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Did you ever wake up and wonder when your life became a soap opera? A bizzare mixture between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Days of our Lives'?



I know I've had that feeling - that it's just all too dramatic and ridiculous, and wouldn't it be nice to go and under a nicely-furnished rock for a while? So, whilst I do not promise or claim to be an expert on how teenage boys minds work or how you can uncode your best friend's baffling behaviour, I'll always attempt to empathise and offer some honest words of advice.



I am 21, with a fairly dysfunctional life as a artsy student type. I've recently graduated with a degree in Philosophy, and am spending time working in the law before returning to university for further study. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like where I am at the moment. I like shoes, bad television, chocolate cheescake and pretty things.



I am very busy at the moment, attempting to fund my life as a postgraduate (that's grad school to the Americans). I do still stop by quite a lot to help out with the admin stuff, but my column is pretty lame and inactive. Boo-hiss. I will however still endeavour to answer any questions that are sent my way, so feel free to send questions to my inbox.





Frequently Asked Questions


Actually, I made them up. But they are questions that I've seen more than once around this site (and, indeed, in the real world), and so have created general responses to them, linked below. It's a little sparse at the moment, but I'll be adding to the list as I think of more questions (and, er, answers to them).



Getting back together with an ex



Difficulty preparing for exams

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hailebop





Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: December 30, 2003
Answers: 455
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 55237


Advicenators.com



Has anybody heard of gender identity disorder? it's when you are born one gender but with the opposite gender's body? example, you can be a guy trapped in a girls body. I think I have a friend who has this. She's more than just a "tomboy." She dresses like a guy, acts like a guy, does manly things, talks manly, denies that she has or ever will get her period, and she duck tapes her boobs down. what do you think of this?


From what you have described, your friend sounds like she suffers from gender disphoria of some variety. There are many, many people who have feelings of gender disphoria. Your friend is by no means alone. She may well be confused about who she is inside, especially as she is growing through puperty. If she is transgendered, this will be an emotional and confusing time for her, as she is likely to feel even more alienated from her body. You don't want to pressure her to talk about this if she doesn't want to or isn't yet ready to, but you can show that you are open and ready to listen if she ever does want to talk about her gender and/or sexuality.

It's a tough topic to approach, and it might be better to wait until she brings it up with you. If you do want to talk about it, educating yourself beforehand is a great idea. There are many gender 'disorders', and there is a great deal of misunderstanding about transexualism. Showing sensitivy, understanding and knowledge when talking to your friend will make talking and coming to terms with her situation more easily. http://www.genderpsychology.org/ is a great site to start with. Good luck to both you and your friend.

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thanks, you gave the best advice!
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