about

First off that's my special man friend with me way back from high school, and been dating now for almost four years now. Yeah he's pretty spectacular, and I love him to pieces, and that's all I have to say about that. I'm a full time college student and working on my gen ed, but I would like to get my bachelor's in gerontology and eventually get my nursing license. In fact I work at a nursing home now as a CNA and I love it so much. Anyways ask questions if you want. I'll try to help you out anyway I can. I love helping people after all. :)

advice

My dad watches porn.... I know, like how creepy right? he is like old. what do old people want porn for? he is like 35!!

I found his porn and i have been looking at my dads porn. i think it is so gross that he watches porn when he is soooo old why is that? why is it ok for me but not for him?

17/f

It's fine for him. He has needs just as you do. And 35 is really not that old. Maybe you should talk this over with one another.

xoxo,
dottie4

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Is it ok to hide things in vagina? I feel stupid asking this but I have something I want to put up there but i am afraid it will go up into my body where i can't reach it anymore so is it possible to hide things in (up) your vagina or not? No it is not drugs!

THANK YOU!!!

What could possibly be that important that you need to hide something in your vagina?

xoxo,
dottie4

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15/f

I have a funeral coming up and I dont have anything to wear. Does anyone know where I can get a black dress for a funeral?

Funerals aren't usually big social events. Nobody will really be that focused on what your wearing. I'd suggest just going to a thrift store and picking something up. Just be sure to wash it really well.

xoxo,
dottie4

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Im nurvous on having my first kiss i dont know how 2 do it!!! Should it be when were walking 2 his house 2 study, or @ the movies???????





HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do it where your most comfortable. If your comfortable at the house do it there. If your comfortable at the movies do it there. Just make sure it's with someone you really like, then everything will fall into place.. you'll see.

xoxo,
dottie4

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and i feel like we're drifting apart. we have a good thing, and i really dont want it to end. but we havent had sex in a while, and we havent hung out in a bit either. i feel like somethings wrong, but when i ask him he says everything is fine

Well how long have you been dating him? If you've been dating for about a year, that's pretty typical. You just need to do some more exciting things. Go see a movie, go for a drive, maybe go on a picnic... I know it sounds dumb, but anything to liven things up a little.

xoxo,
dottie4

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I am feeling extremely depressed right now, because I think I might have screwed up my first date with a guy I really, really like...I think I may have come on too strong, and yet at the same time, I was so incredibly shy, I held back and probably made him feel like we weren't 'clicking'...he hasn't contacted me since the date, and I'm afraid maybe he's avoiding me...

It'll probably be fine. If he's worth it, he'll give you another chance. Most peoples first dates are awkward. And even if it doesn't work out you'll be fine, and find another guy you really like very soon.

xoxo,
dottie4

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okayy so i realize that this story sound ridiculously shallow and unimportant but please help me! so just to explain i am 16/f in highschool. in between 2 cliques. 1. that would b considered \"popular\" and 2. the other that is a little less but im closer with them. so about month ago i went to a killers concert, i was suposed to go with 2 of my friends from the 1st clique. but they canceled at the last minute and i went with 2 from clique 2. but then we saw other members of clique 1 there and it was awkward. so now there is a the fray concert and i wanted to go with 3 other my friends from the 1st clique., because they are big fans. but i asked one of them if they are going and there like \"yea im working on getting tickets\" not swuree if that means shes already going with somone. and the other two poeple r going togetther. theyt dont have tickets yet and shes like to me \"and we can all get ticekts\" or something like that, which im not sure if that means im going with them. i really really wanna go to this. but not with people from clique 2 because im trying to aviod the miley concert thing again. what do i do?? please help mee!

Just like do what you have to do. Go with the popular kids because like, don't you want to be popular? seesh....

xoxo,
dottie4

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im in a LDR. me and him have been having problems for the last two weeks and nothing seems to be getting better.
ill admit ive broken up with him alot, but alot has been out of anger and me being sad because he acts like he doesnt care.
most of the problems are because of him
and i always seem be getting the blame for it.
he has barely talked to me in the past week
and last saturday through monday he didnt talk to me becuase he "lost his phone at his friends house" i guess i believe that but i dont really know.
the whole distance thing is really hard on me but i love him so im going to deal with it because of that.
we have been fighting for the past two weeks. and ive told him soo many times that im sorry for breaking up with him like three times.
yesterday we were talking while i was at lunch for school and he said that i could send him pictures (if you know what kind i mean haha) and we could be even. so he told me he would tell me later that day what kinds he wants. later that night while he was at work i texted him and told him to text me or call me after work. he never did. and ive told him the same thing for the past three days. he never has.
when are relationship was good, he used to call me every night after work and we would fall asleep together on the phone. that hasnt happened in forever.
i miss everything so much. and i told him that yesterday when we were talking and he told me he doesnt believe me. ive never done anything for him to not trust me. all the stress on our relationship is because of him and i dont htink he gets that. he keeps blaming it on me and im not doing anything. if anything im caring too much and its making me so emotional. and if i ever tell him how i feel i like say the brutal truth and somehow it always ends up with us fighting and him getting mad at me. we never used to fight.

anyways. my point is, ive texted him so many times today and i havent gotten one text back. i dont know what to do. he told me he wants to be with me but he doesnt know what to do casue he is tired of me breaking up with him adn him getting hurt. i dont believe that though. hes never told me ive hurt him. and i think all of this blaming everything on me is a way of trying to tell me he doesnt want me anymore. and he told me we could talk for a while and then he could make his decision but were not together. right when i saw that i thought, yeah i know why. so you could hook up with other girls.

he wont text me back at all and i would call him but im pretty sure hes at work. i really want to call him tonight if he doesnt text me back but he works some weird hours so i dont want to call him whle hes at work. but i feel like im annoying if i always call and text him. i would spill my heart out in a text but i know im wasting my time becuase theres like a 2 percent chance he will text me back. he has changed so much and ive told him that and of course he got mad at me for saying that. he never used to be like that.
this is making me really sad and this guy means the world to me and i love him so much.

someone PLEASE tell me waht to do!

Sounds like both of you have issues in your relationship. Maybe you guys should meet up during the holidays or something. That way you could rekindle things in your relationship that have been lost. A lot of people need someone to physically be there for them. Maybe you and him are that type of person. I'm not going to bad mouth him or you. For one it sound though the feelings are sort of mutual. I would call him, he's your boyfriend. Leave a message on his phone. If he doesn't call you back, you know it's not meant to be.

xoxo,
dottie4

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Me and my ex are not together any more. She has had a bf for almost 2 yrs. we broke up shortly after I moved out of state. I now have moved back and we are talking again. We have been spending alot of time together. It started of with just going out driving then to movies then dinner. Just yesterday it went a little farther. We went to the mall and flirted alot. We came back to my house and started to watch a movie. She then asked fo a back rub. (for me its a turn on) Needless to say I got into it and turned on. I know what makes her get "hot" and I started to do those things. We played around had fun and I told her I like to get rough. Well lets get to the point. She got rough and we ended up kissing and she freaked out cuz she has a bf. well a lil later we were at it again. later in the day we kissed some more. We went to dinner and then drove around like we like to do. She told me how turned on she was and that he bf can't give her an orgasm. So I Fingered her and we then talked about wanting to have sex with each other. What do I do?!?!?! also another part of this is I have feelings for a good friend of mine but I really don't think that would work out but she is really mad that I am talking with my ex. y would she get mad like that if she says she has no feelings for me/? please help me

Your friend is probably mad at you regardless because what you did was wrong, you don't mess with other peoples girlfriend, even if it's your ex. I don't blame her for being upset. That's a long time to be with someone. You should tell the girl you fooled around with to tell her boyfriend, then maybe it can move on from there. Tell her to make a decision because this is wrong if you keep this up. He deserves to know, and if you still have feelings for the girl you should encourage her to tell him.

xoxo,
dottie4

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I am 16(female).
on October 8, 2008 I committed suicide by overdose. I remember being carefree, hyper, crazy, and most of all I felt emotions vividly. at the time I had an 18 year old boyfriend. I was a "navy brat" and had a childhood sweetheart back in the states, so while I was in out of america I decided not to take any relationships seriously. but after I thought my sweetheart had abandoned me for another, I found I had fallen in love with the 18yr old though he constantly used me. we were together again for a fourth time, and a week later he tells me he is going to be a father, a month before, he had apparently gotten a 26yr old woman pregnant. the pain was unbearable, I found myself alone in the world, and so I emptied and entire medicine cabinet into my stomach, mostly pain-killers, unopened bottles, and so, thousands of pills. but on a military base a hospital was close and I was found before I died, barley by minutes. I was told to drink a bottle of charcoal, the doctor said it was to take the pain, when it was actually to detoxify my body. I disobeyed the doctor because I was tired and fell asleep, I'd had a wonderful dream but awoke throwing up the charcoal, the nurse was in panic, my heart had stopped beating until I woke up, and though the dream lasted a whole night it seemed, I had only "slept" for 3 seconds, and in a death-like state. but the point to telling this story is that, when I woke up, I could not feel. I thought it may have been depression, but even weeks, months, and now more than a year, I still cannot feel emotion. I am back in the states and with my childhood sweetheart, and it is so strange that I just cannot feel, I can remember having a fiercing love for him, 6 years of it to be exact, but that is it, I can remember the feeling but not..feel. days have run into eachother it seems, time is slow but fast all at the same time and I feel nothing genuine. I was a thespian (actress) and so it is easy for me to wear a constant mask, all I have to do is remember how I was and put on an act. I used to be lazy and have bad grades, now I am quiet and make straight A's. I see the world from a whole different view, as if my body acts and I can see things but am nothing more than an empty shell, a souless wandering thing with a body that acts on its own. I wonder if one day, maybe after enough time has passed, that maybe I can feel emotions again and live. but it has been over a year... I am concerned..I know I love my childhood sweetheart/boyfriend, I can remember that clearly and have no plans on leaving his side. but it is still strange..I know he loves me..I know he falls for the mask I put on and doesnt know something is wrong..but I desperately want to feel again..to not wear a mask of my past and give to him the genuine love which he gives me. I have also found that I cannot seem to cry anymore either; I remember my pillows used to get replaced often because I cried so much that it ruined the material, but now, not a single tear. it is as if I am fading away slowly..something is very wrong with me and I don't know what..I want my soul back..I want to be able to feel again... is there anybody else who can relate to this absence of emotion?

It sounds like your confused and don't really know what you want. You've been through a lot so it's pretty typical for you to have emotions such as these. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist. This is something way far out there that even people on advicenators can't help you with completely. If you go to therapy it'll give you a secure place to speak to somebody about all your issues. They can offer you coping mechanisms when you have feelings such as these Tell your parents you need to get therapy. I'm sure they'll allow it.

xoxo,
dottie4

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19\f
Okay so i used to eat a lot! like i used to love food to death! and i never use to get fat that was the best part but the thing is lately these past 2 weeks i haven't been eating much at all..when i look at food i just get disgusted..ill be dead hungry and ill just take a bite and im done..i need help i dont kno whats going on?? i need help asap cuz i wanna eat again!

You really should tell someone, like your grandparents. Someone you love and trust. They will probably suggest you see a doctor. If you don't do something soon, you could end up with an eating disorder.

xoxo,
dottie4

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I believe in love. What I don't believe in is that people these days even know what true love is. I've asked some people to give me one couple that is happy and none of them could tell me any. No one is happy these days. No one wants to do anything to change that either. I mean when I go to the doctors or anywhere people are so bitter because their obviously not happy doing what their doing. I mean my parents always say I need to go to college and get good grades and stuff. I know I should go to college and I need to to get a good job, but what if I want to be happy? I want to travel, and have fun, and be happy doing what i'm doing with whoever i'm with. Am I wrong? It seems to me like everyone has given up on trying to be the best that they can be, on being happy, on true love, doing the job they WANT to be doing. I just want to know your oppinion on the subject.

Well for one with the economy people aren't picky about jobs. It's hard for people to be happy nowadays. Especially with the state the economy is. Millions of people don't have health care. If your sick and can't go to the doctor, that will affect your happiness. And yes I believe love exists. I love my family very much. My parents have been married for almost 30 years and are still deeply in love. They still like to cuddle on the couch and call each other all the time just to say they love each other. More and more jobs are being shipped off to third world countries. That will certainly affect one's happiness too. I know many many people's jobs who moved overseas or layed off and have lost their homes, and their families. It's hard for people to be happy these days. If you have the opportunity to go to college, I would go for it. You will definitely not regret it.

xoxo,
dottie4

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A month ago I was masterbating and I started to bleed some. I thought my period came so I wore a pad but I didn't keep bleeding. I have never had sex or anything and it was my first time trying to masterbate. I heard about masturbation a lot and thought that it might be good but it was kind of so-so, I guess. Anyway, I told my friend about the blood and she told me that I probably popped my cherry. Can you really break your hymen by masterbation though?

Yes.

xoxo,
dottie4

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So, last night I was at a party without my boyfriend. My boyfriend was home sick, actually, and he said I should totally go to the party anyway without him. Well, I ended up giving this really hott guy a blowjob. My friend was totally telling me that my boyfriend was going to dump me because I was giving another guy head. Is giving someone else a blow job cheating? I haven't told my boyfriend because now I'm afraid he's going to get mad and break up with me. I don't want him to dump me. So, what is the definition of cheating in a relationship? Did I cheat? Should I tell him?

Anything sexual with another guy is cheating. Yes you should tell him. He probably will break up with you, and frankly I don't blame him.

xoxo,
dottie4

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Hello everyone,
so, im bored with my relatonship. I wanna break it off, but at the same time, i do love this guy, and i want to remain friends. This just seems so hard, becasue the way he talks about his ex's is scary, he hates them. ALSO-- i have been hearing that he is cheating on me, he says ha hasnt, i wanna beleive him, but i know he has a past of it, so idk what to do... I also like someone else, that likes me to, i have liked him for 3 years, and he has liked me to. help?

Just tell him you don't want to go out with him anymore. But I'm not sure he'll want to stay friends. A lot of people are funny about those type of things. I would at least give it a month before you start dating the other guy.

xoxo,
dottie4

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How do you tell a guy that you don't like him? I want to tell this guy that I'm not interested in him but I don't want to be mean about it. He's just not my type and I don't know what to say to let him know that he needs to stop pursuing me. How do you tell a guy you don't like him and you're just not interested?

Just be straight up with him. I don't think it's being mean. Just pull him away in private and tell him your not interested. I'm sure he'll leave you alone.

xoxo,
dottie4

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My boyfriend calls me every night and I absolutely love talking to him but I don't know what to talk about any more. It seems like we've talked about most things and I don't want to sound stupid and repeat myself over and over. I also try not to talk about sex because we both want to wait until we're married (maybe to each other in the future even, which would be so awesome!). I need some really good topics to talk to him on the phone about.

So, what are some topics you talk about on the phone with your boyfriend? ANYTHING is appreciated!

The conflict in the middle east is one. Anything involving politics, and the economy is what I talk about. Ask about his family, where he grew up, how things were. How school was, work. Talk about global warming, endangered species such as the manatee and polar bear. Maybe the new cars coming out such as the hybrid models coming out. Movies that you both like, tv shows, weather, religon, advicenators,music, your relationship and how much you like him. There's tons of things.

xoxo,
dottie4

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idk if i am in love how do you know if you are??? helpp

When you don't have to ask other people if you are.

xoxo,
dottie4

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Okay well me and my boyfriend just made 11 months yesterday , and I been doing so good I haven't cheated on him or done anything bad , because Im really in love with him . And like I became nicer and sweeter and more understanding with him , I mean I still gotta work on my anger a lil bit , and I have to try to look past the things he does that just gets me mad , like when we talk on da phone I hate to hear people eating in my ear that really bothers me , and I hate to hear people smack there gum . And he does that and my mom says im going to find that cute , but I dnt , but im trying to work on that , like im being really serious with this realationship now . Do you think he notices .

Oh gosh I hate when people do that. Especially if they put the phone really close to their mouth. It hurts my ears. Your mom was probably joking around. Just tell him you really don't appreciate when he does that and to please stop. If he wants to eat or chew gum, tell him to tell you so he can get off the phone with you and call you back when hes done. I'm sure he's all the effort your putting into it. Especially if you've been dating 11 mths.

xoxo,
dottie4

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Just to warn you guys, this is gonna be long.
15/f
On tuesday me and my boyfriend broke up. On tuesday night we were emailing eachother and he told me that i wasn't listening to him and that the point of the convorsation was not to break up, but to tell me he didn't think we were in love yet. I know this is not true because the first thing he said was 'i know this might come as a suprise to you, but i don't see us going far in a relationship'. Sounds like a breakup to me. He told me i was the most amazing thing and that he wanted another chance. i told him i didn't know and that i'd talk to him at school on wednesday. Meanwhile i was emailing a few of his friends and they told me that he broke up with me because he wanted to ask this girl paige out. Apparently he tried some wierd scheme to make paige breakup with her boyfriend but it backfired and thats why he came back to me. So then wednesday came around and he was waiting by my locker to talk. i said hey but then didn't say anything immediately. He stood there for no more than 20 seconds while i put my bag in my locker and he said 'well i guess your too any to talk so i guess i'll just leave you alone'. Then he didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Now his friends are calling me and telling me there are several people he wants to ask out. But he keeps emailing me saying that he really cares about me and that they're lying. He says he only wants me and would never lie. Today is thursday and i was sick today and can't go back to school until monday. I'm scared he really is going to ask out these girls while im not around. I want him back to but i don't wanna be to late. I also don't know if i should take him back. I trust him, but i don't think so many people would lie about something. Anyone have any ideas?
XXXOOO,
Lonely_girl

Umm... This guy sounds like a real loser. The fact that he would have his friends call you shows how much of a loser he really is. If you get involved with him again, it will be nothing but misery. He will probably cheat on you. It sounds like he really doesn't know what he wants. I know it hurts, but you'll realize your better off. He definitely wouldn't be doing you any favors if you got back with him. Your only 15, you have plenty of time to find the right person. Just have fun and date around. Believe me, you'll be happy you did.

xoxo,
dottie4

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