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Did you ever wake up and wonder when your life became a soap opera? A bizzare mixture between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Days of our Lives'?



I know I've had that feeling - that it's just all too dramatic and ridiculous, and wouldn't it be nice to go and under a nicely-furnished rock for a while? So, whilst I do not promise or claim to be an expert on how teenage boys minds work or how you can uncode your best friend's baffling behaviour, I'll always attempt to empathise and offer some honest words of advice.



I am 21, with a fairly dysfunctional life as a artsy student type. I've recently graduated with a degree in Philosophy, and am spending time working in the law before returning to university for further study. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like where I am at the moment. I like shoes, bad television, chocolate cheescake and pretty things.



I am very busy at the moment, attempting to fund my life as a postgraduate (that's grad school to the Americans). I do still stop by quite a lot to help out with the admin stuff, but my column is pretty lame and inactive. Boo-hiss. I will however still endeavour to answer any questions that are sent my way, so feel free to send questions to my inbox.





Frequently Asked Questions


Actually, I made them up. But they are questions that I've seen more than once around this site (and, indeed, in the real world), and so have created general responses to them, linked below. It's a little sparse at the moment, but I'll be adding to the list as I think of more questions (and, er, answers to them).



Getting back together with an ex



Difficulty preparing for exams

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hailebop





Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: December 30, 2003
Answers: 455
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 55198


Advicenators.com



My boyfried & I were good friends before we developed feelings for eachother. Our relationship started slow, like he'd just put his arm around me in movies & we'd talk. Then things are getting closer & by only the third or fourth date, we make out most of the movie. I love showinnng my affection for him & he's a really sweet guy I just don't want things to get touchy-feely & nothing else. How can I make sure we don't base our relationship on lust?


In new relationships it is sometimes easy to feel swept away by your new feelings and forget to make time for talking and sharing, especially if you don't get to spend a huge amount of time together. Real intimacy will only come from being close to each other emotionally as well as physically though, so it's important not to neglect the quality time you spend together by just spending it making out.

If you know you can't control the urge to get touchy-feely in places like the cinema then go on dates to more public places like resturants where you can enjoy quality time away from the temptation and pressure for things to turn sexual.

It's also important to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. Explain as you have here that you like the ways things are, but talk about your concerns of the relationship being too much about the physical side of things. He should reassure you that he's interested in more than just making out, and once he knows how you feel he might make more of an effort with the emotional side to the relationship. All the best.

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THANKS SO MUCH! ♥
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