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Q: What should I do to try to get him less controlive and jealous?

Most boyfriends are jealous easy because they have low self esteem and feel like you could be taken from them or they are competing against someone/ somethimg. Reassure him that he has nothing to be jealous of and that you are his. If it continues, I would seriously think about the relationship and where it is going, because if he dosen't stop being controlling, he never will. And it only gets worse. I wish you the best of luck!

Q: I'm just trying to prove a point to my boyfriend, it's NOT attractive when guys fart correct?

You are correct. But many guys think farting is funny and they will probably never ever get over that.lol

Q: I'm 19/f, my boyfriend of 1 year is 18/m.

My boyfriend likes meeting new people, and I respect that. Just yesterday, he met a girl..(when he went to take placement tests so that he can apply to college next semester.) Apparently, this girl that he met was on campus for placement tests too.

So, when I finally saw him later that night, he told me that he hung out with "his new friend Michaela" for the entire day, and that he picked her up from her friend's house so that they could go to the mall, and he bought her ice cream, and they hung out with another couple, his best friend tyler and tyler's girlfriend.

I asked him a lot of questions about "his new friend" because I'm terrified that something's going on between them, or that something could go on in the near future. I trust that he won't physically cheat on me, but I also don't know why this new attention from other girls is so important to him that he had to spend the entire day with a girl he just met. I'm jealous that he spent so much time with her, because I don't even think he made it very clear that he's got a girlfriend to this new girl. I know that if I was in her shoes, I'd be wondering if this new guy I just met was interested in me or not.

So what should I do about this situation? I don't want to be a cranky girlfriend of his that tries to be annoyingly/unnecessarily possessive and doesn't let him have friends that are girls. But I'm so hurt that he wants to hang out with other girls at the same time.

I would tell him that its bothering you that he is spending time with this new girl and buying her ice cream. It's not bad if he has girls that are friends but when he hangs out with them that much and buys her ice cream, i would definitely put a stop to that. Would he let you do that with another guy? Just tell him exactly how you feel and if he doesn't respect that, then you're to good for him anyways. Hopefully he listens to you and understands where you're coming from though. Goodluck (:

Q: 22/f here. My ex, Nathan, is 24, and my current, Kyle, is 28. This is gonna be a bit long...

I was with Nathan for about 4 years on and off. He was emotionally abusive, but I was addicted to him. Being in the mental health field, I know a lot about addiction and how to overcome it. I broke up with him. We ended things on good terms, but I asked him to let me initiate contact at some point in the future. He has broken this agreement many times already with e-mails telling me how much he loves and misses me.

Now, Kyle and I dated during an off-period with Nathan, but I ended it because I wasn't ready to walk away from Nathan, and I recognized that. I am now, though, and I did...right back into Kyle's arms. Kyle is a wonderful man, and makes me very happy (and is a very good kisser ^_^). I have no intention of leaving him anytime soon.

The problem here is that as much as Kyle denies it, I know I have yet to earn his trust back because of the fiasco that happened with Nathan before. I told him I would keep him in the loop if Nathan decided to try anything, and ideally, Kyle and I would discuss the situation and tackle it as a couple/unit instead of me trying to handle it alone. (I did, however, promise that I would never put them together in any physical way...)

My questions are:
1. Should I tell Kyle about Nathan's recent e-mails?
It risks bringing up a very negative past, and I don't want the focus of our relationship to be how to get Nathan out of it.

2. Should I respond to an e-mail and ask him to leave me alone?
I'm hesitant about this because I know how he works - any attention is better than no attention - but I also know that he doesn't give up easily. The only reason I'm consiering it is that I understand that, legally, if you tell someone to leave you alone and they don't, you can file harrassment charges. I'm not angry at Nathan, or anything, I just don't want him to make my life hell anymore...that's why I broke up with him. I am, however, prepared to take legal action if necessary to get him away from me. He hurt me many times in many ways that could've been seriously psychologially damaging.

Anyway. I apologize for the length of this question, and I'm aware that none of you are lawyers. I'm just looking for some unprofessional, uninvolved feedback on this situation.

I would tell kyle about everything that has been going on with nathan. He would probabaly want to know. As of nathan, i wouldnt respond to any of the emails because by doing that the attachment he has towards you eventually starts to fade and he wont be doing that anymore. Hope i helped!

Q: (20/f). My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, on and off. I really do love him, and we've talked about the future a LOT- moving in together, getting married, all that jazz. He treats me better than any guy I've ever dated, and I can tell he really loves me. Our families know each other and we each feel comfortable with each others friends- it's nearly a perfect situation. THe downsides are, he and I don't have a lot in common.. He doesn't like reading, I do. He hates the movies and music I absolutely love. And he doesn't want to be an organ donor, which is something I'm very upset about. There are a few other differences too.

The few breaks we have had, however, have all occured because there's a BIG part of me that will never stop having feelings for my best male friend, the guy I lost my virginity to when I was 16. This guy has always been my greatest downfall- My dream guy, except that he's always involved with another girl when I'm willing to be with him. My friends and family don't trust him or like him because we had a huge fight about 2 years ago, and only recently started speaking last fall. He hurt me more than anyone, but now we're better than ever. Well now he's single and he keeps telling me how he does love me and how when he's trully over his most recent ex, he can see the two of us being together. He and I have almost everything in common and we always have an amazing time when we hang out.

I told my bf how conflicted I was, because I love both of them a LOT. He told me I could either never speak to my friend again, or he would dump me. It's impossible. As of right now, my bf thinks I'm no longer speaking to my friend, but I've been texting and hanging out with him behind his back =/ Really bad, I know.. it feels like I'm practically cheating. I know it can't keep happening and I know I'll need to make a choice.

Do I pick my boyfriend, who wants to marry me and take care of me and all my needs? Who's sweet and caring and concerned about me but who hates my best friend, and doesn't have much in common with me?

Or do I pick my best friend, the boy who loves everything I love, the one who I can share my soul with and who always makes me laugh? The one who none of my friends and family care for?

Who do you see yourself with in the long run? Who do you tell eveything to once something new or exciting happens? Thats the person you should pick. And if you still cant decide after that, maybe you shouldnt pick either of them. Oh, and i wouldnt hang out with your friend behind your boyfriends back anymore. That would cause a lot of hard feelings. So just follow your heart when it comes down to it. Maybe soon, youll see who you really want. Good luck! Hope this helpss.

Q: Me and this guy have been talking and hanging out and im pretty sure he likes me because he kissed me etc. But he always texts me saying "hey whats up" etc but like he talks a little bit then he just kinda doesn't say much and i have to keep the convo going.Like I will type a whole paragraph and he will say " haha oh nice : )" or something similiar and i usually just dont respond and then he will text me later and the same thing will happen.Why do guys do this?!

Most guys aren't really into texting the way girls are. just keep the conversation going for as long as possible and if he still does that ask him "so what would you like to talk about?," or ask him, "Whats up?" just to keep the conversation going longer. Hope this helps!

Q: 13/m
OK so last Thursday i went to the movies with my girlfriend and another one of her friends and i asked her if she wanted to do something again this weekend but im not sure if she wants to go to the movies again so what are some things we could do. we live in a small city but not anything with huge skyscrapers and like 10 giant shopping centers just one small one which sucks cause theres hardly anything to do.
so im looking for just any help at all thanks alot

Have her come over to hang out.
Go Swimming.
The Zoo.
Shopping.
Go out to eat.

Q: 18/f

okay let me start off by saying i am not the type of girl to get nervous, but I havent been on a one on one date since summer and for some reason the whole idea of going out with this guy tonight is making me FREAK. Ive met him before and we went on a double date with my friend and her boyfriend because they set us up, we seem to hit it off and he wanted to get together for dinner. Is there any tips on how i can keep my cool? Any conversation starters? Im sure its just the fact i havent been on a date with him yet thats why im so anxious but just reading what you guys have to say will help me chill. Thanks.

If the convo goes weak, just start talking about your family or friends or something funny that happened to you and he can talk off of those. It will be fine. Just calm down and keep your cool. Act like you have known him forever and it's nothing to go to dinner. Hope this helps!

Q: 15/f

the guy of 2 years really likes me and stuff, but ive had a ton of problems with his ex girlfriend and thats part of the reason i dont wanna go out with him. he only broke up with her 2 weeks ago but hes liked me ever since ive known him. and my last relationship i ended up cheating and i dont want to hurt anyone again, plus ive never really done well with boyfriends in the past. i dont want to go out with him, ruin it AND have his exgirlfriend kick my ass. we've jus been talking about hookin up and 'being together without really being together'

im just so confused someone help me PLEASE!

Hey i tried to message you back but it isn't working so you can leave a message in my inbox if you want and i will reply back then. I can help you with this situation.

Q: Okay, so I don't know if any of you have seen my other posts about this guy who told me he liked me, and i told him that I liked him, and then got in a rleationship with his ex girlfriend .. well, anyways. I don't know if I should talk to him or something. He's in one of my classes and it's ALREADY awkward, so i'm not sure about this talking in person thing. Actually, I'm completley sure that I don't want to talk to him. I want to write him a message on facebook or something, saying like ... "I know you have her now, and I hope your happy. I just want you to know that what you did was a really dick move, and one day karma is going to come back and bite you in the ass ..." or something like that. i dont know. I just can't stay silent anymore :[ it's too hard haha, I'm always known for my confrontations .. so what now? Is this a good idea? if it is, what should I say? and how? and when?
thanksss!*!*

If i were you, i would just leave it alone because saying something like that isn't going to make anything better. Guys do mean things like that all the time and they don't care. hope this helps!

Q: I met her but could not bring myself to do it. I love her and that love is pure. I`m a selfish, philandering waste of life. Whether she sensed my state of mind and deliberetly played to my emotions I don`t know. She was nice to me but I get the feeling she knew what she was doing. I am a classic failure. I have nothing to offer anybody. My family, kids and wife would be much better off without me. I`ve been taking overdoses lately and I`m sure they`re doing damage somewhere or other. I don`t want to live anymore. I`m too weak to survive in this winner takes all world. I don`t even care anymore. Thankyou for your kind advice and help, I won`t forget it.

Best regards
Bobby

Don't give up. I know you love her but you cant have her control your life. You can't her get the best of you. You have to do this. It's the only way to come clean with your life. You won't regret it because you will feel much better afterwards. I know it will be tough but you can do it. If you have any other questions, just let me know! Hope this helps. Good luck!

Q: There are two really cute guys that like me and i like them but I cant decide!!! There both friends and on the same team my friends say go for the cuter one and my other friends say who you like more, but i dont know who!!! And worst of all i'm a cheerleader so i see them after school and cheer for them both how can i know who to pick.

I would start "talking" to both of them. I would see which one has the better personality, those are the sweet guys. Don't just go for the looks. The looks are a bebefit, but you don't want to get treated wrong and end up with a broken heart. See which one is nicer and which one is more fun to be around. Hope this helps!

Q: basicly im a 17 year old male. and for the past i dont know, 6 months or so, me and this girl have been i guess you could call it dating. i really don't know.lol but anyways, i fell extremely hard for her, i mean with in about 2 months i was in love with this girl. and i still am. but during the first part of jan. we ran into some trouble, and she accussed me of somethings that i flat out didnt do. so we stopped talkin for awhile. she then goes on a cruise w/ her family and from what i understand, meets this dude that shes liked, and yeah, need less to say they start goin out. and i mean she literally i feel, threw me to the curb. didnt call me, didnt say nothin to me, just left me. and I've been pretty friggin well depressed since then. i mean i cant help but think about what all that happened, how it all went down, and how happy she is with this dude. i mean man this sucks. so basicly i just need some guidance, i have really know idea what im goin do. i just want her back. i aint even goin lie. but i also dont wanna get hurt again either. so please help me out here

I can admit, that is a pretty low thing to do. I can understand how you would feel. But you said you were lun love with her right? Dosen't that mean you would want her to be happy? I know of course you would like to have her back, but the way she's treated you sounds like i wouldn't want her back if i were you. I would move on to another person, no matter how hard it would be to get over her. Try to think of different things throughout the day and don't worry about her. She dosen't deserve you anyways. Just let her do her own thing so you both can get on with your lives. Hope this helps!

Q: Thankyou for your kind advice. I`m telling her husband on Tuesday. I nhave my evidence and I will also ask for my money back and all the jewellery I have given her over 4 long years. She`ll react and threaten me, like she did before. She has already threatened to get me 'beaten up', but I`m no longer afraid. Do you think I should ask for my money bac?, after all she did say she would give it back to me one day. I have already told my wife so have already taken that weight off my shoulders. This is not about 'reclaiming the initiative' but about getting her out of my mind and life. She has constantly taken advantage of my love and I don`t deny I still love her but I have to stand up for myself at some point. She won`t react well to this but that will just show her true character. I`ve always been passive and always retreated back into the shadows at the first sign of trouble but I feel I need to go in all gins blazing and tell her I won`t take this anymore. I`m not looking for victory but I do want rid of her and this will certainly create a serious hatred on her part and I expect that anyway. She is the most manipulative creatire I know and this will bring her down a peg or two.There is a fire in my heart and I need to extinguish it. She thinks me a soft touch but she`ll find out I`m ready to face up to her and her lies and her manipulation. I suspect her husband already has an inkling of her escapades and when I tell him it will only confirm what he suspects anyway. So should I go in all guns blazing and tell her I want my money back and that I`m telling her husband or should I just let sleeping dogs lie and probably wither away and just die in pain?

What i would do is just tell her husband and then leave. I wouldn't ask for your money back or jewelry unless she is willing to give it back. Then, you will just start another argument between you two and she will get even more mad at you. I would want the whole big fiasco to end so that's what i would do. Yes, she will be very mad and that's just what she will do. You yourself even said this. In time, she will cool off though and get on with it so don't worry. If you have any other questions, just let me know. I will be glad to help! Good luck!

Q: my boyfriend of so far 2 years wants to get married really bad because hes a marine overseas and he wants that relationship before he goes out to war. but the thing is since i dont see him alot, i dont know how he would act in everyday communication. my dad puts my mom down everyday throws things at her and fights with her every moment, but tells her he loves her.im afraid of getting into one of those relationships. what do i do?

Don't get married if you don't want to. If the time is not right, just tell him that. If he loves you, he should understand that and respect it. Not all marriages are like your moms though. Well hope this helps!

Q: Hi..I recorded her voice when we last spoke (evidence for her husband)..I have to tell him..told my wife tonight (though I omitted certain details). I know it`s wrong but yesterday I took 15 painkillers, I know I`ll only damage my liveer but I`m getting more desperate and more brave by the day. I may take more soon, and that might just end me. How can someone say they love you then say they never want to hear from you again (unless they actually didn`t love you in the first instance)..I also need to take a test as I know she has slept around a lot. I met her husband and he seems like a throughly decent man, but she does`nt know I met him. I really felt awful, actually I felt like the cheating philandering bastard I am. But how can I not tell him, and I also have some proof now as well. She doesn`t say anything graphic or lewd in the recording, we just argue, but it`s enough to show him that when and if I tell him, he`ll believe me. Of course her husband doesn`t know who I am. I`m desperate and this is a plea for help, for my life. Shall I tell him? I think I have no choice now. I have opened up to my wife and I realise I will have to tell her everything if I tell her husband but theres no other way of ending my pain, other than death. I am terrified of dying but can`t see past my pain. Please help!

I think you will fell better once you get it off your chest and tell her husband. To me, it seems like you feel guilty but you have to tell her husband. He will feel hurt and betrayed but he deserves to know. Also, you shouldn't end your life. You know you made a mistake and now you are fixing it. You have to just not do it again and learn from them. Everybody does soemthing in life that they regret no matter how bad that may be. Your spouses will feel very bad and not want to talk to you, but at least you told them and you didn't let them find out the hard way. At least you are being honest. Everything will get better in time and you will eventually let that girl go. I know she means a lot to you right now, but time helps and it will get better. I hope this helps and if you have any other questions, just message me!!

Q: Hi, thanks fo ur advice. I called her today, and asked her if she ever loved me (though I already knew the answer) and she accused me of a great many things, called me names and she really really hurt me. I should not have called her I know but could not help it. I knew it was a mistake the second she answered the phone. She said she wants to go back to work in showbiz, and we all know what that may mean. She was horrible to me, and I feel like dying right now. I pray to god he takes me soon, because I cannot take much more. i JUST WANT TO DIE. Only death can bring me the peace I want

It seems like she dosen't deserve you. You are being to nice and if she dosen't care, that's her loss. It will all get better soon. You don't need her and you will find someone that treats you right. Hope this helps!

Q: well my cousin recently seperated from her husband and went to live with her parents for a while. one day i call her up and she tell asks me to call him and tell him to call her since she ran out of credit on her phone. i call him and tell him to call her but it was already and we began to talk about something that happend a week before. i stayed at there house one night and i slept in there bed with them. i didn't have any intentions of anything but he kinda put his hand in a certain place and i didn't stop him, so on the phone we talk about it and he picks me up and i go to there house, but my cousin wasn't there since she stayed at her parents. so we have sex and i stayed the night. in the morning she drops in and he jumps up the bed and lucks the door, so i stayed trapped in there as she knocks and knocks and cries and yells for 3 hours and than he finally takes her to her parents and i sneak out. so everyone in the family knows he cheated, but they don't know its me. but i kinda think she suspects its me. :S i don't what to do? act normal? tell her the truth?

I would tell her the truth because if she finds out without you telling her, she will never trust you again and you will have hurt her very bad. It's good just to get the honest thing that happened out. Tell her you are sorry and explain that you never wanted to hurt her. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Q: Male 26

Lately, it feels like my girlfriend is constantly saying hurtful and/or disrespectful things to/about me. And I can't tell if she's oblivious or not about how it affects me.

How do I make it clear that I still love her, but that what she says affects me a lot.

I would talk to her and see what is going on. Maybe you have offended her in some kind of way and she feels like she needs to get back at you for it. I would just straight up ask her why she is acting this way and that it is affecting you. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Q: I can kind of understand why my dad doesn't want me alone with guys, but at the same time, I really do need to start to be more independent. The thing is that I am 16 years old and I think I am pretty mature. I haven't really screwed up anywhere; I get amazing grades, make an effort to help around the house, and I'm generally respectful to my parents. I'm sober too, which isn't the case for my brother. They don't trust him very much, but they let him go out with a girl if he wants to. It's a pretty messed up double standard. Lately, there's a guy who I really like and we aren't exactly dating but it's understood that we both like eachother. Anywyas, I want to talk to my dad about this, but talking to him makes me really nervous because he just says something like "no you can't go" without giving me a reason. He doesn't say, "I don't want you to have a boyfriend" he just says no to everything. Even when it's me and another girl and the guy, my dad is still skeptical. I want to be honest with him but it doesn't work. When I tell the truth about who I want to hang out with, he is against it. So I've had to lie a lot lately to hang out with him, but I'm tired of it. I talked to my mom and she said she knows I already had a boyfriend once so obviously I can do whatever I want, but my dad is very hard to read. Can someone help me out. Thanks

I know all dads are like that in some way but yours seems like he dosen't want you to get in any trouble and turn out like your brother. He might just be afraid of losing his little girl. But anyways, what i would do is have a sit down talk with him and tell him exactly what you put on here about being a good kid and everything and you won't do anything to disobey his trust. If he won't listen, try to get your mom to help explain since she seems like she dosen't have a problem with it. Hope this helps! Good luck!

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Hey Everyone! I am on the computer a lot and if you and questions or concerns, you can send me a message here on advicenators and i will answer as quickley as possible. I give honest answers but am not to harsh on people. You can ask me any kind of question and i will answer it! Ask away! Thanks!