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Mr Friend or boyfriend?
16/f
alright this guy asked me on a date and originally i said yes. because i really liked this guy, but then i reconsidered it because i had just broken up with someone. i told the guy i couldnt go. He's basically me just the guy version and i have liked him on and off. The only problem is i think he has social issues, for example he cant look you straight in the eyes and talk and he has a stutter.. maybe hes just nervous but sometimes it can be really awkward around him. Im not totally sure if i like him again, but hes always on my mind! but everytime i think of something good about him, i think about something that could go wrong. what happens if we go out and got nothing to talk about! or if i change my mind and i dont like him!i dont want people thinking im a slut. Hes invited me to his party next week.. what do i do????
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You know those corny cliches "Don't judge a book by its cover" and "Treat people how you want to be treated"... well apply that to your situation. You probably don't know this guy very well. I mean, you know some details.. but you don't know the true him unless you give him a chance.
I say go to the party, have fun, and get to know him. You don't have to be in a relationship right away... Just tell him you'd like to get to know him some more before you move too fast. Hang out and go on a few dates. Talk to him and find out the true him.
Also, just because he has social problems does not mean he is a retard or incapable of dating someone. That is a very judgmental thing to say... I know PLENTY of people who have a social or psychological disorder,and they are one of the nicest and best people i've ever met. They made me realize what life is about and they have made a huge impact on my life. Don't judge him just because he has a little social problem. That is not right. What if he did the same to you? What if he thinks- Oh she has a problem speaking in front of a large crowd.. i dont know if I like her anymore. You wouldn't feel too great if he judged you like that.. would you? So dont do that to him.
1 more thing. Don't lead him on. I've made so many mistakes of leading guys on and it never turns out good. If you're unsure if you like him or not, then stay friends with him until you know you like him. Once you realize that you want to be with him, THEN go out with him. but just don't lead him on. You wouldn't like it if a guy leaded you on, so don't do that to others.
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Being indecisive is definitely a hard thing to shake. It seems like you really like him as a friend or even a best friend which explains why you think about him a lot. I would just tell to meet you there. This way your considering his feelings and saying you will hang out with him, but you also have a back up plan of playing the field if things don't work out. Maybe being around a group of people will make him more comfortable. If you don't try, you constantly say "what if" and trust me, you will go bananas thinking about it. Make an effort and see what happens. As for things to talk about, talk about a particular song you guys are listening too or even talk about people you have in common with. If you have any more questions you can email me at lleggett@bethanywv.edu
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