|
how do I break up with someone I'm not attracted to without saying that?
I met a guy back in October.. told him that I wasn't ready for a relationship. Then somehow by staying friends and hanging out.. we are now a couple. He tells me that his life would be bleak and crushed if I weren't in it. I don't feel the same. HE is 29 and I'm 32 years old.
The BIGGEST issue(among others)is I have no physical attraction to him, just void for me. Now when I do see him.. I am constantly getting sick to my stomach because I just can't handle being around him anymore.
To make matters worse.. he's a truck driver at the place I work.. so I'll see him at least twice a week no matter what.
What do I say to break it off without actually haven't to say that "I'm not attacted to you" or that the physical attraction is missing?? I know he's going to ask why.. plus how do I break up with him and still remain decent considering I will have to see him in my work week?
Thank you for your help from the bottom of my heart. -Christie
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Lie.
I've never met anyone, including myself, who can maturely handle a declaration like that from a stranger. It's anecdotal, but I've met alot of people.
He is not a stranger. You said "break it off" which means rather than having an unknown question answered you're contradicting a basic assumption he has about your relationship.
Come up with something. Pretend to be emotionally unstable, give him a three sentence explanation, say you think you might like girls more than guys and don't feel comfortable exploring it while you have a boyfriend, actually take this opportunity to explore your bisexual side if it's there, anything other than "I find you unattractive"
It's about the only truth I think is better left unsaid. Anything, including dead silence, is better.
]
Just tell him that you've lost interest in having a relationship right now, which is vague and truthful. You don't have to personalize it and blame it on him.
Look kiddo, it is your life, You have to decide what would make you personally happy because you only get one shot at it. Don't let anyone else interfere with that. They can't be you and know what makes you happy. So take control and do what you have to do and don't feel guilty about it.
]
You should just tell him that you feel you guys are best as friends. That your relationship is precious for you to ruin your friendship over. You view him as just a friend, and thats what you need to say. Your not breaking his heart, you are just being honest. This way its not him at all, its just the way it is and there is nothing wrong with him. Or if you absolutely have to, you can say that you have feelings for one of your ex's and it is really making it difficult to fully open up. You can't succeed in a new relationship until the ties are broken from the old ones. Whether it is true or not, it is something you can consider saying to spare his feelings.
]
Hmmm. Maybe you could just tell him? I'm sorry if you think this is bad advice considering it's what you didn't want to do. I know you said you didn't want to just flat out tell him. But maybe being honest about it would be the best way to go. I mean, you'd feel bad about it, yes. But I personally think that if you just told him the real reason you'd feel a lot better than lying about it or not telling him. He'd be hurt, yes. There's no denying that. But if you don't tell him why, he'd probably wonder about it and wonder why you broke up with him. Wouldn't it be better if he just knew? Again I'm terribly sorry if you don't like this advice. You can rate it a "1" if you want to. I think that'd best though. Just tell him, get it off your chest.
Also tell him that you're sorry and that you guys could still be friends, IF he wanted to. It will be incredibley awkward, but I can't think of any other solutions to that. I'm sorry. But I hope I helped? Just a little?
]
More Questions: |