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Did you ever wake up and wonder when your life became a soap opera? A bizzare mixture between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Days of our Lives'?



I know I've had that feeling - that it's just all too dramatic and ridiculous, and wouldn't it be nice to go and under a nicely-furnished rock for a while? So, whilst I do not promise or claim to be an expert on how teenage boys minds work or how you can uncode your best friend's baffling behaviour, I'll always attempt to empathise and offer some honest words of advice.



I am 21, with a fairly dysfunctional life as a artsy student type. I've recently graduated with a degree in Philosophy, and am spending time working in the law before returning to university for further study. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like where I am at the moment. I like shoes, bad television, chocolate cheescake and pretty things.



I am very busy at the moment, attempting to fund my life as a postgraduate (that's grad school to the Americans). I do still stop by quite a lot to help out with the admin stuff, but my column is pretty lame and inactive. Boo-hiss. I will however still endeavour to answer any questions that are sent my way, so feel free to send questions to my inbox.





Frequently Asked Questions


Actually, I made them up. But they are questions that I've seen more than once around this site (and, indeed, in the real world), and so have created general responses to them, linked below. It's a little sparse at the moment, but I'll be adding to the list as I think of more questions (and, er, answers to them).



Getting back together with an ex



Difficulty preparing for exams

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hailebop





Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: December 30, 2003
Answers: 455
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 55190


Advicenators.com



Ok i have 3 sisters and 1 brother. My oldest sisteris married and has a daughter who is 2 and her husband has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 6. So im an aunt of 2 and my 2nd oldest sister found out that she was pregnant with her fiance of 6 years. im 14 years old. my sister is almost 5 months pregnant halfway through but she went for an ultrasound one day. she noticed that the baby really didn't move that much so she let the doctors know. her baby was tested positve for spinalbifida which could possibly make the baby never walk. Then she started freakin out and she blamed it on genetics because our cousin has it. so she went to a specialist to find out if the baby had the disease or not. Apparently my mom researched evry symptom that she had with the baby and it turns out the baby has a very rare disease called potters sequence which is where the babies kidneys are to big where they are hard and pushing on the lungs giving no way for a life. the longest the baby can live is probably only a couple of hours. its really tearing my sister apart. and we are real close so its tearing me up b/c she aint talkin to me. What im askin is how do i try to get through to her without makin the situation worse or makin her cry? i really dont know howq to handle this. but i cant just not say nething b/c she needs me she always said i was the best person to talk to. she has always helped me and i just wanna say nething possible to help her. extremaly worried


I'm so sorry, for both you and your sister. Loosing a child is heartbreaking, and it must be incredibly hard on the family as a whole to try and support your siter through this.

I know you want to do as much as you can, but, sadly, there isn't much you can do. Your sister needs to grieve for the baby. Though it is very difficult to watch anyone, let alone people we love, suffering from grief, it is necessary for her to accept things and, eventually and with time, move on. Try to be there for her physically as a shoulder to cry on, but also remember to take care of yourself, as this will also be an emotional period for you where you too need support. I know it's tempting, but don't try and take on too much. You can't just magically make your sister feel better, as much as you'd love too, and if you try and take on too much emotional weight from her when you are still relatively young and ill-equipped to deal with such a tragedy you will hurt yourself even more, which I'm sure your sister doesn't want you to do. The best thing you can do is try to work together as a family to support each other. All the best.

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thankyou
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