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A little background info, met my current boyfriend in September. Dated from then and made it official in November. During the dating time we both said we weren't seeing/talking to anyone else. During this time he went on a trip out of state and had sex with one of his best girl friends. The night he got back, we had sex and he asked me out officially. I was unaware of the fact he slept with his girl friend I actually just found out last night from a mutual friend. Not to mention he has slept with 2 other girl friends. All these girls are still around and they all hang out regularly. I feel so gross, I know we were not officially together when he slept with them but the one on the trip bothers me since we got together the day he was back from the 4 day trip. By the way, he doesn't know I know about him sleeping with his female friends and I can't bring it up without getting a mutual friend in trouble. Just don't know how to feel or if I should even bring it up? (link)
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People see cheating differently and in different ways.
Either way, you do have every right to feel hurt and betrayed. I mean it isn't exactly right to be talking to a guy who then goes on a trip and has sex with one of his girl friends when before that, he tells you he's not talking to anyone.
So you are allowed to feel that way because it's actually kinda wrong of him. Just because you weren't official, doesn't mean that you couldn't thought he only had feelings and desires for you. You wouldn't expect him to go off and have sex with someone else.
Anyways, I'd bring it up.
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Im 13/f and im 92 pounds but i would really like to loose 10 pounds.. What is the easiest way to do this? (link)
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We aren't doctors. I have no idea how much you should weigh, so I can't really help much.
The easiest way to lose weight is a stupid way to lose weight. Find a good, healthy way to lose weight. Exercise and eat right. Avoid soda, candy and chips. Exercise 3 days a week and eat 3 or more meals a day.
At 13, you shouldn't even worry about losing weight. So don't obsess over it.
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13/f
My boyfriend and I haven't talked for the past week.. I tried texting him but he won't reply.. I can't meet up with him or anything like that bc I'm not allowed to date..but my friend said hat he was thinking about breaking up with me but then he said he loved me to much to let me go.. and I really like him. And I don't know what to do and I don't want to mess things up with him.. We have been dating for a month (link)
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Who knows what's really going on in his mind. If he's not responding, there is not much you can do until you can talk to him.
There isn't really anything to mess up. He's the one who isn't talking to you.
He seems to be really young right? Around your age? Young boys aren't really great at being boyfriends and they don't really understand it all the time. It's immature to avoid these kinds of things. If he doesn't want to be with you anymore, he needs to man up and say it instead of avoiding you. Anyways, boys are boys.
I think all you can do is wait.
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Hi i am 17 my boyfriend is 22 do u feel it is ok but we start talking when i was at the age of 14 an he was 19 (link)
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At this point it's up to you. I don't see it as wrong. When you were 14 and he was 19, that is really weird and kinda creepy. But at 17 year old and a 22 year old, I don't really see it as a problem.
Laws are different in each state though.
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Soo...im 13, and my boyfriend is 14. We have been dating.for 5 months, and he wants to now become 'sexually active'. I do too its just that i know its not right. And its not him...its my body. I would love to become active with him...but, idk what to do during it. Help?!?? (link)
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Well, I'm not going to advise you on having sex with him only because I believe that it's not the right time for you.
Not only because you are 13 but because you already know you aren't ready.
When you're ready to have sex, you won't be having doubts and you would understand sex completely.
I understand that you want to become sexually active with him. Lots of young people do and that's why there are so many young pregnant girls.
I'm sure you don't want to have a child any time soon, and that's why I think you should wait.
The other reason, is that your body isn't ready for sex. At age 13, you are still growing. If you have sex with him now, it will hurt so much and you will not enjoy it.
Wait until you are older to become sexually active with someone. It really is a big deal and you've only been dating this guy for 5 months. It hasn't been very long so just wait it out. If he loves you or cares for you, he will understand that you aren't ready.
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i realy lovemy boyfriend and he loves me more than i do.i really want to let him take my virginity becase hes the one i love.he never ask me for sex.but i really want to do it with him.hes gonna use a condom and he always tell me that he wants me to be his baby mother and his wife.i want to get pregnant for him because hes always there for me.we've been togeter for 7 months now,if i get pregnant i know he will be there for me and the baby no matter what....anyways i really want an good advice what shoulhd i do.nd i'm from
barbados (link)
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So if you really love him, why can't you wait?
He might be a really good guy but at your age, you shouldn't rush these kinds of things.
In the future, I'm sure he would like you to be his wife and mother his child but right now? Why would you risk that?
If you get pregnant, he may stick around, he may not. Even if you do get pregnant and he stays, does he have a job? Do you have a job? How will you afford a child? Your parents can't take care of it for you. I'm sure he'll be there for you but take care of the child with food, bottles, diapers. Children are very expensive.
Then you both will be putting off your education. You won't be able to afford an education when you have a kid. Having a child makes life so much more complicated.
So if you love him, then wait. Don't have sex and risk losing everything.
Plus, you've only been together for 7 months. It's not very long.
At 13, your body is still developing. It will hurt like crazy if you do it now.
Not only that, you could suffer emotionally. Sex is a very important, emotional thing. If you do it, it can take a huge toll on your life.
If you want to be his wife one day, wait to do this. At least for a couple years, if he loves you, he won't mind.
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Hi im 14.. and confused like crazy. Ive been dating my bf for 6 months now and i heard that he kissed some other girl and was being unfaithful to me. He tells me how beautiful i am and that he really likes me and nice things like that. Can you believe he doesnt even kiss me no more!!! Its been like 3 months now. We hangout with each other alot but i dont think i trust him now more. Please help.. thanks (link)
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Don't break up with him until you know that he has kissed another girl. You need to talk to him. Just because he hasn't kissed you doesn't mean that he has kissed someone else.
People can say anything, it doesn't mean it's true. If you believe everything people say, then you'll be alone forever.
So right now, you need to see if you trust him. Talk to him and give him the benefit of the doubt. Don't accuse him of anything, just ask because people have told you that. Until you have proof that he did that, I don't see why you should leave him.
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I recently broke up with this guy, who ignored me and never spent any time with me. we went out for 4 months, we only kissed that's all.
But now his best friend really likes me and I reallylike him, I always did but I thought he hated me.
The problem is, the best friend guy has an older brother, who I kissed 7 months ago at a party, like it was only silly and a joke kinda, but still..
I'm really reluctant coz of this, but would it be super inappropriate if we went out? I just don't want everyone to tease me or hate me if its slutty (link)
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It wouldn't make you a slut. If people call you a slut because you kissed his older brother 7 months ago and it was a joke then they don't exactly know what the definition of a slut is.
I don't see it as inappropriate either. It's not like you dated his older brother. It was a kiss that was a joke.
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So I get extremely nervous around my crushes. Always have and it gets REALLY bad the more I like them. Theres this one guy that I used to like that just passing them in the hallways Id get all hot and nervous and couldnt talk right. I know its normal to get nervous but it just becomes so unbearable that I can't even talk or look them in the eye or I just avoid them so I dont have to deal with feeling that way. And I hate it so much and I dont want that I wanna be able to look them in the eye and have good convos w/ them and not feel incredibly hot and stupid and ugly and that I dont have to feel like the only way I can kiss someone is if im drunk or something idfk. Just please help, how can I be normal and do things other ppl can without feeling like im a piece a shit and without having to get all red and hot and nervous and all that? Btw im 15 and I guess you can say im self conscious..really self conscious most of the times..and I'm pretty sure my crush likes me too but still I just get so nervous and for some reason I feel even more self conscious cause I know theyre paying attention to me more and ugh I just need help. And ik I should face my fears and all that but again the self conscious thing. I feel stupid when I talk and I feel like im ugly and just shitty and its horrible aghh help:( (link)
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Ok, so at least you know what your problem is. It's insecurity and lack of self confidence. So that's what you need to work on. Obviously, it's easier said than done but as long as you try, you'll get better and start loving yourself. I mean the guy already notices you right?
First, don't compare yourself to other people.
Don't criticize yourself.
Try to accept every compliment you get. Don't brush it off as stupid. Try to see them as genuinely meant.
You have to keep reminding yourself this all the time until it actually changes how you feel.
Start writing down things you accomplish.
Then start doing things you love. Find things you are good at. People become more themselves when they are doing things they love. It just naturally increases your self confidence.
This might be extremely corny but just be you. But honestly, you have one life and if you don't do what you want to do or be what you want to be, then you just miss out.
While working with your insecurities, be patient. Start slowly and they will go away soon.
Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
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Hello I`m 13 years old and there is this guy(he is 14) and we really have a connection...we arn`t dating but we r touching and showing each other parts of our body...well i grabb him alot and he grabs me...we are at the fingering stage and before he fingers me i want to give him a boneur...I`ve made feel well a llil horny but i want to give him a bunour help me
ohh and please dont say nything about our age evn tho we have talked about having sex we are smart enough not to do it with out protection and we really like each other thanks a million:)))!
from:Ready4LoveButScared (link)
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I don't exactly understand your question.
First of all, you guys really like each other but aren't dating? But you guys are touching each other and becoming sexually active? Regardless how old you are, it's not right.
Why mess around with a guy who isn't even dating you?
Well honestly, no one here is going to give you advice on being sexual with him. Only because you are really young and it wouldn't be right for someone to try to tell you how to do things like this.
I think first, before you start going further, you need to stop and think about all this. I do believe you really like him and you can't really go off what he says to you to believe he really likes you. You should first get to know him better, if he doesn't want to do that, you know he only wants sex. I mean he is a young teenage boy you know?
But if he does agree to hold off on messing around for awhile to see where you both stand, then fine, he's a good guy. Then start dating and see where that takes you. You will enjoy messing around with him more if you move slow and you both are together, trust me.
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So i am 17 and a Junior in high school. I never really have had an official boyfriend because i am so picky. I have known this guy for 4 years and he is a really close friend, just this year I started to develop feelings for him he says he has had a "crush" on me since freshman year. He is very physical, he is always wanting to do more and more but i always say no because we aren't dating, but he lacks emotion BECAUSE he is also talking to this freshman in college which he is obsessed with but she pretty much plays him. Just yesterday i was getting to just end whatever we have but he started being really sweet and i told him he needs to choose, he said he didn't know who he would choose then he was like "you know i love you right and it wasn't for her i would be dating you" and i just rolled my eyes and he said "i swear to god i do." I just don't know why he is doing this to me and i don't know what is going on through his head. Help me understand?? Thank you. (link)
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Why is he doing this to you? Because he thinks he can have more than he can get.
What's going on in his head? He wants to mess around and he wants sex.
I really believe you deserve more than this guy. He does not love you. If he loved you, he would be with you and not talking to another girl. He's saying all this so that he can keep messing around with you. You can't keep doing things with him because it will never make him become your boyfriend. He's going to keep messing around with you, and keep talking to the other girl.
No good girl deserves a guy who says, "If it wasn't for her, I would be dating you." It was extremely rude and that is so wrong.
If he doesn't choose you, he doesnt love you. It shouldn't even be an option. If he really loved you, he wouldn't even be thinking of being with the other girl.
Stop talking to him and show him that you are better than this. You don't deserve to be second choice, ever. Find a better, respecting guy who wants to be with you and will treat you right. You deserve that.
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13/F
I had a headache about 4 hours ago, but it disappeared about an hour later. Then, 2 hours later, I got one again! My head hurts really bad. What do I do? I can't take pills (Don't have any and I can't get any), so... What? This hurts really bad. (link)
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Headaches can be caused by many things. If you really can't go see a doctor or take any medication then try relaxing. You could be dehydrated, so drink lots of water. You could even get headaches from not eating or not eating the right kinds of food. So eat some healthy food. Try relaxing because it can be caused by stress. Take a bath, or lay down and take a wet towel and lay it on your head. You could even get an ice pack or take a little towel and put some ice in it and put it on your head.
Good luck, I hope you feel better.
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My boyfriend ia always saying that he wants to die that his going to kill himself should I be woried and talk to him.what should I say to him? (link)
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You should talk to him. You should also talk to his parents and even try to encourage him to go talk to someone about this. It's better to fix this now than to wait and hope things will get better.
Make it clear you love him and you will do anything to help him. You definitely should be worried because he could possibly take his own life. He needs to get help.
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I love this boy and I have never loved someone before him, I know he doesn't feel the same way how can I stop loving him? (link)
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You don't really just stop loving someone over night. It takes time. This kind of thing happens to almost everyone. Many people have been through this. You just need to move on with your life. You need to find other things to do than think about him. Go out with your friends, take up hobbies, read, ect. Don't talk to him either. You won't get over someone if you continue to talk to them.
It takes time but eventually you will move on and find someone who will love you too.
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So I am 17 years old and i have been dating this guy for 6 months. All we have done is make out, he is a very horny guy and he always wants to do more and more. He wants to do everything, i think im nervous because i don't want him to think I'm bad at it. I am nervous about giving him a blow job because i have never done that before, and i am nervous about sex i just want to please him but i want to be good at it too. any advice as to what i should do?? (link)
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Of course you want to please him and be good at it but you don't owe him that. Just tell him you aren't ready and you when you are ready, you will let him know. If he brings it up again, he doesn't sound like a good guy. He wants more than you can give him and it's not right of him to pressure you.
I was with a guy like this when I was 16 and 17. He kept saying making out wasn't enough for him anymore and he wanted more. If you do more with him, you won't feel good or happy about it.
To start getting to sexual things, you both need to really trust each other and feel comfortable with each other.
Right now, you aren't ready. You're nervous because you think he might think you are bad at it. When you become comfortable with a person you are in a relationship with, you don't have to be nervous about being bad at it because you know they won't care. They love you and whether you are good or bad, it won't matter to them.
Just wait to do all this stuff until you are actually ready.
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Hi I'm starting to get worried about my best friend and we're both in middle school. He has such a big heart but he has been bullied since kindergarden and I am starting to get worried about him. He has told me he thinks life stinks and he has stopped believing in happy endings and he wants to die. What if he tries/does something stupid? I have already told him how much he means to me and that I will always be here for him no matter what but I often find him putting himself down. He has told me that his brother is always picking on him or beating him up. Please help me! I really care about him and I can't stand seeing him so hard on himself all the time. What do I do about him? (link)
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You need to sit down and talk to him. Tell him to go talk to somebody because if this keeps going on and he keeps feeling down and saying he wants to die, he may go through with it.
I don't know how old you are but after you talk to him, you should probably go tell someone about what's going on and that you are worried about him.
You don't want to wait and see if things get better because what if they don't?
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My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a year now, I've been having car troubles so I do not have a car at the moment. We're both in college and I commute to campus when I had a car,but now since he lives near campus and usually bus to classes I've been staying with him. He also does not have a car. So I've been staying at his place-eating, sleeping, showering, studying etc.
Lately I've been feeling like he wants space because he always come home late..late..later. At the moment he isn't back yet because he wanted to watch one of his frat bros set up his computer. I feel like every time I bring up the fact that I think he wants space, he somehow turns it around and then I end up feeling bad, mad and then we go for a couple of days without speaking to each other. A few days go by and then we're fine. It's been happening almost every week now. I've been going home on the weekends just so he has his "own" time..away from me I guess. I just don't know how I feel about him or the situation. I'm just annoyed that we go around and around in circles with this. I just want him to be honest and tell me maybe I shouldn't be at his place all the time.
The other day, I got really offended and annoyed when he commented that it't not his job to feed me. When in fact I'm always the one paying for our groceries or bill when we have take-out and he has no complaints then. Little things like that bothers me alot. I'm having second thoughts on why we are together, I just feel like he doesn't appreciate me. He would rather spend his time with his frat bros or playing video games and I think I'm now realizing maybe we're not meant for each other...
or maybe I'm over thinking this...all of it. blah (link)
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The hard part on this is that he doesn't talk to you about how he is feeling on all of this.
Honestly, you can't keep going in circles with being mad at each other and not speaking. It's not the right or smart thing to do, it can even be immature to ignore the problems instead of facing it. You already know this and you do want it to stop.
You need to sit down and talk to him. Explain how you're feeling. Don't get mad and don't talk at him. Just talk to him and speak calmly and carefully. If he says something that bothers you, don't fight or argue back. That is one of the hardest things to do in a relationship. It's so much easier to defend your side than to try to talk it out.
You need to make sure that you tell him that this is really bothering you and you want to fix it.
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there is a huge back story so I'll just bullet point in the chronological sequence of events however before that, I am M and was 16 when this happened.
1. I found out the person(lets name her X) I liked got an anonymous card for valentines day
2. I told my best friend that I liked X
3. Next day, best friend said He liked X and then told me he was the one who sent the card to X when I queried if he knew who sent the card.
4. I talked to X, if she knew who was the person who sent the card (since I know), she said no, she said she could 'wait'
5. I asked X a week later, about the card issue, turns out my best friend and X have already started going out secretly and privately for like a week after I found out best friend liked her. and they said they didnt want anyone to know and it was my best friend's Idea. (So B.P 4 was an act)
6. They both lied to me for a week, and thought their acting skills could last their whole relationship.
7. X actually already told heaps of people before I knew, so why am I left out, and i believe that B.F told X I also liked her.
8. BF has lied to me occasionally on important events before
9. I wasn't actually into her as much since the highschool courses are important for tertiary courses, and i knew being in a relationship would distract me. However my main issue is TRUST.
My question is "Should I trust the two of them again?"
My current stance is: No, B.F lied many times. X Followed B.F mindlessly, but even still, told her whole year level, apart from her close friends. So X followed like a sheep against me but also betrayed B.F by spreading it to the year level. But my way of knowing is simply reason and logic, not emotion, authority or morals (link)
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It seems like they were trying to spare your feelings. Did you ask them why they lied to you about this?
The reason why you were probably left out was because your friend could have told her you liked her, so she didn't want to tell you.
So honestly, the trusting thing is up to you. If you feel like you can trust them again, then go ahead, be friends with them.
If you do decide to be friends with them, you have to forgive them. You can't hold what they did against them.
If you feel like you can't trust them, then just let it all go.
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I have a baby and with this man and once was in love and I just don't feel anything when he kisses me or when we talk but I do care for him we was going to get married but it kept getting cancelled we don't fight really but heres the thing this guy I have known for years we got together before I got with who I'm with now and we really had something crazy we felt like it could have been love at first sight but then he had to go away for 3 years and we just started talking again and all the feelings came back that fast and I let the one I'm with know everything and he said he will change and the other one won't give up its like a Bella Edward Jacob thing lol should I stay and try to fall back in love with the man I made a family with or do I go with the unknown and the possibility of love at first sight but with more passion then most can dream about remember I have a home a baby what should I do I'm so lost im 24 they are both really good guys the one I'm with wants to make our family work the other wants to start a family with me and love my son as one of his own what should I do this is so hard (link)
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It doesn't sound like anything is really wrong in your current relationship other than you wanting another man. What I would do before you call it quits, go to counseling. I mean, this whole thing can't be just about you anymore since you have a child. For the kids sake, try again and see what happens. If you truly aren't happy with this man anymore, then ok, move on. But right now, I suggest you try.
If you do give up on this guy and go for the other one, what if you aren't happy with him eventually? What if your crazy feelings don't last you very long? You don't want to be running back and forth. It's not fair to him either.
So I suggest before you make the decision to leave, go try talking things out and see what happens. During this time, don't continue talking to the other guy.
I hope everything works out for you.
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I have this friend, let's call her Ace. Well, Ace and I have known each other since we were toddlers. She moved away for two years in elementary school and we were both devastated, but she ended up coming back and we reconnected. We've been friends ever since... Or at least that's what I thought until a couple years ago when she and I went on a road trip and spent three days together.
I couldn't take it anymore. I started to notice things she did that annoyed me to no end. She would cry if she didn't get what she wanted, she would ignore me when I was talking, she would act like a child and embarrass me. She also started dating this guy who is the stereotypical "Men are better than women, get used to it" kinda guy. And she says he's changed, but I really doubt it. He doesn't seem like the type to change just because someone made a complaint. And I wasn't the only one who told her that this guy was rude. All our other friends agreed and she only got angry with us and told us we didn't understand her love or something like that. I'm honestly getting sick and tired of her and she's one of the friends that, since high school graduation, I do not want to have as a friend anymore. Unfortunately, I'm having trouble... dispersing this friendship. I don't want to be mean about it, and she's really clingy since we've been friends for so long, but since our road trip, I'm seeing sides of her I never noticed before and are now becoming a bit of a nuisance.
And she expects us to spend more time together and is planning a get together this weekend, and because I was a stupid idiot that didn't want to hurt her feelings, I told her I'd go. I really don't know what to do. How can I do this without hurting her feelings? And should I go to this thing this weekend and just kind of pretend or should I just cancel? This is really hard for me because I'm a people pleaser (a trait I hate about myself), so I'm not sure what to do... (link)
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I understand the whole people pleaser and trying to keep everyone happy.
Honestly, this is something you know you have to do for yourself. When she realizes that you don't want to be her friend anymore, she's going to be hurt and most likely mad.
You can go if you want to the weekend thing but that part is all up to you. If you really don't want to go, then don't.
I would just gradually stop talking to her, hanging out with her, ect.
I know you don't want to hurt her feelings, but after reading about how she is, she probably will be hurt and very mad. She might also talk about you and who knows but this is about you and why hang out with someone who makes who feel miserable?
Just stop hanging out with her, you don't have to be rude or mean or anything. When you see her every so often, you can be kind but that doesn't mean you have to be her friend.
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