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Did you ever wake up and wonder when your life became a soap opera? A bizzare mixture between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Days of our Lives'?



I know I've had that feeling - that it's just all too dramatic and ridiculous, and wouldn't it be nice to go and under a nicely-furnished rock for a while? So, whilst I do not promise or claim to be an expert on how teenage boys minds work or how you can uncode your best friend's baffling behaviour, I'll always attempt to empathise and offer some honest words of advice.



I am 21, with a fairly dysfunctional life as a artsy student type. I've recently graduated with a degree in Philosophy, and am spending time working in the law before returning to university for further study. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like where I am at the moment. I like shoes, bad television, chocolate cheescake and pretty things.



I am very busy at the moment, attempting to fund my life as a postgraduate (that's grad school to the Americans). I do still stop by quite a lot to help out with the admin stuff, but my column is pretty lame and inactive. Boo-hiss. I will however still endeavour to answer any questions that are sent my way, so feel free to send questions to my inbox.





Frequently Asked Questions


Actually, I made them up. But they are questions that I've seen more than once around this site (and, indeed, in the real world), and so have created general responses to them, linked below. It's a little sparse at the moment, but I'll be adding to the list as I think of more questions (and, er, answers to them).



Getting back together with an ex



Difficulty preparing for exams

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hailebop





Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: December 30, 2003
Answers: 455
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 55182


Advicenators.com



Ok heres the deal my bf has been in a relationship before me with another girl and he was very serious with her and while they were going out he treated me like crap. Then, they broke up and he was all upset bc he said she was the love of his life, blah blah blah. So then me and him start to flirting and stuff and we both like each other and he asks me out well I said I need to think about this and the next day I find out he's back with her. Well he dumped her and then we some how end up together. But now he says he loves me and a part of his always has and was thinking of me when he was going out with her, but how do I know this it feels like he's using lines on me that he used on her and idk if their genuine or not or if he's just saying this and is going to end up changing his mind, P.S. this boy said he had liked me since fourth grade and it's been a while since then and we've dated before, THANKS SORRY ITS SOO LONG!!!!

Sometimes people change, but more often they do not. If a guy has a history of, in your own words, 'treating you like crap', then chances are he'll do it again. If he's hot and cold with you and fliting about between you and his ex-girlfriend then he doesn't like you enough to make a commitment, whatever lines he pulls about having liked you for years.

Maybe he does have some genuine feelings for you, but that does distract from the fact that he's behaved and is continuing to behave badly to you. Moreover, you don't trust him. Why be in a relationship if you aren't sure any of the sentiments are real?

Give yourself a break from this guy. If he does have genuine feelings for you he'll start behaving differently and you'll get some confidence that his feelings are real, and you'll be able to start on a meaningful relationship. If on the other hand he is just spinning you lines, he'll just swing straight back to his ex-girlfriend or somebody else, and you will have been saved some heartache. All the best.

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thanks
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