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My mom is driving me crazy
19/f. I'm in college and I still live at home. I live with my mom and my grandparents and I love them all very much. But, my mom, especially, is driving me crazy. She use to be my best friend. I still love her, but, she's just too difficult for me. She just doesn't let me live my life. She wants to drop me off everywhere I go. If I'm going on a date, she wants to drop me off. If I'm going to someone's house or to the gym or to work or to school, she wants to drop me off. It's getting to the point where it's just upsetting because there's things I don't need her for. I fight with her about everything. I'm kind of dark blonde now and I wanted to go brunette and she had a major fit about it and she was just like "no, you can't do it." In the end, I know that I can do it because I don't need her permission. It's my money and my hair. I was just asking for her blessing. But, it's SUCH an argument about it. She makes me show her the clothes that I'm going to where to school to see if their "sexy enough." It's so weird because it's not like she's overprotective. I've led a normal life, had friends, boyfriends, and a scholarship to college. But, it's an argument about every little thing. Today, I was dizzy and I didn't want to go somewhere and she got so upset. It was a big fight just because I didn't want to go there. It's so strange. Usually, we're like friends. But, right now I just need my own personal space. I'm not asking for a lot. I just need her to take a couple of steps back and stop invading everything! Recently, I also found out that I was adopted. I don't know if that may have something to do with it. Like, she doesn't want to let me go. I am moving to my own place at the end of august. But, I need her to start backing up a little bit so that i could "independicize" myself before I move out. That's all I'm asking. Thanks and I hope you can offer some advice as to this situation.
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You've got to sit your mother down & tell her how
you feel otherwise she won't know make her realize
your no longer a baby anymore your grown & your able
to take care of yourself your very responsible seeing as you attend college & you've got a job you
need her for something's but not for everything & you'd like it if she backed away & let you live your
life tell her nicely seeing as she's still your mother & you need to respect her she needs to allow
you to make mistakes & learn from them be independent have freedom she doesn't need to control
every aspect of your life you being adopted may have
something to do with the way she's acting that's a possiblity you should confront her about it & ask if
your curious(:
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Ahhh, this is the age old struggle between a young woman trying to gain her independence and a mother who doesn't want to let her little baby grow up. Your mom is sounding crazy right now, but you have to realize its all coming from a place of love. Its just coming out all crazy because she doesn't know how to deal with your changing life. And yes, maybe this recent revelation about the adoption is adding to it. Maybe there's a little part of her that feels like she's not only losing you to your future, but also she's losing you to your past too. She may feel like as you become more independent, you won't need her as a mother anymore. The best thing to do is sit down with your mother and have an honest, CALM conversation. You have to do this in a time of peace. Meaning, do it when nothing crazy is going on, not when you're fighting already. Maybe even make a lunch date with her. Go out to your favorite restaurant to talk. Then you know she's not going to blow her lid in public, at least. But tell her all the things you said here - that you've never thought she was overprotective but it seems like she's gone off the deep end lately. Tell her you love her and always considered her your best friend and always will. She'll always be your mom, but you know that its time for you to grow up now and become your own woman, even if that hurts her a little bit. Tell her you respect her opinions, but she needs to be able to let you make your own decisions now, and deal with the consequences of those decisions. And tell her that she's always raised you to be intelligent and respectful and hardworking and she has to trust that the work she did with you will help you be an independent woman capable of taking care of herself. Your mom loves you. You won't truly understand the depths of that love until you become a mother yourself someday. Until then, try to have patience and don't quit moving forward with your own life. You sound like a fine young woman and you're going to make your mother proud. Good luck!
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