|
Is my best friend really a friend at all??
I have a friend who I have known for almost 15 years, and she is like a sister to me and a best friend. Recently, my friend said she was going away on a hen do weekend to Ibiza because someone she knows is getting married, and my friend said to me 'you should come', but at the time I said I will try because I would have to find someone to watch my son for the weekend.
Fortunately, another friend of mine has offered to look after my son so I could go on the hen weekend with my 'sis', and I told her I had found someone and could she please let me know the flight details A.S.A.P so I could make sure that I get on the same flight as the hen party (the rest of the hen party has already booked), furthermore, flight prices go up by the day so it was important that I got the details from her soon as possible.
However, since then, every time I have asked her for the detail or if she has spoken to her friend about getting them yet, she says she hasn't seen her friend or she has been too tired to go and see her friend, (however, her friend lives in the flat next door!) It feels like she has been fobbing me off with excuses every time I ask, which has made me feel really sad, and that she may not be the friend I always thought she was.
I believe she may have said ‘you should come’ just to be nice, however, if she didn’t really mean it, then she could have been just as nice in letting me down and making up an excuse or something. She probably didn’t expect me to find someone to have my son as well. I just think after 14 years of friendship, she could have at least been honest with me. I wouldn’t have wanted to go on holiday with someone who didn’t want me there anyway.
There is more to this story: my ‘sis’ was also pregnant at the time she said ‘you should come’ (this was back in April) and her baby was born recently, and I have sent her a card but I have not yet been down to see her or her new baby. To be honest, the whole situation upsets me because of the dishonesty from her, so I have just been keeping away and my head down and studying for my Uni exams which are next week, so I have been dead busy anyway, but I would like to go see her and the baby, I just feel I can’t right now because of how I feel I have been treated.
Also, I have been very careful about how and when I mention to her about the flight details because I was very understanding about her pregnancy. I know she has been tired and she has had a lot on her mind with getting everything ready for the new baby, but, getting the flight details for me was not a huge task, and as I mentioned, her friend lives next door, and she also has a phone. I just feel she has been fobbing me off with excuses because she doesn’t really want me to come on the hen weekend.
Today, my ‘sis’ sent me a message through Facebook asking when I am going to go and visit her and the new baby, and now I don’t really know how to bring this subject up with her. I want her to know she has upset me and I don’t like being fobbed off, however, she is one of my best friends and I have known her a long time and I don’t want to end up in a row over it all and consequently, loose her as a friend.
I would appreciate your advice on this dilemma and it would be good to hear what others think of this situation. Many thanks in advance.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You should tell your friend that you've been busy
studying for your exams & you haven't had the chance to visit her you should also mention that her not getting the flight details really upset you seeing as she said she was going to do so & ended up not doing it like she orignally said she was going to it made you feel as if she didn't want you to come along tell her you don't like being treated poorly be honest with her & tell her how you feel be truthful i don't think she did it to purposely hurt you or did it intentionally it was a mistake she isn't perfect you deserve a apology so tell her you'd like for her to apologize & once she does tell her you hope your friendship doesn't get affected by what has happened try & get the situation straightened out & resolved without being mean to her seeing as the two of you are still friends(:
]
Never ever assume she is just avoiding getting you the information. She may not be telling the whole story, but don't write her off as a friend until you get all the details. Maybe the friend/neighbor is putting HER off.
What you need to do is go visit her and the new baby. She is probably thinking the same thing about you not visiting her right now as you feel about her ignoring your hen party details.
While visiting, ask her straight out, is there a problem with getting me the details? Do the others not want me going? Why do I feel you are blowing me off in all this? Get your answers. You are friends so talk! Don't just assume things. We all have a tendency to think the worse. Sometimes we have it all wrong. :)
]
More Questions: |