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Did you ever wake up and wonder when your life became a soap opera? A bizzare mixture between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Days of our Lives'?



I know I've had that feeling - that it's just all too dramatic and ridiculous, and wouldn't it be nice to go and under a nicely-furnished rock for a while? So, whilst I do not promise or claim to be an expert on how teenage boys minds work or how you can uncode your best friend's baffling behaviour, I'll always attempt to empathise and offer some honest words of advice.



I am 21, with a fairly dysfunctional life as a artsy student type. I've recently graduated with a degree in Philosophy, and am spending time working in the law before returning to university for further study. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like where I am at the moment. I like shoes, bad television, chocolate cheescake and pretty things.



I am very busy at the moment, attempting to fund my life as a postgraduate (that's grad school to the Americans). I do still stop by quite a lot to help out with the admin stuff, but my column is pretty lame and inactive. Boo-hiss. I will however still endeavour to answer any questions that are sent my way, so feel free to send questions to my inbox.





Frequently Asked Questions


Actually, I made them up. But they are questions that I've seen more than once around this site (and, indeed, in the real world), and so have created general responses to them, linked below. It's a little sparse at the moment, but I'll be adding to the list as I think of more questions (and, er, answers to them).



Getting back together with an ex



Difficulty preparing for exams

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hailebop





Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: December 30, 2003
Answers: 455
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 55225


Advicenators.com



One of the guys I like is either homosexual or bisexual. I'm slightly homophobic but I really like him a lot. I don't only like him as a crush, but as a friend. I don't know what to do about this, or what to think. Should I continue to let myself like him, or should I try to get over him as quickly as possible and only like him as a friend? I don't know what to do.


To begin with, you need to find out whether he is homosexual or bisexual. If he's gay then you don't realistically have a chance as anything more than good friends. If he's bisexual however you two could have a chance.

Before contemplating a romantic relationship with him you need to deal with your prejudices. I think it's brave of you to admit you do have these mixed, confusing feelings. All I can say is start exploring why you feel the way you do and whether you think that it's an objectively reasonable standpoint. Read one of my favourite articles ever, 'What's wrong with gay sex?' http://www.thinking-big.co.uk/gay_sex.htm Hopefully the more you rationalise and learn the less homophobic you'll become, as you'll begin that people with different sexual preferences are all around you, and aren't really that different to you or I.

If you can't shake the feelings you have, steer clear for a while and give it some time. I know that will be hard, because you can't just switch off feelings you have, but it isn't really fair on him to get close to him when you don't respect the way he is. I hope however that that situation won't arise, and you'll be able to have, at the very least, a great friendship. Good luck!

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That was a great article. I hope I can open my mind more. It's hard though being brought up the way I was, by the Bible and all that.
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