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avoided on purpose?
There was this chick in hs and she was my girlfriend's best friend. We all went on a group trip without my girlfriend and on a drunken night I told her, "if you weren't her best friend, I'd be with you." Surprisingly she didn't tell my girlfriend about it and every time she'd see me she'd say hi. I hadn't seen her in about 8 months due to college and yesterday as I walked down the street I had a feeling someone was watching me and as I looked up she turned around and left off in a different direction. Does this mean she ever felt the same about me and did she avoid me on purpose? Or is it all in my head and I should leave it in the past?
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There are a lot of factors to be considered why she did that certain actions. First, in my basic opinion that means that she could have the same feeling for you but was afraid to tell because you are her bestfriend's boyfriend and the feeling of guilt and awkwardness are rushing into her. 2nd, she might just had avoided you for the fact that you had a hidden feelings for her but you have a girlfriend and it's her bestfriend. It would be a shame to both of you if you would continue your feelings for her and same as her. If I were you, forget the hidden feeling you had for her and be honest to your girlfriend. I wish that if you and your girlfriend might break-up her bestfriend might not be next in her line.
you should leave everything in the past and go on happily with your girlfriend.
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Females seem to have a cardinal rule to never date or respond in any way to a guy who is dating a girlfriend of theirs. In fact, long after a couple breaks up, the girl is still unlikely to go after the guy now that he is single for fear of hurting the girlfriends feelings or making her angry and ruining their friendship. She will only date if she gets a girlfriends blessing and okay to do so.
A few may act otherwise but this seems to be the majority of females actions in such a situation.
I don't see why you are surprised she didn't mention what you said to her girlfriend. What would she gain from doing so? Were you too chicken to break up with the girl yourself and hoping her revelation to her friend would make the girl so angry that she not only breaks up with you but choose to stop being her friend too?
Cus thats a good possibility. Perhaps you would have lost the girlfriend but the two girls stuck together as friends. Did you think if your girlfriend dumped you for that revelation that the 'other chick' would come running to you to take her place because you said you would prefer to be with her. Maybe. But theres also a chance this girl wasnt stupid and could see this as a fault in your character.
I am sorry this sounds harsh man, but you've got to understand when you are doing something that could turn girls off regarding you rather than attract them to go. Trying to do you a favor here.
The fault is not for being with a girl and realizing that you are no longer interested in her. Thats part of what dating is about. Finding what you like and dont like about the opposite sex and always improving on your next girl friend because what you learn in dating will help you to find your eventual life time partner whether married or not.
It takes balls to ask a girl out in the first place and ask her to be your girl friend, it takes even bigger balls to be honest and upfront and explain why you no longer wish to be with her. Always remember that the other person is not lacking in their character, they are just different. You need to find the girl that is right for you. As soon as you realize someone is not right for you, to make them go on believing all is okay is not fair to them, its called leading someone on. It also is not fair to yourself to settle for less. Many people tho end up doing just that in selecting a marriage partner and end up feeling trapped. Silly humans...its a trap of their own making and yet the door stands open ready for them to just march right on back out if they had the balls to admit to their partner that they aren't happy and that it isnt working any longer. Of course usage of tact is important but it is a part of life that shouldn't be ignored or pushed on the back burner cus of fear of hurting someone. Of course someone is going to feel hurt, depends on who is doing the breaking up. But that is again....part of life and cant be avoided. After time has gone on and the partner released from dating or marriage and found someone better for themself, they will actually be thankful to you for letting them go.
I want to make sure you understand the concept of how not just any girl you find visually attractive will be perfect for you cus thats just not true. Remember the toys for toddlers with square triangle and round holes and pieces in those shapes to insert into those holes? Just in case you're wondering, no i am not refering to the sex act..lol. What I am saying is: Imagine the you are the square hole and you keep trying to date girls who are triangle pegs and rounds pegs, they are not going to be a perfect match for you, nor you a perfect match for them. It doesnt mean a triangle peg gal has anything wrong with her, she's just not found a triangle hole guy yet to date, and you as a round hole are wrong for her.
On to the next issue: You state you hadn't seen her in 8 months, but nothing regarding whether you are still dating her friend or not. iF you are not single and she knows it, how can you expect her to even approach you and say Hi. You can't know what she was thinking or feeling because you caught her staring at you. Not unless you are a mind reader. I doubt that. I am not a mind reader either. So I can not tell you that she has the still feelings for you, but it is possible and as I said, she will not interfere as long as you are dating someone and not unless she got her girlfriends okay to date you. bUt that would mean you would have had to break up with the girlfriend. Hmm what a quandry.
I can think of another reason she was staring at you. You wont like it. She could have been looking at you in disgust cus she despises you for continueing to date her while you are in love with her, for not having the guts to break it off and be truthful at least with her friend. And thinking how lucky she is that you never asked her first to date you.
Why didnt she tell on you. Most girls don't believe it when it comes from a friend. THEY just assume its a tactic from their girlfriend to get the guy for herself and usually the girls end up estranged from each other for a while or for good. Why do females act this way regarding guys? Cus they are very territorial. Where one has made her mark, no other will go near just like in the animal kingdom.
Frankly I am surprised to hear that you are college age and have so little clues when it comes to dating. But then again, perhaps you have no experience except for this one girl you were dating, so I must give you the benefit of the doubt. Yes, at this point, it is all in your head. You only said something to the friend of the girlfriend. She never said anything back...likely due to being in shock. You obviously still have an interest in her whether its purely lust driven or love driven, and all you do is wonder about it. So yes its still in your head, not out in reality. Should you leave it in the past. What is the IT you want to leave in the past?
Regret for having said anything at all cus you've decided you're sticking with the girlfreind after all? Yes leave it in the past.
Regret that you never broke up with the girl you no longer had interest in? No, it can't be left in the past. Its a current issue that you've been too chicken to deal with.
Sorry that you never broke up and asked her to date you instead? I assume you are not dead since you wrote me. Theres a saying, 'You haven't failed until you're dead." So as long as you are still living and breathing, you can take that other path. You break up if you haven't with any girl who doesnt feel right for you. Then go seek out the one who did interest you. Apologize for your cowardly attitude in the past. Assure her you have come to a decision and realized her girlfriend wasn't the right one for you. You dont know whether she is either but you are attracted and would like the opportunity to discover is the two of you do click or not. Ask her if she is attracted to you too. If she isnt', then cut your losses and dont bug her again and keep searching for Miss square peg to fit square You.
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