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:.Hey x3My name is Emily and blah blah blah.
:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.
:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.
:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.
:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.
:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.
If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM
If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.
:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).
advice
Okay so I've asked this question before but I didn't exactly word it right so I didn't really get good results, so here it is. I have a huge crush on this boy ( let's call him dave ) and he's told me he likes me, but made it clear that now is not a good time for a girlfriend, I don't really know how to explain our relationship, its pretty confusing but my friends call us "the couple that isn't dating" so that's kind of what's going on there... Anyways, one night dave and I were talking and we got onto the subject of this other boy at our school ( lets call him mark ). Now dave and mark aren't exactly friends but they are friendly, if that makes any sense. So I told dave that I didn't really like mark all that much, and dave seemed kind of surprised by this, and he asked why. Then I told dave how things went between mark and me. See, mark can be a jerk sometimes, I feel like he can be really nice and sweet but he hits on girls a ton and sometimes he takes it a little too far, which is what he did to me. At lunch he started grinding on me and pushed me against the locker, I didn't tolerate it. I tried to push him off, I couldn't, but he got the idea and stopped. I told him how out of line he was and we haven't had an incident like that since, but it still makes me mad and he continues to hit on me. When I told dave about this incident, I told him the story as an explanation for why I wasn't very fond of mark. But then dave said something that really pissed me off, dave said "mark is just tring to have some fun." now I know this is just a comment, and maybe im over sensitive but it really made me mad that dave saw the situation like that. What mark did was disrespectful and not only was dave seeing it as no big deal, but he was acting like it was okay that mark did this to me. Sorry, but I am not a toy, I get enough crap from mark and it upset me that dave would defend him like that. Dave has always been so respectful and sweet to me, so I couldn't understand how he saw the situation like that. After dave made that comment I was about to argue but dave said it was late and that he had to go. I've let too many days go by so I don't think I can really bring it up again but I don't know if this should concern me that dave said that or if you think I'm making a big deal out of it. That attitude didn't seem like the dave I know, and I don't want him to see me like that...
I honestly don't want to sound like a slut-b.tch over here. Just giving you my point of view on this.
I have a guy at my school that is a complete, 100% horndog. He will hit on any girl anytime, regardless of whether he has a girlfriend or not. Me, I'm a pretty chill person and I'll admit that I'm not a 100% prude, pure minded person. When he does stupid, slightly perverted things aimed at me, I just go along with it jokingly, and if he takes it too far, I just push him away and call him a manwhore. But after that, I don't take offense because I know he's just that kind of a person, he didn't mean anything honest "I want to get in your pants" thoughts and he didn't mean to deliberately invade my personal space just because he thought he had the right to. He's just fooling around being the immature boy he'll eventually (if ever) grow out of.
And, yes, there are some people that are very protective about getting respect from guys. There was nothing wrong with you defending for yourself and being offended by Mark's actions. There is nothing wrong with you not having the best of relationships with Mark because of that incident.
However, I believe that a person can believe whatever he or she wants to. Dave, I'm sure, is a very nice guy, but let's face it: he is a guy. Think about it from another point of view: you had a girl friend who is a wacky person and she does a wacky thing to your guy friend and he takes offense. It's human nature to side with your gender. You're going to think (Or at least I think) that the girl just did something wacky because she's a wack job.
Dave is entitled to his opinions and as a guy, it doesn't surprise me at all that he would side with Mark. It really doesn't matter if he's the son of some divine power: he's a guy. I have a guy friend that is way too prude for me to even understand. He is the 100% gentleman that is always responsible, nice, sharing, and kind to everyone all the time. And if I were to go about complaining about the first guy to this nice guy I know, he (honestly) would say: he's just being him and thinks it's funny.
Now, your Dave might have not meant it like "he's trying to have fun, he has the right." He might have meant, "That's what he does for fun, don't take it too seriously." I don't know what tone he said it in, but sometimes what one person says can be translated different, blurred by what you were thinking and have engraved in your head concerning Mark.
Sorry this is so long. In short: Mark is a guy, Dave is a guy, it's human nature to stick with same genders. Mark is just that type of a person so he did what he usually does. Nothing was wrong of you to take offense. At the same time, I don't believe Dave meant anything suggestive when he said, "Mark is just trying to have some fun." If you just take a breather and place this situation and you stand in an outside point view and think through it carefully, I'm sure that somewhere in your heart, you will realize that Dave really, really honestly didn't mean to sound like a horndog himself or suggest that you were being too prude or anything offensive.
So just forget about this ordeal (after you think it through from an outside PoV) and go on with your daily life like this never happened =)
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much! Goodness I can really see what you are saying, I really like Dave and I think you are completely right about how Dave meant that comment to sound. You really know how to take boy-logic and explain it to girls dont you? Well thank you again, I can finally stop worrying about it.