Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 822
Last Update: June 30, 2016
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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OK sooo I just moved to a new city and it is quite far for my last home. The friends that I had at my old home cannot come to visit me and I would like to make new ones too. I have only been talking to my family for a while and it is the middle of summer no school to make new friends. Also my family is on a low budget at the moment so nothing that costs money. how to make friends and I live on a old people coldisack. (link)
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Maybe start going on walks everyday. do you have a pet you can walk?? take your dog to a near by park everyday and make friends with other dog owners??
maybe volunteer somewhere? you can make friends with anyone thats also somewhere else for the same reason. You just have to figure out where those places ARE get it? its really not that hard.
pick up some hobbies and then check online where they have meet ups for those hobbies at public places! Try do it yourself projects, crafts, making stuff. Go for walks in your new city so you can get the lay out of the land a little more!
OR DRIVE. whatever works for you.
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I am a student of a renowned university. my first year to be precise.. after a short period, I met a guy in his 3rd year.. to cut the long story short, we started dating..
Later I noticed that he comes to my hostel only on Friday nights, or Saturday.. Anytime we see each other in public, he does like he doesn't know me.. I don't know wat to do because I feel like he is just using me. anytime he comes to my hostel, late at night, he wakes me up while kissing me allover, we make our till dawn at times.. i
he has never acknowledged me as his girlfriend. we do talk at times, but lately it has been about us making out and I don't like it... what can I do to stop all this.. because I don't want my emotions to be toyed with
(link)
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Let me mirror what the others have said here. It sounds like youve gotten yourself into what i like to call "a grey area" Where nothing is clear and there hasnt been any communication on what you two ARE exactly and that needs to change NOW.
Tell him that you will not be together and this will end immediately if he is not willing to talk to you about things and make his intentions known so that you know where you stand with him. Theres absolutely no reason why there should be such a lack of knowledge about what you two ARE and where you stand. To me it sounds like he IS just using you and may just be looking for a good time and he knows he can get of it from you because youll let him in.
Time to put your foot down lady
good luck ; )
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there is this guy im somewhat close to at work...but he isn't a co-worker but we talk all the time....I guess u can say we are just building friends.....well I was eating my lunch (tacos to be exact) and he came in the breakroom teasing me as usual and he says you always eatin I said yup, he was like I see you got tacos, I said "yeah, I deserve this" and he said with seriousness in his tone/face "I think you deserve a little bit more than a taco dinner" and he repeated himself again, smiled at me and walked away...... I didn't say anything, i just kept eating.....can anyone decipher this? Thanks (link)
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Yeah im gonna agree with dangernerd here. He said it a certain way because he was looking for you to say "well what are you gonna take me out and buy me something better?" or something that effect and when you didnt say it, he took it as a rejection on your part.
The only way i can think of salvaging this is by making a joke of it with him the next time you buy tacos and then when he walks into the break room or where ever you are, laugh and say "hey look i bought tacos again!!!" keep it light and then say the thing about him thinking you deserve better.
Then if it ever comes up later, just say when he said it that you didnt immediately pick up on what he was really getting at. ; )
Ask him to come sit down and eat with you so that he knows you still like him on some level and see if he'll do it. Openly inviting him and saying something fun like "hey you gonna come sit with me and eat or what??" with a big smile will make him feel welcome.
good luck!
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I want to find a boyfriend and be in love. Or at least have some kind of trust/commitment with someone. Every guy I ever go out with only wants to fuck me. I am a virgin. No guy ever lasts more than one or two dates because they just want to fuck me and when they realize it's not going to happen they magically lose interest. I've been on dates/hung out with dozens of guys and this is always the situation. I am not sluttty. I am actually quite modest. I'm introverted and awkward and weird. I can't for the life of me understand why I never attract someone who wants something more than sex. Maybe I should just have sex with all of them and allow my life to be a series of one night stands. Maybe that is my destiny? (link)
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I love your sense of humor (if im reading that right) its very funny and means you are intelligent and know whats going on. ; )
Sometimes people dont realize the vibes they give off to others, think they are one way and others seeing something else. How you present yourself to the world and the people you associate with COULD play a vital part in this problem. If your meeting guys through parties or friends hooking you up then there in lies your issue. Stop letting them do that if you know they hang around shady people. I know its tempting and easy but it may not be the best way to go.
I only say that because you didnt mention HOW you met all these guys so i figured it needed to be said.
ANYWAY, It doesnt matter how much of an introvert you are, if you have an inviting presents but let it be known that you will have NO games played around you then theres more of a chance you will attract the right guys and the bad ones will be put off by it because they will think "uh oh this girl can totally see right through me" see?
Having guy friends, that you can talk to and make jokes with a great start so if you work and know some and you think about them as FRIENDS and not just someone that might be into you, then you might actually consider stepping out of your comfort zone as well when it comes to what type of guy your attracted to (because you didnt mention that either here) so im kind of just trying to wing it based on what your saying.
Nice guys can also know OTHER nice guys and if you hang out with him you might just find one you like.
What the world see's is what you want them to see, its what you present to the world when you walk out your front door, its the energy you give off, the looks you give strangers weather you look up and acknowledge people or smile at a passing stranger.....these all come into play when it comes to making more friends and eventually relationships.
Consider that the version of yourself that you may be putting out there may not be the version that would attract the type of guys you want. Thats why the shallow ones only try to sleep with you and then if they cant lose interest. If your a modest person, then put what you think is a modest but nice version of yourself out there.
good luck and you can pm me if you need more help ; ) good luck.
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there is this guy lets call him Rudy well when I was in English class ( well I sit next to him) our teacher gave us a mini quiz and so while doing it he hit me with a rubber band but on my thigh and every time he playfully teases me and he kicks me and I do too but he is always making me laugh and always saying nasty things and I think he likes me cause he always looks at me and smiles at me he teases me a lot he touches me playfully a lot and he always listens to me I need help do u think he likes me ...................................................................................... please answer no sooner than later I need help now does he like me or not (link)
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YUP, i'd say he likes you! go for it!
good luck ; )
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People really love to gossip about me and I keep hearing that they don't like me.
The thing is that I've never been mean to anyone, I am not cocky, I always try to be as polite as possible etc.
Most of these people have never talked to me outside school, they don't even talk to me IN school. Yet they pretend like they know I am a horrible person without knowing me at all.
This makes me really sad and I doubt myself as a person. It also leads to me not liking myself very much. Furthermore, it just makes me feel very angry.
I have one more year left, how can I deal with this and not care about what they think of me? How can I like myself as a person?
The reason this bothers me so much is because they have never taken the time to actually have a conversation with me, yet they decide to dislike me for no reason at all. (link)
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Ok i know this one WELL, so i can understand.
Like the other person said there IS always going to be people that wont like you no matter how hard you try. BUT (and this is a major one so pay attention) you CAN cut down the number of people who say things about you by trying a couple of simple things.....
What you can do (and this is what i have used for years) is to do something called "killing people with kindness" Now if your willing to put in the effort, you can do this.
I was actually quite popular in high school i talked to everybody but there was still people who didnt like me because of it. The battle they suffered was not with me it was with themselves.
You need to be able to be a little outspoken in order to do what im about to suggest so be prepared.
When theres people talking about you and you know who they are, if you see an opportunity to go up to them and do something nice or say something nice DO IT. Weather its infront of their friends or weather its by themselves and your the only one to witness it. Pretend like you dont know what they said about you and compliment them on their outfit or their hair or something like that. This will show that person that whatever it was they DID say, doesnt faze you and your going to continue being unaffected by them or their negative BS and be happy no matter what because whatever it was they said means nothing to you and you dont care.
Pretending to have never heard what they said (if it ws through a bunch of other people) is just hear say, unless they said it to your face. If they say something mean to your face then just laugh and be like "hahhaa OKAYY" and walk off and pretend like you dont care. MAKE them see that nothing they do or say (unless their willing to be nice) matters. see? and in reality it DOESNT anyway! see how great that is?
Just keep being nice to the friends you have, when THEY tell you things that "other people are saying" just say you dont care because their life doesnt matter to you anyway" and this will also let your real friends know that (if THEY were making this stuff up and telling you just to get you upset for any reason) that it still doesnt effect you.
See, ive had people tell ME before (who i thought were good friends of mine) that these OTHER PEOPLE were talking about me when they WERNT! just to keep me away from that person because they were jealous or controlling and didnt want to lose me as a friend because of their own insecurities. So if you just answer back "ehhh i dont care, i dont know them and if thats how they wanna be then thats fine, thats on them" then it shows that your so neutral about it all that your not even willing to say anything back about the person that your "friend" can accurately SAY that you said.
Sometimes people will lie to you and say "this girl said this and this about you" in an effort to get YOU to say something bad back about Females can be really back stabbing at times so you have to be careful not to fall into the social traps they can set up.
good luck, ; )
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I need help why is a boy shy to be around with a girl (link)
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i agree, also get him to laugh, make jokes with you and find things that are funny. Try to keep things positive and if he DOES open up and start saying things about his feelings that sound deep and/or meaningful, dont judge, and just say things like "i can understand your point of view on that sure...."
his friends may still tease him and it may even effect him to the point where he may distance himself for a while because hes not sure what to do, but just know that you were a huge help to him and that guys never forget the first females that walk into their lives and help them thru awkward years.
i talked to everyone as a kid and helped alot of guy friends through this phase and i still know them now and even after years of no contact and then finding them again, they all admit that they liken me the most and that i always helped them without judging.
; )
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im girl, 3rd year in high school and im shy...i have no close friend in my class... i finally feel i can have close friend in my class..im sitting with girl called Kaja...im sitting with her only because the classmate(girl) she was sitting last year, Dia went to study for 1 school year to Norway. they are really good friends. I really started to get comfortable with her, we laugh and etc. But I am worried that when Dia comes back Kaja will sit with her again :/..I finally figured out that i want to be friends with these two girls because i am really comfortable with..because its hard for me to get comfortable with someone bc im really shy. I am also snapchatting with Dia while she is in Norway.. Im want to text her on Facebook but i dont want her to think that im intruding between Kaja...but i really want to like friends with them....and also when im sitting with kaja at school i just want to take spontaneous selfie with her but i dont know ho she would react..and maybe post it on Facebook, or i would want to ask her if she would go to cinema, or just to hang out ...but im really scared and shy to ask her ...please help me :) (link)
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Yeah i see no reason why you this girl that SO FAR has seemed to really warm up to you would go and start saying no to stuff all the sudden!
Also, if you know that this girl is good friends with another girl, you should try to start talking about her before she even comes back so that when she DOES come back, they'll want to include you into the friendship circle!
You cant really do anything wrong if your "just trying to be nice" ; )
Add them BOTH on facebook if you want! if your a friend of a friend then there should be nothing wrong with that.
The best way to start a good friendship is to get people to laugh and joke with you on things! thats pretty simple, then play off it and keep the jokes going. Do it with everyone and soon youll discover you have yourself LOTS of friends.
(I was popular in high school ok, not to brag here) but that was my secret to making LOTS of friends. even with popular people! whenever you get a chance to catch them alone, ask if you can borrow a pen or something, then keep it and return it to them a day or two later while their infront of all their friends! act like you have a casual friendship with them when you do it, and smile and say hi at everyone around them, then say see ya later! and leave.
When it got to the point where i knew almost everyone in my high school and a few close friends would ask me "why" i was talking to this person or that person (because they didnt like them for some reason) i would just say, well i know alot of people and that doesnt mean their ALL my friends! and laugh it off. Whatever personal problem one of your friends has with someone else that you happen to talk to sometimes is between them and that person and has nothing to do with you and you should say that.
; )
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My friend has a crush on this boy and I tell her he is bad news but she doesn't listen to me and I tell her that one day she will find her match but clearly right now he isn't her match he found out when these dum boys told him and she got pissed and left crying later on her crush started dating this girl {whom is not in good condition blahhhh} and he is only dating her because he doesn't like my friend { I suppose } and then one day after he broke up with the girl and my friend was happy and wanted to ask him out but I told her not to and my other friend told us that he is dating another girl and my friend got mad and told her that she is going to tell her
do you think that my friend is a good match for him or tht he likes her and is trying tomake jealous please hurryyyyy helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp (link)
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I have to agree with the other poster here. YES she is your friend, you see what you think he is doing wrong and you want her to steer clear of it, and your a great friend for wanting those that for her. All you can really do is appeal to her logical side (if she has one at this point in her life) young people usually have no clue what their doing when it comes to dating and you can warning her, but like the other person said, you cant make her actually apply the advice. Shes young, running on her emotions, and when you put the two of those things together that can create an often unstable unsure person because they are living moment to moment by their emotions and not by logic.
I hope that your friend is smart enough to realize that.
Teens dont often KNOW what "love is" and often have to discover for themselves what its NOT, and its certainly not what this guy is doing, so obviously he doesnt care for her back in the same way so she should probably just leave now before she gets hurt. Either that or your going to just have to prey she has a thick enough skin to not let whatever hes doing get to her.
She might just be the kind of person that just jumps into things full speed ahead and invests herself emotionally. This will often lead to disappointment on her end because she put him up on a pedistole and worshipped him like a god when he cared for her little none.
the best way to not show that shes not jealous is to give no reaction what so ever. act like he doesnt exist, look away, walk away, and dont talk to him anymore. A lady knows when to make her exit and leave gracefully, and your friend should do the same.
As a teen one of my secrets to not only being popular, but having lots of guy friends was to just be nice!, let people know openly that you except them, find chances when people are near you that youve be told are popular to say hi, smile and crack a joke with them about something other then you or them so that they laugh too.
Get to KNOW lots of different types of guys, be FRIENDS with them first so you (or her) can guage what type of person they are and then think about weather you'd like them as just a friend or a possible future partner if they like you back. If they are chill, but arent your type then just keep them as friends, be there for them when they need someone to talk to and encourage them to reach for better things.
None of this stuff is that hard to do.
Let them know when they've crossed lines with you but explain it in a gentle way, and then continue to be nice and even ask them to go places with your and your friends (as a group of course and not alone) LATER! see? guys are simple and usually wont turn away at least just a friendship with a female they feel they can talk to about things and KNOW youll give them a realistic answer.
whatever you do in life, when communicating with others, LOGIC and kindness will usually get you further with everyone then overly emotional irrational approaches.
try to get your friend to see WHY things would be better if she did things your way, and let her know that you care for her no matter what but that there IS a big chance this guy could hurt her.....
good luck and hit me up if you need more advice ; )
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How do i survive from a situation where people around you believe a gossip about you and still continue to make up stories to make it worse? (link)
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Well first what you do is you cut those people out of your life as much as you can. People will SO easily believe the bad shit about someone they've heard through "the grapevine" then believe anything good about you. So if you cut people out that you know have been talking about you behind your back youll find out who your real and loyal friends are and keep THEM. you dont HAVE to keep all your schools friends through life and your life wont be any less exciting then if you did have them around still (that is unless you LIKE drama and scandal) the people who REALLY know you or who WANT to be real friends with you will continue to stick around despite any of the bullshit people might be talking because they know thats not you and that you couldnt have done any of the things their saying.
Stay true to YOU and dont feel the need to prove your innocence to anyone, just because people are making up things about you. usually people that start these kind of things are just jealous of you for one reason or the other.
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I am a 15yr old girl frm nigeria nd my bust is jxt 2 smal for my age nd this always mak me feel sad,al my friends hav bigger bust than i do nd most of them laugh at me,i hav also wore different typ of bra sizes buh ntin work out for me i hav also used breast cream to make it bigger buh itz stil jxt d same tin..though a frnd of mine gav me an advice..that i shld hav sex with my boyfrnd nd during that period i shld let him massage my bust wel that it wuld make it grow bigger nd i hav been duin this for a while nw buh ther is stil no difference,what do u think i cn do to make my bust bigger plz (link)
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I agree with Dragonfly here. There is nothing you can do to make your boobs bigger ok, secondly those girls that are teasing you or giving you problems are just jealous because they are being viewed as nothing but property or pieces of sexual meat and your not. This is your chance to make sure you get a guy that will love you for YOU and not your body.
you dont need to look like them. You can demand respect and your personality will shine through and any GOOD GUY will see that once he gets to know you.
Also having large breasts isnt always a good thing at a young age because they arent even pregnant yet and their boobs will get even bigger once they have kids and down the road will most likely suffer from back problems where as you will not. ; )
i was a late bloomer and was teased a little here and there but those girls that had bigger boobs were always complaining of back problems.
You can always buy a training bra and exercise type clothes and explain whenever someone mentions it that you wear sports bras because your "an active person" and that you "need to keep the girls in place while you jog or work out" and we all know that sports bras can make the boobs look even smaller but you can then explain that also and then just SAY your boobs are actually bigger, your just wearing a sports bra because their more comfortable.
Then tell those girls who tease you next time that "at least i wont be having back problems because my boobs arent all heavy"
this is true and is a fact of life, and theres women all over the world that HAVE to get breast reductions because their in such pain that their slouching over half the time and throw their back out easier just while doing basic things around the house!
so in the long run YOUR the lucky one my dear.
good luck and dont let them get to you! ; )
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Is it weird to hang out with my teacher outside of school? We're very close and go out to dinner and movies. The relationship is platonic, so is it at all illegal? I'm supposed to be my teacher's student next year, but don't know how I'm supposed to be professional when she's told me secrets about herself and the other teachers at my school. I find it irksome that she has singled me out and has decided to spend time with me and favor me over all other students in my class. Is she at fault here? (link)
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yeah just have your mom call the school and tell them SHE doesnt feel comfortable with the relationship and would like for you to be placed in a different class while your attending the school PERIOD. not just this semester but all.
make sure she mentions she nothing happens and she seems real nice but that your mom just "feels weird about it" and would like to make this a person request on your behalf.
they wont tell the teacher so you can still come up to her in school and say your sorry about your mom and remain civil. then out of school just play like your busy all the time and fade away. take up new hobbies so that your too busy for her anymore but that you really treasured the time you shared with her and really appreciated her sharing her time with you. ; )
(((this is what adults do when they want to split paths in a civil well mannered way without leaving feelings hurt even if the things they say arent necessarily totally true))) but of course it would be nice if they were so if you can try to be truthful, if not thats ok too.
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I'm twenty, female.
He's twenty two.
I liked this guy since high school, I always thought he was cute but we never talked so I always just kind of admired from afar. However, after he graduated high school, I forgot all about him. Until I got hired at the grocery store I work at now. He is my superior.
He actually is the one that trained me. Very few words were used in the training but he talked to me then. Told me his tricks to bagging things and that kind of thing.
It's been a couple of years since working there and he is now an even higher up position in a department that I do not belong in.
A few weeks ago, he was at the bar with my brother's girlfriend and she was drunk and told him how unbelievably cute I think he is to which he had replied to her "she's definitely cute" and my brother's girlfriend told him to talk to me then because I'm shy and he said he's so shy around me too.
So, a few weeks later, here we are and we still haven't spoken.
I'm getting sick of the silence but I just over think conversation with him too much. I can't just blabber a conversation with him now after two years of silence and after I found out that he thinks I'm cute.
So, I want to write him a note. We park next to each other in the parking lot. It's kind of cute, we usually start around the same time each morning and we would park right by each other but use the courtesy spot parking. He always gets his lunch before me and is usually back before mine even begins but I'll walk out when he comes back and I got to lunch, that he parked his car right next to mine instead of leaving the courtesy spot.
I have noticed changes in him, though. He does the parking next to me on his own and now he goes through my self checkout when I'm working it. He always used to avoid it when he saw me on it.
So, anyway, I just want the note to be short and say something along the lines of "heres my number, if you want it, that's cool and if you don't, that's cool too" with a smiley so I don't seem too intimidating, lol.
I guess my question is, is that weird? Will he be weirded out if I left a note on his car? Will he even use my number? A few of my friends told me if he's too nervous to talk to me, he may not even want to text me. So, I just want to know if it's wort it, I guess. I don't want him to be turned off by me and not think I'm cute anymore because I really want this to work out. Have him text me then maybe, gradually move to talking face to face.
Thanks for your help! (link)
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Why dont instead of you giving him your number, invite him to go out somewhere with you and a bunch of friends??
Get him used to going places with you even if its in a setting where theres other people?
That way when the times comes to go out just the two of you, it wont feel as weird.
birthday parties, or out to bars with friends, anything where you could invite him, there is a potential for the sparks to fly even MORE then they already do. Its clear that he likes you and you like him, your both just too shy to make the first move but if your used to each other and theres oppertunitys to grow closer then grab them!
try to be more positive around him, joke more, make him laugh with you if your not already and youll gain his friendship then a relationship can grow from that because theres no reason why not.
If you invite him to something with you and some friends youll have more of a reason to give him your number so that he "doesnt get lost" or if he says hes "not sure he can go" you can say "ok well let me give you my number and you can just text or call if you cant make it" see??
its perfect.
good luck ; )
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theres this guy, we met at a party but we connected and had a heart to heart we had been texting all week. he started calling me babe and complimenting me. telling me i was the only girl he talked to and that he wants to hang with me again. but when i asked him if were were "talking" he told me he doesnt do relationships. and his reasoning was. (he doesnt like being hurt and he doesnt like drama) should i even try to continue to flirt or should i just consider friends? i honestly started to like him. and ive been hurt so much i know his pain (link)
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Ok, im going to give this to you as if im MOST of the single guys ive ever known that say things like this to girls.
basically, im down to have sex with you but i dont wanna be with anyone right now because i wanna leave my options open.
i think you should either just consider him a friend or move on. USUALLY all the guys ive ever heard say this kinda stuff dont want a relationship/arent ready/or want to continue to be a bachlor and dont want to be tied down should someone "better" come along.
it sounds like based on what you said HE said, that hes leaning more towards the selfish side of things and would just be down to jump into bed with you which you dont need to deal with, when you could have better.
good luck
; )
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I am 22 year old guy finally deciding to take a swimming lesson. I went on Saturday and the class looks to have only women in it so I will be the only guy. They all look in their 30s and maybe some younger but still older than me. I called my mom and said I can't go and to cancel the lesson. She said she will if I really want to. Is this a valid concern or am I worried over nothing? (link)
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Sounds like someone is a little concerned that he may be caught doing something "girly" or female no??
not to pick on you at all here but usually these types of thoughts are based on the idea that the person thinks its not something thats "suitable" or appropriate to their gender. This could not be further from the truth. Takeing swimming lessons could save your life, and i think that covers all genders lol. so you needant be concerned with that. usually these classes arent that long and itll all be over with soon so after your done youll never have to tell anyone you dont want to know about it or if there was "a bunch of women" in the class cause they'll never know. ; )
this is about your safety not how many women are taking the class.
youll be fine.
; )
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I broke up with my boyfriend on friday because im dealing with stuff in my life soo on monday my ex looked happy and stuff and later on when i went home my friend grabbed my phone and texted him saying i want to get back together and tht i regret breaking up with him and i told him tht that was my friend who sended that soo the next day he looked sad and depressed and wasint talking to no one at all so then my friend gabby told me he looked like he was crying also whenever i passed by him he would stare or look at me soo later on we were in pe my friend told me to talk to him soo she called him up and thats when she both sat us down i told him tht i been dealing with stuff and tht the reason tht i told him was not tht reason and also i told him i dont want him worrying about me soo thats when he said areint boyfriends suppose to worry and also he was saying how he recieved a text and thts when i told him tht wasint me and tht when he said ok but even if it was u i would have said no and i moved on already And he said that i told him he wasint a good boyfriend and tht he also said why waste his
time agian for a second time and how in the first place i shouldint have done it but i was confused and now i want him back do i really move on? (link)
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Yup, i agree with dragonfly here, First off your in school still and a bulk of time thats not used for study is also testing the waters of what relationships are right now. Theres a huge chance that neither of you really know what you want and by "dating" your figuring out slowly what you DO want in a mate over time.
He may just be really upset and your friend noticed and is trying to help you guys work things out which is sweet of her but thats not always the best answer. Maybe though your boyfriend is OK with worrying about you. If he wants to do that then let him. Thats not really a reason to brake up with someone. Maybe just being able to be with you even if he does worry is enough for him. He sounds very kind in that case and like maybe it would be worth working through with him.
i dont think your friend should have messaged him though that was crossing a boundary because it fooled him into thinking things could be ok again.
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he is my college teacher, married and has a baby girl too. he used to say that i love you and all and i fell for him. he used to take me for drives and all. we have started being physical too. he has touched my boobs. gave me a vaginal massage from outside. i have not let him touch my vagina from inside. i know im very wrong. and i want to end all this. but he is my teacher and that scares me. he can use his powers against me. im realy confused. i want to end all this before it goes too far. please help (link)
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WOW, yeah this is tricky situation you have going on here. Well you could always say to him (if he tries to take you out again or meet after class when your both alone) that you cant help but feel bad for his wife EVEN if hes unhappy with her or she "treats him bad" that you feel really guilty and cant live with yourself if you continue this but that hes "not a bad person" and you wont go and try to do anything to ruin him, but that this just doesnt feel right to you in your heart.
Let him down easy basically and maybe just try to boost his ego by saying hes a good person and that this was all a mistake and that its not totally his fault, you played a part in it too and you feel bad enough about that.
It really isnt cool that hes cheating but for right now you need to try to tell him whatever it is you can to try to both keep him calm, and end things on an OK note.
This really IS a two way street though and you did continue to do this even though you knew he was taken i would assume, so what im telling you to tell him IS mostly true. Im just saying basically to leave out the whole part about his cheating and taking advantage of a student because thats not going to help YOU at this point.
Maybe you could offer to still be friends and keep in touch and if he wants to just talk ever that your here for him ((((just until your done with the class of course not for REAL)))) ; )
I see the situation your in and thats the best way I WOULD handle it. basically "dont piss him off"
good luck though and i hope things work themselves out.
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I'm obsessed with these two girls Jasmyn and Jasmine kinda hard to choose Jasmyn is kind, loving, good to talk to and loves me like a brother. Jasmine is wild, nice to talk to, I drool over her and she's no angel.im 13 and stuck.im also scared of being denied,because what if the word gets out the she denied me and I'm left in internal sorrow 💔 and won't take the chance to ask someone else. I need a girls advice to tell me what a girl wants and how to ask. Boys tell me how to man up. Plz and thnx!!! (link)
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Well if your very far away then whats the point in pursuing anything if youll most likely never meet them??
if there is and youve hung out before then maybe theres a chance, and usually girls that flirt and kick and hit DO LIKE YOU, they just dont know how to say it either. The only fool proof way i could think of would be to spend time with the person in person. That way you could work off of body language and not have to say anything until your both 100 percent sure things want to go to the next level.
There is no easy way to spill your guts to someone but if youve been together for a while and you both feel like you can talk to each other then it wont be THAT hard. you could try holding hands or hugging and see if it seems like she doesnt want to pull away. little things like that will tell you she likes you back.
you could try asking her how she feels about you first and maybe say "well it felt like there was some chemistry there so i just wanted to ask" most girls like that you want to dig deeper and find out how their feeling. ; )
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Last summer I told my crush that I liked him. He was like oh cool and he still talks to me back then and we chatted daily. Until the school started. We wouldn't talk in real life and its awkward, but we will still message each other after school. That made me really happy because he didnt ignored me after i confessed. So my friends also know i have a crush on him, and if my crush and i passed by tgt, my friends would make noise and he told me he doesnt like it. so one day he got really mad at me becuz my friends "teased us" but i got pissed and ignored him. soon i found he unfriended my through fb so i blocked him. i still think i like him but i dont want to what should i do? i cant even talk to him rn... (link)
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Ok, heres MY idea and i dont know if your brave enough but ill make the assumption you just might be.
What i would do (because i did this as a teen) is i would tell my friends that i DO like him and i dont care what anyone thinks and that if they are my friend they will stop acting all immature and "get a grip". ((let me just throw in here that i was a very strong willed, people person and wasnt afraid to stand up for myself when i was a teen))
I dont know your personality obviously but you "could" shame them into not making fun of you like THAT. Take the high road, and they might just respect you more if you stand up for yourself and put your real feelings out there. No one says you have to do this with everyone else, just your close friends that were doing this so that they can see that you will NOT be disrespected when it comes to your feelings and "how would you like if i did that to you over a guy?!" type of attitude towards it with them.
Theres probably guys they like too, theyve just been too shy to say anything to any of the other girls including you. Their still in "im gonna follow what everyone else is doing and saying" mode and not in the "im going to think and feel and act for myself" mode yet and you ARE because your more mature and theres nothing wrong with that.
Now, with the guy in question. All you can do now is try to be nice to him, do not put yourself in a position where your friends or his can continue to tease, and i would try to message him in whatever way you wanna do that privately and say, im sorry about my friends their just immature and jealous most likely and if you dont wanna talk anymore thats ok and i will respect that but i would still like to at least just be friends because i dont want this petty little thing to end such a good thing.
call it "a thing" too. dont put a label on it right now because he might not be totally sure of how he wants to view the relationship and you might scare him off.
If he decides to talk to you again (but privately) maybe let him know that you dont care what anyone thinks of you or him and he shouldnt either.
hope that can help, idont know, thats just how i would do it i cant say that this will work out for you or not but ive done it before in the past. Other teens usually will respect you more if you hold steadfast to your feelings about something and your verbal about not letting anyone change your mind because their still figuring out who THEY ARE as people and its easier to be a follower then a leader and youll look like a leader if you try this way.
good luck! ; )
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So, I'm in my third to last week of classes at university and for the last, maybe, two months a guy friend of mine had been asking to hang out. I commute, though and work a lot so whenever he asked me, I would always be busy. Last night, his friend was leaving his apartment and I was on campus from getting dinner with my girlfriends so I asked him if he wanted a ride back to his place since it was a long walk and it was pretty late and he said yeah. So I drove to my friend's apartment and went upstairs to get him. Our friend answered the door and he was shocked to see me there so he invited me in to which I was a) greeted by a bunch of his friends that were over and b) informed me that they all just got back from the bar a few minutes ago so he was pretty drunk. He kept telling me though that he wasn't that bad (believe me, I've known him for about two years so I believed him when he said that since I have, indeed, seen him black out drunk before). So I stayed for a little, we talked, listened to music, I haven't seen him at all that semester so it was nice to catch up. But it wasn't just he and I, since he had a lot of people over, he was working on trying to keep all of them happy and keep his apartment in one piece.
After his friends started to leave to either go back to their places or go back to the bar, he finally sat with me. Just us, people would come over and tell us bye, but he and I finally had a one on one conversation. Finally everyone left and it was just he and I in the entire apartment since his roommate was gone for the weekend. He leaned really close to my ear since music was playing and told me how happy he was that I was finally able to meet up with him after weeks of trying. He didn't even let me finish talking before he kissed me. I kissed back. It wasn't like he was trying to do anything else because after a few minutes of making out, he pulled away and said he just wanted to lay with me and cuddle so we did and continued to talk. A song I liked came on and I was singing to it and he asked if I was lying about that being my favorite song because that's one of his favorite songs too. Then a rap song came out that I knew so I rapped a part of it and he was shocked and told me how awesome I am that he didn't know I could rap (it's really only that song that I can, lol.)
After more of just talking and laying together on his bed, he kissed me again and then he pulled away and shyly smiled and buried his face in his pillow and he isn't a shy person at all so that was kind of out of the ordinary for him so I asked what that was about and he said nothing, don't worry about it, he didn't want to say. So I let it go. We talked more, I was laying on his arm while his other hand played with my hair and he was about to say something but stopped himself saying how he didn't want to say whatever it is again so I moved away from him and told him to say it. It took a couple minutes for me to finally win that one, but after him telling me he's fairly certain that I already know what he is going to say, he finally told me that he likes me. We laid there for a few more minutes and then he kissed me again and smirked and said again "I just really like you a lot."
There's a few things that make me feel like he was just being a silly drunk when he said that, because he normally doesn't get very feelings-y. His best friend that I was also supposed to take home that night (but decided to go to the bar, because he later told me that it was all a scheme for me to go to the apartment on purpose) told me that when he's drunk, he hits on everyone. He even told me when we were laying together that his body count is seventeen.
But there's a few things that make me kind of iffy about it, like when he told me his body count and I didn't say anything after, he got nervous and asked me if I looked at him differently and kept telling me he got checked three times and he's clean. It's also the fact that he told me it twice. If he was drunk and didn't mean it, or was kidding, why would he tell me twice?
I don't know. I don't think I'd do anything about it anyway, we have two weeks left in the semester and then he goes home and I go home and we live two hours away from each other.
So, my question is to obviously get your input on the subject that if he meant it or was just being drunk. And even if he was being drunk, do you think it holds true that drunk words equal sober thoughts in this situation? He wasn't drunk that he was stumbling over things but he was drunk enough that I could tell with the slur in his words and how he was acting but he was conversing well, wasn't losing train of thought or anything like that.
He is 21 and I'm 20. Thanks for any input! (link)
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so what your saying is that he was intoxicated enough to where you feel his true feelings were coming out in those moments right??
That is always a definite possibility here, when your drunk or loosened up enough to talk about matters of the heart, it tends to be true. It also depends on his personality though. Even though he said those things and they are true, is he willing to face those feelings sober to you?
I think that should be the big question here. Its your option to either ask him if all those things he said were true or not bring it up again and then see where things go after that. He might have been to tightly wound to really tell you sober so he chose now to do it.
its your choice where to take things from there. good luck.
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