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Do drunk words really mean sober thoughts?
So, I'm in my third to last week of classes at university and for the last, maybe, two months a guy friend of mine had been asking to hang out. I commute, though and work a lot so whenever he asked me, I would always be busy. Last night, his friend was leaving his apartment and I was on campus from getting dinner with my girlfriends so I asked him if he wanted a ride back to his place since it was a long walk and it was pretty late and he said yeah. So I drove to my friend's apartment and went upstairs to get him. Our friend answered the door and he was shocked to see me there so he invited me in to which I was a) greeted by a bunch of his friends that were over and b) informed me that they all just got back from the bar a few minutes ago so he was pretty drunk. He kept telling me though that he wasn't that bad (believe me, I've known him for about two years so I believed him when he said that since I have, indeed, seen him black out drunk before). So I stayed for a little, we talked, listened to music, I haven't seen him at all that semester so it was nice to catch up. But it wasn't just he and I, since he had a lot of people over, he was working on trying to keep all of them happy and keep his apartment in one piece.
After his friends started to leave to either go back to their places or go back to the bar, he finally sat with me. Just us, people would come over and tell us bye, but he and I finally had a one on one conversation. Finally everyone left and it was just he and I in the entire apartment since his roommate was gone for the weekend. He leaned really close to my ear since music was playing and told me how happy he was that I was finally able to meet up with him after weeks of trying. He didn't even let me finish talking before he kissed me. I kissed back. It wasn't like he was trying to do anything else because after a few minutes of making out, he pulled away and said he just wanted to lay with me and cuddle so we did and continued to talk. A song I liked came on and I was singing to it and he asked if I was lying about that being my favorite song because that's one of his favorite songs too. Then a rap song came out that I knew so I rapped a part of it and he was shocked and told me how awesome I am that he didn't know I could rap (it's really only that song that I can, lol.)
After more of just talking and laying together on his bed, he kissed me again and then he pulled away and shyly smiled and buried his face in his pillow and he isn't a shy person at all so that was kind of out of the ordinary for him so I asked what that was about and he said nothing, don't worry about it, he didn't want to say. So I let it go. We talked more, I was laying on his arm while his other hand played with my hair and he was about to say something but stopped himself saying how he didn't want to say whatever it is again so I moved away from him and told him to say it. It took a couple minutes for me to finally win that one, but after him telling me he's fairly certain that I already know what he is going to say, he finally told me that he likes me. We laid there for a few more minutes and then he kissed me again and smirked and said again "I just really like you a lot."
There's a few things that make me feel like he was just being a silly drunk when he said that, because he normally doesn't get very feelings-y. His best friend that I was also supposed to take home that night (but decided to go to the bar, because he later told me that it was all a scheme for me to go to the apartment on purpose) told me that when he's drunk, he hits on everyone. He even told me when we were laying together that his body count is seventeen.
But there's a few things that make me kind of iffy about it, like when he told me his body count and I didn't say anything after, he got nervous and asked me if I looked at him differently and kept telling me he got checked three times and he's clean. It's also the fact that he told me it twice. If he was drunk and didn't mean it, or was kidding, why would he tell me twice?
I don't know. I don't think I'd do anything about it anyway, we have two weeks left in the semester and then he goes home and I go home and we live two hours away from each other.
So, my question is to obviously get your input on the subject that if he meant it or was just being drunk. And even if he was being drunk, do you think it holds true that drunk words equal sober thoughts in this situation? He wasn't drunk that he was stumbling over things but he was drunk enough that I could tell with the slur in his words and how he was acting but he was conversing well, wasn't losing train of thought or anything like that.
He is 21 and I'm 20. Thanks for any input!
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There are two different kinds of drinkers. However the two kinds basically experience the same thing, a loss of inhibitions and propriety or what is proper. A little alcohol is enough to bring down your inhibitions, what might hold you back from saying whats on your heart and for others who hold a lot of anger hurt or pain in their heart, when those same walls come down that keep them holding onto and containing and not showing this anger, all of a sudden there are no barriers and the hate and anger comes out and you have a person who becomes mean. People who feel they must be very adult like and proper at all times will also tend to want to act very foolish and silly when having had too much alcohol. I can not know how much he drank and if it affected his ability to know what he was saying and doing so with purpose. But pick a day when he hadn't been drinking, bring up that night. Ask first if he remembers what he said to you. If he does, ask him to repeat what he said cus you want to be sure he knows what he said and really meant it. If he meant it, its no surprise. It is very pleasant to find a person that you're attracted to actually has a few things in common with you and is excited to learn if there are more by spending time with you.
I however don't understand what you mean by body count unless you mean the years of age to his body, meaning he's age 17. Then you say something about him statig he was checked 3 times and is clean. THat has nothing to do with checking a persons age, more likely we're talking checking for STDs. Unless a person can produce a piece of paper, their receipt from a visit to a clinic that does such tests, then its only his word for it. And why would he bring that up first thing if he's hoping to slowly seduce you into thinking about having sex with him. Does he really want a relationship and Sex, or is sex his only real goal and he's willing to take his time to get you there.
I may be so far off the mark and It was hard for me to follow some of what you said. Its obvious he has some feeling or attraction but what kind of feelings, for a true girlfriend or a friend with benefits, you can't know without having a good conversation with him.
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so what your saying is that he was intoxicated enough to where you feel his true feelings were coming out in those moments right??
That is always a definite possibility here, when your drunk or loosened up enough to talk about matters of the heart, it tends to be true. It also depends on his personality though. Even though he said those things and they are true, is he willing to face those feelings sober to you?
I think that should be the big question here. Its your option to either ask him if all those things he said were true or not bring it up again and then see where things go after that. He might have been to tightly wound to really tell you sober so he chose now to do it.
its your choice where to take things from there. good luck.
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