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Love VS Lust
My boyfried & I were good friends before we developed feelings for eachother. Our relationship started slow, like he'd just put his arm around me in movies & we'd talk. Then things are getting closer & by only the third or fourth date, we make out most of the movie. I love showinnng my affection for him & he's a really sweet guy I just don't want things to get touchy-feely & nothing else. How can I make sure we don't base our relationship on lust?
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Be open with him all the time, constantly tell him how you feel.Be affectionette,but dont do it to extend where all he wants is affection.
Hope I HelpeD!
<3
-Amber Nicole-
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Talk to him and tell him that you dont want your relationship to be based on just LUST !! but if he cant except that or anything that you say then the guy isnt worth it !! Hope i helped !!
kaitlyn jO<3
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Well, if things are moving to fast, tell him. Don't let him breka any of your moral values. If he is your friend, he should already know how you feel. It's normal to make out on the 3rd or 4th date, but do tell him if things go to fast. Hope it all works out!
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It'll be hard, but it's still possible. The first, and most important, thing you need to do is talk to your b/f about it. Be honest with him and tell him how you feel about both sides of the issue (want to, just not as much).
You need to decide on and define some boundaries - how much is ok, and what's not. You then need to keep those bouondaries - if they're flexible, they will bend farther and farther.
Also, decide what you want to do physically. This is different because these are the things you want to do - if your boundaries are maximums, these will be your minimums. But your minimums should be more flexible as they may not always be met.
Now, you don't want to be physical all of the time, so plan time to be physical and time to do other things. I don't mean to tell him "alright, so we'll go have dinner at 6, and after dinner drive out to an abandoned location and make out until 8" or anything, but don't make your plans such that if you're going to make out, it has to be during the movie because there's no other time available.
When you feel like things are getting too physical, you should say that you want to do something else. You can try to do things in public where you can easily be seen more often. And you could try having more conversations with him - find topics that the two of you enjoy talking about, whether it be politics, religion, hobbies, social issues, or whatever. Meaningful conversation is a necessary part of a serious relationship, I feel. This will both help you two not be as physical, and make the physical times all that much better.
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In new relationships it is sometimes easy to feel swept away by your new feelings and forget to make time for talking and sharing, especially if you don't get to spend a huge amount of time together. Real intimacy will only come from being close to each other emotionally as well as physically though, so it's important not to neglect the quality time you spend together by just spending it making out.
If you know you can't control the urge to get touchy-feely in places like the cinema then go on dates to more public places like resturants where you can enjoy quality time away from the temptation and pressure for things to turn sexual.
It's also important to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. Explain as you have here that you like the ways things are, but talk about your concerns of the relationship being too much about the physical side of things. He should reassure you that he's interested in more than just making out, and once he knows how you feel he might make more of an effort with the emotional side to the relationship. All the best.
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wat you need to do is tell him that you love him very much but you want your relationship to be more than just lust!!
***Hope i could help:-)***
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talk to him about it and tell him how you feel.. if he loves you and cares about you he will listen to you and understand it.
*~Stephanie~*
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You should definatley tell him how you feel, and if he cares anything about you, he will understand. Thats always a little easier to girls than to guys, but it wouldnt be too much for him to do if he honestly cared about you. Just try not to be too stiff and turn away any touchy-feely affection he is showing you. Some of those things are what makes a relationship stronger. I really hope I helped!
♥Emily
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just tell him how you feel if he doesnt accept then hes not worth it but if he does he'll undrestand.Hope i helped!
~*Cathryn*~
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