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I'm here to help people and everyone is welcome here. Feel free to ask me as I can give you an honest opinion. Feel free to email me and discuss what you may need to express. I don't sugarcoat, I'm may be brutally honest. advice
I'm tired of loving. Simple as that. I wish I was dead.. All I ever do is cause problems... I just want my life to be over. I don't want to take my own life though. I wish for someone to do it for me... Can someone help me? Please... Living is pointless for me. I can't escape the pain.... And now.... I'm completely... Irrevocably numb.
No one in here will ever give you advice on how to end life, sorry. But we can help you by giving you some advice on how to deal with your problem. perhaps state what do really bother you so then we can give our honest opinions and advice about it.
This site is about helping one another on how to deal with the intricacies of life and not how to end it.
Feel free to ask and you'll surely be answered.
I want sex with my boyfriend but I'm lucky if I get a kiss of him. Im a girl and I only got my first bra today and I'm not finished with puberty I've snogged and my ex showed me how to have sex but he left my school my other ex dumped me for two girls in my class. My boyfriend isn't that serious and I want more but the ex that is still in school won't go back out with me.
You have just started your puberty. It may be not yet the time to have sex. The lowest age of consent is 15 as far as I know in some other countries. That is just a mere infatuation of what you have felt towards your boyfriend and your ex's because you are still 13, you don't know yet what is really a love. If you are really eager to have sex with your boyfriend, it is best to not do it yet. You would be more likely get depressed after having sex. Think of some factors that might affect you after having sex with him. What if he'll blurt into the whole class after what happened, what if he is kiss-and-tell?, what if he'll dump you and worst of all what if you'll have unprotected sex? You may not want to face those consequences after entering into a sensual bodily contact. You are not yet emotionally ready for that honey. You are still young.
Studies have shown that girls aged 16 below that tend to have sex with their boyfriends are more likely to be depressed for some various factor that affect it. I mentioned those some of the factors.
I understand your desire because I've been through to it too. The safest and the easiest way to satisfy you with your desire is to just masturbate. In that way, you won't get pregnant and or have STD's. It'll help you feel pleasure and greatness as the surge of dopamine and serotonin in your brain will increase- those are the neurochemicals. That way is safe and healthy.
Feel free to reach me dear.
'blueheart'
There was this chick in hs and she was my girlfriend's best friend. We all went on a group trip without my girlfriend and on a drunken night I told her, "if you weren't her best friend, I'd be with you." Surprisingly she didn't tell my girlfriend about it and every time she'd see me she'd say hi. I hadn't seen her in about 8 months due to college and yesterday as I walked down the street I had a feeling someone was watching me and as I looked up she turned around and left off in a different direction. Does this mean she ever felt the same about me and did she avoid me on purpose? Or is it all in my head and I should leave it in the past?
There are a lot of factors to be considered why she did that certain actions. First, in my basic opinion that means that she could have the same feeling for you but was afraid to tell because you are her bestfriend's boyfriend and the feeling of guilt and awkwardness are rushing into her. 2nd, she might just had avoided you for the fact that you had a hidden feelings for her but you have a girlfriend and it's her bestfriend. It would be a shame to both of you if you would continue your feelings for her and same as her. If I were you, forget the hidden feeling you had for her and be honest to your girlfriend. I wish that if you and your girlfriend might break-up her bestfriend might not be next in her line.
you should leave everything in the past and go on happily with your girlfriend.
Dear Vikki
I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.
Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!
Thanks!
There are always lots of insecurities on a relationship. A relationship breaks because of one of some factors and that is when a person couldn't manage his/her insecurities anymore. If you trust your boyfriend and both of you are happy in your relationship together, it won't break. Unless if you won't handle your insecurities. I know what you feel. Don't think that you aren't pretty, never think that he might be with someone else who is more than what you are because as you've said he won't cheat on you.
You sometimes see yourself as ugly and you are after to lose of because of that, think smartly of the reason why is he still with you? why he still faithful on you? The reason is that there is something he sees in you more than your beauty. He sees the real you and he accepts it. And there's no reason for you to be insecure.
Don't just hide your insecurities.Remove it. Or else it'll just destroy the relationship. Note that an insecurity leads to jealousy then up to paranoia. And that's the reason of bleeding heart and or suicidal thoughts if you can't take it anymore. And you won't wish it to happen. I made it exaggerated because that is a reality happening in our society today. It all started in a single insecurity.
He won't leave you no matter what if he truly loves you. If he leaves you for someone else, he's not for you and not because you are ugly or not because of one of your insecurities.
I hope he is the right guy for you. You are beautiful and don't be yourself because you can evolve. If you think you are ugly, remember that there are a lot of uglier than you.
My advice is practical and I hope this will help you sweetie. Goodluck to you.
I can feel you. Feel free to reach me.
"blueheart"
Once I have anal sex and it didn't slipper to my vagina, am I still a virgin? (Stressed)
Yes you are still a virgin. When a man's manhood is penetrated to yours, that would be the time you are no longer a virgin.
Its been almost 3 years and they have had there good times and bad times but today i didnt talk to her because I didnt want to fight and when we spoke she kept fighting with me... I feel like dying because she is my life and i am so stressed out, what should I do?
The best thing to can do is you need to do is you need to talk with her sincerely. You need to discuss on how to deal on your relationship and talk on how you should be able to cope up with your fights. Fighting with each other sometimes is good as long as you are still able to manage your relationship. Ask her what's the matter why she keeps on fighting with you. Perhaps there's something wrong that you did that's why she argue with you. There are a lot of factors why girls bring up arguments to their partners and one reason is probably she's jealous or there's something she doesn't like on your actions. Talk to her immediately and ask her what she likes and not. If she goes to higher voice, don't fight back just stay calm and hold your pride or else she might have an urge to break up with you which I don't want it to happen. So, if you can't talk to her, why not text her to meet at a resto for dinnerdate then discuss about great matters dealing to your relationship. Girls are really complicated and one example is your girlfriend. I hope you can settle your problem with her.
Hey everyone! I'm 16/female.
*************************This question will put you to sleep*************************
So there's a boy in my history class who I really like. He is just perfect for me. He's taller than me, has a loving family, is athletic, has a life outside of his sport, he's gentle, a good son, a good brother, quiet, soft spoken, has a really deep voice, has a lot of patience, very mature, I can go on and on.
My point is, he's a gentleman. VERY rare at our age. And I like him. I've always looked for boys like him to get to know. I didn't even notice he was in my class until he stood up to present a project one day. And then on a class field trip a while later, we had a gorgeous conversation on the bus, followed by an in sync nap. Also he accepted this girls flirting all day, and she walked with him when I was trying to talk to him. But either way all negativity aside, since that day, I just couldn't get enough. Months later, there were days when my history teacher was absent, and I somehow spent both periods talking to him. Then I started talking to him on Facebook, a few weeks later. Eventually, he answered more frequently & a little over two weeks ago, he asked for my number since it was easier for him to answer me there than on Facebook. (I was crying I was so happy) & that wholeeeee time we were talking all day every day, him texting me first, & throughout that time texting, he was flirting a lot, but it could have been taken as something else most of the time.
For example, he would give me really cute nicknames as he said good morning & good night, he would ask me questions like "describe your perfect relationship" (says aww to my description, then says everything I missed), he basically described me when I asked him what type of girls he likes & he comforted me one day when I was mad, saying "I'm always here" afterwords. He was just so sweet the whole time. He never suggested anything that had to do with sex, unless I asked him about it ( I asked what his favorite body parts were and what type of legs he liked and again, he described my legs) & he wouldn't object to changing the subject back to normal afterwords, unlike other boys I've talked to. I told him once that I haven't found a mutual liking with someone & he mentioned that maybe he already had, then he said "maybe one day we'll find it" (what does that mean?) & it had my head spinning every time he said something like that. He would call me "awesome" and said that he would miss me if I moved, use witty little lines on me, never tried too hard but still he was very subtle.
We agreed that he would tell me a story about the girl that he used to go out with & he insisted on telling me this as soon as possible for some reason. When I was going to go meet him so he could tell me, the same girl from the trip was keeping me from going over there, (I didn't want to ditch her and be rude) & he was asking me "are you coming outside or not" (it sounded like he was eager, but then he goes and does this...) Then I explained to him that I've been there, but I didn't want to be rude. I found a way to position myself and the girl where he could see us, front and center. This girl is also in our class, and he knows her for a while longer than he knows me so when he comes up to us, he starts flirting with her immediately. She flirts back (of course -.-, she's one of those.) She has a boyfriend. I'm not sure if he is aware. So this makes me extremely uncomfortable, considering. We were looking at each other this whole time, so I tried to show him with my face that this might be a bad time, but my face didn't say that, it looked at him as if I was sad and confused that he was paying attention to her & not me (exactly how I was feeling, but not what I meant to do at all) so he stopped & came to me and properly greeted me. I smiled & the girl got the idea & started walking farther in front of us, and soon we were alone and she was getting her face sucked. He tells me the story as normal, we flirt and giggle and I admire him as he talks. I notice he's a bit nervous... But he never gets to finish, so we plan another day later, & he asks me if he could call me to tell me, but I say no because I want an excuse to stare at him. So when this day comes, I watch him play, (this is outside by the way) and I'm waiting for the bell to ring so he could talk to me. It when the bell rings he's still playing. I get up, a little sad since this time he wasn't texting me, he was absorbed in the game. So as I leave, I feel a hand on my shoulder, it's him of course. I give a huge smile (can't help myself) and he continues where he left off. I can't help but notice he's a little antsy and nervous as he talks this time too. He tells me about this teddy bear that he gave that ex, and he says he has it now because her parents didn't like him so she had to give it back (don't understand why) So he's talking, and a bunch of people notice us in the halls walking together, and a handful of my stupid friends make things very awkward. Pointing and giggling at us, saying "ohhhhhhhhhhhh that's him" quietly but obviously, staring at him, & one friend even went as far as to say "hey, I know you like her because she's beautiful and everything, but you'll never get that" and I wouldn't dare to look at him so I couldn't tell you his reaction, all I know is he kept talking, while I struggled to listen and respond.(I swear, I want to listen to what he's saying with my FULL attention, but he's just so gorgeous sometimes I can't believe he's talking to me.) anyway, when we said goodbye, I think I caught a glimpse of him leaning closer to hug me, but I quickly turned away. I'm not ready for all of those eyes looking at us yet. Then again I'm not sure he did.
If you don't understand what my question is, which most likely you don't (sorry) it's that I don't know if this kid likes me back! He's so confusing, he flirts in my face with that girl (which is really nothing by the way, it's just a little confusing that's all) and then texts me when we get home and treats me like a princess.
*by the way, if it sounds like I'm jealous of that one girl, I'm really not. I used to be, but I got my brain back. I just wanted to illustrate my frustration with her cockblocking.*
I want to thank anyone who got this far in advance. If you think I don't want to read extremely long answers, you're wrong lol :) you reap what you sow, or so I've heard ^_^
Oh sweetie I love to read this kind if teenage mushiness. It reminds me of someone I used to love. Anyways, Since you are eager to know the answer, I will tell you directly. Well, it\'s pretty obvious that he LIKES you back! As you\'ve said that he flirts you, call you awesome, treat you like a princess and give you hints of his expression, well that are his amazing ways of expressing his like for you and later on it could develop into a deeper emotion.
As you\'ve said that he is obviously flirting with other girl in front of you that has a boyfriend already, well that is a great sign of his like for you. Why? It\'s because it was just his defense mechanism of his emotion for him to figure out how you would react in that situation and how would you feel just for him to figure out if you truly cares about him. It was just like he was trying to make you jealous but in a gentle way. But you know I find him so smart for that way because he did it in front of your face plus that girl has a boyfriend already so he thought that you would never think something bad at him.
And also you already know he likes you but you are just unsure. He still doesn\'t confess his feelings for you yet he is already expressing it in a subtle way. He might afraid of rejection or he is still shy and wants to know you more. Just be honest to him and express yourself alot. Why not ask him if he likes you? That would be very awkward but try to tell it in a joking manner.
All you need to be is be patient because the right will come when he\'ll confess you feelings, you need to nice and honest to. And most of all be georgeous to make him stun at your inside and out beauty.
I hope this will help. Goodluck and feel free to ask me.
We will be dating for the first time and I don't know what should I give to her because I don't have an idea. Can you help me please? Thank you
If you don\'t want to ask about what she like coz you want to surprise her, then there lots of other ways. One of the best way to ask what she likes is let her guess of the things that you will possible give to her. And of course through guessing, she\'ll guess all of her favorite stuffs to be received. So you will know what to give. And also let her make her wishlist. So she can write of all the things she like.
Ok I'm 11 and I have a crush but I don't know if he likes me I ask him and he won't tell me what am I doing wroungh
Okey first, you don\'t need to ask him this time if he likes you because that would be awkward. And of course he won\'t tell you that he likes you because he is afraid he might be rejected. And also the reason why he won\'t tell you about it because probably he still doubt about his feelings for you and also he probably felt awkwardness. However, except through asking, you can still somehow know whether he has feelings for you or not in so many different ways.
You can spy him through facebook or twitter and fir sure you can find out who he likes. Well, you can know if he likes you by asking one if his close friends. Be close to him and be friendly. Then if you are very close to each other, well he may be comfortable in expressing his feelings.
What do you do when your significant other is kind of a jerk but knows it and is depressed about it and trying to change?
My boyfriend is a complicated person. He is extremely smart, logical and straightforward. He is loyal, honest, and fair. But these qualities make him terrible with people and relationships. He just doesn't get niceties, emotions, or how to relate with people. He is kind of dry and very serious. He can't pretend to enjoy something is he doesn't.
This brings me to my problem. He has slowly been losing his friends because he's been depressed and realized that people don't like him because of the way he is. Everyone is put off by his nature and they think he always has a stick up his butt. I don't know what to do because to me he opens up about how much he doesn't want to be the way he is but he just doesn't understand/trust/believe in people. He's always gotten bad reactions from them. He is extremely afraid of ending up alone and clings to me because I'm the only one who understands.
Slowly my friends started noticing this and I've noticed they contact me less to hangout. It was minimal and I tried to ignore it until the other day they told me I wasn't allowed to invite him to hang out with them because they don't want him there.
I don't know what to do. I know he has issues but he is a good person that just doesn't get people. He is not disrespectful or rude or anything. I feel bad leaving him because I know he's good but I feel like I am losing all my friends because I'm choosing to stay with him.
I don't know what to do. They do understand he's difficult but it's not their problem to stick by him or me until he changes. I'm stuck. Help?
Your boyfriend is complicated in the way he is. The best way you can do is not to leave your boyfriend. He needs you and you are the only one who can get along with him. If your another option is to leave him because of your friends, you are being so unfair not only to your boyfriend but to yourself.
Don\'t leave your boyfriend unless he trashes you already or hurt you. Encourage him to change not for you but for himself. If he decline to change something in his attitude or emotions, help him to understand the way why people treat him like that. As you\'ve mentioned, he hardly trust and believe people and also he is afraid to end up being alone, probably he has anxiety disorder but just unnoticeable. Ask him about what bothers him and his difficulties and then talk to him about it briefly. If his problems are the cause to his situation now, probably he must seek a personal counselor about it.
He must see a counselor to help him figure out what to do and for him to able to cope up with his situation. And you too could evaluate yourself about him by seeing a counselor. He needs guidance and support, and yes you are there and his family but an expert about some narrow problems about him can dig up to his situation and can possibly help him through.
And also, for your friends, if they don\'t like him because of his personality or attitude, they don\'t care about it. If they don\'t want to hangout with you because of him explain them about it that your boyfriend needs support and thats why you are with him.
I've met this girl. And we're friends for a month now. I like her so much and wanted to ask her out. I got her number and we texted til' morning. Pls help me
As you\'ve said that you are getting closer to her, why not tell her a topic that would lead into asking her out? like for instance, ask her what is the good thing to do this weekend and or if she is busy. Then at the middle of your convo, ask her out. Don\'t be shy to ask. Just be confident and be cool.
i have a crush and when I talk to her, she avoids me. Then when we sat together in a group I asked her some questions about the topic we are about to discuss but she just said I don't know and why not ask Sally. She avoids me and ignores me. i'm totally hurt. Pls help me
Probably your crush was intimidated at you or she just don\'t like you. Maybe she just feel awkward when you need closer to her. The best thing you can do is that you should ask her why is she avoiding you and if still she won\'t talk to you, ask her closest friend about it.
Talk to her sincerely and tell her that she is important to you and you want to make friends with her because she is nice and good. So start to express yourself and make friends with her then ask her out.
So i liked this girl since august, we used to flirt alot during that time until she got a boyfriend and i was friendzoned. After the break-up i talked to her a lot, but im not sure she'll like me back. We like to get touchy sometimes, maybe hug, or write on each other, but sometimes i think its cause i badly friendzoned. Im leaving in 2 months and i'll probably never see her again, but we are good friends at it'll be awkward if she says no. I just need some help please.
You've said that you talked with her a lot after the break-up, that is the great sign that you have a great possibility not to be friendzoned. You are leaving in two months, how far you'll be from her? If you're world apart, there's a little possibility to date her.
As I felt that you are very close to her like flirting always. Why not tell her how you feel. Tell her that you like her. She might not like you back, but at least you've expressed your feelings towards her. You comfort her after the break-up, so it's possibile that she felt your care and felt how much she means to you. Don't be afraid to show up your feelings. Who knows she liked you already before but just afraid to tell it off coz she maybe thought she would be friendzoned.
You can escape being friendzoned. Start to do the move now and express what you feel before you leave. She maybe miss you and maybe express what she feels too.
The articles on wikihow which dragonfly gave would be helpful. Follow your heart but let your brain navigate you. Hope it'll be fine.
'blueheart'
I'm from Chile. I have a crush just on Internet and we didn't even see each other in personal because she lives in Australia. We are world apart and we are both 17. I've known her for 7 months and we kept chatting and she even stays up late just to talk with me. I love her so much. She is really nice and sweet and known her family as she described. I can sense that she loves me too because few weeks, she told that she likes me. Idk if just for frnds only. We even had a fight then it led up to telling she doesn't like me coz i'm stupid and I told her that I don't like her too. But of course ik it's joke. I can she loves me. Should I do the first move and tell her how much she means to me?
You are infatuated with an internet friend and probably she is too. Don't rush your feelings sweetie. Be calm and don't think too much as if she would like you if you woukd express your feelings.
Why not tell her that she is your bestfriend? At least at that way you could keep her close to you and at the same time that would serve as a partially constant barrier between you two.
It's better to speak up your mind and express your feelings. That would tell her how much she means to you and how important she is. But keep in mind also the disadvantages for that like for instance, she'll stop chatting with you or avoid you. Think of those possibilities for at least you'll be guided and at the same time you would be reminded of what you should do.
Remember that Love, LIke and Lust differ from each other. Don't be too sure yet if she really love you and you feel the same for her.
I would say that it's not love you feel but it's like or an infatuation. Butterflies in stomach when you see her online or your heart is racing, that's not a sign of love. It's an infatuation brought by a magical feeling talking with her as she always makes you feel you are great and worthy.
Infatuation is a start of love if both of you would be lucky enough. You both are world apart and still too young. Keep a barrier between both of you until you'll be grown up and meet each other. Who know's probably it would be the time to express your long-time unspoken feeling towards her.
I'm almost as old as you. But haven't been inlove or infatuated online but i like someone. So literally, that feeling is just too basic. You're way to young. Don't stress yourself thinking about her. Go out and have girlfriends coz you are still at your "mind flourishing stage". All you have is to enjoy while you keep her close with you.
Make her your princess and probably someday she'll be your queen. I hope this would help sweetie. Godbless you.
Feel free to ask me.
'Blueheart'
Me and him started dating a week ago. In less than a week, he's already said "I love you". I don't think he meant it but it's honestly kind of scaring me because I don't want to get hurt. We haven't really talked about it and I don't really want to, but what should I do? He seems like a really nice guy and I want to keep dating him, but I don't think he actually loves me and the word scares me. He also kinda expects me to text back kinda fast so does that mean he's clingy or just shy? He's a really shy guy. Advice much appreciated thank you
As I've noticed in your question, the man you are dating said that word in text. Saying that kind of word in text is kinda insincere. If he truly loves you and he meant it well he must say it to you in person and should express why'd he loves you and how much he loves you. Well, words can't express how deep is the love. But he must let you feel that he loves you not only by saying sweet words.
I have friends, but I'm not really close to anyone. I also have problems trusting people enough to have a significant relationship, especially guys. I guess part of it is that I have seen my parents get divorced three times and I just have this fear that once I trust someone enough to love them, they'll go away. It's happened all my life. Anyway, the result is that I'm nice to everyone, close to no one, and pretty lonely because I kind of emotionally isolate myself.
How do I get over my fears and trust people?
you are afraid of being left bcoz of your experiences yet you are also afraid of loving and trusting someone.
It's because of your experiences you're being introvert. You are lonely bcoz you won't let yourself go beyond your limits. The thing that I meant is that letting go of your bad experiences. Get over from your past. Don't let yourself be hidden in the dark shadow of your side. Forget them and open your heart for trusting people and loving people. i know that it's not easy to do it bcoz i know I also experienced your part.
Start from a very easy thing. Try to trust yourself and love yourself. In that way, you can feel self confidence and you can stretch further from yourself you used to be. 2nd is you need to love and express it, by that way you can be able to feel safe and achieve happiness from oneself.
i hope this would help