|
boy question: was this bad??
Okay... I have a question. I am fifteen now, but I was fourteen at the time, and my bf was sixteen. When we were dating I was what you would call "whipped". I basically let my bf do whatever he wanted, except when he asked for a hand job. I kept telling him no, no, no. But one night we were hanging out and making out on the couch. We were getting pretty into it and all of the sudden he just pulled down his shorts, grabbed my hand, put it on his you know what, and started moving my hand with his hand. It happened so quick, it took me a second to realize what was going on and when I did I pulled my hand away and started crying. I never even talked to him about it after that... but now that were broken up it keeps coming back to me and I don't know why. It wasn't that bad was it?? I don't know what to do... why is this bothering me so muchh???
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
this is rape. ive had this happen to me.. altho a bit more advanced.
and i know EXACTLY what your feeling.. its wrong!
i didnt tell the police about getting raped as out situation is complicated. altho i think you should. especailly as you were only young!
it bothering you because you found it creepy. sso you never wanted to do it... which is why this boy forced you. so its freaking you out.
it might take time to get over it. but you will i promise.
and if you ever get in this kind of relationship again. get out of it. getting "whipped" is not a relationship.... its more like pet/owner. which isnt healthy.... you should be someones guinea pig.
i wish you good luck in getting over this.. and you will :)
]
Why does what happened bother you so much? In a sense your Ex boyfriend raped you.
If you look at the definition of rape: It is the forcing of a sexual act upon another. By taking your hand and placing it on his penis and attempting to get you to masturbate him, also known as giving a hand job; this is a sexual act. By forcing you, which he did, is considered rape. Sexual intercourse does not have to happen to meet the standard for rape.
You did the right thing by pulling your hand away and sending the boy home and not seeing him again. That of itself does not lessen the feeling that he violated you and this is why you are so bothered by this so long after the event. You have every right to feel violated.
My advice is you is to tell your parents what happened. What this boy did was wrong; it was a hand job with you. The next time he may actually force a girl to have intercourse with him. You and your parents should discuss this with local law enforcement. I know you don’t want to get the boy in trouble, but what about the next time he tries something. You could be saving his next victim the same pain you are going through. I would also like you to contact an organization called RAINN, Rape, Incest, National, Network. They operate a 24 hour hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE. This hotline is staffed 24hrs a day by trained counselors who will help you and help you find trained rape crisis counselors in your area who will help you. RAINN also has a website: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
Review the website, call the hotline, and talk with your parents and local law enforcement. Get professional help with how you are feeling. This is not something that will pass overtime. It will continue to fester until you properly address this issue.
Your parents are not going to be made at you. I know I’m a parent old enough to be your grandparent. You did nothing wrong. Every teenager makes out with their boyfriend/girlfriend. You set your limits and he was well aware of your limits. He went well past simply violating your set limits into what can be considered Rape. You may not believe this but by reporting him to local law enforcement you will be doing him a favor even if he is not charged. You will most defiantly save another girl the pain you are suffering.
]
It's bothering you most likely because it was your first time ever doing that. He hurt you and it's going to be on your mind for awhile. You'll never forget it but eventually it won't bug you as much. That guy was a jerk so forget about him and don't go back to him. I hope everything goes well.
]
I'm sorry this happend >.< First of all he's not a good guy and don't ever assoicate with him ever again. He doesn't like the others said respect you..and thats a key in a relationship respect..when a guy cares about you he doesnt pressure you into anything, he waits until your ready so it will be an amazing expirence. It keeps coming back to you because its something new to you, diffrent and you weren't ready for it. Evenutally you will put it behind you, won't forget it thats for sure but don't worry there will be better guys out there!
once again I'm sorry..>.<
Hope I helped <3
Emily <3
]
because you didnt want to do it look he is a jerk and you derserve better find someone else that understands you and really loves you for you. it wasnt that bad i agree but still it was probbly your first and that is probbly why its on your mind
]
Don't go back to him, Ignore him.
Pulling his pants down and putting your hands on his penis after you've said no, He pressured you into doing something you didn't want to do. Clearly, He disrespected you. Is it worong? Yes.
Date someone who respects you, Will wait until you are ready and won't pressure you or force you into doing something you don't want to do. It's bothering you because you know it was wrong, Don't EVER let a guy control you.
]
More Questions: |