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Did you ever wake up and wonder when your life became a soap opera? A bizzare mixture between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Days of our Lives'?



I know I've had that feeling - that it's just all too dramatic and ridiculous, and wouldn't it be nice to go and under a nicely-furnished rock for a while? So, whilst I do not promise or claim to be an expert on how teenage boys minds work or how you can uncode your best friend's baffling behaviour, I'll always attempt to empathise and offer some honest words of advice.



I am 21, with a fairly dysfunctional life as a artsy student type. I've recently graduated with a degree in Philosophy, and am spending time working in the law before returning to university for further study. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like where I am at the moment. I like shoes, bad television, chocolate cheescake and pretty things.



I am very busy at the moment, attempting to fund my life as a postgraduate (that's grad school to the Americans). I do still stop by quite a lot to help out with the admin stuff, but my column is pretty lame and inactive. Boo-hiss. I will however still endeavour to answer any questions that are sent my way, so feel free to send questions to my inbox.





Frequently Asked Questions


Actually, I made them up. But they are questions that I've seen more than once around this site (and, indeed, in the real world), and so have created general responses to them, linked below. It's a little sparse at the moment, but I'll be adding to the list as I think of more questions (and, er, answers to them).



Getting back together with an ex



Difficulty preparing for exams

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hailebop





Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: December 30, 2003
Answers: 455
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 55256


Advicenators.com



I have a question about men. I want to have children some day but havent found the right guy yet. When I do find a guy that I like, what are some signs that could tell me whether or not he would make a good father?
Also, is it a bad sign if the man is already in his mid 40's and has never had any children? Is there still a chance he might want kids at that age? I am 26 and know a guy that is 45 and I think he likes me, but he has never had kids.

Being older and without children might be a sign that a man doesn't want to have children, but it could also be explained by many other factors, such as him not having met anyone he wanted to settle down with yet, him not feeling ready to be a parent when he was younger or him having a demanding career that didn't leave him much oppertunity for meeting and socialising with women. You can't really tell unless you ask, and to be honest, if you see the relationship with this man progressing to a long term relationship involving children it is better that you are honest so you can guage his opinions on childrearing at an early stage. If having children is very important to you, you don't want to waste two years attempting to suss out his behaviour by watching him with small children only to be later told that he likes kids but feels too old or that he doesn't see himself becoming a father.

You might feel akward asking directly "Do you want children?" or "How would you feel about becoming a father?", but if you are planning on spending your life with a person (or, indeed, just having children with them) then these are the kind of things you've got to be prepared to discuss with them. If you prefer, you could open the conversation with something more neutral about yourself, such as "I've always imagined I'd have children by the time I'm 30" or "I didn't like being an only child, I think children are better raised with siblings", etc. where you can then allow the conversation to develop naturally to whether you and he have the same wants with regard to children, but it's something that I think for your own piece of mind, needs to be discussed. All the best.

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very good advice, thankyou
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