Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
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Member Since: January 18, 2005
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adviceman49
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23/f, 29/m
My boyfriend made this comment about me trying out my new toner and he said, “why? your face is already breaking out. Wouldn’t that make you break out more?” Is that supposed to make me feel better? Is that supposed to be some kind of a joke? Because I don’t understand. He tends to make comments like this here and there. Does he expect me to not have a reaction to it? He subtly puts me down and it makes me lose my self-esteem.
The more I started thinking, I know that my counselor told me the signs and her thoughts on him not respecting my boundaries, but I guess that’s true. I keep thinking back on how he was hurting me during sex and I told him, “I thought you’re supposed to be turning me on, not turning me off.” And I said “ow” multiple times. He apologized and eventually stopped. He didn’t stop right away.
When I don’t give him a response that he likes very much, he ignores me or neglects me. Or he only sends me short responses until I apologize. He refuses to tell me how I feel. When I make a point like he’s hiding me from everyone and the relationship, he doesn’t answer. He tells me to be quiet while I’m talking. It makes me feel bad.
Whenever I tell him whatever he's doing doesn't make me feel very good and that he's not appreciating me or is being mean to me, he always backtracks and tells me that he's not being mean. That he supports my career change and he's encouraging me. Him encouraging me doesn't make every other comment or critic okay.
When I discuss something with him, he refuses to answer. When I’m upset, he acts extra affectionate until I act as if I’m okay again and then he treats me in a different pattern. He treats me well in person, but when he’s not next to me, he doesn’t treat me very well. He still makes those comments in person, though. Subtly putting me down.
He has this pattern of him being jealous of whoever I hang out with and he tells me that he’s suspicious. I haven’t done anything to break his trust and when I say that, he gets upset. So I think it’s a reverse psychology and maybe it’s that he doesn’t trust himself and he says it’s nothing like that and gets quiet and tells me he doesn’t want to talk about it.
I think the only person that should be worried, is me. He has done several things to break my trust and I haven’t done anything to him. I’m the one that’s paranoid and curious on who he’s hanging out with because he has broken my trust several times.
What should I do? What can I do? (link)
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Ok firstly, try to remember that not all males know everything there is to know about make up! lol. so try not to take too much of the dumb male comments to heart because sometimes they like to act like they know all there is to know about things when they dont. He obviously wouldnt know alot of make up because does he use it himself?? probably not. So i would just call him out on those little comments and say something like "oh cause you just know all about make up huh??" lol. Make a joke of it and make him feel stupid for having said something like that.
Ive had lots of male friends in the past and that tactic when they try shit on me usually works and their a little more careful about what they say the next time around. ; )
Also you need to find the RIGHT time to talk to him about things that are important to you. ASK him when your both alone together and he seems like hes in an ok mood if we can talk about some stuff youve been thinking about. if he says "not now" then just ask "ok when would it be a good time?" or say that your going to keep on reminding him that youd like to talk about some important things youve been thinking about and that your not going to stop asking so he might as well MAKE TIME rather then just keep putting it off.
When you CAN get him to sit down and talk with you, ask that he be honest and dont bring up specific situations and then zero in on them too much. What you want to do is instead of saying something about (lets say the make up comment) say "ive noticed that youve been making alot of little side comments lately that seem to come off harsh and im just wondering if your stressed out because it seems like youve been taking things out on me" then ask if anything is bothering him and if theres anything you can do. If he continues to say he doesnt want to talk about it ask "why not?" and ay "how are we supposed to make this work if your not willing to open up some and let me in??" because "a relationship is a two way street and your not allowing it to be right now" and then just be quiet, stare at him, and see what he has to say.
Remove your emotion from it and do not allow anything he says to upset you. Your both adults and you should be able to have an adult like conversation without allowing your emotions to over come you. Let him say what he wants to really say if he feels this is his chance to open up.
As two adults you HAVE to be able to talk about the brass tacts of being in a relationship with each other. its not all about lovey dovey, dream land type attitudes. Theres going to be discord at times and nit picking because people are people and no one is perfect.
Things change though when your partner is PURPOSELY going out of their way to say hurtful things, so be SURE that that is what he is doing before you assume that "he MUST know that what he said wasnt right" when in fact he might NOT have known that one little side comment upset you.
Find a good time to talk to him when he seems like hes in an ok mood and open to it and not busy. ASK "hey can we talk?" try to be neutral, STAY CALM because nows your chance to express yourself like an adult woman and not let emotion over come you because if you do that, youll come on too strong, over whelm him, and then he might shut down on you and then youve missed your chance to get through to him.
If he keeps on saying not now or im busy then tell him to MAKE TIME to sit down with you because your GOING to keep on asking so he might as well make time sooner rather then later.
Now during his talking (assuming youve got him to sit down with you) really HEAR what hes saying. Ask yourself things like:
are the things hes saying sound like someone that will make me happy?
does he sound like hes willing to make room for me in his life right now?
(some people say they want to be in a relationship but in reality they just really dont want to be alone and that can start to show when they start to feel like its ok to not feel the need to please you anymore and keep things happy)
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This is very new to me ,so let's start with I'm a girl (20) and my girlfriend(21),me and my girlfriend started talkin back in highschool and hit it off we now dating for 2 years 6 months ,so one time stayed over at her house and then after I left her mother said to not see me again,that was 3 months ago ,we were supposed to go on a date next week when it was mentioned to her mother she said that she needs to stay away from me...I'm a good kid I guess studyin my 3rd year in uni ,great grades respectful...why is she making this so hard on both of us...just wanted another person point of view (link)
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Ok, first off im sorry your going through this. People parents can get really weird ideas about others for some reason sometimes and then draw on those ideas and then end up coming to really weird conclusions when none of it is true what so ever.
Also if it IS true, then try to remember that this might not even necessarily be about you specifically. Sometimes people act shitty because of things THEIR going through that actually have nothing to do with you. Totally unfair and stupid I KNOW but this is how people who live more by their emotions can be.
Also (and i know this is terrible to mention) but is there ANYWAY what so ever that your girlfriend could be making this stuff up so that she doesnt have to see you anymore??
I dont want to make that kind of leap but i only say this because shes an ADULT and if she really wanted to do something she would FIND a way to do it and not change her mind if she loved you and was determined enough.
Heres MY take on it ok. Even if your girlfriend DOESNT have a propensity for lying, i would ask her why doesnt just ignore her mom, fight her on it, and tell her that shes al adult and that while her mothers opinion DOES matter to her that its still HER choice weather or not she wants to hang out with you or not. This is not a choice that a mother should be making for an adult child. After 18 or 19 i would say as a parent you pretty much have no say (or shouldnt) over who your childs friends are but it IS important to hear that parent out and judge for yourself weather or not that opinion has any validity to it and then make a choice separately of that.
How did your girlfriend tell you that her mom said this stuff? is it all just from her mouth? also how did her mother act when you WERE there?? was she pretty friendly and inviting? or did she stay an another part of the house the whole time and hide like she wanted nothing to do with you?
If i were you i would tell your girlfriend that maybe YOU and her mother need to talk about this face to face and have a calm, adult conversation about how shes feeling about you and her daughter being friends. Ask your GF if shes lying because if she is nows the time to admit it and that all can still be forgiven but that if you have to come over to her moms and talk to her and find out that shes placing blame on her mom and just SAYING "my mom doesnt want us to hang out anymore" then your going to be very upset.
Ive have this happen to me before and trust me, they came clean when i told them that i was willing to come over there and speak to their parent myself, in person, and ASK them if they had some sort of a problem with me. One time i did it and the "friend" admitted that she DID lie and that she just didnt like confrontation. Although i was the bigger person and forgave her, i still chose to walk away from the friendship but told her that i was glad she told the truth and that its never fair to lie like that and say their parent said some shit they didnt say.
Another time, a friend of mine didnt want to be friends anymore so she told her mother that i was doing things and saying things that ANOTHER friend of hers that i barely knew was saying and doing, and when i talked to the mother she acted like i was the horrible person until later when she found out that it was THE OTHER GIRL and not me. lol.
Manipulation is a huge thing in family dynamics sometimes so you need to make sure that this isnt the case because the story sounds off here.....
good luck!
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so I broke up with my GF over 8 months ago, she's moved on, living with someone now. I only found this out 2 weeks ago. We all 3 happen to work at the same place, although we rarely if ever see one another. I'm finding myself becoming obsessed with them. What are they doing, are they together, where are they. I hate doing these things, but, like I said it's really becoming an obsession. HELP! How do I stop this unhealthy behavior? (link)
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Well first off let me just say, im sorry that our feeling this way.
I feel in order to fully answer this i would have to know WHY specifically you broke up because the REASONS for why you did it could have started this.
The bottom line here is that its over. The choice you made to brake up with her also comes with the decision to cut all ties, (that includes mentally) something that you honestly should have been prepared to do when you made the conscious choice to brake up (especially if it was YOU and made that choice) its sort of a "you reap what you sew" situation in THAT aspect.
Heres what you should be asking yourself ok....
How do you ever expect to find someone new and/or BETTER if you keep all your attention turned towards those two?? by doing this, your not paying attention to what else is around you and your ignoring the other potentially good opportunities to enter your life!
No can fault you for feeling this way because we all know that feelings for someone dont just go away, it can be a slow process that one has to process and get through at their own pace, in their own time. On the flip side of this coin your shooting yourself in the foot and setting any kind of progress BACK by continuing to feed this idea that if you keep tabs on what their doing all the time that it will some how make you feel better when in reality its sabotaging your own efforts to move on. That is if your actually trying.....
good luck! ; )
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I'm 15, almost 16, female in 10th grade. I want to be in a relationship really bad, but I keep seeming to have problems with this. I had 1 boyfriend in the past but broke up with him in a week, I was scared to commit. Every time I get close to a guy (not physically) I suddenly freak out and avoid them. I always seem to find flaws in every guy as if it helps convince me why I shouldn't date them. I want to be in a relationship but I'm scared to commit and I think I'm scared to fall in love. How do I stop that? (link)
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I was this way too in high school but it was because there REALLY wasnt any guys that i liked!! their were ones that were attractive but dumb, or smart and ugly, or just wanted to get into my pants without any commitment! i was having none of it as a teen and ended up not dating but still was open enough to have guy friends. What this did for me was enable me to speak to guys truthfully and honestly and allow me to not be afraid to communicate what i really thought because we were just friends! it was actually REALLY beneficial for me in the long run because i didnt see them "like that" see what im getting at?
not every guy has to be a potential date. Being friends with guys can help you understand how different types of guys operate (and they can be surprisingly simple creatures) ; )
If a guy asks you out and you dont know him that well then ask if you can be friends first and get to know each other. This will show you what their intentions are, you can get to know the REAL them and over time decide if they are dateable and then go from there!
; )
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There's this boy in my class that I used to date, I broke up with him, but I think I might still love him. Its been a few months, so I thought he would pass, but he didn't. I want to date him, but I don't at the same time, and I dont know what to think anymore. I thought about talking to him about it, but I can't talk to people, somebody had to help me break up with him, because I had a panic attack when I was trying to tell him. It kind of seems selfisj to be that I want to date him, but I don't at the same time. Should I try to forget about him, or something else? I'm just so confused! (link)
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Sounds like you have alot of thinking to do and NOT just with your feelings. Try to remember that people who operate themselves based on their feelings are often times unstable, emotional people who have it harder in life because they are constantly thinking about everything in a "how does this make me FEEL?" sort of way instead of thinking practically, and logically to find a solution to whatever it is they are currently having a difficult time with.
Think about the real reasons WHY your thinking the things you are about him. Are they based on anything valid? perhaps a bad experience in the past? When you enter into a relationship, you run the risk of having to hurt someones feelings once in a while, thats just apart of life and theres no way around it so its probably better that you train yourself to get past this NOW or else life is going to be hard for you when it doesnt need to be.
Think it through before you do anything, because it sounds like you really do still like him because if you didnt why would you concern yourself with his feelings? why would you go and have a panic attack? maybe its because thats NOT really what you want and theres something else going on here your not mentioning.
good luck ; )
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i've been in love with the same guy for about 3 years. we've been dating for a little over a year. we've *lived* together for about 4 years.
i used to always look forward to him coming home. and i've never been more sexually attracted to a person as i am to him. but lately i've become almost bothered by his presence. idk if this is a fluke thing or if i'm seriously just not into it anymore. we haven't been fighting or anything, i'm just kind of bored i guess. we haven't had sex in two weeks. and i relish my alone time more than i do my time with him. i've felt like i was losing interest before,( and i know this happens a lot in relationships, especially when people live together,) but i've always found myself getting over it and feel like we're lovers and best friends again. but for about a week now i've been using any excuse i can to not see him. i feel smothered and trapped. we just signed another year lease on our apartment. i don't want to hurt him though, he's extraordinarily sensitive and can act like a little bitch sometimes. which is also bothersome. i need a man, not a girl. idk what to do. maybe it will change in a couple of days or something but for now, i just want him to leave me alone. (link)
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You sound a little selfish to be quite honest. Have you ever considered how much he cares about YOU? and maybe hes just more open with his feelings because he really loves you so he feels he can show that side of himself to you and thats what open honest relationships are all about.
Its sounds like your not ready to be in a committed relationship at all because you cant think about anyone elses feelings but your own from one moment to the next and its just all about what you want no one else really matters. Just because a guy shows feelings doesnt make him "a little bitch" either. He sounds more mature than you to put it bluntly and maybe you should save him the energy and go find a guy that treats you like a complete dick because hes probably "more of a man"
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i was just wondering how can i stop blushing when im talking to my crush and how can i stop liking my crush
thanks (link)
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well you could probably start by thinking of your crush as just another human being on this earth and not magical or special. lol.
Try to look past the looks and talk to him like he is your equal, hes not better than you at all in anyway. ; )
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Hi guys! My boyfriend quit smoking at the beginning of this month, April first. He mainly did it for me, I didn't like it and I want to keep him around as long as possible...obviously. So, when he reaches his one month mark of not smoking, I want to do something special for him but I can't really think of anything that I'm really stoked about doing for him, to really exemplify my love and appreciation.
So, if any of you guys have ideas, I would greatly appreciate it! I was thinking a little gift - he's been wanting a smart watch lately so I was thinking of looking into getting the one he has bookmarked on his amazon wish list. He just got a new car, I wanted to take it out and fill his tank for him so he didn't have to do that. Maybe bake him something. I just want to do something for him that really shows how much I appreciate him doing this for me and congratulate him for making it a month and for many months to come.
Again, any help is appreciated! I'm 21 and he is 23. (link)
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Those are all good ideas. I dont know where you live but if its starting to get warm yet you could have a friend take a picture of you guys together, print the picture out and then go online and order a box of live butterflies.
Put the picture at the bottom of the box, then take him to a park on a day out and get him to open the box and watch all the butterflies flutter out! and take photos of him while its happening too if you want!
good luck! ; )
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All my life ive always been the ugly friend or ugly girl. It doesnt bother me as much anymore cause ive learned to accept it but its the people around me that keep on reminding me about it. Ever since grade 9 people would ask me if i had a brother, i do have a brother but he is 5 years younger than me so it wouldve been impossible for them to refering to him. So i would ask why and they would say i looked like this guy. Now grade 12 i finally figured out who the guy was and hes not really attractive to me so when a girl finally told me i looked like i could be his twin she said dont be offended because hes "Nice" that made me pissed off even more. I just want to know what its like to be the pretty girl im tired of being the girl where when someone jokes about dating me they say ew. In tired of watching my friends have boyfriends and i just stay at the sidelines im tired of guys treating me like im invisible im tired of girls always calling me ugly not directly but its obvious im tired of my dad telling me im pretty everyday because hes aware of my low-self esteem it just makes me feel worse. Also a couple days ago i went prom dress shopping and my dad said your prom is in 3 months and you still dont have a date what is wrong with you i know if it were your sister or brother they wouldve had one by now. News flash dad you have an ugly daughter. Anyways my question is what is it like to be the pretty girl and how can i fix my self esteem, ive tried wearing makeup because my dad and mom always beg me to wear it but i dont knkw the basics to wearing makeup i know that wearing makeuo wont fix my self-esteem in fact if my self-esteem is already low makeuo will probably make me feel more insecure cause then i wouldnt wanna be seen without it. Please help (link)
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"All my life ive always been the ugly friend or ugly girl. It doesnt bother me as much anymore cause ive learned to accept it but its the people around me that keep on reminding me about it. Ever since grade 9 people would ask me if i had a brother, i do have a brother but he is 5 years younger than me so it wouldve been impossible for them to refering to him. So i would ask why and they would say i looked like this guy. Now grade 12 i finally figured out who the guy was and hes not really attractive to me so when a girl finally told me i looked like i could be his twin she said dont be offended because hes "Nice" that made me pissed off even more."
Do you think it could be possible that the girl that said you could be this guys twin meant that you look like you could be RELATED? and not that you literally look like a guy? Sounds like thats what she meant and that YOUR just taking it the wrong way hunny. Stop taking everything so personally.
"I just want to know what its like to be the pretty girl im tired of being the girl where when someone jokes about dating me they say ew. In tired of watching my friends have boyfriends and i just stay at the sidelines im tired of guys treating me like im invisible im tired of girls always calling me ugly not directly but its obvious im tired of my dad telling me im pretty everyday because hes aware of my low-self esteem it just makes me feel worse."
Then try NOT hanging out with people that say things liek that to you. Try speaking up and saying something to one of the few friends you have to will listen, understand, and tell everyone else not to say things like that when your around.
Dont be mad at your parents because your always going to be their "baby" and all parents think their children are beautiful. They say things like that out of love. If you were a parent you might understand that.
"Also a couple days ago i went prom dress shopping and my dad said your prom is in 3 months and you still dont have a date what is wrong with you i know if it were your sister or brother they wouldve had one by now."
You dont HAVE to have a prom to go to prom. You should probably tell him that. Alot people go with just their girlfriends and its still just as special. It has nothing to do with looks. Voice your discontent with his comments and to stop comparing you to your siblings.
"my question is what is it like to be the pretty girl and how can i fix my self esteem, ive tried wearing makeup because my dad and mom always beg me to wear it but i dont knkw the basics to wearing makeup i know that wearing makeuo wont fix my self-esteem in fact if my self-esteem is already low makeuo will probably make me feel more insecure cause then i wouldnt wanna be seen without it. Please help"
Its not really about your looks, its about how you carry yourself, how out spoken you are, and your vibe. Try walking with some confidence, look straight ahead, ignore anyone that might be looking at you that doesnt know you and pretty soon they will WANT to get to know you because just in the way your walking down the street, you look like you know what your doing and have it together (at least to some degree) If you need help with make up you can walk into a MAC store and tell them that you need to find a shade of foundation that matches your skin well, and they will help you find what looks right. Just tell them you havent been able to find a shade that closely matches. ; )
You can always go on youtube and look up tutorials about make up and watch what their doing and go from there. We all have to start somewhere when it comes to things like this so dont be ashame because you dont know how. Its like anything else in life. ITS LEARNED.
I dont know what exactly to tell you about self esteem but one thing i DO know is that if you choose to believe that your ugly based on what other people think of you then its going to just get worse later down the road. Theres no use in believing everything you hear, even when its from people that supposedly care for you. You have a brain of your own and if you know you have value then flaunt it. everyone has something special to contribute to this world, you just have to find what yours is.
; )
edited: foundation is meant to EVEN out your skin tone, not disguise or "cover" flaws (just so you know) And if you dont have the money to spend on make up then tell them to start buying if it for you if they want you to wear it THAT badly. THEN see what they do.
Tell your mom what your dad is saying, im sure that on some level she will find it wrong and possibly speak to him about it.
Ignore certain comments, parents can say things sometimes that are sort off the cuff and make mistakes too. When i went to my prom with my guy and another couple we knew, we ended up just sitting at our table the whole time and watching other groups of people who had come WITHOUT dates together dancing and honestly its looked like they were having way more fun.
i got ONE dance out of my guy and it was the last one at the end of the effing night! ((alot of guys dont like to dance)) and girls do, so to ME going with a groups of girls could be alot more fun.
Tell your parent to stop putting the same expectations they have for your other siblings on you (like the make up thing or the dating thing) your each different and that needs to be recognized.
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I've been told by a few men that I've had crushes on and I approached, "You're too good for me and I don't deserve you" Huh? How is someone too good for someone? I have a good head on my shoulders, a good job, and I take care of business like a woman should, I have morals, values and self-respect... how challenging can that be for a man?
I had asked this guy out last year and he said lets just stay friends, I said yeah ok....and then a week ago he came out the sky blue and said you're too good for me and I don't deserve you...WTH? (link)
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Heres the problem ok. (cause ive gotten this so many times i cant even count, luckily i found a guy who was up to the challenge and he says he couldnt be happier)
Guys who have sort of a low expectation of themselves will also have the same of a partner. They can also be intimated because they feel your really going places in life and that they cannot compete with that. They dont want to feel like they cant be "the man" and so WE as successful females end up basically getting punished for having our lives together.
Before my hubby i was a rising model, making good money, working for two major clothing stores, going to school, driving. i mean everything, and the guys around me LIKED ME but were afraid of me because i was an equal. I was just as smart as them and could have intelligent conversations with them and see through any B.S. (not that i would jump to conclusions of was ever mean about it) But i had ALOT of "male admirers" and male friends who (because they saw me as an equal) it somehow made me not girlfriend or wife material?? (thats a head scratcher I KNOW) And those guy friends ALWAYS ended up getting together with dumber, low on the scale of intelligence and job levels, and somehow seemed to like it!
It could just be the guys your going after who knows. But for ME its was intimidating to be smart, well rounded, and have my own life going on. Find a guy who has his life going on and youll find your equal! ; )
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I ama girl from Bangladesh. I am 17 yrs old n my bf is 25. We love each other like everything. I was in an abusive relationship the for 1.5 yrs n he helped me get out of it. Now we r together for the last 5 months. We know each other for about 2 yrs now. My present bf is jst perfect. N i love him. He treats me like a princess and plays wid me like a doll. He has a stable job n is too handsome. Bt d prob strts whnevr i get angry wid him he hurts himself. He doesnt tell me anything. Whenever i am angry he says sorry even its my fault. Bt it hurts me if he hurts himself 4 me. How can i tell him not to hurt himself?
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Maybe you could try telling him that when he hurts himself that it makes you angry. ; ) (((a little bit of reverse psychology))) Tell him that if he doesnt agree with something that happening that he needs to say something because your willing to talk things out but trying to pretend nothing is wrong is not a real relationship. Its fake, and if this relationship has even the slightest chance of working then you have to both be able to communicate about things.
Try to pay closer attention to him for a while after that chat with him and see how he acts. Try to ask him what HE wants when your together and/or out and you have to chose something (like to eat) if he suggests something and your not sure then just TRY giving his idea a shot (you never know you might like it) and its a peek into the things HE likes.
thats just one example but i hope it helps.
good luck ; )
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i have a very lot of anxiety and i worry a lot in our relationship. how do i detach from him? like i want to still love him, but i want to detach in the way where the things he does won't upset me and i could care less and still love him as much as i do now. he doesnt do bad things, its just he chooses games over me sometimes and doesnt do stuff the way thatll make me feel like im important to him. i dont want to try to chahge him to make me happy, so how can i detach where those things wont bother me? can you please give me steps and tips pretty pretty please??? (link)
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Well you dont need to detach in order to not allow the things he does to bother you. If you have your own friends and a life outside of your man then it'll matter LESS because you have other people in your life that make you happy and not just him. Hobbies, friends that are in the same stage in life as you are, and doing things that feed your soul FOR YOU are all very important in life. Not just having a man and putting all your eggs in one basket so to speak. This is why they say that having friends still even if you have a man is so important and now your starting to feel it. Alot of people cant admit that, but if you can, its the first step in changing for the better. We're ALL a constant work in progress and thats never going to change.
Next, you need to talk to him about these things in a serious manner and see what kind of reaction you get from him. If he doesnt take it seriously and blows you off and acts like your over reacting or some other kind typical "guy" response then you know what you need to do next. Its time to reevaluate the relationship. This is the time where you need to decide what kind of a partner you really want.
there are people who do something i like to call "standing still" in life. These people are perfectly OKAY with where they are in life and never want better for themselves. Then theres people who DO, they are always on the look out for the better job, the things that will take them further in life for the betterment of their family and or partner and WANT to provide you with a nice comfortable, happy life. These people encourage their partners (you) to chase your dreams, and think of you when you arent with them if they see something they know you'd love and grab what they see might be an oppertunity FOR YOU even if you arent with them JUST to bring it home for you on the off chance that you just might want to take advantage of it! = )
Thats the kind of partner you should have. Its the kind we all want to look for, and its what you deserve. Dont under value yourself, thats the worst form of self sabotage out there.
Decide who you want to run along side in this jog through life because you only get one shot....will it be the guy who would rather play video games? or will it be the guy who comes home and says "while i was out i saw this and i thought you might love it"???
Partners encourage each other for reach for better even if it means they have to take on longer hours at work so that they can make more money to reach that ultimate dream because NOTHING is permanent in this life, as hard as we might try to keep it that way.
good luck ; )
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Do you guys think if a 13 year old is talking to or dating a 15 year old is it ok
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Well, to ME that depends on their personalities. Alot of times, girls mature faster than boys so their a bit more adept at things and can often times be good judges of character.
I think so long as their intentions are both good, and no one is trying to pressure anyone into doing anything they dont want to do then i dont see a problem no.
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This not I am quite into that I have been dying to be asked out by just did. All my friends think he is a jerk. But I kinda like him. What do I do?😖
-Brooklyn💖💖 (link)
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Well if all your friends think hes a jerk. think first about WHY they think that way.....did he do something to them? or does he do bad things?? sometimes your closest girlfriends can see what you cant because your blinded by feelings and their not. Sometimes they can see someone for who they really are and because their your friends and (usually) just want whats best for you then you should take what their saying into consideration. They were in your life before him and they'll be there after him to pick up the pieces when he hurts you and maybe their trying to warn you ahead of time.
So be guarded, go ahead and give him a chance if you want to, but just know that you were warned ahead of time so whatever you get yourself into is on you and no one else. This is what comes with the territory when dating in adult life so just make sure your heart is ready to deal with that should things go downhill.
Now, on the flip side they may just be saying some of these things because their afraid they'll lose you or once your with him, you wont hang out with them anymore ever.
This is another part of life your going to have to learn to deal with, youll have to learn to make time for your friends still as well as your boyfriend. (should he become that)
Remember that you cant wrap your whole life up in guys ok. You still will ALWAYS need your best girls because they'll be the ones that will be there for you after things go down and hes long gone, so you need to make sure you treat them with just as much importance as your man. The saying "all you need is your man" could not be more wrong. You still need to do things that feed your soul, make you happy, and content in life LIKE going places and doing fun things with your friends. If this is their fear then you need to talk to them about it and let them know that they will never lose you even if you have a man.
Theres a special connection that all females (who are real friends) have with each other that males will never understand and you still will need those connections no matter what.
; )
good luck, youll be fine
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So i just made a fool from myself cause i texted him this morning "hey mister where you hiding you have been quiet suma go MIA on me..hope u ok and nt working to hard and stf..you being missed,oh and im seeing you saterday neh lol no questions asked..hope to see and hear from you soonest
Enjoy your day
PS let me knw.....that was my text to him this mornig..im not obssesd with hm or wateva i just want hm to know i care and things but it seems like i care to much...you said its oves so il leave him alone..im sorry i just ddnt want to lose him but it seems like i did so its my fault coz i care to much..what do i do now just leave hm (link)
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Listen your just hanging on and trying to dig your claws in and thats not what he needs. He (as a male) needs to know that if he chooses not to be with you that HES missing out here ok. Not you.
Its ok to let someone know you care but your taking it way to far now. Let him have his space and if he comes back he comes back. Relationships takes two people and if he doesnt want to meet you half way then theres nothing you can do, you cant force it ok. Set him free, and should he wake up one day and regret what he did HE will be the one losing sleep over you. It shouldnt be the other way around.
Look to the future, and dont be afraid to let the good things in. Dont shut yourself off completely cause youll miss the good things the future has in store for you.
good luck, your very kind and obviously caring, which means youll EASILY find a new guy just give it time. ; )
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Hey thanks for your advice :)
I was wondering what to do in the mean time while she is being a bit short and such. Should I just leave her be for the moment and not contact her often or just act like its nothing.
Any help is appreciated cause I am very confused. (link)
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Just ask her if shes feeling ok since she mentioned that her period was coming and you thought she might not be feeling well. Act sympathetic and concerned for her but understanding and kind. Listen to whatever shes saying and try not to be confrontational right now. Girls on their periods can sometimes say things they dont mean out of emotion because of the PMS and the drop in hormones. They can become very easily upset over small things, and since you havent been dating very long you dont know how bad her periods get (all girls are different) and some have worse symptoms than others.
Just say things like "awww im sorry well let me know when your feeling better or if theres anything i can get you and when its over we can go out again and have some fun!"
Your still getting to know each other basically from what i got from your original post so just try to not smother her but go ahead and let her know that your here for her if theres anything you can do. ; )
good luck
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I really like this boy in my class. He is super sweet and I have known him for a long time. I have liked him for as long as I can remember, and he used t like me too. Last year, I traveled, and did not go to the school that we both go to. When I was gone, he liked me, but now that I am back, I am not so sure. He likes another girl, and we are complete opposites! He isn't in any of my classes (except 1) and knows I like him. How do I get him to finally like me again? Him and this other girl are all anyone is talking about, but I just feel awkward whenever anyone brings it up. Is there ever a chance with him? (link)
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Awww well ive had this happen actually with good guy friends but it was the other way around.
Firstly try to remember that guys really are simple creatures, they may not know at this young age what exactly they want in a female girlfriend and it certainly doesnt mean that shes replaced you if he liked you first! ; )
Find ways and opportunities to talk to him. Hit him up, ask him hows hes doing, tell him you know its been a while and you just wanted to say hi. Things like that.
Find out where he goes after school if he lives in the same city and go there! talk to his friends and hang out with them.
good luck
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Hey
I started seeing this new girl. We have been on several dates and they've always been good and fun. Last Tuesday we went out and it was great but she has been kinda distant with me since. I'm not delusional we made out at the end and everything so I know it went well. She had mentioned that she was getting her period soon so maybe that's what I'm thinking she's been distant all of a sudden. Up until this week we've been texting non-stop and whatever.
So I guess my question is do girls on there periods, not saying all girls, act in this kinda off way?
Also we did go out for food yday and it was fun but she said she wasn't feeling great so I'm probably just answering my own question here. (link)
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Theres a good chance that yes, shes not feeling good because her period is coming. Alot of times youll discover that its actually the days or (about a week) beforfe the actual period that she'll be feeling moody, fatigued, cloudy headed, and just not up to things and she usually would be BEFORE the actual period comes.
She might have been quiet because she knows she has PMS and didnt want to say anything that might sound angry or emotional and hurt your feelings. If theres nothing going on then i doubt theres really anything to worry about and she wants to be with you but shes just not feeling good right now. ; )
dont worry, he'll probly be back to herself in a few days
good luck
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I still havent heard from him its been 4days since he send me that text and 3 days that i texted him but stl no response..should i mayb send a text to find out if his okay or should i just leave it and give it more time mayb i wl hear frm him and if not leave hm alne (link)
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Listen you have to stop obsessing ok. If he cares about you HE will get back to YOU and let you know whats going on. Any relationship between too people is supposed to be a team effort. It takes two people to be in a relationship of ANY kind (even a friendship) and if someone knows you, cares about you, and thinks youll worry then they will know they should do the right thing and contact you.
To ME, right now his actions are speaking for themselves. Hes NOT contacting you back my dear. Its over obviously....He doesnt care about you as much as you do of him. You need to except that and move on. It sounds like your really emotionally invested here and hes not at the same place as you are. Its not your fault or his, this is just something that happens sometimes in life. The best thing you can do now is just be more careful about how much your willing to go out on a limb for people your interested in and be SURE that they are doing things that show you they are just as invested and interested as you.
good luck ; )
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im girl, in 3rd year in high school and im shy....i really like one guy in my school..he is about year older than me so he is in 4th grade but the problem is that we dont know each other obviously...i just see him on hall or on some school events sometimes..i would really like to meet him but im shy and also how can i start talk to him when we are in different school year...i know that some of girls in my class have him as a friend on facebook.im not that outgoing as girls in my class so i dont know many people from higher grade...i would be weird if i added him on fb and he wouldnt have known who i am...so what should i do..how should i let him know that i like him when i see him only on hall at school or when there is some school event (link)
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Well if you know that some of your friends are friend with him on facebook then request his friendship and then say "heyyy i seen you beforeeee your friends with one of my good friends (insert name here) and then when he sees you at school the connection will be closer because you both mutually know a bunch of other people.
Keep it friendly on facebook, wink, give smiles, if you know hes into any sports say that you thought you saw him playing and that he was pretty good! and let him do the talking and just work off that! = )
Is he into any sports or anything you could relate to that maybe other friends or family members of yours are into also? FIND things to talk to him about. When he has to leave or cant talk anymore just keep it really friendly and allow him to leave, make the interactions FEEL easy and natural.
When your in person together, ask if you can borrow his pen or something to write with, act like you forgot yours and then if you cab KEEP the pen for a day or two so that you have another excuse to walk back up to him at any time and give him the pen back. If hes in front of his friends thats ok too! Then say "HEYY!! i forgot to give you your pen back! thanks for letting me borrow it! hahaha" Always smile, when your leaving him, say "ok see ya laterr!!" this give him the impression that your definitely OK with seeing him later (whenever that is) If someone acts weird about you saying see ya later to him just say that you say that to everyone and act like their the weird one for even bringing it up. ; )
good luck ; )
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