you so you guys can get into a routine. When it's not time for him to contact you: keep busy. Go work out, hang out with other friends, do some chores. Anything and everything that will keep you busy. At the end of the day you'll feel satisified and you'll even have new things to talk about.
Best of luck!
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This guy has been asking me for sex since Sophomore year. He's been asking me stuff like sex, and stuff related to that I see him a lot bc I'm a lacrosse manager and i became one in 10th grade and he plays. He asked me and I was like watch the game bc he was talking to me and this was during our junior year. And he was like is that a no. I didn't say anything. He asked me again and he was like are u in the middle like yes and no and i nodded my head. Also he snap chatted me after and was like i know you want to have sex with me, he's serious. I snap chatted him saying "ok ill admit it, I want too. happpppy?" and he didn't snap chat back. And then we planned on hooking up after one game but I sorta faked because we were going to his car or mine and Im very unsure about myself he's been bugging me since 10th grade. He showed interest too in 9th grade like its weird!
But all of that is over! We never did anything and he has a gf. So our summer started this year, he contacts me in the very beginning of summer and it was just a awkward but he still wanted to do stuff with me.
We are rising seniors now, do you think he's still trying to get my pants, once lacrosse season starts again or maybe during the school year? I want him so bad..
I snap chatted him saying "I guess.. you'll never f*ck me" and he didn't snap chat back, but he always views my stories all the time. What is he thinking now?? Maybe bc its summer? Please answer my question right here! (link)
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Why would you want to have sex with someone who's not in a relationship with you?
Sex is something intimate. It's something to be shared with someone who cares about you. Not someone who just wants some because why not. It shouldn't be like that. And now he has a girlfriend, so you're obviously not going anywhere with this guy.
I suggest you find someone else. Waiting for the right time isn't that hard once you realize how personal and intimate of an act sex really is.
Best of luck.
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Hey there.. I write here today seeking answers. My boyfriend and I had a bit of a scuffle. I had an issue with a certain friend of his whom he had taken for lunch. I personally hate to be the one to find out things,and then the fact that he was taking a friend out to lunch also got me abit jealous. We talked over the phone and he assured me it was just friendly,and she was going through a rough patch in her life.
Hours later,it was Saturday evening and we usually talk about sleepovers or night outs. When I called,his phone was off and it remained like that all night.
Sunday morning,he said he had put it off specifically for me because he knew I would call about that issue. He made it seem like my reaction had not gone well with him,which is fine. I like to talk about our issues. He wasn't hearing it,and he started saying things like he is busy and we will talk later..basically just avoiding talking. He has been quiet for the rest of Sunday now,and I don't know how this week will go.
It's hurtful when I'm consumed inside but I don't have him to talk to. What do I do now? He is not taking my calls and isn't talking to me. Would I be wrong to assume it's over between us?
I'm open to your advice. (link)
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Hey there sweetie!
I think you might've upset him by implying you don't trust him. A little jealousy is fine, but some people don't like it.
Personally, I think you should just let him cool down. Let him come to you, and then tell him you understand that he was upset but if you don't talk about then you won't be able to get past it. Read a book, talk to your family, do whatever you want to keep busy while he cools down.
If he's upset, and you keep bothering him you'll probably just make it worse. If he truly loves you, you guys will get through this bump. I don't think just because you got jealous he'll break up with you.
Best of luck!
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ok, so thats me, the one with the girl hating my guts. I couldnt log into my account, so i had to reset amd i just used a quick account, but, the girl (L) will crumple up my notes when i send them to her, and shes been pissed now for about 4 months. And is anerexsia really that serious? She needs professional help? :0 (link)
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Anorexia is an eating disorder characterized by extreme weight loss and lack of eating. Anorexics may also exercise obsessively. It is a very serious condition and can result in death if it is not treated properly. (found this info at mirror-mirror.org)
Anywho, it's sort of a mix with mental and medical complications. The person sees themselves as fat, and they do anything they possibly can to loose weight.
Saying, "Oh stop it you look fine," doesn't really work in this case because they most definitely see themselves fat. They will most likely think you're lying to make them feel better. So it is best if you leave this girl alone.
If you want to help her just talk to her parents, and if they don't respond just go to any other adult you think may be able to help her.
Best of luck!
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So I met this girl in school and I've known her now for a year, and I really like her but she has a boyfriend. Now I'm friends with her on Facebook and I looked at her boyfriend and he looks like a low life, degenerate, douchebag. And I've called this girl sweet names before like sweet heart and stuff like that and she said that's one thing she likes about me because her boyfriend doesn't call her sweet names and I would take time out of my day to talk to her when her boyfriend wouldn't even talk to her when he's watching TV. But I went on one of those sites where you can look up people's info from there email and username and I found out her boyfriend has been on dating site and I know they didn't meet on one because they met in school together. But I'm not sure how I should tell or even if I should tell her at all. I was going to do it anonomysly through a fake email, because she already knows I like her, so I didn't want to tell her straight out because I know how girls think and she will probably think I'm a nut job or a psycho to go that far to get dirt on him and I don't want her thinkin I did I to break them up so me and her could be together. So I need someones opinion on what I should do.
Also
She's 15
He's either 16-18 I don't know because he can drive and I'm not sure if he lied about his age on Facebook (link)
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Hey there!
I don't think you should mention anything about that dating site to her. He could've been on that before they were dating, or maybe she knows about that. And even if she doesn't, it's not your place to tell her. The keyword in your question is "could", so if it turns out he's not cheating then you'd end up being the nosey guy.
Besides, if she's comparing you to her boyfriend then I'm sure she's thought about being with you instead of him. So just coax her a little more and tell her your honest opinion of the guy, and that he doesn't appreciate her. Ask her for a chance to woo her, maybe she'll take a break from her boyfriend to try things with you if things are as bad as you mentioned above.
Best of luck!
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okay.. so .. theres this guy at my work.. i really like.. but he is shy, and i cant tell if hes interested or just.. idk hes confusing to read. and well whenever me make eye contact we usually stare at each other for a while then smile and i usually laugh and go on with my night at work.. he tends to flirt with me.. but those are the only true signa he could be "interested" and i have asked him to hang before..an he said yes.. he didnt ask but made a suggestion for me to come over once.. but never happend.. and when i ask him to hang now.. he ALWAYS says he might .. but never does.. im so confused..idk what to think or do..help.
(link)
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Hey there!
Well if he's as shy as you say then you might need to be a bit more aggresive. As in, maybe next time you see him you could invite him somewhere. Make solid plans so he has no other option but to say yes or no.
Maybe you could tell him: "Hey there's this movie I want to see coming up *insert day here*, how about we meet up at *insert time here* at the movies?"
He's probably nervous about making plans or most likely unsure of how you feel towards him. So make a date and invite him.
Best of luck!
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My boyfriend has a 9 year old little sister. I would love to speak to her on the phone someday but I dont know what I would say to her. Any advice? (link)
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Hey there!
I went through something similar. My ex-boyfriend wanted me to talk to his 7 year old niece. So just start with a simple, "hi"
and then ask how she is. How's summer going for her, what she'd like to do. Maybe ask her if she'd like to go to the beach or the pool with you and your boyfriend. Or you could ask her what's her favorite place to go in the summer and then say if she'd like to go sometime.
I think getting along with your partner's siblings is a very important thing and if you can get this little girl on your side, you'll have the family's seal of approval. So just be nice, and you should be fine.
Best of luck!
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When I was 12 years old,I met a young man about 13.We met in church.We hanged out alot and we were close.He left the church with his dad who was singing there at the time.
I am 24 now and he is 25
I moved to another state,and he is still in California
3 years ago we got back in touch through Facebook.At first we were texting and talking always,and throughout this period we had times of seperation due to personal problems,not neccesarily with eachother. The times that we kept texting we just kept getting closer and closer.And we love eachother.
We are planning to see eachother in September.Ive saved money and Im happy.
The problem is is that I have beliefs.I am not Jewish,but I kep Shabbat and Bibical Feasts.And the Bible clearly states that I cant be un-evenly yoked with a non-believer.He does not believe in any of this stuff,whereas,I havent talked much about it.Hes very serious about me and wants to marry me.My mom is very strict about our Bibical beliefs and she won't have a heathen with her daughter.I also don't want to go to hell and lose the beautifullness I have with this man that I love.I feel torn.Should I stay or tell him goodbye and be with someone who shares in what I believe? I dont want to let him,even thinking has left me crying for hours at a time.Please,what do I do?? (link)
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Hey sweetie!
I don't know if you came to the right person for help with the belief-stuff, since I'm an atheist. But I'll help you anyway.
Firstly, I think it is so sweet that you guys found each other after so much time! So I assume you guys are just friends (with feelings for each other), but not in a long distance relationship.
I respect your beliefs but you love this man. It's a difficult situation: religion/love. Whether you go against your religion or not is completely your choice but if it were me, I would re-consider my religion.
This man loves you, and is willing to marry you and maybe one day, you'll have his children. You could have the happily-ever-after. It's something very rare; not everyone finds this opportunity.
I understand your Mom is strict, but you're 24, not 12. You rule your life, you make your own decisions and ultimately, if you choose your loverboy then it is you who will marry him. So forget about your mother, and think about you and your feelings.
"I also don't want to go to hell..." Here's where me being an atheist is a bit complicated. I, personally, think that heaven and hell were made for people who are scared of death. Basically, everyone. If good people were good then they go to a happy place (heaven), if they are bad or know of someone bad that person will go to a bad place (hell). Really it's simple, people would rather live their lives a certain way, follow rules, be obedient to other people just to assure a good place after death, if there is such a thing.
Sorry about my religion rant, onto your problem. I don't think you'll go to hell for pursuing a relationship with this man. Do you think it's fair to go to hell for being in a loving, happy, healthy and successful relationship? I don't.
Why do you think there's so many religions in the world? People have problems with their religons all the time. So they either change to a religion they find acceptable, or they just abandon religon alltogether.
So with all that said, I apologize if I drifted a bit off the topic. The whole religion thing really infuriates me. I hope I could help you in any way possible and I truly wish you all the happiness in the world.
Stop trying to make everyone happy, and make yourself happy.
Best of luck!
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I just got out of high school, but for five years up until almost the end of my senior year, me and this girl Carrie were best friends. We never hung out at each other's houses, we were just best friends at school and almost always had all of our classes together. She had a lot of problems with many old boyfriends since she was very young, and a tough home life. She was basically on her own since she was 13, her parents weren't too supportive. We stopped being friends because she did something to me, and then thought I was talking bad about her which I never would have done. She didn't believe me so I decided I didn't need someone like her in my life. The friendship was basically one sided anyways, she would tell me her problems and I would listen and give advice. I would give her rides everywhere because her parents wouldn't let her have her license. Anywho, after we stopped being friends I was pretty happy, but I would always see her staring at me and I've heard her talking about me multiple times. She hated me. And after this I started to not like her too. We worked in the same place, and she would take every chance to make me do dirty work or just try and take advantage of me. I quit that job because of my own problems at home and continued on with my life. I started talking to a boy, I had been friends with him ever since grade school, but we never talked much until now and realized we had so much in common. We started dating and I then found out that he had dated Carrie years ago before me and her were best friends. I was alright with that, things happen. I know that he is in love with me, and she has had about four boyfriends since him and is currently with someone, so she would have no reason to still talk to him. Well he has always given her rides to school since they live kind of close, not too often though. He started doing it less and less now that we started dating. He never asked what happened between me and her, but I would talk to him crying about what she did to me at school that day. He knows she hates me and that I don't like her. My boyfriend and Carrie both have jobs, and the buildings are near each other. Today I was visiting my boyfriend during his break and we were looking at funny pictures on his phone. A text pops up at the top and it's from Carrie. He seems to ignore it and starts laughing at the funny pictures. I however got instantly sick to my stomach seeing her name on his phone. I got silent. I didn't know that they were talking to each other. I know the message wasn't dirty or anything, but that was only one text, and the point is they are talking to each other. I pretended like nothing was wrong. I drove home crying, because I'm on my period and I'm super emotional. I was thinking if stuff I wish I could have said when I saw that text. "oh aren't you going to respond to her?" "That's weird I didn't know you guys were that close"
Now, I tell him everything. And I feel like he keeps information from me about his past. I am a virgin and I have told him that, but he hasn't told me if he was or not, and that was his only other girlfriend. Me and him have been together for five months. I just don't know what to do, knowing that they talk to each other.
Me and him are always sending funny pictures to each other. When I got home I send him a picture that said "when you see someone else text bae" and there was a series of crying faces, which could be comical, but not to me since I felt that and had been crying. He texted back and said "lol I hate the word bae" I responded "ok sorry." And he hasn't texted back since.
I'm pretty sad, I just need some advice about this. (link)
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Hey there!
I feel like I can relate to everything you typed just perfectly. I was best friends with a girl since 4th grade. In 9th grade she was dating someone and so was I. She started hanging out with other girls, and I just hung out with her when I could and with my partner. That was when she started talking about me and about my relationship. She'd say her relationship was better, and that I had no spark with my boyfriend.
I ignored it but it kept getting worse until I just burst out and got in a really big fight with her and stopped talking to her. She moved away and after a few days I was with my boyfriend and he was showing me some status on facebook when I see a message pop up with her name.
I mean, before she started hanging out with other people we were all friends but I didn't expect them to keep in touch. Anyways, the message was "how are things going with x____?" So I was very angry.
I ended things with him because I cannot trust someone who would have a friendship with someone who disrespects me so much. Someone who talked badly about me and dissed our relationship.
I'm not saying you should dump him, but you should totally come out and say "Hey, I saw that message from Carrie and I think it's really disrespectful of you to talk to her after everything she's done to me."
Tell him that if roles were reversed you'd avoid speaking to that person. And if he denies it or says she's his friend then just tell him that he needs to choose his friends a little better.
Best of luck!
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