Hey...I don't really think you can help much with this, but I'm curious to see what you think of it all. This is probably gonna be long. Sorry.
Okay. My boyfriend and I are really close in every way. We love each other completely, and we're technically engaged. The only thing is...he'd told me he was staying here for college, but then he went on a trip with his family to see the rest of their family this break, and all of a sudden decided he wants to go there for college. That would be a four year separation, maybe more, and I don't know how to handle it. He went away this summer for 2 months and it, like, killed me. I can't imagine not seeing him for a year. We're not going to break up or anything, and I'm not going to try to make him stay (though I'd like to) because he'd resent me, I'm sure, if I did. I don't want to make him stay here for me, but he's planning to go to tech school. Can't he just stay here? I would go with him, but there are absolutely no good vocal programs where he's planning to go, and I already got accepted into a college here that does. (I'm doing vocal performance as my major).
Anyway...I don't know what to do. I almost don't want to talk to him about it because I'll end up crying and making him feel bad, then feeling bad about making him feel bad. Lol. Plus, I hate for him to see me cry.
So...anything to say?
You need to talk to your boyfriend about this, and go through the options together. Explain that you can't realistically go to college where he wants to go because of the course you want to do, so he understands that if he goes away to college, you are going to be in a long-distance relationship. He may well just not have thought things through in the excitement of finding this place, and once he realises the practical implications, he'll reconsider.
If he really wants to go, talk about whether you think the two of you could cope with a long-distance relationship and not seeing each other very often. Long-distance tends to exaggerate any already existing tension points in the relationship, and you have to both be willing to really work on maintaining the relationship, or it just ends in hurt. I think if you honestly wouldn't cope with a long-distance relationship and he's absolutely certain he wants to go away to college, then you have to be fair to yourself and break up now. If you can't do it, save yourself the heartache. It sounds harsh, but it will hurt less than having your relationship slowly crumble, and perhaps having such a strong stance will make your boyfriend realise how much he'll loose by insisting on going to college far away. Good luck, and all the best.
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Thanks. I really appreciate your taking time to answer this. I'll talk to him about it. =)
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