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My mom is going to get an abortion.
Well, I'm 14 and I'm not really sure how to go about this so please bear with me. My mom is thinking about getting an abortion. For awhile she was really sick so we went to the hospital and found out that she's pregnant with twin. I was SHOCKED but happy nonetheless. I already love those two as much as I love my little brother (he's one). I honestly thought my mom was happy too but I guess not because she dropped the bomb today that she was thinking about abortion. Now, my mom has A LOT of medical issues going on, most of which I don't even really know. However I do know that she has fibromyalgia (a type of arthiritis) and she had to have surgery on her stomach more than once :\ Both of her pregnancies (mine and my brother's) were high risk, but we came out pretty healthy (despite our asthma). She's no longer with the man that gave birth to my brother. But she's got me, and the rest of our family for emotional support. So, I guess what I'm trying to ask is: how can I get her to say no to abortion? Thanks :)
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You mom is probably scared for her health and fiancially. you are 14 so I think you are old enough to talk to your mother about this. Sit down and say mom how come you are thinking about abortion tell her your 14 you can talk to me about this im not a little kid anymore. and it its health and stuff she wants to be there to take care of you and her brother she doesnt want to risk her health and yours. good luck and keep us updated.
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This is your mother's choice.
You really aren't capable of understanding the decision right now, the issues at hand, but the closest I can get to helping you get it is this.
Imagine if she dies in childbirth (and with a high risk pregnancy, possibly losing the twins in the process anyway) and suddenly it's just you and your brother?
She doesn't have a stable father figure. She has a 1 year old in the house. Even with family support, a single mom with two newborns and a 2 year old is a burden few people are functionally capable of bearing.
Your job is to be strong for your mother. You're old enough to get that she needs your help already, and to get that as a woman with two children this decision is immeasurably painful for her to face.
Support her _whatever_ her decision. She needs that of you, and she deserves it. Whatever her opinions and whatever yours of abortion, this is something that she is going to feel absolutely horrible about even if she chooses to have the kids. You need to be understanding, you need to try to think about this pretending you are a mother who is uncertain about her own health who is trying to do everything she can to take care of the two kids she already has and to make sure she's alive to see them grow into adults and keep loving them.
You're obviously a loving person. It takes a loving mother, especially single mother, to turn out a kid who reacts to situations like this with the openness you already have shown.
Show a little more of that openness now. She needs her daughter to believe in her, to trust her judgment, and to tell her that no matter what happens, you understand and you love her.
Even if it's not true now. Trust me, someday you will. Someday, if you keep a close relationship with her, she might share with you some of the pain she's feeling. I promise you, you aren't the only one who loves those two, and she's probably feeling quite alone and like she carries the world on her shoulders.
The only thing you need to do right now is make damn sure she knows she isn't alone.
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Listen, this is none of your business. You have no idea how much it costs to raise a kid and oh my God, a mother with fibromyalgia adding two more to the household? That is asking a hell of a lot of her. Moreover, the physical toll it will take on your mom, nevermind what condition the twins might be born in, will be immense.
Love your mother first and be supportive of whatever she decides. This is an agonizing decision for her. Don't add to the agony by guilt tripping her over this. Sometimes people gotta do what they gotta do. When you grow up you will understand this better.
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You should consider for a moment that there may be more risk to your mom than she's letting on. She has medical issues that you know of, but she might not have told you about all of them. She's had two high-risk pregnancies already, which means that this one will be as well - and it's actually much higher risk, because twins indicates a high-risk pregnancy in and of itself. For your mom, the risks would be multiplied.
It's great that you're there to lend emotional support, but that won't help very much if she's putting her life in jeopardy by trying to bring these babies to term. If you really are willing to offer such support, it should be unconditional. Consider for a moment that an abortion might not be what she WANTS to do - it might be what she HAS to do in order to ensure that the two children she already has will continue to have a mother.
By all means, give her emotional support. Tell her that you'll be there for her no matter what she must do. Do not ask for explanations or try to guilt her into seeing the pregnancy through. For all you know, her doctor may have told her that she would have only a one in four chance of surviving it - would you still want her to say "no" to an abortion if you knew that?
A mother's responsibility must be first to the children to whom she has already given birth. That sometimes means she must make some very, very difficult choices. Whatever you do, don't make this one even more difficult for her.
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I think its really important for your mom to know how you feel about this. You must understand that you can't make her do anything, she'll have to make the decision herself. But you can tell her how you feel and that her decision will affect you and your brother also. She'll be dealing with a lot of emotional issues from an abortion and that won't be good for your family either. Write her a letter if you feel it will help you express your feelings easier. But just be honest. You seem like an excellent child and sibling and your mom is lucky to have you, and she'll be just as blessed (even though it will be hard) with her new children as well. good luck.
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Ok in all honesty, abortion sounds like the best option. You may love the idea of having two new siblings but would you prefer it at the cost of your mother's life? You and your brother were very lucky to be born healthy if she has so many problems, also constant surgery on her stomach area lowers the chance of an infants survival too.
In general, twins are more difficult than single children to give birth to, so you have all ready doubled the risk that was faced with you and your brother and lowered the chance that both would survive.
It's great to see you would offer her the support she needs but emotional support is only half the game, these children could be born with deficiencies etc and your mother could end up feeling terrible and blaming herself for allowing it to happen.
It's possible that she would survive with two healthy children but she should really make an appointment with her doctor to fully see the risks, after all you could loose your mother and both the children if it is too risky and I'm sure that is NOT what you want.
I would recommend you ask to go with her to an appointment so you can voice your opinion and then both you and your mother will be able to choose the best option, but remember also, children cost money and if she is single 4 children can be almost impossible to keep up with the bills so she may be thinking logically and holding her two all ready born children in priority, for example, the two babies would need more food, if she spends all her money feeding them then you and your brother suffer a lack of nutrition and she would probably starve herself to make sure you are all fed. Unfortunately that's the world we live in now :/
So talk to your mum about WHY she wants the abortion, if it's purely medical reasons ask her to at least see a doctor to see what options are available, if it's cost and other means just remember she has lived a longer life than you and understands the troubles of life much better than you could at your young age, try to not judge her harshly :)
best of luck x
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Tell your mom that you would really like her to have the babies and that you will give her all the help that you can. Tell her she will never know what she can get from the twins when they get older one or both might become famous and turn out really good. Just try to convince your mom with good things and if it doesn't work if your mom has a soft side you should cry alot to tell her you really want them but if she can't keep them because of her health and financial support tell her to consider adoption instead of abortion and ask her to see if someone you all know can adopt them.
Hope everything works well. Goodluck sweetie.!
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