|
I can't stop thinks about him
I have a boyfriend now but before I had him I talked to another guy. I liked that guy a lot but I let him down, lied to him, and said no to going out with him. Now he has a girlfriend. I really like him still and can't get him off of my mind. I'm hurt with thinking about how things with me and him ended. I can't stop blaming myself because it was my fault! He won't talk to me anymore and I just can't go on living like this with so much regret. I miss him and want him back. What should I do? Sorry this is so confusing I don't know how to put it into words...
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hi there. By not finding the words you've said everything. Reason and logic and good advice all seem to point one way...forget it. But sometimes all the reason and common sense in the world just isn't enough, eh? Was there maybe some connection, some affinity with this previous guy that you now realise is lacking with your current boyfriend? I assume he'd be far from your thoughts if not? You turned him down...we guys can get over that easily. Let him down, hurt him...maybe more difficult. Trust can be rebuilt, slowly and steadily, piece by piece if you both want to. You'll need to work hard, he'll need to work hard. And he's got a girlfriend. I'd say this all hinges on that connection, that feeling that drew you closer to him. If it was only on your side, then there's little chance of any reconcilliation. But such feelings don't easily exist in one party alone. If his current relationship doesn't match what he believed he'd found in you then there is indeed hope. What if he felt the same, misses and wants that connection as much as you do? Wouldn't that be worth fighting for? There's a self-control evident in your writing, such that I cannot easily dismiss this as 'wanting what you can't have.' Am I close to the truth? If I'm right then you must approach him, for your own peace of mind and maybe your own happiness. I'd suggest you make your feelings clear, and be content to leave the answer open a while. Don't press for an instant response, let him think it all over. In short, if he comes to you, he's yours...if he doesn't, then he never was. Without being dramatic (I hope!) a situation like this has, I think the power to hurt us as much as life CAN hurt us. Be strong. be patient. It might just be worth whatever it takes, and regret is hard to live with. It can spoil future happiness. My very best wishes whatever you decide, truly. CJB
]
It seems like the kinda thing "You don't know what you have till it's gone."
You need to let this guy go. He doesn't want to talk to you anymore and he has moved on.
I don't know how you feel about your boyfriend. But you could end up doing the same thing to him if you decide to go after this guy.
So either stick with your boyfriend and move on or break up with your boyfriend and move on.
Either way, this other guy can't be in your life and you know that.
]
Most likely you only want him because he has moved on and is not interested in you. It's time you accept the fact that it is over. Your feelings, time and emotions you are putting into this failed relationship is exactly what you are doing to your current boyfriend. Once again you are disrespecting another guy. You are so worried about someone who doesn't care about you that you are mistreating the guy who you are involved with. In a few months you'll be crying over how you treated your current boyfriend. This seems like a cycle for you. You want what you dont have and take for granted what you do have. If you continue you on this path you'll never be happy and you'll just walk over everyone who cares about you. Try thinking about others and worrying less about yourself.
]
It is often hard to deal with regret especially when it comes to something we didn't realize we wanted. When my husband and I were dating the first time, I broke it off. I feel regret and had to watch him date other people. Him and I didn't speak for an entire year until we became friends again. Then we fell in love all over again and the second time was the charm. My point is, even if he isn't talking to you right now, there is still hope. Try sending him an email or text laying out your regrets, your hopes of being together, and what you want. Some things take time to resolve, but if you don't try, you are only causing even more grief for yourself.
]
More Questions: |