Just here to help
I don't sugar coat things, I am honest and truthful
Hi,
My name is "Lucy" Of course that isn't my real name.
I answer any questions that come to my in box, However if you don't receive an answer within 2 days more than likely your question has been rejected for a good reason.
I answer anything of the following only;
Relationships/Relationship Abuse/Cheating/Family Issues/Depression/Anxiety/Random Weirdos
NOTE: At times I am brutally honest this is not intended to offend anyone as I am here to give advice. I am straight to the point and I put a finger down on certain questions asked.
- Lucy
Age: 26
Member Since: September 17, 2009
Answers: 575
Last Update: July 24, 2010
Visitors: 32634
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ThirdQED
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i am a virgin point blank and i plan to stay that way for a long time. the other day some guy really wanted to have sex with me but i refused. he ended up managing to get all my clothes off but still nothing happened. i guess he was mad abd i was just uncomfortably laying next to him... he statred jerking off and his *** splattered everywhere. i remember it hitting my arm and thy but idk if it splattered on my...or where else. immediatdaly got up wiped it off. got dressed a and nd left... im a very paranoid person and need to know... do u think im pregnant??? (link)
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No, Very unlikely.
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He cuts me down and treats me like a little kid. Nothing I do is right. He play fights with me in front of his friends but is super rough almost like he enjoys hurting me. When he does that and yell me if I cry he'll just call me a baby.I'm not super annoying either, I try to help him in school so he wont fail and all he does is want to copy my work and he talks about other girls around me. He started doing this when we got in the tenth grade. Idk what to think? (link)
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Your boyfriend is an ass. Dump him, Cut contact, Keep it that way and move on. You deserve better what he is doing is using you and it's wrong.
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I gave my boyfriend head for the first time almost 3 weeks ago and every single time we get together he wants me to do it again. He will whine and beg and even do the pout face about it and make me feel really guilty. We haven't had sex yet but this is really bugging me. How do I just tell him no but that I do love him or that I want to hang out without doing this to him every time? I just want a real relationship and not be used for sex. I wish I never did this! :( (link)
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Your boyfriend just prooved to you that all he wants is sex. You need to move on
A guy that cares about committment doesn't put their girlfriends in guilt, As nobody likes to be pigeon holed into doing something. If you want a real relationship with committment and romance you need to dump him and move on.
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I am from Malaysia. Married with 4 kids. Age 40. Husband 47. I caught my husband 6 months after he was having an emotional relationship with one of his chat-mates. That person sent her photos which seems to be a mexican actress photos(not her real photos because i found out that she was from BENIN, west africa).I read some of her mail to my husband. I was extremely hurt and angry and i comfronted my husband. He appologised and told me that it was ended dec 2009.I have no choice but to accept but still hurt and couldnt forget what he had done.After that I secretly traced his working on the internet and found out that he already deleted all of the downloded site which link to the DATINGs site. I checked his mail and so far there are no suspicious email.The problem is he always goes outstation and i wont know whether he is faithful to me or not. Question is what should I do. Can I trust him. Pls advice.
Rgds (link)
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Would I trust him?..No
Your husband has disrespected you, Betrayed you and lied to you. Your husband had cheated on you, In my opinion you do not need to have sexual contact with someone to consider it cheating.
I don't know how it is in Malaysia, but you have marriage couselor I recommend going. If he is not willing to listen to you and work things out, Then I would say I think it's time for a divorce. Me? I would call it quits...I don't give people second chances expecially it if were my husband on dating sites...:/
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My husband and I have been married for going on 3 yrs. We have 2 toddlers and a wonderful loving relationship. In Feb my husband began going through "issues" he didn't know if he was happy in our relationship. I let him go and he stayed with his mother for a week or two. He eventually came back to me, claiming he didnt know what he was thinking all the while talking about how much he hated staying with his family. Since this incident we have been fine. We have always been fine even during the split. This lowered my confidence of myself. Since this issue we have no romance. He tells me he loves me when getting of the phone or leaving. There is no romance. I have been trying really hard... doing new things to spice it up and still no response. I crave the attention... I feel alone and I don't feel like he wants to be in the relationship anymore, but he doesnt want to end up at his moms again. I don't know if he will ever admit to wanting somehting different. I just don't know what to do. (link)
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As I do not know the relationship between you and your husband but I would say you two need to sit down and talk about your marriage. If he is willing to work it out, Then that shows you he cares enough to put the effort into making it work. However, If he doesn't seem to budge then as I hate to suggest you might want to think about marriage conseling..If he still doesn't budge then it might be time to think things over. It could be stress, depression...Or simply falling out of love.
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i have a new guy ive been dating for about two months but he plays games like the im not interested game but when questioned explains hes all about me...so the other night when my guy stood me up(which he later explained his fone died) i ue met with a new guy and had a one night stand i really enjoyed the experience but i feel bad do i explain to my man what happened or let it go and part of me wants to continue having sex with new guy idk wht to do please help me? (link)
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Despite the relationship status, Or how the relationship is going. You need to dump him, Not lead him on. If you found someone new then do the right thing by leaving your current relationship. How would you feel if someone cheated on you?..THINK ABOUT THAT ONE. It's wrong, At least be mature enough to dump him and move on.
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mmkay... so theres this guy that Ive been talking to a lot lately, and he says that Im cute and really nice to talk to. He said that nothing would probably happen anytime soon, considering our age difference, and considering he lives in another state. I know what you're thinking, nothing would ever happen, and this girl should date/like someone her own age. I've tried. I just cant stop thinking about him. Just talking to him puts a smile on my face. He said that in the future, we'll never know what might happen. We might be together. I told him that he didnt have to say that stuff just because I like him. I told him to say exactly what he was thinking. Then he said that he thinks I'm amazing. He's a really sweet guy, and he says that he's gonna wait till he gets married to have sex. (dont ask how that came up) But... I dont know what to do. Obviously, nothing's going to happen anytime soon, but is there any hope for me at all? (link)
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A man of age 19 years old showing interest in someone of age 14 and you don't see where this is wrong???...
It should raise concerns, At 19 he is a man legally. Stay away from him, Maybe when you get older (18) when you are legal you can consider dating. However for now you are a minor and he is an adult and can get in serious trouble. That's WRONG
EDIT: Yes, I read everything you wrote and I stick to what I said above. The man is a pervert for looking at little children.
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Okay lets say you knew this girl was fourteen dating a sixteen year old boy, if you found out that she (she's now fifteen) let him finger her, gave him a hj and a bj, would you judge her?? they dated for seven months. I think you can see that I'm the girl... haha (link)
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This will be a little blunt..
I am a firm believer in waiting until at least 17, Younger folks that are sexually experienced I normally don't respect or really care for. I find them under peer presure and uneducated.
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Okay... I have a question. I am fifteen now, but I was fourteen at the time, and my bf was sixteen. When we were dating I was what you would call "whipped". I basically let my bf do whatever he wanted, except when he asked for a hand job. I kept telling him no, no, no. But one night we were hanging out and making out on the couch. We were getting pretty into it and all of the sudden he just pulled down his shorts, grabbed my hand, put it on his you know what, and started moving my hand with his hand. It happened so quick, it took me a second to realize what was going on and when I did I pulled my hand away and started crying. I never even talked to him about it after that... but now that were broken up it keeps coming back to me and I don't know why. It wasn't that bad was it?? I don't know what to do... why is this bothering me so muchh??? (link)
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Don't go back to him, Ignore him.
Pulling his pants down and putting your hands on his penis after you've said no, He pressured you into doing something you didn't want to do. Clearly, He disrespected you. Is it worong? Yes.
Date someone who respects you, Will wait until you are ready and won't pressure you or force you into doing something you don't want to do. It's bothering you because you know it was wrong, Don't EVER let a guy control you.
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I'm 18 and my bf is 19, we are planning on getting married, is it the right thing to do? (link)
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No
You are way to young to be thinking of marriage, You have years ahead of you for that.
People who marry young have a high risk for divorce, I highly suggest you wait. Weddings are expensive and divorces are not cheap either.
Don't rush into it, Continue doing what you are doing and be happy. At least wait until you are both over 21. You'll be better off that way
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My boyfriend's 18th birthday day is coming up and I wanted to get him a plane ticket to where he used to live.. but his parents said no. (I know he's 18 but he still lives under his parents roof.)
We live in Rhode Island so I was thinking about taking him to Block Island for the day but I also want to get him a really nice present.. I just don't know what.
I'm willing to spend around $300.
Thanks for the help! :) (link)
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I also live in Rhode Island
Why don't you try taking him to Newport? Maybe you could do the Cliff walk?
You could also try taking him to Step Stone Falls it's a great place near the Coventry area...Here's a link..
http://www.visitrhodeisland.com/what-to-do/bird-watching-and-nature-walks/1258/step-stone-falls/
I'm not sure where in RI you live but with 300 bucks you could take your boyfriend on an awesome day trip to Boston. The train departs from Providence just check the AMTRAK website :)
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i am 20 my ex bf is 21. we were together for the pass two years. we were on and off for those two years for various reasons. we broke up this febuary and tried to be friends which didnt work because we spent all day together, talked to each other more than our friends, and were intimate but just didnt label ourselve bf/gf. we completly stopped all of this in march.
during our relationship, he wanted me to change some things to better myself and "our" future at the time. examples: like a better job, or move out, be more comfortable around his friends and family. (i was a shy girl).
three weeks ago, i was the one who texted him two weeks ago. we had lunch and he asked how i was doing and how my life was going. i told him i had found a much better job, i wasnt even looking just came across it from a friend and was hired. i went on his dream vacation and to a basketball game of his favorite team. i am even more open to people i meet and less shy, thanks to him. after lunch i asked to be friends, he said he couldnt handle it. he could never introduce me to anyone as his friend because he still loves me and cares for me too much. he couldnt even be my friend on facebook because he would get jealous and look at my fb stats. a week later we decided to be friends, he was hesitate at first but agreed to be actual friends this time.
then i told him my plan that i might move out because i am fiancially set now. he freaked out on me and said he cant be my friend. he thinks im doing this just to get back or make him jealous. he thinks i didnt make myself better when i was with him because i didnt care about him enough. he knows that its spiteful and he should be happy for me but he cant be. he said that im going to be the perfect girl and i will be with someone else so we cannot be friends. then he told me. "i hope whoever you marry, you have learned to love." this might have been out of anger when he saw me with a guy two nights ago.
i did grow up and mature from when i met him two years ago. but i am not doing this to make him jealous or to get him back. we had a lot of issues that we needed to work on and i think we are better off single or not with each other for now at least. i do love him and always will. he has helped me mature in so many ways and i have told him thank you numerous times, thats why i want him in my life as a friend. maybe years down the road we could be together but not now.
i just want to be his friend and have him understand that i am doing this for myself more then anyone else. i dont want him to be spiteful either but i know i cant force it on him and he has to do it alone...any word of advice?
Thanks
(link)
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Sit down with him and talk to him, Simply tell him that you have a few things you feel that he should know.
Explain to him how you feel, If you still love him (assuming you do) then tell him that. Let him know that life has turned around for you for the better and you are ready to take a leap at the important things in life and if he is with you, That you'd like to take that leap in life with his support.
Sometimes with people, They are afraid of change. People who are in their late teens and early twenties are on their way to taking the next step in life. Better Jobs, Ending or Attending College, Moving out, and this is were many of us hesitate and become confused. Your ex sounds like he doesn't know what he wants..
This is yours to find out, Sit him down and talk it out sometimes a successful relationship means setting a goal together. If you just wanted to remain friends with your spouse..You could try it. However, If you do maybe cut down the amount of time you spend with him because in the end it will only go back the way it did previously. If your ex is too afraid to take a leap at life and is "jealous" of your changes and independence then maybe it would be best just to be friends and not try the relationship again as then you will realize you'd be in two different stages in your lives. Talk to him but at the same time don't let him hold you back by his hesitating.
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how did you meet? i'm just curious to see what's out there. (link)
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Sometimes love is right under your eye...
As I met my husband 4 years after I had graduated High School.
He was in town visiting his cousin and I happened to run into him 3 days before he was to go back home which was out of state. From there on out we started talking and we hit it off.
We talked for a month and then he asked me out and it was a happy successful long relationship that became a marriage.
Turns out later I learn that we both attended the same summer camp as kids, We both went to the same middle school...and the odds we both had the same classes.
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sorry to ask this but ya so i gave head today and i swallowed his sperm and like an hour after i did that i was wondering what happens to it when it get swallowed? (link)
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It just sit in your stomach so basically nothing happens.
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Hello >.< This will be a long story..Please read though .< (link)
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No
Exes say a lot of things to get the current spouse jealous, Never forget she is an "EX". Sometimes people will say and do whatever it takes to not see their ex happy..Therefore your boyfriends ex is telling you all kinds of craziness. She may seem nice...but her actions say otherwise.
Ignore her, Ignore her family, Ignore her Dad
This is about YOU and your BOYFRIEND, This doesn't have anything to do with the family. If they harass you and your boyfriend then you get the proof and go to the police and let them handle it. Ignore them
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Iv been with my common law wife for 6 years and sex life was good untill she turned 34 and now I don't have any sex with her I'm 39 and we should be in our prime still her sex drive is none mine on the other hand is very. High when I ask her what's. Our problem she explains it hurts when we have sex .I'm not no huge man down there I would say average 7 and a half or so but I remember when we did have sex she would bleed sometimes its been way over a year now and lotion and my hand gets boring what am I to do (link)
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Talk to your wife, Ask her how it hurts and try to figure out ways to make sex better for both you and her.
Have you tried using lubricant?...Lubricant is supposed to help sex be more pleasurable.
If you have, She might want to try to make an appointment with her Gynecologist.
If you two have been getting at each other roughly sometimes that can cause a woman to experience pain in their abdominal and vaginal area.
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Ok the LOVE OF MY LIFE is in prison for 7 freaking years! He really does care about me but thats so long! I love him but were in two tottally differents worlds ritte now. What should I do?? (link)
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The best thing to do is move on, 7 years is a VERY long time to wait for someone. Also, If this person is above the age of 18, They will have a hell of a time at success. If you two are in completely different worlds don't mess yours up by holding yourself back. Move on and find someone who will be right for you and support you in the way you deserve.
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ive been with this person for 3 years and im not his gurlfriend we see each other weekly. even thought were together we not in a sirious relation ship i have avoided his phone call and will continue to do so until i got great advice or he shows up at my door which i dought he doesncuz he so into himself (link)
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If you have been together with someone for 3 years and they won't give you the titled "Girlfriend" Then they don't deserve you.
3 years is along time to stay with someone who doesn't care to call it a relationship, This guy sounds like a real jerk and if it has been 3 years and you aren't his girlfriend then Hun ...you might never really get that title. You need to move on because you deserve better. A guy that truly appreciates you will gladly label you as his girlfriend, Will want to spend time with you.
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but i dont ppl to think im gay or bisexual and treat me different (link)
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This is where you need to come to make peace with yourself, There are judgmental people everywhere. The first step towards knowing your sexuality, Is excepting the possibilities.
There are few things you could do;
1. You could continue to date girls
2. Try to date both guys and girls
Remember, It is probably just curiosity getting the best of you, Despite us all admitting the problem we all go through it at some point in our lives. When I was teenager, I also had interest in girls but in time I learned that I wasn't bisexual, Gay, Lesbian I am indeed straight.
The world is full of people that will always think differently, You could be straight and dating a female and still there will always be someone who disagrees. You just need to learn to ignore people, Life is so much easier when you just ignore idiots like that. Don't be afraid to express yourself.
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My partner and I have been sexually active and I'm on birth control. However, as a back-up plan I generally like to use condoms. We've both been tested for STI's and everything (I just believe in never being too safe.)
The issue is, my partner says sex is "dull" with a condom on (we've tried numerous brands) and that he really prefers sex without a condom, because he can actually "feel everything".
This has made me insecure, and I guess I'm wondering if this is normal of him to feel that way. I've heard a lot of guys complain about condoms decreasing the pleasure of having sex - is there any truth to this?
I just feel inadequate and want to please him.
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It is not uncommon for a guy to dislike using condoms, However there really isn't much you can do about it. A condom is what prevents STD and unwanted pregnancy.
My partner has also complained about condoms in the past as well, What you could try is lubricant. Lubricant helps sex to be more pleasurable by adding extra comfort to sex, It helps the penis to insert the vagina comfortably.
You could try using Ultra thin condoms (Not sure if you've tried that brand) However, Like I always say...No Glove, No love. All it takes is one shot.
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