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Did you ever wake up and wonder when your life became a soap opera? A bizzare mixture between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Days of our Lives'?



I know I've had that feeling - that it's just all too dramatic and ridiculous, and wouldn't it be nice to go and under a nicely-furnished rock for a while? So, whilst I do not promise or claim to be an expert on how teenage boys minds work or how you can uncode your best friend's baffling behaviour, I'll always attempt to empathise and offer some honest words of advice.



I am 21, with a fairly dysfunctional life as a artsy student type. I've recently graduated with a degree in Philosophy, and am spending time working in the law before returning to university for further study. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like where I am at the moment. I like shoes, bad television, chocolate cheescake and pretty things.



I am very busy at the moment, attempting to fund my life as a postgraduate (that's grad school to the Americans). I do still stop by quite a lot to help out with the admin stuff, but my column is pretty lame and inactive. Boo-hiss. I will however still endeavour to answer any questions that are sent my way, so feel free to send questions to my inbox.





Frequently Asked Questions


Actually, I made them up. But they are questions that I've seen more than once around this site (and, indeed, in the real world), and so have created general responses to them, linked below. It's a little sparse at the moment, but I'll be adding to the list as I think of more questions (and, er, answers to them).



Getting back together with an ex



Difficulty preparing for exams

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hailebop





Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: December 30, 2003
Answers: 455
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 55194


Advicenators.com



My boyfriend and I have been together for around 3 and a half months. I really like him and he says he feels the same but we never talk. He acts like all he cares about is seeing how far he can go with me. When we are not hugging or kissing, we just stand around not talking. We just never have anything to talk about. I don't want to break up with him because I really like him but our relationship is based on physical contact and no emotional support. So what should I do?


Everybody likes to be held and kissed - it makes us feel warm and loved. Just those things alone however cannot fulfill you for long. If you can't communicate and don't have anything in common which you can share, then things will just break down as you become frustrated by the lack of another element to your relationship. That is what is happening now.

The obvious answer is to talk to your boyfriend. When it's got to this stage however, that can be hard as conversation feels and sounds forced and akward. The answer is to start small. When you greet him, don't kiss him immediately, say something small but relevant ("Urgh, I had the worst journey getting here. Sorry I'm late"/"Have you seen *mutual friend* today? I've been trying to get hold of him/her..." etc) which, though it's very small opens a chance to talk which you can get back to later.

Guys often shut down when they are bombarded with lots of talk in a row, so a big long talk about your day is a bad way to try and get him to open up - start small, mentioning things you know he's interested in - stuff in school, people you know, things he might have seen on television, things related to things you've done together on dates, etc. Get him actively involved, even if he doesn't talk a lot, rather than just talking at him at length or bombarding him with questions, as this sudden change will likely confuse him and make him defensive and unwilling to say a lot. The chances are, he's bothored by the lack of conversation too, but just isn't sure how to remedy it. Once you open up oppertunitys and show that you want to talk and that it can be fun, he'll relax into it and hopefully open up a lot. Good luck!

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wow your the only person who actually gave good advice to this question, thanks so much! Rainbowcherrie x
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