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Kristina is the name i'm a self taught artist iv'e been a featured advice columnist 9 time’s

advice

I think my friend is addicted to the internet. She has accounts on manny different websites, and spends most of the day either talking about said websites or using them. How do i approach this problem?

You need to her sit down and tell her that lately you've noticed she has been using the internet more frequently and as her friend your afraid and becoming concerned that she's becoming addicted and you don't want to see that happen to her ask her if
she could cut down the time she spends on the computer nicely that way you aren't being rude about
it towards her make her realize that it's not good to be spending that much time on the computer and she needs to take a break once in a while(:

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i was hooking up with this guy the other night and he started fingering me. he was rubbing my clit, but the way he was doing it, it really hurt. i didn't know what to do, bc i didn't wanna be like "umm you're hurting me...", so i just pushed his hand down farther. is that bad? idk what to do if that happens again

Yes it is bad that you his pushed his hand down further seeing as he was hurting you..you need to
be straight forward and honest with him say that when he was fingering you he was hurting you and tell him that you didn't know what to do so you kept it to yourself and didn't say anything..you
didn't want to ruin the moment and say your hurting me if it happens again then speak up and say something make it known to him that your uncomfortable he won' know unless you tell him
ask him if he can be more gently when fingering you
so he doesn't start hurting you again and you can enjoy what he's doing to you better(:

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15/f
So there's this guy that I met at the beginning of the school year. Me & him became great friends. I can tell him everything ,from guy problems, family issues, & even random things that came to mind. I can be my total self around him.

On New Years Eve he had a thing with my best friend Sarah*. Sarah really fell for him. He told me he was drunk that night & regretted everything & he wished she had noticed he was drunk & stuff. Anyways ... she's liked him for the longest time.

Unfortunately, he started really falling for me during spring break. I too, started liking him. I told him I couldn't take it any further than a friendship, because I didn't want to ruin things with Sarah. He told me that "Sometimes when you really like somebody ... You just have to take a risk & hope for the best."

Well, I never took that risk. Me & Sarah's friendship ended because of other things. And I started realizing that I really let a good one go. Of course this guy is still my good friend, but he now has a girlfriend. I can tell he still likes me at some points. But I know it will never be the same.

I'm so sorry this is so long, and I thank you for actually taking the time to read through this whole thing.

Basically, I don't know what to do. I like him, but I'm really not a good girl for commitment. And that's why I'm so scared. I don't want to hurt him. Should I take the risk? I don't even know what to do. I'm going crazy here. :/

By the way, like I said ... I could tell him everything. So he knows how I am with commitment & stuff. So I guess that's good.

I don't think you should take the risk seeing as he's got a girlfriend already if he didn't have one
then that'd be a different story you don't want to risk coming in between him and his relationship and
have problems happen if your scared then it's probably not a good idea to try and get his attention seeing as you don't seem confident and your afraid you'll hurt him everything happens for a
reason just because this one thing didn't work out
like you would of liked doesn't exactly that the same thing will happen next time anything can happen..i'd wait till you feel ready and your confident about commitment(:

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I'm 15. I have a huge obsession with Call Of Duty. It's all I talk about in school, at home, and outside. I feel it eating my brain. I play all day and all night. It makes me seem as if I have no life. I even speak with accents and say lines from the game in school, even to my teachers, I would say, "Oi' suzi, Tango down pass me' ye' paper eh" in a scottish accents. I don't want the accent to stick. I also do the Russian accent, and Arab accent, all the time. Call Of Duty is all I think about, I even stopped hanging out and playing sports. WTF! It's like trying to get my mom to quit smoking.& I have not been with a girl ever since my obsession's origin.

Yes i do think you could be obsessed you've got to realize that playing video games is just for fun and
when it starts affecting you not hanging out and not playing sports you've got a problem you can't allow playing the game to control your life and stop you from doing normal everyday things that's when you've got to say enough is enough i'm going to do something elese and step away for a while there's other things you could be doing other then
playing video games like hanging out with your friends getting some fresh air outside doing whatever you like if you feel like it's consuming your life taking over you've got to quit playing and step away from the game otherwise you'll just
continue to play keep yourself busy so you won't want to play and your mind will be focused on other things(:

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A few years ago my girlfriend went the the doctor and she has polyps they said it didnt seem bad just come every year for a check up. Well she wont and resfuses to go to the doctor she has had blood in her stool and has actually bleed after shes done in the bathroom. I am really worried I read up it could be something simple but she wont go and it hurts knowing something could possibly happen to her. How can I get her to go?

You've got to tell her that since it's dealing with
her health she's got to go having blood in her stool isn't good & it's better to be safe then sorry she doesn't want to risk things becoming worst also tell her that since she's refusing to go it's hurting you knowing something could possiblity happen to her & you don't want that happening maybe once she realizes it's hurting you she'll choose to go for your sake & her's you could even offer to go with her to the doctor & wait in the waiting room until she goes in that might make her feel more comfortable(:

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19/f. I'm in college and I still live at home. I live with my mom and my grandparents and I love them all very much. But, my mom, especially, is driving me crazy. She use to be my best friend. I still love her, but, she's just too difficult for me. She just doesn't let me live my life. She wants to drop me off everywhere I go. If I'm going on a date, she wants to drop me off. If I'm going to someone's house or to the gym or to work or to school, she wants to drop me off. It's getting to the point where it's just upsetting because there's things I don't need her for. I fight with her about everything. I'm kind of dark blonde now and I wanted to go brunette and she had a major fit about it and she was just like "no, you can't do it." In the end, I know that I can do it because I don't need her permission. It's my money and my hair. I was just asking for her blessing. But, it's SUCH an argument about it. She makes me show her the clothes that I'm going to where to school to see if their "sexy enough." It's so weird because it's not like she's overprotective. I've led a normal life, had friends, boyfriends, and a scholarship to college. But, it's an argument about every little thing. Today, I was dizzy and I didn't want to go somewhere and she got so upset. It was a big fight just because I didn't want to go there. It's so strange. Usually, we're like friends. But, right now I just need my own personal space. I'm not asking for a lot. I just need her to take a couple of steps back and stop invading everything! Recently, I also found out that I was adopted. I don't know if that may have something to do with it. Like, she doesn't want to let me go. I am moving to my own place at the end of august. But, I need her to start backing up a little bit so that i could "independicize" myself before I move out. That's all I'm asking. Thanks and I hope you can offer some advice as to this situation.

You've got to sit your mother down & tell her how
you feel otherwise she won't know make her realize
your no longer a baby anymore your grown & your able
to take care of yourself your very responsible seeing as you attend college & you've got a job you
need her for something's but not for everything & you'd like it if she backed away & let you live your
life tell her nicely seeing as she's still your mother & you need to respect her she needs to allow
you to make mistakes & learn from them be independent have freedom she doesn't need to control
every aspect of your life you being adopted may have
something to do with the way she's acting that's a possiblity you should confront her about it & ask if
your curious(:

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Okay So I Have These Two Friends Who I care About Lots. But I just recently Found out that the two were talkin about on one of their facebook status's. And One friend deleted the comment that she wrote so I wouldnt see it but the other comments was sayin that i wuz the baby out the crew and blah blah blah. So Im Really hurt about the fact.I dont consider myself the baby out the group and is hurt that they would think that.I dont know if I should confront this little problem or let it roll of my shoulder. What I should I do??/

I don't think you should let this go seeing as your
hurt by it you should never allow anyone to push you
around or talk badly about you seeing as it isn't right to do only you know the truth & they don't their making up lies about you stand up for yourself & defend yourself your best option is to
confront them & tell them you feel hurt by the comment they made you deserve a apology tell them
you'd like it if they apologized and to stop saying
lies & things that aren't true about you(:

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My sister is starting to make me freak out about my future, I want to become a nurse. So this program I'm doing, I'm graduating with my associates of sciences. Then I'm planning to go to a university, the thing is... My GPA is somewhat at risk. It went to a 3.5 to a 3.2 all due to one C. Then I had 2 C's in the spring semester so it dropped my GPA to a 2.9... My sister says to be in a nursing program I have to have a 3.5, and the thing is.. I'm starting to think I'm not smart enough. No matter how hard I try, I always seem to make a lower grade than I expected. I can't seem to put my mind into school because I also have work on the side since my parents are divorcing and selling the house so I'm trying to save money. I don't know... Is getting into nursing school really that hard? Should I change my major? What should I do? What can I do to help me succeed in school?

Anything medical related is never easy and nobody said it would be that includes becoming a nurse too you can do anything if you put your mind to it and focus you've got to have confidence believe in your yourself if you continue to say your not smart enough you'll continue to fail but if you believe and have confidence you'll do good and you'll succeed & see progress being made i looked up what your sister said & she's correct about the 3.5 gpa to be in the nursing program you've got to somehow balance both work & school try to not let the fact that your parents are getting divorced interfere with your schooling i don't think you should change your major you should finish what you started seeing as if you were to change you'd have to start over fresh again if you want to become a nurse bad enough
you'll do whatever it takes to accomplish your goal & you won't allow anyone to stand in your way or intimidate you and discourage you that includes your sister(:

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so I have/had this really good friend hes a guy im a girl and hes like my BEST friend we used to be super close and tell eachother everything and then a while back we hooked up, and well ever since then things just havent been the same we still talk but we've definetley lost the bond we dont share everything like we used to we dont hang out anymore i guess its just HARD ti realize hes not really there for me anymore and i want to be able to just keep him close or let him go but its not that easy. Is there anything I can do??

I think you should sit him down and talk to him he
won't know unless you tell him how your feeling get it all out in the open so he hears it say that lately you've noticed that you & him haven't been hanging out like in the past & you want to be feel
more closer to him & you'd like it if you two started to hangout more everything happens for a reason people drift away from one another over time
& move on it's apart of life(:

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i know friends that talks crap about people and make fun of them or just talk behind people's back, but i know a friend that she doesnt talk bad about anybody or doesnt gossip about anyone and when one of my friend is talking bad about someone to my friend she just doesnt say anything or agree with them, it seems like shes uncomfortable by it, does that make her loyal?

Yes it does make her loyal seeing as talking crap
about people and making fun of them isn't exactly a
good thing it's hurtful & could hurt others feelings
she probably is uncomfortable with it which is why she didn't say anything & didn't agree with them(:

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me and my friend got close this year, and we are so comfortable with each other and joke around a lot but recently our play arguments turned into something serious and we started arguing seriously and we were getting arguing because we didn't take other seriously when both of us talks about something serious but its mostly me, she confronted me that i hurt her feelings a lot and i started to become defensive and i acted like i was right and keep attacking her because i didn't want the blame on me so i blamed her i know it is horrible and we were both getting mad at each other but we forgive each other easily and we're okay now but this time it seems like its really serious,and the thing is she thinks that im acting different towards her like i dont joke around as much as i do. The truth is when she confronted me i was hurt knowing that i hurt her feelings a lot and now i take her seriously because i don't to want to hurt her anymore, im afraid to lose her but i just don't know what to do anymore and i keep making the same mistakes over and over again, because she's too nice so i feel like im keeping my distance from her but im just being polite to her and i dontwant to disrespect her again and if i do joke around with her i know i will hurt her feelings again by taking it too far what should i do? when she confronted me i was really hurt and sad knowing i disappointed her.

You need to tell her how you feel get everything all out in the open talk to her she won't know unless you do tell her that when she confronted you..you were hurt knowing that you hurt
her feelings also disappointed and sad now you take her seriously because you don't want to hurt her anymore tell her your afraid of loosing her & you keep making the same mistakes which is why your keeping your distance and being polite to her i think your acting this way because your afraid of hurting her and also loosing her as well(:

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My family situation is pretty crazy and embarrassing to talk about, and I'm still having trouble coming to terms with it. My parents divorced 3 years ago. Basically, what happened was that my dad said he was going a business trip, and then never came back.

Since he disappeared he left a lot of loose ends. He has never let me talk with him about what happened in an honest and open way (he didn't bother seeing or calling me until one year after he left), the divorce process lasted a year and was really ugly, he left my mum to pay the bills and take care of me, he remarried without telling me, bought his new family a house and settled down on the other side of the atlantic with them etc.

Now he's saying he wants to talk to me and reestablish a relationship, by sending emails full of either sentimental bs, or unreasonable demands, or long explanations of how everything wrong in his life is my mum's fault. He finds it perplexing that I don't respect him or listen to him at all. He expects me to be perfectly fine about the fact that he never showed any interest in my life before, left me to fend for myself, and that he was never honest with me about anything before either. A part of me would like to just ignore the fact he exists for the rest of my life because he is such an idiotic, annoying and selfish b*****d, but he is my dad and I can't ignore that fact, so another part of me wants to give him another chance. At the moment I'm ignoring his messages by not talking to him. I blocked his email addresses for a few months too. I just didnt know what to think about him so I gave up thinking about him for a while until now.

What can I do now? I tried many time in the past to reestablish communication with him and trust him, but all that happened was that he ignored my attempts and pretended like there was nothing to talk about and that I was a yabbering whiny little kid, which really hurt me. Now he's trying, and I'm tempted to do to him what he did to me. He's so useless. Obviously if he wanted to make things right he'd do more than send emails.

Sorry this is such a long-winded and nonsensical question but I just need somewhere to vent my emotional steam. And btw I have seen a counsellor in the past to sort out my thoughts but it really didn't help... at all. Thanks!

You've got to realize by him sending you e-mails he's trying to communicate with you & tie up those
loose ends make things right again for two of you he's attempting & trying it's a start for him if you do to him what he did to you it won't get you anywhere you won't make any progess ignoring him isn't any good either you can't hold a grudge aganist him seeing as he's your father nobody's perfect including him yes he wasn't around for most of your life but he makes mistakes & everything happens for a reason you've got to be willing to try like he is in order to make things better otherwise things won't change they will continue to stay the same if another part of you wants to give him another chance then do so & listen to yourself he deserves a chance to prove to you that he's willing to change & be a better father to you start over fresh you've got to be willing to change in order for it to happen(:

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so we just lost in soccer to our rival in the states game. im the goalie. and i played terrible. i had the worst game of my entire season, if not career. i couldnt get a save for the life of me. the game ended up going into overtime and we lost by one. there were so many people at the game, literally like 200, and they all pretty much know me well. I not only feel like a failure, but i let myself, my coaches and my team down. its been about 3 days since the game and i still have this terrible pit feeling in my stomach. to make it worst, the school that was scouting me for college was there. i feel so ashamed. idk. i had been having such an amazing season so far! i had stepped up so strong in so many games. it sucks that this was the last. idk...if anyone has any advice to give that will make me feel better i could really use it. i love soccer, but right now i cant even bear the thought to play right now. my heart sinks everytime i think about it. just please....i need some advice.

You aren't a failure everything happens for a reason everyone makes mistakes including yourself you aren't perfect you've got to hold your head up high because there's people who would hate to see you be hard on yourself your a good soccer player you had one bad game but you did well your whole season that's impressive you win some & you lose some you can't win them all as long as you play your best & have fun while doing it that's all that counts you don't have to prove yourself to anyone especially your old rival you shouldn't let what has happened stop you from playing soccer seeing as you love it you never know you could do better in your next game anything's possible & anything can happen be confident & don't let what has happened discourage you or make you back down(:

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okay. so i am a junior in high school. and their is this freshman boy. i am usually the type to not like guys younger than me or way older than me. well see this guy he is kind of unusual. he can be quiet and just say the funnest things out of no where. or he can be really obnoxious. he is also really talented. he is good at football, track, and basketball. all the girls in his grade liked him at one point of time. and i recently just fell for him because i think we would have alot of common and he has been messing with me which ended up me liking him. but there is some complications. 1st off he is a freshman and he is still in his immaturity stage sometimes. im not sure if he likes me. the only time i talk to him his during the track practices and meets. i just recently just gotten to know him because of track so i dont know much about him. im thinking about just going up to him and telling him im interested in him. but im scared of his reaction. and im scared of rejection. and ppl knowing that i like him if he does turn me down. that is if he does. i really dont know what to do could u help me?

I wouldn't just go up to him & say that your interested in him seeing as you don't know what his
reaction might be & it may not be a good one i say
go for it it's worth a shot even if things don't turn out the way you would of liked you'll still know you tried instead of not doing anything at all
him being immature could change you never know anything can happen i would get to know him better
before you tell him you like him maybe ask to hang
out once you start talking to him more(:

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My friend is having a small graduation party with some friends for graduating 8th grade (which gives you hint how old we are). She's inviting her boyfriend and his best friend (who is dating my other good friend), of course this didn't surprise me, but the problem is I really hate both of them. I used to date his best friend and he screwed me over, but that's a different story and probably why I don't like them. They are really arrogant and annoying and I really don't like them. And I am really mean to them when I am around them and they are to me. At the end of the night, I usually am really angry and really no fun to be around at all. Then I want weed to make me feel better. I don't enjoy being around them and just get mad so I made a silent pact to myself that whenever they are invited somewhere I won't go.

Does this sound reasonable? I just can't deal with their crap. I also don't like my friend when she's around her boyfriend. There really is no hope of me and those two guys of ever getting along so...

Yes it does sound reasonable your friend can't force
you to go if you don't want too it's your choice not her's plus you wouldn't have fun anyways seeing
as those certain people would be there why put yourself through all the drama & you being unhappy when you can avoid it entirely i'm sure your friend will understand why you chose to not go it's better for yourself & others attending the graduation if you didn't go less drama & they'll
be able to enjoy themselves better and so will you
by not going(:

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My boyfriend and I really love each other. But he lied to me and its about something serious and i'm not really sure how to handle the situation. I asked him if he's ever been married before he said no, so then i asked if he's ever been engaged and he told me twice. That kinda threw me off since I have never been married or engaged before but I still decided to give things a shot. That was back when we were first started getting to know each other. So the other day we were talking and the subject just came up again and this time he said he's been engaged once. So I was like how come back before you told me twice and now your switching stories on me. Now your saying you werent engaged with that girl, so then who was it really. And we were going back and forth when he finally decided to admit that it was twice. And said it was a totally different girl that he didnt tell me about before. So I asked him why he lied to me. And he said its a very long story its very deep etc. Then he said are you really curious, and he sent me a photo of the girl. I said wow so you still have a photo of her on your pc. He said yes, I do. Then he said she got married and left me. He said what are you going to leave me too. And he changed the subject like that. He's like I told you all this because your important to me blah blah. So i'm still like why did you lie to me and why do you still have her photo in your pc. This was the next day and he said i deleted it. If you want check my pc. And he's like your always watching me and scanning me. You dont trust me. And now i'm wondering if I should give him some credit. But i feel like i cant believe him as much as i used to. And he knows it too, he says i feel like whatever i say to you- you think its a lie and it hurts me. What should i do? Please help

I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt he made a mistake by lieing to you he isn't perfect & neither are you i don't think he purposely meant to hurt you or did it intentionally seeing as he said your important to him & he probably meant it part of being in a relationship with someone is being able to trust them without trust the relationship won't get very far listen to yourself & give him credit he deserves some he's already been through enough with the marriage & him being left alone he doesn't need you abandoning him believe what he says otherwise you'll continue to hurt him he could of kept the whole marriage thing to himself but instead he chose to tell you even though he lied he made a mistake he deleted the picture which he could of kept on his computer but didn't he also showed it to you so i think you should believe him otherwise you'll continue to hurt him & i'm sure you don't want that(:

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I really like this guy at school and so I got my friend to ask him out for me today because I'm way too shy to make the first move. He actually told my friend that he wouldn't date me because I look like Isabelle Karo or whatever. I don't know who this chick is and neither does my friend but, obviously, she must not be very pretty or something. Can somebody tell me about her or show me a picture so I know what I can change to make him think I'm hot? I don't want to search Google or whatever and get confused with different people. Whoever this girl is I guess she must be famous since she thought my friend would know here. There isn't any Isabelle in my school that either of us know about.

Some straight info please?

I looked up who she is & found this website that gives information about her http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isabelle_Caro also here's a picture of her(:

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I have a friend who I have known for almost 15 years, and she is like a sister to me and a best friend. Recently, my friend said she was going away on a hen do weekend to Ibiza because someone she knows is getting married, and my friend said to me 'you should come', but at the time I said I will try because I would have to find someone to watch my son for the weekend.

Fortunately, another friend of mine has offered to look after my son so I could go on the hen weekend with my 'sis', and I told her I had found someone and could she please let me know the flight details A.S.A.P so I could make sure that I get on the same flight as the hen party (the rest of the hen party has already booked), furthermore, flight prices go up by the day so it was important that I got the details from her soon as possible.

However, since then, every time I have asked her for the detail or if she has spoken to her friend about getting them yet, she says she hasn't seen her friend or she has been too tired to go and see her friend, (however, her friend lives in the flat next door!) It feels like she has been fobbing me off with excuses every time I ask, which has made me feel really sad, and that she may not be the friend I always thought she was.

I believe she may have said ‘you should come’ just to be nice, however, if she didn’t really mean it, then she could have been just as nice in letting me down and making up an excuse or something. She probably didn’t expect me to find someone to have my son as well. I just think after 14 years of friendship, she could have at least been honest with me. I wouldn’t have wanted to go on holiday with someone who didn’t want me there anyway.

There is more to this story: my ‘sis’ was also pregnant at the time she said ‘you should come’ (this was back in April) and her baby was born recently, and I have sent her a card but I have not yet been down to see her or her new baby. To be honest, the whole situation upsets me because of the dishonesty from her, so I have just been keeping away and my head down and studying for my Uni exams which are next week, so I have been dead busy anyway, but I would like to go see her and the baby, I just feel I can’t right now because of how I feel I have been treated.
Also, I have been very careful about how and when I mention to her about the flight details because I was very understanding about her pregnancy. I know she has been tired and she has had a lot on her mind with getting everything ready for the new baby, but, getting the flight details for me was not a huge task, and as I mentioned, her friend lives next door, and she also has a phone. I just feel she has been fobbing me off with excuses because she doesn’t really want me to come on the hen weekend.

Today, my ‘sis’ sent me a message through Facebook asking when I am going to go and visit her and the new baby, and now I don’t really know how to bring this subject up with her. I want her to know she has upset me and I don’t like being fobbed off, however, she is one of my best friends and I have known her a long time and I don’t want to end up in a row over it all and consequently, loose her as a friend.
I would appreciate your advice on this dilemma and it would be good to hear what others think of this situation. Many thanks in advance.

You should tell your friend that you've been busy
studying for your exams & you haven't had the chance to visit her you should also mention that her not getting the flight details really upset you seeing as she said she was going to do so & ended up not doing it like she orignally said she was going to it made you feel as if she didn't want you to come along tell her you don't like being treated poorly be honest with her & tell her how you feel be truthful i don't think she did it to purposely hurt you or did it intentionally it was a mistake she isn't perfect you deserve a apology so tell her you'd like for her to apologize & once she does tell her you hope your friendship doesn't get affected by what has happened try & get the situation straightened out & resolved without being mean to her seeing as the two of you are still friends(:

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im 18/female and my sister hates my guts she talks shit about me and my man all the time and i get to the point to her and tell her to stop and ack her age but she tells my man that i start it all the time and be nice to him i dont know what to do he believes me over her but im getting tired of it can someone tell me what i should do

You need to tell your sister that she has no right
to talk badly about you or your boyfriend seeing as
you both did nothing to her also that she needs to stop making up lies that aren't true and telling your boyfriend i'm sure she doesn't hate your guts seeing as she's your sister but make it clear to her that she needs to stop so she knows your serious & aren't messing around if she doesn't quit it then get your parents involved they'll be able to make her to stop for good tell your parents your
getting tired of it happening & would love if it stopped for good(:

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Okay, i have a friend (yes a friends its not me!) and she cuts herself because her EX broke up with her. now shes been cutting herself. im worried about her, she only tells her closest friends. i tell her to stop but she says she cant help it. i really want her to stop. shes my very best friend and i dont want anything bad to happen to her. i love her! shes the best! i hate seeing her unhappy! when her parents see her cuts she says she ran into stuff, she fell and all those excuses! (she cuts everywhere on her body except her wrists) i wish i could do something but i dont know what to do! Have u ever had this problem? Please help me, even more, help my friend!!

-Only Wants To Help Out

You need to sit your friend down & tell her that
cutting herself is very dangerous it isn't something
that's to be taken lightly or as a joke it's very serious tell her that by her cutting herself she's
hurting you and others that care for her there's
better ways to solve her problems and cutting herself isn't one of them it's just going to make things worst you can do something talk to her & make
her realize that what she's doing is dangerous say
your concerned and you just want to help as her best friend you & can't stand & watch her cut herself she's hurting you(:

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