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Hi my name is Lee Ann. I am 29 years old and Graduated from Bethany college obtaining a bachelors of music. I am a happily married woman with two kids, ages3 and 2. I currently have six books out on the market, all of which can be found on amazon. The first is called The Leaf: One fallen heart and a burning desire, my second is called Avengement of Glory, my third is called Spiral of Enlightenment, fourth one is called Prodigy of the Immortal, fifth one is called Augment in the Realm of Darkness, and my sixth novel is called Bond in the Spiritual Heart. I started this advice column to see if I could give good advice. Turns out I am pretty good, better than I thought actually. I enjoy seeing people smile when I give them good advice and they use it. It makes me feel better as a person to help people. I want to make the world a better place and I think that starting an advice column is the right way to begin. Writing is a huge part of my life, without it, I wouldn't be able to function properly. After seven years, I think I have done pretty well as an advice columnist.
advice
I am a girl, currently in Grade 12, and I have had a crush on this one guy in my grade since halfway through first semester grade 9.
He is really cute, and he loves singing and history. He is really funny, but can also be quite serious. He tends to be quite loud in class(he is in no way shy), but he is so sweet and kind and honest that the teachers rarely get mad at him.
I am quite(extremely...) shy when in a group setting, but one on one I tend to open up a bit. However, I only ever see this guy in class, in choir, and when our two friend groups (occasionally) hang out together.
He is always hanging around with this one group of girls, but he would never date any of them, so I know that's not an issue. The problem is that he's always with them. I get along well with all of them, a couple are even sort of my friends, but it would be awkward for me to just join their group when they are talking or whatever. I have in the past, like if they are in my class and my regular friends aren't but its just a little awkward...anyways yeah I feel too awkward to get closer to him that way.
He jokes around a lot, and when we are in a small group of people together, he sometimes/often teases me more than the other people in the group. In class the other day, he came over to talk to me, and he asked me about why I had been late for class that morning. He has done similar things a number of times in the past.
Also, just to point out, he is straight. I know this for sure. The girls he hangs out with have been his friends for years, they are like sisters to him...
Another problem- I am scared to tell my friends I like him. I told them a couple years ago, but they laughed and told me we would make a really awkward couple (probably because I'm 5'9", and at the time he was super skinny and like 5'3", but he's grown since then). I would love to have their support, but we don't really talk about guys much, and I feel like I've been lying to them for years about this guy..not that I ever lied...I just didn't speak up...
Also, casual out-of-school meetings are difficult because he lives in a different city than I do, although we go to the same school (it's a private school). I can't just casually invite him to do something with me like randomly on a Saturday because he lives like a 45 minute drive away..
I guess what I want to know is: do I have any chance with him? and how do I got about getting that chance?
The question what happens when something happens? You said you are a senior, so you must have plans for college and so does he? Are they in the Realm of each other? You said so yourself you couldn't hang out outside of school because of the distance, so you wouldn't be able to go on dates. The question isn't about whether he likes you or not, he does. It isn't about you not having a chance, because you do. I think if there are too many obstacles that would prevent you guys from having a normal, non awkward relationship, it wouldn't work out. The best thing to do is to ask him hypothetically if you guys were to do an activity outside of school, would he be willing to meet you halfway.
Question Posted Tuesday October 4 2011, 1:28 pm
i do not know how to start this but appology for this long statement. i couldn't analyze these things anymore... let me start it this way, i am married for almost two years now and i love my husband. recently, i work with this lady and i find her very attractive. the thing is i don't know if she's gay or not and sending me mixed signals. i find her going on her way just to be around me or something, used to flirt with me before (i've seen her before i worked with her), stares at me when am not looking, used to stare at me when i was talking (before) and seems to be jealous when i talk to another men (like in a friendly way, not flirty). MOST IMPORTANTLY, i wonder so much why does our coworkers watches us whenever we are around together. they look at us, literally! it seems to me that they are listening to our body language or something. i don't understand... i really don't. since i started working with her i don't remember doing any flirtatious act on her. i never have. the only thing that happened was before i worked with her. like i say 2-3 times. well anyways, all of these happened before until last night... she worked with me directly and asked me bunches of personal questions like how is my husband, where did we met, etc and etc... do i have plans going back home to my country. i said yes i do. but am looking for someone to fly with me so i won't be by myself. she said she would go, she'd love to. then later when i asked her to go out with me and my friends because my other friend is bringing another person ( i don't wanna be out of place) she said yes if i wanted her to go (said yeah i do) and asked if we go to a bar and i said nope we don't do that. we just go out shopping. she said that's cool. i just thought you want me to WORK FOR YOU (what in the world does that mean???). that really got me. i laughed it out though. i asked her number and she gave it to me. later i asked her if she wanna go out watch movie, she said it's up to us. i can see she seemed to be starting in doubt, so when i got off from work i told her she don't have to go if she don't want to and that if something would come up. i even said i really like her and she said oh really? (she said it in a deep low voice) but i didn't told her that in a romantic way. she said she'll let us know and that she's saving her money because she's going to college soon. well anyways the fact is nobody knows am bisexual but i can see that she can sense that (that am bi). well, an hour after i texted her and she seems to be not interested or something...? i asked her questions and she answers it but she's not reciprocating my point on texting her and asking her out. i just wanna know her and be friends. she's very nice in every way. gracious i must say. am attracted to her, i admit that. however, i know where i stand on my ground and i cannot act on it. did she found everything weird? is she losing interest on me or did she even have an interest with me at all?
i honestly don't know what is going on so please please please i need everybody's help here analyzing these situation. am not even understanding my own self. i wanna know what is going on with her and what does she want from me.i
In honesty it sounds like she was looking for a best friend to hang out with and do things in a strictly friend zone manner. Sometimes those feelings develop, I am not saying that, but maybe you are coming off a little syrong. A take a few steps back and start over. Honesty is always the best way to approach anything. I would ask her what is wrong and if there is anything you can do to help.
if a boy asks you out and says he loves you how do you know if hes joking or not.
Usually they use sarcasm when you say or do something funny. It's like when your best friend says you are funny I love you. If they say it after a serious conversation, then they usually mean. Depending on the age, it usually takes awhile for real and sincere love to develop. Others say you can love someone at first sight. Just pay attention to how they say it and what you were doing before and after. If you are kissing and he says it, it's most likely sincere.
I have a boyfriend now but before I had him I talked to another guy. I liked that guy a lot but I let him down, lied to him, and said no to going out with him. Now he has a girlfriend. I really like him still and can't get him off of my mind. I'm hurt with thinking about how things with me and him ended. I can't stop blaming myself because it was my fault! He won't talk to me anymore and I just can't go on living like this with so much regret. I miss him and want him back. What should I do? Sorry this is so confusing I don't know how to put it into words...
It is often hard to deal with regret especially when it comes to something we didn't realize we wanted. When my husband and I were dating the first time, I broke it off. I feel regret and had to watch him date other people. Him and I didn't speak for an entire year until we became friends again. Then we fell in love all over again and the second time was the charm. My point is, even if he isn't talking to you right now, there is still hope. Try sending him an email or text laying out your regrets, your hopes of being together, and what you want. Some things take time to resolve, but if you don't try, you are only causing even more grief for yourself.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. He is my everything, my rock, my supporter, and my best friend. We click perfectly. I can never cease being myself around him, even when I haven't showered and smell...haha. He does a lot for me, even paying for my college funds I don't have the money or time for. He provides me with so much support and gives me confidence and understanding. We're like best friends, and it feels like I could never get tired of him, even when he aggravates me. We fight, but only little arguments. I am definitely a handful, but he hasn't quit on me yet. He has a steady job (but no car...), and we share a lot of common interests in videogames, tv shows, music, and life itself. We plan to marry after college.
I started college Monday, August 19th. Classes were fun, but I lack friends and seem to only be able to talk casually and comfortably with guys, never girls. I don't know what it is, but I have a very hard time conversing with girls. I feel judged or nervous. I made a friend at the college bookstore today. His name is Anthony. We chatted for hours, and he sparked a lot of my interests and we shared a lot of common hobbies and likes. Anthony really caused quite a stir in my stomach. I developed a lot of butterflies and nervousness when I was around him. I wanted to know everything about him, and I developed a huge crush on him after a few hours of chatting face to face. He got my number and we started texting in a friendly manner.
This situation has happened before, where I fall for another while I am still with my boyfriend. We got through it and continue to get through it, since I can't ever seem to stop flirting. It's not sexual, I just get bored and lonely sometimes when my boyfriend is busy. I feel like a bad person, a really bad one. My boyfriend and I are absolutely perfect for each other, and every time I think about being without him, I cry. I can't fix this. I have talked to other guys before and flirted like this before several times. I love my boyfriend, but not as much as I thought if I keep doing this. I am 18, and he is 19...and Anthony is 28, which my parents would never approve. I can't shake Anthony out of my head, and when my boyfriend texts me, I get sad it's not Anthony. My boyfriend and I have drifted apart in my eyes, I just don't feel any interest now. I am such a bad girlfriend...someone please help me. I don't want to have another problem when this relationship is so perfect...
It would seem you see the qualities in Anthony you wished your current boyfriend had. It not uncommon to feel a stranded from someone you love. You feel like you aren't on the same page anymore. Life after hs is very hard and it seems you have grown up and he hasn't. You aren't a bad girlfriend, you just want different things. I think that finding a man at college would be your best bet. You want someone succeeding with you, not lagging behind and making you feel guilty. You will always have your love, but its best to find someone on the same path or someone with goals for the future.
I've never really known what the difference between loving someone and actually being in love was. So basically I just want someone to tell me what the real differnce is between the two.
P.S. The reason I'm asking is because I really like this guy and ive been liking him for like 6 months already and I wanna know if I'm in love with him or not. Thanks for all your help!
When you love someone, it is not permanent. If you were to get in fight, its no big deal. Loving someone means you rely on them as more of as a friend than anything else. This is usually how relationships always start out in the beginning.
To be in love with someone completely means no matter what, you cannot live without them. You think about them from the moment you get up to the moment you go to bed. And some cases you dream about them. This person is all you see and can't imagine being with anyone else. They are, in turn, your life.
I'm 18/F
I've never been kissed, never been on a date, and have never been in a relationship.
Is that normal? I feel like i'm not good enough for anyone to love me, or even like me...
I mean... I've never really put myself out there, or flirted or anything, but no one's ever made an effort for me either.
I'm just kinda freaking out over this.
Actually I was the exact same way. I put my ambitions and goals before any guys. I want a future before thinking about dating and such. When you hit around 23 or 24, it may or may not change. I view it as your smart and don't want anything to compromise your future. It just doesn't appeal to you right now. I wouldn't freak at all about it because it is perfectly normal.
Hi.
Thank You for letting me fills out my guts! Frist I explained little about myself. I am 26 years old I am Hard of Hearing and I Live with my parents. I don’t drive and have a Job. looking for one. Anyway I am Dating Guy for 2 half years. I love him very much he is a nice and sweet and funny. Thing is we have differences. Like Religion. It not a big issue to me but it sure is for him and his family. Thing is there beliefs they read the bible from words to words. They don’t celebrated holidays and that we don’t need crosses and pictures I know in the bible say don’t make or worship idols. I know that. And me and my family are very compassion and we try to do God work by care and doing for others. I mean it not really big deal to me if they don’t want to do holidays and know we don’t need have crosses and such. I can get that but thing is real issue is him dragging me down sometimes and thing is I should of mention I know it not really excuse to say… I am hard of hearing and well growing up little behind. I am using words thing to correct my spelling and grammar. Thing is that he has a sister that is married to a family have their own little church that they go to and read the bible for their self. Thing is that couple people that talks don’t know very well and they don’t know me and of course I don’t think want to. Thing is that I am not very comfortable around people that try to teach me or I was like that when I was in school. Plus I am not comfortable around people I don’t know very well. The church I went with my mom we grow up same church and I know people our church because I know them. And I know that we go to church and worship God and I do from my heart and I am very compassion. Thing is I know it hard find real problem here. I think that I do take things wrong way and I know that but sometimes I don’t think my boyfriend don’t seem get it. I think I am losing the love I have for him. He wants to cuddle and kiss all the time and I am not in to it. I don’t know what it is. Is there something wrong with me? Other thing is when I am getting close to PMS is when I get feel out of whack. Thing is I have to be on pills have PMS . I was born little behind and well sometimes I am more of child mind.. Because I am in a fourth grade level and still watch kids’ shows. I do watch some adult shows and movie. It just that I guess I have a young spirit. Well thing is I am going thou depression because I live at home and don’t drive I have I can’t. I kind lost interests of things I want to-do crafts and other things I kind of play on my iPhone and face book. And my boyfriend lives with him parents to and he almost 30 and going lineman school and try save money. I mean we play games together and laugh. And just when he starts talking about religion I feel like he expects me to say something or want me to learn. I do know way I know. I didn’t grow up someone telling me who or what to do I have my own option and am I am good person. I might not read the bible because it hard for me to understand it and I want to. And I don’t like how he want just teach me and I don’t like it I guess. So I think so far pretty much it what I have to say and thanks so much.
It sounds like he is pressuring you into learning about religion more. If you don't want to learn about it, you have to tell him point blank. And its alright if you are not comfortable around meeting new people or being in large groups, because that is normal. Him trying to teach you about the bible only makes you even more uncomfortable. You have to set guide lines and boundaries for your relationship. You have to specifically tell him, hey I don't like when you do this or I feel the most uncomfortable when you do this. Explain to him that you love God, you love the bible, and you appreciate his effort but you don't want him to do it. Guys tend to do things without realizing how much it makes the other person feel whether good or bad. Guys tend to be oblivious or don't really notice things. I know how you feel when it comes to losing feelings for someone, and the only way out of it is by talking to the person. And make sure they are listening and paying attention. Guys tend to go in their own little world. If you have any more questions feel free to send me another inbox.
I am pretty much Fill out what I am feeling. I am try my best for anyone try to understand frist I let you know I do have grammer problem so try to bail with me. if you couldn't understand I can do like email thing and thing I know Advicenators don't want real long messages... so anybody that can be able read some long messages not just long just where it be to long on here. so My advice be on about Religon.. i have a boyfreind and well we have different beliefts and there more but hard to me to explaine that why i thought someone willing really try understasnd read longer messages.. comment me and i can inbox you my long needy advice...
You can send me a long message.
We "can't" ever do anything?
My boyfriend and I have been together a year and 3 months now. He's 19, I'm 18. He has a full time job that he's been at for about a year. I have a part time job since I'm in school still. Usually he works until about four, then I work at five until about nine or ten. So we only really get to spend time together a few hours in a day before it's back to bed then work. On the rare days we get off together I try to do something instead of the usual sit at home, relax and watch tv. But he doesn't ever want to do anything because he says his days off are for him to relax.. I get quite bored just doing that but I just try to understand since he does work 9 hours everyday. I just am afraid it's going to stay like that. Maybe it's just because he's still young and got a full time job at 18 and isn't used to it yet. But on our days off together I would like to go out on a date or something fun and simple. I have to say I'll pay or something extra to motivate him to want to do anything.. I wouldn't leave him for this, but I just am bored. I've expressed this to him, but all it does is hurt his feelings thinking I'm completely bored of him and it makes him think that I don't understand how hard he works everyday, which is entirely not what I mean to do.
That's a tough situation to break, because I know what its like to work everyday and wanting just to lounge on my days off. Why not different things at the house like having a picnic, having a movie night, or having friends over to hang out. I realize you want to get him out of the house and do stuff, but guys are really hard to break when it comes to laziness. Or find something he really likes and would do anything to see them, like maybe a band. Or find someone such as a friend who could motivate him to leave. Most of the time guys can get guys to go out and party. I am not suggesting to go to a party, but having outside help could help with the situation. You could do double dating or something.
21/f Tony -18
So I've known Tony for a long time, but we never stayed close. Fourth of July week we were at the same cabin. We got really close and we started both developing feelings for each other.
The thing is, that he's not my type. He's a country boy and I usually go for the athletic jock types, the ones who are jerks. I think Tony's cute, but it's not like I'm like OMG he's the hottest I'm so lucky! I know it's not all about looks but I just feel like I could do better sometimes :\ not to sound conceited AT ALL.
I don't know what to do! He treats me like a princess tho, he would seriously do anything for me. He opens my car door when I'm leaving, he tells me how beautiful I am every day. He doesn't try to hook up with me because he knows that's not what I want and I'm not like that. I could honestly go on and on about everything he does for me. We're not officially dating yet, we're just "talking" if that's what you want to call it. I'm still a little torn. I'm so comfortable with him. I can even hang out with him when I just get out of the shower and he still reassures me that he thinks i'm beautiful. I need a guy like that. I think me not being that attracted to him and also his age is holding me back.
What should I do! Should I go for it? Should I not? Maybe i'm pushing him away because no guy has ever treated me so good before. I don't know!
The new experience of finally meeting a nice guy is definitely scary and feels weird at the same time. You find yourself wondering if this is to good to be true or if you even could get something so perfect. You go for guys who are jocks and jerks because it was always what you have done. Have you ever seen the movie I Love You Beth Cooper? You have these two people who are complete opposites and yet in the end, they were absolutely perfect for one another. You have the pretty cheerleader how I might add is absolutely nuts and a nerd who is a complete sweetheart. In the end she chose him because he was sweet, nice, and treated you right. You may not be attracted to him right now, but you are drawn to his personality. I think you should give it a shot with him. Once you start dating, you will find yourself falling in love with him, and the attraction will only increase from there. You want a relationship that means something before it gets physical. This is the path to finding what you truly dreamt about or wanted all along.
me nd this guy kissed de first day we met,,talked on de fone 24/7 afta dat,,realli liked each other,,hav loads in common..he lives far from me but we agreed it wont be a problem and he's going to 2nd year in university while am a graduate,,but he didnt mind and i was cool with dat. we met 2nd time kissed in cinema,,3rd time again in same week kissed.,i sucked his dick and he sucked ma breast but no sex., we agreed we be freinds but because we both haven't been in a relationship for de past 2 years we couldnt control out hormones...then we got so close..i hanged up on him as a joke but i said sorry,,,then he called me back afta 3days saying he tinks we are rushing and we should jus be freinds and ever since then we hardly talk..i text him sometimes and he calls me at random times(midnite, afternoon). i tink he misses me but doesnt want to admit it and me too am trying to act mature, ignore him and move on,,but i cant get him out of ma head everyday HELP.,eventhough we didnt go out i still felt hurt by his suddn change and i was hoping we would go out as we were getin close..plzzz HELP with any advice i realii need it asap..thanks
This is the "pull away" act guys often do when they find someone they really like. They find themselves getting too serious and falling for the person. Hes afraid of the idea of a relationship or the idea of getting serious. In the beginning it was all fun, fresh, and games but after some time, you really started to fall for each other. I would advise not giving up on him. If you can't get him out of your head, then that means you do not want to move on from him. Believe me when I say, when it is the hardest to forget someone, it means you weren't meant to. I would be completely honest with him, ask him the next time you talk to him, do you want to talk to me or do you want me to leave you alone forever. If he is given an ultimatum, he will choose quickly. I have a feeling he will admit that he doesn't want to lose you.
13/F
ok so there is this guy,lets call him D and i have a friend, lets call her N.
D is one of my really close friends and so is N, i hang out with D every lunch and recess at school and know him really well, i only hang out with guys at lunch and recess but sometimes N comes 2.
i tell D everything along with N and other close friends, lets call them B,J,f, their are both male and E who is female and others that dont matter in this need of advice.
so one Saturday E came 2 my place for a sleepover and we both got really hyper at about 9pm and i called B and what i didn't know was D and J was at B's house for the night 2. and i said some really embarrassing things such as i really like D and i thought he had the cutest laugh/smile and some other really embarrassing things then B said D liked me and if D would ever ask me out, would i say yes and i said yes so B invited me to the movies with D and J and F on Sunday so i said yes straight away and wen i saw my mum i asked her if i could go and she said she would think bout it and the next morning she said no because she hasn't ever met the guys and would like them 2 come over before i go places with them :( so i texted B saying i couldn't come because i was going to the city with my family because i was 2 embarrassed to say mum didn't let me because she didn't know them.
The next day at school,we were doing maths and J said D was sad i bailed, and it was sorta awkward between me and D but the next day it was fine between us and i told N this and she likes him 2 and way before i ever told he i liked D she waz like if one of her friends would ever like D they would be stealign him and the day i told her about everything she was sorta sad.
So i am inviting all the guys 2 my place so we can hang with my mum letting me.
I asked if who D liked and he said me and i really wanna go out with D but i dont want to hurt N.
they are both my good friends.
PLZ HEPL!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. please dont say stuff like chicks before dicks because D is important to me in a friendship way 2 and we are both really close friends so it wouldn't be stuff like chicks before dicks because D is my really close friend as well as N.
It really comes down to whose relationship is more important to you. If you turned down the guy because of your best friend, you friend will be happy and both you and the guy will be miserable. If you accept to date this guy, you will be happy and so will he. The only one who will be unhappy will be your best friend. If she is truly your best friend, she will support your relationship whether she likes the guy or not. You, however, have to make it clear that you are what he truly wants. And maybe you could find her someone else so you guys can do a double dating thing. I think she is mostly afraid that if you guys start dating, she will be the third wheel and not really have anyone. If you find someone for her to date also, she might get over the idea a lot more quickly.
long story short, my boyfriend messed up with me , and we broke up, he came back and wanted a second try and worked hard for it, and i told him i need some time to trust him and all that stuff, so im starting to give into him and everything and then he starts talking about how he wants to be with me but he wants to give it time cause hes going to college and all his friends are failing and hes so scared that he isnt as smart as the and he doesnt wanna go down the same road and a relationship is too much for him to handle and that he feels like hes not gonna show me much attention but we can still love eachother and be eachothers, but not in a relationsip but he thinks its a major responsibility cause he has to take care of me and all that, i dont know you guys.. whats going on? hes always online for me, talking to me all the time, telling me how much he loves me, im being so honest, hes not that kind of player guy, that plays around and does all that bullcrap, hes a man, and im not saying that because im inlove with him im saying this cause i know him, but is it UNDERSTANDABLE, that he said that ? or what do i do please help. thank you.
Sounds like he wants to keep a hold you while hes going through this confusing time. He doesn't seem to know what he wants and he trying to figure that out. I will admit that having a relationship while preparing or attending college is a lot of work. Especially if you are in a new place and don't really know alot of people. He wants to be able to have someone he trusts completely to talk to. I can understand why he needs time to adjust then take on a relationship. I can the sense that he isn't playing you, but he just needs some time to juggle everything that is being thrown his way. I would stick with him, stand by side, and just wait patiently for him. If he were just about messing with your head, he wouldn't go to such lengths to talk to you. He would get what he needed and stop talking to you. The fact that he keeps engaging in conversations is definitely a plus in your favor. He relies and trusts you with everything.
i just met Nico this summer at a theater academy and from the first time i saw him, i thought he was cute :) then when we actually started talking and getting to know each other more, we became like, best friends. Even though thats true, i also noticed from the beginning that he could be gay. Two weeks after meeting him, he tells me and a few other friends about his coming out story, and i was fine with it, i didnt intend to actually like him more than a friend. it wasnt til after he told me about a girl that recently really liked him, and pretty much asked him to "switch sides" for her, that i found myself liking him as well. I mean, how cant i when we're always holding hands, touching each other, and talking about flirty, sexual things with each other lol. and whats worse, i find him being gay, kind of a turn on x) when we both talk about a hot guy at camp, i image him being with him, and how cute that could be xD but i still cant shake the feeling of liking him more than a friend. what should i dooo?
For some individuals, it is quite permanent to be gay and there isn't really anything you can do to change that. In some cases, it is possible that he may be able to love both a person from the same sex and also someone from the opposite sex, and doesn't really even know it. There are very rare cases where being gay is just a phase that eventually just dies out. They realize that it was just something they want to experience and not something they wanted forever. They virtually tried it just to try it. I don't know how bold of a person you are, but there is a test to see. I did this on a friend of mine a couple of years ago. I spontaneously kissed him out of the blue, and he kissed back. He was surprised to find that he was indeed attracted to me and didn't even realize it. If you are not quite that bold of a person, then I would advise just waiting it out. It may reveal itself sooner than you think.
I met a guy back in October.. told him that I wasn't ready for a relationship. Then somehow by staying friends and hanging out.. we are now a couple. He tells me that his life would be bleak and crushed if I weren't in it. I don't feel the same. HE is 29 and I'm 32 years old.
The BIGGEST issue(among others)is I have no physical attraction to him, just void for me. Now when I do see him.. I am constantly getting sick to my stomach because I just can't handle being around him anymore.
To make matters worse.. he's a truck driver at the place I work.. so I'll see him at least twice a week no matter what.
What do I say to break it off without actually haven't to say that "I'm not attacted to you" or that the physical attraction is missing?? I know he's going to ask why.. plus how do I break up with him and still remain decent considering I will have to see him in my work week?
Thank you for your help from the bottom of my heart. -Christie
You should just tell him that you feel you guys are best as friends. That your relationship is precious for you to ruin your friendship over. You view him as just a friend, and thats what you need to say. Your not breaking his heart, you are just being honest. This way its not him at all, its just the way it is and there is nothing wrong with him. Or if you absolutely have to, you can say that you have feelings for one of your ex's and it is really making it difficult to fully open up. You can't succeed in a new relationship until the ties are broken from the old ones. Whether it is true or not, it is something you can consider saying to spare his feelings.
my boyfriend and I are in a relationship for 1yr.& 5 mos..were ok..i know that he loves me but sometimes i felt so unsecured coz he has no plans for us, He always said that we dont know what the future will bring us,i dont even know his parents or his friends or his home..im 27 & his 26..sometimes i want to breakup with him but i just cant coz i love him so much & i know that he loves me too..what can i do?
It either sounds like is afraid of the future and doesn't want anything to change or he doesn't know what the next step is. Have you brought up the idea of taking the next step like maybe marriage or at least just a proposal? Maybe showing little hints and sending him in the right direction might make him act. Or at least consider it. It sounds like he has had a rough past and he is afraid that if he makes plans, something will happen to break them up. Sounds like he is living in the moment instead of looking to the future. Relationships are all about honesty so you should just talk to him about. Tell him you don't know if you can keep pursuing not knowing what their future entails. Send me an inbox if you have anymore questions.
16/f
alright this guy asked me on a date and originally i said yes. because i really liked this guy, but then i reconsidered it because i had just broken up with someone. i told the guy i couldnt go. He's basically me just the guy version and i have liked him on and off. The only problem is i think he has social issues, for example he cant look you straight in the eyes and talk and he has a stutter.. maybe hes just nervous but sometimes it can be really awkward around him. Im not totally sure if i like him again, but hes always on my mind! but everytime i think of something good about him, i think about something that could go wrong. what happens if we go out and got nothing to talk about! or if i change my mind and i dont like him!i dont want people thinking im a slut. Hes invited me to his party next week.. what do i do????
Being indecisive is definitely a hard thing to shake. It seems like you really like him as a friend or even a best friend which explains why you think about him a lot. I would just tell to meet you there. This way your considering his feelings and saying you will hang out with him, but you also have a back up plan of playing the field if things don't work out. Maybe being around a group of people will make him more comfortable. If you don't try, you constantly say "what if" and trust me, you will go bananas thinking about it. Make an effort and see what happens. As for things to talk about, talk about a particular song you guys are listening too or even talk about people you have in common with. If you have any more questions you can email me at lleggett@bethanywv.edu
i cant say i have fully "lost my first love" but im experiencing my first love right now.
me and him have broken up 4 times.... except we always seemed to come back to each other cause we cant fall out of love. im currently in a relationship with him. and i will do anything for him. i understand though because i am COMPLETELY and utterly scared of loosing him. i feel like if i do i will feel alone and die. thats how much i care and love him. i feel like there is no one else out there for me.
Also he was my first. first boyfriend. first kiss. first anything sexual. and we both lost our virginity to each other. (during the time i have kissed other people during the month period that we broke up one time) but it was just NOT THE SAME..... never felt right. actually made me feel gross. and just made me want HIM more. same happend with him... and then we ended up back together. BUT he is moving :( i can drive in 2months or so..... but im scared until then we will grow apart or something will happen and im just really scared of loosing him. he is my first love and i am experiencing it. and it takes over your life completely. HE controls my emotions. if me and him are good. im in a good mood. if me and him are fighting i feel dead and become anti social. i havent realized it was a mistake. i dont think it is since it is both our first love and first alot of things with each other. and i can just say i cant picture myself with anyone else.
the odds are we either stay on and off or together and end up marrying each other.
or something happens and we will loose each other ... but i am so afraid of that cause i cant picture my life without him or anyone else.
sometimes i wonder though by his words and actions if he loves me as much as i love him............... thats the only wondering i regret. (putting my hear out if he isnt loving me as much as i am)
actual i know for a fact that i show my love in a different way than he does and i am more emotional and like to talk and am very open with my feelings. yet when he hurts me i close up and makeit hard to let people in.
think im crazy or not but im feeling all this at age 16. im a 16 year old girl and please dont say im to young or dont know what love is cause i do..... i know this is love. but im just not sure wether or not i will be okay throughout this whole thing.
i reallly needed to vent and finally say this out loud.
i would really appreciate peoples opinion on what i just wrote.
I will say honestly that love has no age limit. Men are very different than women, especially in terms of showing emotion or feelings. I was fifteen when I fell in love for the first time. I find myself still thinking about that person even after all these years. I can understand you feelings, and drifting apart is a very painful process. But it sounds like he feels the same way as you. No matter where you guys are, those feelings will still be the same. If you believe, he will believe, and you will have nothing to worry about. It is true love is a battlefield, but it conquers over everything.
I am dating my besfriend, the love of my life and the man I will marry! Unfortunately he lives across the country and we only see each other a few times a year. I won't get to see him till next spring, and I am so upset. I feel so lonely here, I mean I Love my family and friends but it doesn't help. Even in a crowd I feel alone. I miss him, and I don't know what to do. HOW DO I COPE WITH THIS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A TRAIN WRECK!
I know it isn't quite the same, but have you ever thought about skyping each other? You wouldn't be able to physically hold each other, but you would be able to see each other on the screen and see them when they are talking. Long distance is very hard, but if he is someone you want to marry, have you ever considered moving to him or him moving to you? I know what it is like to feel so alone even with a room full of people. It's like no one else understands what you are going through or even feel the same pain as you. To keep the romance and love going, why not write a letter everyday kind of like "dear john" thing? Sometimes it helps to find a hobby you can release your frustrations into, such as writing poetry, playing an instrument, scrap-booking your memories, etc.