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he hurts himself
I ama girl from Bangladesh. I am 17 yrs old n my bf is 25. We love each other like everything. I was in an abusive relationship the for 1.5 yrs n he helped me get out of it. Now we r together for the last 5 months. We know each other for about 2 yrs now. My present bf is jst perfect. N i love him. He treats me like a princess and plays wid me like a doll. He has a stable job n is too handsome. Bt d prob strts whnevr i get angry wid him he hurts himself. He doesnt tell me anything. Whenever i am angry he says sorry even its my fault. Bt it hurts me if he hurts himself 4 me. How can i tell him not to hurt himself?
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Tell him that you're not happy when he hurts himself. And for the meantime, avoid being angry with him. Or like, whenever you guys have problem, talk it out quickly and fix it. Also say sorry to him and comfort him especiallh when it's your fault.
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Hello!! :)
I had gone through a similar situation in one of my previous relationships. Except mine was an emotionally abusive relationship. I would become angry at some of the things he'd do and he'd unfortunately take it out on himself, showing me his self-injuries to make me feel like the bad guy. I didn't do the right thing, because I was just about as mentally ill as he was. I didn't know what to do, so I self-injured myself. (The way our relationship ended is a whole big story that is totally irrelevant.)
If I was as emotionally stable and overcame my mental illness like currently, I would've treated the situation with more compassionate care. If I were you, I would sit him down, take his hand and carefully bring him into a sweet, sympathetic and genuinely loving conversation. <3 Reassure him that he isn't actually the reason you're angry. Only you are the one who can control the flow of your emotions. No one else. Negative emotions are an internal problem, as I see it.
Next time you feel yourself getting angry at him, resist your urge to act on it. Resisting your urge to act on your anger (like say you yell at him when you're angry), you will eventually feel yourself become calmer the more you practice resisting. (I've been doing this for a while now and it has done wonders! :'D) Along with that tip, you can also remind yourself of the fantastically magnificent qualities of your boyfriend! I do this when I am angry at my boyfriend and I rarely ever do now! :)
If the problem continues even after this, seek professional help for him! Don't hesitate; he'll appreciate it eventually. <3
Wishing you the best of luck in your situation! <3
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Hi!
The best thing to do is to talk to him about this situation. Sit down with him and ask him why! If the problem gets any worse then I'd suggest for you to take him to a therapist. In my opinion, I think it's just insecurity. I think sometimes he feels as if maybe he's not good enough. He shows you a lot of affection as I can tell, but you need to give him the same affection as well. I hope this helps, and I hope he gets better.
-Swimmer133
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Maybe you could try telling him that when he hurts himself that it makes you angry. ; ) (((a little bit of reverse psychology))) Tell him that if he doesnt agree with something that happening that he needs to say something because your willing to talk things out but trying to pretend nothing is wrong is not a real relationship. Its fake, and if this relationship has even the slightest chance of working then you have to both be able to communicate about things.
Try to pay closer attention to him for a while after that chat with him and see how he acts. Try to ask him what HE wants when your together and/or out and you have to chose something (like to eat) if he suggests something and your not sure then just TRY giving his idea a shot (you never know you might like it) and its a peek into the things HE likes.
thats just one example but i hope it helps.
good luck ; )
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