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me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and lately he seems extremely emotionless and uninterested around me, especially in public. but then we'll be alone and everything will be good. i think im just freaking myself out and every little thing he does that makes it seem like hes uninterested absolutely kills me. he says hes tired or hes sore from conditioning or something (which i understand) but sometimes have a hard time believing. am i just freaking myself out? what should i do to calm myself down, and whats he really thinking? (link)
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As for calming yourself down, enjoy the times when things are good. To find out what he is really thinking you have to bring the topic up again. Let him know you understand that he is sore from conditioning (ask him if he wants a massage!) but you are worried there is more to it. Having been together for almost a year, you guys should be able to talk about anything. Since things are not always this way, he probably has something on his mind or something he is going through. While talking with him about your feelings, let him know that you are there for him. Good luck. Hope I helped. If you need anything else, I'm here!
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So my boyfriend and I havent had sex for over 2 months. Its not that I dont want to have sex with him, its just that I dont want to just have sex anywhere. He is constantly reminding me that we havent had sex. Today we got into a huge arguement because we werent gonna be able to see eachother and he ended up telling me that he cant take it aymore and that if im not going to have sex with him, then he's going to get it from someone else. A few hours later he text me and told me that he was sorry, yet he doesnt want to talk about what was said. He called me after asking me if I like Guess purses and I said yes, but i don't want him to think that he can just buy me something and its going to change what was said. I really don't know what to do anymore and I need help on what this relationship will be like if things stay the way they are. Please comment. Thank You very much! (link)
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Not having sex just anywhere is a very respectable decision and behavior. Be proud of yourself for that! Among many things, respect is a key component to a healthy and successful relationship. If your boyfriend truly cared for you, he would have respect for you. Constantly reminding you that you haven't had sex? Not only is that disrespectful, but it is also rude and immature. You said the argument was "because we werent gonna be able to see eachother and he ended up telling me that he cant take it anymore". This sounds to me that when you guys were supposed to spend time together, he was yet again going to pressure you to have sex with him. I'm sure among your many reasons for not wanting to have sex just anywhere includes that sex to you is not just sex. Sex is more special. For you, it is probably making love everytime. It seems both of you view sex differently. Also, how can he expect you to build the want to have sex/make love to him when he treats you in this way? Threatening you to "get it from someone else" is one of the lowest things a guy can say to a woman. It is wrong, abusive and controlling! To top it all off, he wants to to accept his apology without a discussion? You are right- he cannot buy you and you shouldn't buy him! Honey, you deserve way better than this sorry excuse for a man! You deserve someone who accepts you for who you are and respects you for it. You need someone who feels the same way about you that you care about them. Your partner should never make you feel the way he does. Besides no respect, your boyfriend has now brought a trust issue into your relationship with his threat to sleep with other women. If you let things continue to stay the way they are, they will only get worse! It is time to let him go and save your heart for someone who deserves it! Good luck. I hope I helped. If you ever need anything else, I'm always here!
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Okay,
My boyfriend has been looking at p*rn a lot lately and it really bothers me. It bothers me because that is what he seems to prefer rather than us having sex together. He doesn't tell me he is looking at it, He hides it. Whenever I question or ask about it he lies...and it is really starting to tick me off. (link)
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I think you have a right to feel bothered by it. To me, looking is the first step of cheating. The people in the porn videos are just as real as the people walking down the street. I agree with you that it is wrong for him to continue this behavior when he knows you don't like it. If he really cares about you, he will respect your feelings. One can argue if you really care about him you'll let him watch something he enjoys watching. However, since you said "lately", this implies he has recently started this while dating you. Lying is not helping him either. Honesty and trust are key components to a healthy and successful relationship. You said he seems to prefer watching porn than having sex with you. This is not a good sign. This could mean he is doing more than just watching porn. Or it could mean he is losing interest in you. You need to confront him about your feelings and the fact that you know he has been lying. Tell him you would appreciate if he would be honest with you. Let him know you care about him and want to work things out. If he continues to lie or is not willing to compromise with you, than I say he is too immature for a relationship and that you deserve better. Good luck. Hope I helped. If you need anything else I'm here!
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theres this guy who ive known for almost a year now, id say ive liked him for about 8 months now. he always knew i liked him and he always said he liked me. he wasnt ready for a relationship. we had a fall out not long ago and after that he apoligised and said he missed me and things...and now we are dating. obviously im really happy that we are now together, but it doesnt seem right to me, i dont know why. has anyone else felt like this? he is my first serious boyfriend. ive dated other guys before but they havent really meant this much to me. (link)
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It seems to me that you're afraid he is going to hurt you. It must have been hard for you when you knew he liked you back before and didn't want to go further. Deep down you're probably wondering: why didn't he want me than? What made him ready now?
You could also be worrying that there will soon be another fallout, and you don't want that because you guys are finally official like you always wanted.
To fix this, you need some reassurance from your boyfriend. Be honest with him about how you feel. Let him know how much you care about him and be open with him about your worries. Ask him if he feels the same way and if he wants things to work.
I'm sure you'll get the answers you're looking for.
Remember when he was "ready to date", he didnt choose some other girl- he picked you.
Hope I helped! If you ever need anything else, I'm here. xoxo
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I'm a 17/f dating an 18/f and we've been together for more than 4 months. I love her, I really do.. but sometimes I think it's not healthy to love her this much. Whenever I'm away from her I wonder about what she's doing and where she's at. Is she at home? Is she sleeping? Is she on facebook? Is she eating? Watchig t.v.? Things like that. I really miss her when she's away from me and I go crazy or something because I can't talk to her and start thinking about all the possibilities that she could be out with someone else. I know that this is my insecurity and I wish she could reassure me that I'm the only one in her heart and I don't want to have to ask her. Our parents don't know that we're together, but we think that they might have some clues. My mother asked me to help her cook some food for a bit and she gave me a talk about boyfriends and her gay friend who had to work hard since she was with a girl that was lazy and stuff like that. I don't think my gf's lazy but I'm also afraid to fall into that kind of lifestyle that my mom's gay friend lived. My mom's friend worked 2 jobs and overtime, idk and she bought two houses for her gf only for her family to take her away. I think it's natural to be attached to someone when you love them, but I feel this gap inside me or something, Idk.. it's a feeling that I don't want. It's not bad not seeing each other for after while because when we do see eachother we laugh like crazy even over something that we wouldn't normally laugh at. But when we're apart I feel really lonely and I don't want to be with anyone but her. Not only that, but I feel this when it hasn't even been 6 or 7 hours away from her yet. I guess for me it's because being around her and hearing her voice makes me more happy and it just makes me laugh even more. I think I'm just really insecure about this because the last girlfriend I had was out with someone and I caught her having sex with a guy on a picnic table. Sometimes I think that by being with her, I'm hurting her too because.. really what I can do for her? I'm 5'2 and I can barely take care of myself.. I stay indoors more than go out to the mall and stuff because walking around and seeing so many people makes me tired. I want her to have fun too. (link)
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You said you don't want to have to ask her, but I think this is the only way to fix this situation. You need some reassurance from your girlfriend. You care about her, but you want to know if she is as serious as you are. You are afraid to lose her. If you do, you don't want it to be because of something you have done wrong. I think you need to sit her down and let this all out. Start off by saying what you're about to tell her is because you care about her and that the last thing you could ever want is for anything to ruin what you have. Good Luck, I hope I helped. If you ever need anything else, I'm always here!
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20/M
This is going to be pretty long, sorry.
Well, approximately 3 years ago me and my friend were walking down the street and we met these two girls. Let's call them Linda and Julia. Well, I am a big flirt so I started to flirt with Julia. And we hit it off. I invited them to a party that weekend. Long story short, we became really close friends. Within one year of our friendship, My friend and Linda have gotten pretty close and they started going out. And when I saw them going out, I decided to ask out Julia a couple months after that. All four of us became really close friends. Due to some family problems, my friend had to move which put a strain on my friend and Linda's relationship. They split but they were still pretty close friends. While he was gone, me and Julia were still together. But Linda and I have gotten to be really close friends. She was a like a little sister to me. A couple of months later, my friend moves back and him and Linda get back together. While they were all together, I found out that Julia has been cheating on me all these years. So I broke up with her. After that, everyone started hating her. Like I said, we were like a close family and when we found out she did that we didn't want anything to do with her. Linda was there for me. Around my friends I am the tough guy, but with Linda I knew I could cry and tell her anything. And after that, I started realizing that she's a pretty amazing girl. And I guess you can say I started having feeling for her. Two months later Julia comes to my door and I see she's pregnant. She told me I was the father. Since I didn't really have my parents there for me, I decided to give it another shot with her. Although my friend and Linda didn't approve of it, I was still with Julia. I came to found out that the baby she was having wasn't mine. So, I leave her. And after that I didn't feel so well. Linda was there for me once more. I told her everything and I she was always there for me. I soon learned to move on with my life, and I started hooking up with a lot a girls. I would says that I would have around 15 different girls a week. Linda didn't like it, but she didn't say anything. All three of us were still close friends. We told each other everything and we would always hang out. It's been three years into our close friendships with one another when my friend had to move once more. Linda and him still kept a relationship although it was a long distance one. Since he's been gone there has been a lot of problems with another guy trying to get with her. I met the other guy and we became friends. Since my other friend was gone, I thought I can get Linda with this other guy to be together. Lida kept telling me that she didn't want to have anything to do with him because he was a bad guy. I really didn't see that side of him, so I kept on pushing him onto her. I later realize that all he wanted was to sleep with her. And I told to back off. I then realize that I have feelings for her. I told my friend about how I know that they're taking a break and all but I like her. He told me to go for it if it's how I really feel.
I really want to ask her out, but I know she doesn't deserve me. I am a total party animal, I drink, I do drugs, and I'm always around girls. She's really conservative and she's a really good girl. She gets straight A's in class, nice, doesn't drink or do drugs, and she's overall a great a girl.
I want to tell her how I feel and I want to be with her, but I feel like I will ruin her life. And we're pretty close friends, I don't think she'll think of more as more than her best friend.
And she's been with my other friends, on and off for three years. I feel that she still likes him and she would want to stay true to him although he's far away.
These pass few weeks, I guess you can say I've been flirting with her. When she's at my house, I sit next to her and I play with her hair and hands. And when we're over at her house we're always watching movies on her bed and I get pretty close to her and we cuddle.
I finally came to the conclusion that I want to pursue a relationship with her. But how can I do it without being the best friend, the guy who has had a pregnancy scart, the guy who has been with multiple girls? I want her to know that I'm serious about her and that's she's not going to be like the other random hookups. How can I tell and show her that I want a serious relationship with her?
Help me please.
Sorry, if it's long. (link)
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If you are willing to change for her, than change first! Work on being what she deserves. Once your current lifestyle is behind you, how could you ruin her life?
This is the best way to go, because than when you talk to her about how you feel, she will realize how much you have already done for her. This will be her proof that you are serious about her.
Later,if she is concerned about her on and off relationship with your other friend, you can always talk about it all together...
So, if you want her, work for her! Get rid of your old habits and while doing so, start showing her you care!
Good luck! I hope I helped. If you ever need anything else, I'm always here!
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Okay do I'm bi. I'm sixteen and I'm a girl. I know I like girls but I wanna know how do I get one to like me if they're like that and how do I find out if they are? (link)
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Also a bi female(19)
This can definitely be frustrating but...the same rules apply as if you were straight. You can't make anyone like you if the connection isn't there. Also, if you find out a girl is bi, doesnt mean they will be interested...
The waiting part always sucks but the saying "good things come to those who wait" is really true.
Basically have hope and eventually the right girl (or guy) will come along :) That's the beauty of being bi also- we have double the chance of finding true love and happiness.
Hang in there! Hope I helped. If you ever need anything I'm always here.
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My boyfriend is graduating highschool a semester early and starting to go to college in January. He is 17, almost 18. Im 16,gonna be 17 in june. I want to get him a really nice gift because we have been together for a year and a half but i dont know what to get him...he will be 5 hours away so we wont see each other much, and he cant have his car the first year and i wont get my license until summer. I can spend up to $150. I have already gotten him:
1-a nice $140 watch for our 1 year anniversary
2-a photoalbum for our 6 month anniversary
3-an interesting alarm clock for his birthday because he cant wake up in the morning. ever.
4-a shirt of his favorite band for valentines day
5-the first 3 pokemon movies as a "feel better gift" when he was sick
6-tickets to a baseball game
7-countless keychains (he loves them...his keychains a wreck haha)
8-a leather wallet
9-Posters for his wall becuase he had his room redone
10-massage oil because he was so stressed out with college and stuff
So thats pretty much it. I wnat to get him something romantic. i was thinking of getting a jar and writing down many memories (maybe 200 or 300) and thing i love about him and have each one attached to a hershey kiss. but idk if he will like it because its rediculously corny haha and i still want to get him something he will use. do you think i should give him the jar? what else could i get? some help? Thank you =] (link)
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I think you should definitely go with your idea. He needs something to make him feel better and know that you care when he is thinking about how much he misses you. The jar of memories with a hershey kiss attached is perfect. Plus everytime he reads one and eats a chocolate kiss, it will make him think about kissing you for real. By the way, you are indeed very creative. Your other gifts were awesome. I think he'll love it.
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THIS IS A LONG ONE!! SORRY BUT I REALLY NEED ADVICE!
Hi, First of all, thank you for reading my question and answering it...ok here it goes!
I just got into a relationship with this super sweet guy. He makes me sooo happy. We met online, and after a few weeks we exchanged numbers. We started texting, then I came over my "shyness" and talked on the phone. To be honest, I never met anyone online before, and neither did he so we was kinda iffy about it. I joined the site the same time he did, and he was the only one that caught my interest! He doesnt live too far away, but it is far. I live in South Florida, and he is in Tampa.
Anyways, me and him really hit it off and we finally became a couple. We talk all the time on the phone (something like 14 hours a day! ) We constantly text, whether Im at school, work, wherever.
I know he isnt cheating on me, but I have been hurt so much I cant help but think so. I have been in only one previous relationship before this. I am 20 and he is 29. I have spoken with his parents. All his friends and family know about me. We talk about everything. I know his deep dark secrets and he knows mine.
In my past, I have been molested, cheated on, and lied to. I really find it hard to trust anyone,mainly men; including my family. But I want to trust him, and I am trying. I like him soo much.
**I feel like it was fate because I was transferring schools for next Fall in the area he lives, and then I met him.
But the problem is that when we are phone, I usually have nothing to say! I Dont Know what to say! I have nothing to say. Just hearing his voice makes my day, but I know I have to say something. The last relationship I was in was like absolutely no communication, and now him, he wants to talk all the time...and I love that about him. But Im used to hiding my feelings, and not sharing. How do I break that?
I have been trying, but I can see sometimes he gets frustrated. Its very hard for me to open up and express my feelings, and the crazy thing is I want to so bad. Its like Im expecting something bad because he is too good to be true. I just dont want to be hurt again, because my ex hurt me bad! I know him, he would never hurt me, he tells me all the time, but I cant help thinking this way.I been hurt all my life.
The last relationship I was in wasnt really a relationship now that I think about it. So this is my "FIRST" real relationship. He used me for my virginity, and I was too stupid to see. He cheated on me, the whole nine. But I thank God he did that because it was a life lesson. And now, I got the best man in the world.
Also, How do I make this long distance relationship work. Its very hard not seeing each other. I want to be near him so bad. I never seen him before, but I have so many pictures of him, as he does of me.
We wont see each other until 2 more months when I go on orientation to my new university. And then after that August, when I move into my dorm or apartment, i dont know yet (sorry! off track)
and please dont tell me about the dangers of the internet because I know, and with him its nothing dangerous.
P.S. Thanks sooooooo much for answering this question, I know its alot to read and I just want to thank you for your time. (link)
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If he knows your deep dark secrets, this must include your past. It takes two people to make any relationship work. It will take both of you to help you open up more to him. Tell him what you told us! Let him know the reasons why your finding it hard. With his support, it will get easier. You need him to work with you on it.
One of my favorite words of wisdom that I came across applies here: "If you hold back your feelings because you're afraid of getting hurt, you wind up getting hurt anyway."
As far as making the long distance relationship work, I think besides this commiunication issue, you guys can make it. You know his family, you guys talk all the time, you'll be living near eachother soon... Try to relax!
I hope I helped. Good luck. If you ever need anything else I'm here!
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Im a 42 (43 next month) single and work in a Drs. Office. We recently saw a patient who I thought was attractive and very nice. After he was finished treating in our office I was sad I would'nt be seeing him anymore. Then a few months later I found out he works at the hospital next to our offices. I see him occasionaly and have been trying to find a way to get to know him better. Of course he doesnt know I exist. Im really shy and terrible at talking to people. I thought of friending him on facebook? Or having a friend who also works at the hospital say something to him. He is also only 39..am I to old for him? I have been out of the dating pool awhile & Its been along time since someone has interested me this much & he is probably a little out of my league (though my coworkers say im not) I have no idea how to break the ice & my friends are to busy with there "unsingle" lifes to listen to my request for advice. What do you think? (link)
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The next time you see him, I would start a light conversation. Something along the lines of, "Hey! How are you? I remember you from your visit to the doctors office. You work at the hospital?" Than take it from there. Afterwards I would go ahead and friend him on facebook.
I think you just got the jitters. I'm sure he'll remember you, and I bet you talk to people just fine! So relax!
Age really is just a number. I don't think you're too old for him at all. Plus, some guys think its very attractive for the woman to be older.
Don't put yourself down. I think you're very much in his league. He's nice. You sound nice. You both work in the same field. Have more confidence in yourself!
Good luck. I hope I helped. If you ever need anything else, I'm here!
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There's this guy I used to like from age 12 to age 16 and im still 16 but im over him,,,,finally.
We used to have sex all the time and we were good friend but he never wanted to date me..yet he liked me several times during our friendship and it seems as though he did the whole time but didn't wanna tell anyone.Anyways,when he found out I had sex with someone else ,he got soo mad at me and he fought the kid i had sex with and eventually got another girlfriend and they went out for 6 months. They broke up and he started talking to me..but he says he stills like his ex gf a little bit and they are still close.He was texting me last night talking about us hooking up and us catching up and hanging out,which i was fine with.He texted me for like 5 hours and i went to sleep and told him to text me tomorrow (meaning today) so we could hangout and he sounded really interested and said yes.I saw him at school the next day and we talked for a minute and i figured he would talk to me later,but he didnt! I don't know why he would spend so much time talking to me one night and make plans with me and then blow me off and not text me.I was thinking maybe he'd text me tomorrow after he gets back from a concert he said he's going to but idk.I'm just confused! (link)
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I do not like the sound of this guy. If you are over him than why put him back into your life that closely again?
You guys were never official and yet, he thinks you shouldn't be with anyone else? If you are not dating the person than you are not committed. He stepped out of line fighting someone you were intimate with.
Him not telling anyone was another way of him thinking he has some sort of control over you. He was most likely hooking up with other girls as well but didn't want you to know, thinking he could have you for himself. He can do that but not you? Not acceptable. If you guys were good friends, I can't think of any other reasoon why people weren't to know about the two of you.
If he still has feeling for his ex and claims they are close, he probably means intimate. This sounds like when he is not with her, he wants you. He was probably with her at the time he blew you off.
This guy is all about games with you. I don't think he deserves your time, and I think you deserve someone better.
I hope I helped. Good luck, and if you ever need anyting else- I'm here!
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okay so i have a huge crush on my friends brother, he always says hi to me, and i always say hi back but im too shy usually to have a long conversation, any ways as a joke me and him pass notes and his sister is the messanger (hes in high school 9th grade and im in 8th grade at middle school but the schools are on the same campus) anyways the note usually say like cute little things about how were best friends and every thing, and i want to ask him out, but is that weird considereing that im the girl, or is it too hard to date some one in high school? and if he said no then it would be really akward between me and him and his sister and mine friendship.oh and btw im 14 if that matters. thankyou and please gove advice =] (link)
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Since he writes you notes sayin how you're "best friends", I would first get confirmation that the feelings are mutual so the friendship won't become awkward between you, him and his sister if you found out they weren't after you asked him. I would either go through his sister, since she is already involved being messenger, or ask him yourself. The way I would ask him was to start by bringing up being "best friends." Than I would ask him flirting how much he cares about me. If he repeats the whole best friends label, I would say you were wondering if it were stronger than that. If he says yes, you can go from there to asking him out. If he says no, you can change the subject. This way you wont risk making things awkward between you guys if the feelings aren't mutual. Also, I do not think it is weird to ask a guy out at all. Dating someone in high school when you're in middle school will be a little complicated, but I think it can work. It will be complicated for the fact that you won't see them much during school. Most of the relationship would consist outside of school. But like I said, you could make it work. Good luck with everything! I hope I helped. If you don't mind, please drop me an inbox to let me know how it all turned out. If you ever need anything else, I'm here. =)
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