ask iwantthetruth



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



Hello, my name is Sam. There's a lot that I can say about myself, but if you'd like that then you could always message me and we can have a nice cup of tea together :D

I am not very old, so I might not have too much life experience, but I do like to help people. I know that life often throws unexpected blows at people, but I am so extremely optimistic. Hopefully some of my optimism will rub off on the people to whom I am giving advice. I am happy to help with anything! :)


Gender: Female
Location: California
Age: 17
Member Since: February 24, 2007
Answers: 477
Last Update: October 17, 2011
Visitors: 29132

Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
View All

Favorite Columnists
GilbertMar
xcheerbabex108
yarmica
seriouslyteenangel
LoveMeDo
runawayxlove
I'm 14 (female) and I like a guy a lot but I've just found out from my friend that he smokes weed along with loads of other guys from my year. The problem is I still like him a bit because I cant really believe it...what should I do about it and should I carry on as if I dont know and that everything is normal?? (link)
Hey. I feel like at least from what I've seen in high school and college, a lot of young people these days use marijuana. I'm not saying that I advocate for or even against it, but the truth is that you're bound to meet people who do. I also don't want to sterotype anyone who does smoke weed. I'm from california so weed smokers are literally everywhere. However, I feel like what one chooses to do with his body is a personal decision. A person who does smoke weed isn't less of a good person or automatically undatable. Of course it depends on you. Would it upset you to be around someone who smoke regularly? Are you strongly against the use of weed? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. Also, remember that he has a lot of other qualities as well. Try to see if the weed smoking is the center of his life. I've met people who smoke recreationally and also those who are high at all times of the day. Is he smart? Nice? Thoughtful? Fun? You shouldn't act like you know that he smokes and definitely don't tell him that you know. Be the same as you have been in the past and try to see if he's the type of boy that you are looking for. If he isn't then it'll be fine; you'll move on and find a boy who does fit the description of what you're looking for. I hope everything works out for the best.
Good luck


19/f so there's this guy who sits behind me in english class. we talk a lot. and i flirt with him and he flirts with me. I've noticed that when i am doing something at me he'll stare at me, and doesn't think i see him, but i do, and i do the same to him. well he also smiled at me in class and then looked down and and smiled. i think i made it a little obvious. but i can't really tell if he really likes me. He tease me, like in class if i say something wrong he'll correct me, and when i walked in class one day he said your late, and i was like thanks mom? lol so idk and today i asked him for gum and he said he had some in his car. my class is on the third floor so i took the stairs, and he going in the same direction. and i asked him if he was following me but he just said what. and whenever i would turn around and kind of look in his direction he would smile. and ii kind of slowed down and he walked next to me and asked me if i wanted some gum in my car since i asked for some earlier. and he gave me some. it was weird because i wasn't sure what to say to him. i felt like he knows i like him and wanted to say something but i couldn't. i felt stupid for not saying anything, but at the same time i kept telling myself that he was probably just being nice, and to stop getting in over my head. in class i asked my friend if i should ask him to hangout. except for when i talked to her i said should i hang out with her? to not make it obvious. but he was smiling at me when i turned around so i think he knew i was talking about him. haha we talk outside of class like on other days when i see him around school. i mean does he like me? haha (link)
Hello.

The thing is, it's just as likely that he does like you or that he doesn't like you. I mean, yes, smiles and niceness are sometimes signs of flirting, but they are also signs of friendliness. I don't want to sound bitter, but I went for many months convinced that a guy liked me because it was oh so obvious to me. I finally told him how I felt and was surprized to find out that he had no interest in me.

So what I learned from this little experience is that a guy will typically pursue a girl that he is interested in. How long have you known him? If it has been many months already and he still hasn't tried to hang out with you or ask you on a date, then he probabyly doesn't want to. But if you've only known him for a few weeks, then maybe he is working up to it. Maybe he is trying to figure out whether or not you are interested. But see, that's the trouble with crushes: The more time you invest in them, the more time you pine over someone without taking definitive action, the more complicated it becomes. Regardless of whether or not he seems to like you or not, your instincts are in the right place. Asking him to hang out is a great idea. If he tries to avoid hanging out with you, then you'll know he isn't interested. If he agrees to hang out, then you have some potential. And, if the hang out goes well, then there can be future hang outs and happy outcomes :).

I don't know if he likes you. You don't know if he likes you. And no matter how much you analyze the signs the he is giving you, you and this guy aren't going to go anywhere unless someone takes initiative. So go for it! :D

Good luck and take care.




ohkay so i wanna break up with my boyfriend bhut everytime i do he pulls me back in because i think hes cheating on me everytime he updates his status it sayss 11-3-10 and our date is 9-22-10 and hes always telling me that its his court date or his baby bro bday but it says i dont ever want to end us and its a new lie everyday and he keeps saying how he doesnt cheat on girls and he wont ever do it to me and i dont what to do anymoree (link)
Hello.

If he keeps lying to you and you've caught him at it, then he's obviously hiding something. It might not be another girl, but the fact that he needs to keep things from you is suspicious enough. You really don't need all the stress of a relationship filled with lies. Break up with him before he starts pulling you back again. The more time you let pass by, the less you'll want to let him go. Get him out of your life and drop all contact with him if you can. That way he won't try to persuade you to get back together. You can do this and you want to do this, so don't let anything hold you back. You'll be better off without him.

Take care.


there is this i guy i like. Im like best friends with his family. I stay over their house alot so i know practically their whole family and they have a huge family. Their family is close. Me and him are the same age and so people always say stuff like maybe you guys like each other. We both just deny it and smile. We are completely different so I think he thinks that i would never like him. My little cousin once was like melanie likes you and i was like no i dont she is just lying and he was like yeah i dont think she would say something like that plus he knows that my little cousin adores him so he believed me but in reality i do like him i like him alike. Im just tired of him not knowing. I dont want him to find another girl. I dont want to tell him because i dont want to make it awkward between the family and me. Even though their family likes me and treats me like im their family. I dont think they ever have thoughts of me and him dating. I dont want the whole family to know anyways. I just want him to know that I like him. Im shy also so i cant just tell him. He does have a picture of me and his sister in his bible. So i think thats kind of a big deal cuz why would he have a pic of me in there. But he isnt living at home he is in another country till next year so im not planning on anything till then and i would be almost graduating. So what should i do? and how should i? Im confused and he is always on my mind and i dont want him too like any other girl. O yeah i cant text him or facebook him because him and his sister share a phone and he doesnt have myspace or facebook or anything like that (link)
Hello.

Wow, I can really relate to this; actually, i think a lot of people can relate. You're never going to get the answer to your question unless you just admit your feelings. Sure, you COULD wait around for him to maybe, someday tell you that he likes you, but that may never happen. If he hasn't told you in all these years, then it's unlikely that he'll come out with his feelings now.

So I think you idea to be straightforward is a great idea. Wait for him to come back, and when you two are alone together, just tell him. The exact words that you use don't matter. Just make him understand that you don't want this to come between your friendship and that you would appreciate it if he didn't tell his family about it. Telling him will bring a resolution to all your wondering and will also take a huge weight off of your shoulders. Holding in your feelings in is pretty stressful in itself.

Also, maybe this is just me, but whenever I have told a guy how I feel about him and he has told me that he only likes me as a friend, it actually makes it really easy to move on. Sure, it hurts at first, but I also feel really glad and relieved. Part of what keeps us so enthralled with someone is the mystery of whether or not they like us. Once we figure out how they feel we are no longer living in some fantasy land, but in reality. I'm sure you don't want to go on liking him forever and wondering "what if." Take the risk and tell him how you feel. You'll feel much better afterward.

Good luck and take care.



13/f
12/m

ok so theres this guy who i really like. he is nice sweet. yells out that im beautiful in the middle of class. has asked me out twice. texts me almost everyday even thought it cost him 40 cents a text and he is really nice. but ive had 2 say no wen he asked me out because my parents wont let me have a boyfriend. he even said hell wait 2 years 2 be able 2 go out with me in high school what should i do??? and i cant go out with him and not tell my parents because 1.) i wont b able 2 go on any dates with him
2.)if my parents find out ill lose my fone my ipod my tv tha laptop tha computer ect.
so please help me. thankyou (link)
Hello.

Well you are kind of young, from a parent's perspective. When I was 13 my parents definitely didn't let me date, and even now, at 17, my dad still gets a little tense in the face at the idea of me having a boyfriend. Is it possible for you two to just "date" at school? I feel like middle school relationships probably don't really require dates or any of that. Anyhow, if you wanted to hang out with him outside of school, you could always go with other people so as not to make it look suspicious. I'm not advocating for you to go behind your parents' backs, but I think the main concern for parents is that you'll somehow get "hurt" either by the guy or by the heartbreak. Relationships are tricky and especially now there is so much pressure to do things that you may or may not be ready for. I'll spare you the rest of the lecture. Point is: Your parents probably aren't going to change their minds anytime soon, so your best bet is to just settle for what you can do. Have a school boyfriend and maybe go to school dances and out with friends from time to time. Make the best of it! It can still be fun and eventually you can really date a boy.

Take care


I am very confused about guys (hence the title) and I found myself asking me a few questions. See, I like my best friend, whom I'm not sure likes me back. I've like him for 2 years. But a few select times, I find myself thinking about another guy as well. And I find out that I have a small crush on another guy, as well as really liking my best friend. Am I some kind of whore? Is it because my best friend might not like me? Is it because I want a boyfriend? I'm so confused!! (link)
Hello.

A "WHORE"?!? What? noooooo.
Liking two people at once does not make you anywhere near a whore. This is definitely normal. There are so many nice, attractive young men in the world, so liking two at the same time is bound to happen eventually. Besides, like you said, it isn't as though you're obsessed with both. Crushes are fun distractions and they happen all the time. Your crush on the other boy might not have anything to do with your crush on your best friend. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty or wrong about liking the other guy.

But since you like your best friend much more, you should try to figure out if he does like you. Have you tried figuring out body language or maybe if your friend seems to pay extra attention to you? Since you guys are super close anyways, you could ask him to go to a movie or something and see how he acts when you two are alone. I'm not saying you need to tell him it's a date. Keep it casual and you can try to notice if he feels the same way. If you find out that he doesn't seem to like you that way, then at least you'll be free to know that you tried. Luckily, there's no need to "mess up your friendship" by proclaiming your crush.

Take care & good luck!


I am a female senior in highschool and I currently like a guy who is a freshman. He's three years younger than me. Is that wrong? What should I do? I'm afraid to tell anybody because I think I'll get teased, but on the other hand I really like the guy and hes way mature for his age :) Help! Im so confused. (link)
Hello!

I can definitely relate to this and don't find it "wrong" at all! (I'm biased) We can't control what age people are, when they were born, etc. If he's so amazing then you should definitely go for it. Imagine if you were a freshman and a senior liked you. I know a couple that lasted years after high school and they were the same ages as you and this boy. They went to prom together and everything, very cute indeed. I think it would be very flattering to be liked by someone older, so if anything, this boy should feel honored :). I don't think that you'll be teased. Just tell your closest friends about it, and maybe...tell him as well. I don't know how close you two are, but it would be good to ask him to hang out sometime or just to try to be closer to him first. Go for it! YAY!

Good luck!


what do i do im goin with a boy nd ive jst meet a new boy nd im kind of a goin with him nd a dnt want to dump any of them cozz there really nice nd i got a message from my first boyfriend saying i love u shannon yer gorjiss :s (link)
Hello.

Hmm, well what if these two boyfriends found out about eachother? Then you would probably be boyfriendless. Personally, I think it's dishonest to have to boyfriends at once, unless of course they both know about it and the three of you are okay with it (but that's a really rare situation). Options:

1. Be honest with both of them about having two boyfriends
2. Keep one of your boyfriends. Try to make a rational decision based on which of these two guys you care about more or relate to more.

Also, try to think about their feelings. It's not very fun to give someone your whole heart when that person is only giving you half. Please be considerate and be mature. Also, like someone else has already said, your first boyfriend seems to have some spelling issues. I'm not saying that that reflects poorly on his character, but intelligence might be another factor to consider here.

Good luck.


Ok so a year or so ago, I met a guy through one of my best friends. He had only split up from his girlfriend less than a month (he was with her for 2 years) I didn't find this out until after I started dating him. Do you think I was the rebound? I think I was. Anyway I broke up with him over some differences we had. We remained sorta friends in the meantime. He started dating another girl and he has only broken up with her for just over a month. He broke up with her, but I know he still loves her and thinks about her all the time (he told someone I know this) He has started talking to me again and flirting with me, is he just using me to get over her? I know he kissed her last week and she kissed him back but then she told him she doesn't want anything to do with him (link)
Hello.

Though he may "like" you, it's strange how he tends to come to you after break ups. :/
I think the question here is HOW MUCH he likes you. I think you deserve better than being a second choice to someone. There's this saying that I've heard: "Don't make someone your priority when you are just their option." It sounds harsh, I know, but hopefully you can take this experience for what it's worth and try move on. If you stop talking to him altogether then it will be easier to move on. Someday you'll find a guy for whom you are the first and only choice!

Take care.


ok so this is gonna seem weird but sometimes i picture a guy who i would think would make the perfect boyfriend like i imagine scenerios where me and this guy are together and what it would be like its not like hes an imaginary because i know he doesnt exist i just kind of picture what it would be like to have a perfect boyfriend and i picture those movie scenes and want them to be my life i feel like im super weird though so is that weird?! (link)
Hello.

No no no! Not weird at all. Unless of course I am also a werido :). Honestly, tons of girls and guys do this as well.

You probably have an active imagination. I'm also guessing that you don't have a crush on anyone at the moment, otherwise you might be pining over him instead. Love makes people all giddy inside, be it fantasy, infatuation, or the real deal. As long as your fantasies are just fun and aren't actually making you upset in real life, then I don't see a problem here. Also, it's good to have high expectations for a guy. That way when you do eventually find a boyfriend you'll ensure that he'll be an amazing guy. Yay! Everyone's happy!

Take care :).


I read in Cosmo awhile back that guys like to "chase" after girls and that if you let them think you're easy and will always be around then they're more likely to cheat or not care as much about you. My boyfriend is a pretty good guy and I don't think he'd cheat on me but I don't want to risk it. We talk like every 2 days and I see him at least 3 times a week at school. We don't really go on dates too often but like once every 2 weeks maybe we'll go to a movie or get pizza together. Should I ignore him for awhile to keep him after me? HOw long is a good time range so he still desires me? (link)
Hello.

OY! Mind games are very very dangerous. I mean, this is your boyfriend we're talking about here, and ignoring him is likely to result in hurting him. :( How would you feel if your boyfriend suddenly stopped talking to you or wanting to hang out with you?

I'm sure that what Cosmo was trying to get at is that one should not be "clingy." Don't call your boyfriend every second of every day and don't make him the center of your life. But other than that you really don't have to go out of your way to avoid him. He's a nice guy like you said and I actually think that playing mind games will increase the chances that he would cheat on you or break up with you. He likes you for who you are, so please don't change your behavior now.

And actually, I think that you see your boyfriend less than most school-age couples do, which is good and very unclingy :). Just keep balancing school, friends, and your boyfriend, and everything should be fine.

Take care.


I really like this guy we are going to the mall tomorrow as a GRoup I really wanna ask him out but idk how or what to say.I know this seems pathetic but i have never aqsked a guy help.Any advice?

THNX IN ADVANCE
TINK2359 (link)
Hello.

NOOOO this is not pathetic! It's adorable :).

Okay so you're going to the mall. I assume at least one of your friends that you are going with knows that you like him? Maybe you could tell her to help you set up some kind of thing to get the two of you alone. Like maybe she could say she'll be right back and leave you two alone. I suppose you would also have to get rid of the rest of the group O.o...hmm well I suppose you could also just tell him that you want to tell him something/ask him something privately.

Once you get him alone you can ask him out. Are you asking him to be your boyfriend or to go out on a date?
Well either way, you could say something like

"So, I want to tell you something. Well I like you and I was wondering if you want to hang out sometime."

The exact words don't matter as much as getting the point across. Nervousness is cute and I'm sure he'll think so as well :).

PS: I'm wondering if you have any idea as to his feelings for you? It might be helpful to know this just so that you aren't disappointed. But if you don't know and still want to ask him out then that's fine! More girls should be bold and say how they feel! It's very admirable what you are planning on doing :).

Good luck and take care.



F/16 I have this amazing boyfriend who I've been dating for 2 weeks. I like him, but only when I'm with him. I partially think it's because I'm still hung up on my ex. All I can think about is my ex, and how I want to be with him. Just a few months ago I was with my ex, until some things happened that screwed us up. Now I'm dating this other kid, and he's my first boyfriend since my ex 2 years ago.

I do like my current boyfriend, but when I'm with him and we're alone things are sexual and I don't like that. Whenever I see him in school all I can think about is wanting to be with my ex instead of him. He's such a nice guy, and I do like him, it's just I know I would rather be with my ex and that's all that would make me happy. I sometimes feel if I could just get my ex to actually reject me then I would be able to put my feelings aside and would realize how good I have it now.

I don't want to lose my boyfriend, but I just feel like it's the wrong thing to stay with him while I have such strong feelings for someone else. He knows about my ex, and how I used to feel, I don't know if he's aware I never lost those feelings, but..he knows about him. So it's not like my feelings are a complete secret.

I just don't know what I should do, should I stay with my boyfriend? Try to get back with my ex? Talk to my ex and realize he doesn't want me? Just back off from boys all together until i figure things out? Idk, I just need some sort of help. (link)
Hello.

The fact that you do love your ex and merely like your current boyfriend is a problem. I think that you should think about why you and your ex broke up and rationalize whether or not that would be a problem again if you got back together. If it wouldn't be, then I think you should tell your ex how you still feel about him. I'd hate to advocate for you to talk to your ex behind you current boyfriend's back, but as long as you don't physically "cheat" on your boyfriend, then I think you aren't really doing anything wrong. It could also be argued that you are emotionally "cheating" on him right now, so I think that clearing up your feelings about your ex is the way to go.

If your ex still loves you as well, and the possibility of getting back together with him becomes available, then I would think that's exactly what you would do. Provided that you let your current boyfriend down gently and perhaps are honest with him about the situation, then I think you will be much happier being with the guy you actually love.

IF your boyfriend says he has no feelings or for some reason you realize that it isn't a good idea to pursue that previous relationship, then you're still left with a boyfriend that you aren't too crazy about. The thing about the relationship being too "sexual" and you not liking him when you are away from him leads me to think that your relationship is almost entirely physical. I've been in the exact same type of relationship, and though it isn't bad, it also isn't very great.

Regardless of your feelings for your ex, there are tons of great guys that have the potential to gain your love in the future. So why settle for a boyfriend who is mediocre at best? Relationships are supposed to be fun and happy. Also, it's perfectly possible that your current boyfriend IS crazy about you, so by staying with him you are just stringing along his feelings. Ultimately, I feel that the two of you will break up, so why not end it sooner rather than later?

Don't stay in a relationship that doesn't make you completely happy. If your ex doesn't reciprocate your feelings, then please try to break off this new relationship and wait for a better match to come along.

I wish you all the best!

Take care.


sorry if this is long.
14/f
ive been dating this boy for 2 months now,we get on great, but the physical stuff seems to be all thats happening yeah we talk all the time but idk... hes not physically attractive although i find my self confortable around him.
my friends hate him and well im not sure what to do. i like the physical stuff but later on i dont want to do something i will regret
(hes only fingered me) (link)
Hello.

I do think you should break up with him.
You don't find him physically attractive. This in itself is a problem. In fact, based on what you said about him, it seems as though you do not really like him romantically at all!

If he DOES like you romantically, then you are leading him on. If he does not, then you are still giving yourself less than you deserve. If you're going to date someone, it may as well be someone that you truly like.

Also, if your friends don't like him, then that is a huge warning sign. Friends look out for your best interest, thus, this guy is not in your best interest.

I'm sure that you could wait and find someone who you truly connect to and actually have feelings for. Believe me that it will be a much happier relationship. I also think that you should be in no rush to get "physical," especially not with someone you hardly care about. "Physical" things are supposed to be special, and given your young age, I'm sure you WILL regret it later on if you don't wait for the right time and right person. I'm 17, and even I think that I'm not ready to get "physical" with just anyone. It has nothing to do with being a prude, but everything to do with having a meaningful relationship with someone. SO, my advice is that you shouldn't rush into things that you aren't ready for. Protect your innocence for as long as you can. I don't mean to sound like a mom by saying all of this, so I hope you don't take it that way.

Take care


I'm 18/f and I'm a rather closed in person. I figured since I was shy I'd give online dating a try. So then I started talking to someone and for lack of a better term, I completely lost my sanity. I think about him all the time and whenever I do I'm smiling and giddy. We did happen to get into some... harmless fun... over video chat but there was no exposure of any kind. But, how do I know he's not just leading up to it and then as soon as he gets what he wants he'll just stop talking to me altogether? He acts sweet and always listens, but am I just that gullible, or is this turning into something?

-Chix (link)
Hello.

I don't think you are gullible. You have a crush, totally normal! :)

I would recommend taking it slow with this guy, and really, all guys. If you have too much fun too soon, then yes, it's possible that a guy could simply use you. But if you allow time for the two of you to get to know eachother, go on dates, and fall for a guy slowly overtime, then chances are, he will be falling for you as well. Most "players" will give up quickly. It's the good guys that stick around for the long term.

Try to keep the paranoia in check, and realize that, if this guy does ever hurt you, then it is all the better because you can move on to a better guy.

Try to remain optimistic! Good luck and take care!


yeah i see where your coming from but i kinda feel both ways about it like i feel he does have a right but then again he doesnt he changed his number he wont even talk to anyone that has anything to do with me like he wont even talk to his brother in law and if he really loved me i have no idea he wanted me to run away with him i just couldnt take off and leave my mom behind he said he wanted it to just be me and him so we could start our own family now i stop to think what if i did would he be with me or would he have left me there by myself see they are the things that make me want to just say fuck him and do it all myself but then i know everyone needs a father and a mother and i saw how he was with his nieces and nephew its just alot (link)
Hello.

Well I think that you should try to not think of the past because it will just make you more upset. Also, I think you made the right choice by not abandoning your family. Honestly, you should ask yourself whether a man who tries to get you to leave your family behind is good enough for you. You should aspire to be with someone who brings joy into your life, not someone who wants to be the only person in your life.

It's true to that children benefit from having both a mom and a dad, but in special situations like this there are exceptions. You don't want to bring a child into this world with parents that have an unstable relationship. You don't have to tell your ex about the baby if you don't want to, but personally I think I would.

Take care.


sorry about sending the same one two times i was trying to send this one but if i am preganat should i tell the guy he left me and he mobed to alamaba with his family then he just stoppped talking to me and wants nothing to do with me now hes in new york city with someone else but i dont want him to want me for all the wrong reasons (link)
Hello.

I think that you should let him know. He is the father of the child and he has a right to know about his child's existence. But if he tries to get back together with you right after you tell him about the child, then you should kindly say no. He seems to have moved on, so to force a relationship now would not be a good idea. Neither of you will benefit from that. If anything you would both get hurt.

Take care.


hi i had sex with a guy i was dating like two or three months ago and i was taking the pill but the day after i ran out and then im just now like a week ago getting back on it but im always tired i get the hickups all the time i fee weak i feel sick i was eating dinner with my mom it was this stuff i use to like and as soon as i smelled it it made my belly turn and i hjust couldnt eat but i took a test a week after we had sex could it be the pill doing that to me ? i hada miscarriage before when i1st started taking the pill but i didnt know i was pregnant until it was too lated and im getting sharp pains that start at my belly button and it shoots all the way down my vag i have no idea what it is but i had the pain before but i was also on the pill before when i got the pain to so idk if im pregnant the test said i wasnt so i didnt stop taking the pill and i dont want to talk to my mom about it she would get mad that im on the pill she got mad when she found out my 35 year old sister was on it she doesnt like it cause what can happen when you on it and she also got pregnant with my brother on it so please help thanks alot
megan
(link)
Hello.

If I were you I would take another pregnancy test. I mean, you took a pregnancy test, but you took it really soon. At this point the results would be more reliable. You don't need to tell your mother yet, but taking the test would definitely give you your answer. Based on the symptoms that you have been having, it certainly is possible that you are pregnant. Please take another test and, if you are pregnant, please tell your mother. Even if she gets upset, you will really need her support through this.

Good luck and take care.


I have dated this guy named, Carter for a year a couple years ago. Well we broke up and ever since then we have kinda "talked" and dated other people but my feelings for him have not changed. I have very strong feelings for him.
okay, so the next guy i dated last year, nicholas, i dated him for 9 and half months and we decided to break up for personal reasons. Well now they both want to be with me, & I have no clue who to choose! I have thought and thought and thought about it! I just don't know how to choose! pleaseeeeee help!! (link)
Hello.

I think that the most important things to consider here are the reasons why you broke up with each guy. Think about who you are actually more compatible with. Ultimately, who is the better catch? Who can you talk to about anything? Who do you feel more close to? Who is nicer both to you and to other people? Who is going to affect your life in a positive way? This decision is somewhat final so make sure you really think about it. I don't know if they each know about eachother but another option would be to go on a date with each one and see who you "click" with more.

I hope you make the best choice.

Good luck and take care


so there's this cute guy in my class in my English class. well i decided to do a little facebook stalking and when i got one i realized that he's 22 (3 years older than me) married, and he's a pastor at this church that one of my acquaintances go to. I felt weird because i kept looking at his facebook. and in English class, i was being stupid and gave him a dirty look and he gave one back to me. then when i smiled at him later he gave me another dirty look. i did this again and he smiled at me. it was really weird. i feel so weird because i keep thinking about him like an obsessive freak. well anyways i guess i did all that because i was embarrassed and upset that i kept going to his facebook and found out that he's married and a pastor because i had a huge crush on him. lol and he got extra point for starting the roll sheet by writing his name and he forgot to put a plus so i did it. lol i don't know what to do but i feel bad. help? (link)
Hello.

You shouldn't feel so embarrassed about this :/. The fact is that tons of people are out and about (or should I say home and alone) stalking away on Facebook. Facebook stalking has virtually no consequences because the person has no way to know who has been checking out his page. It could become a bad habit thought; like all things, it is best in moderation.

Anyhow, I feel that, if anything, it was great that you looked him up on facebook. He's a married man! This means that you can now freely move on. Imagine if you hadn't known this and if you had flirted/pursued him only to learn this information later. I'm sure it would have been more upsetting at that point. He may be attractive, charming, etc., but there are plenty of men that fit this description. I suggest that you try to see this as a learning lesson and possibly try to scope out more cute guys. I'm sure you'll find a nice single one in no time! :)

Take care




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker