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is it cheating if...
A little background info, met my current boyfriend in September. Dated from then and made it official in November. During the dating time we both said we weren't seeing/talking to anyone else. During this time he went on a trip out of state and had sex with one of his best girl friends. The night he got back, we had sex and he asked me out officially. I was unaware of the fact he slept with his girl friend I actually just found out last night from a mutual friend. Not to mention he has slept with 2 other girl friends. All these girls are still around and they all hang out regularly. I feel so gross, I know we were not officially together when he slept with them but the one on the trip bothers me since we got together the day he was back from the 4 day trip. By the way, he doesn't know I know about him sleeping with his female friends and I can't bring it up without getting a mutual friend in trouble. Just don't know how to feel or if I should even bring it up?
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Listen, this guy is obviously no good for you! he sleeps around not for love but for pleasure. Something tells me you really like the attention he gives you and not actually sure what to think about him as a person. You like the idea of him because he's into you. This isn't a real relationship. You need to be with someone that not only treats you right, but also to have a relationship with someone that you know will not cheat. because honestly, thats just simply wrong. Your friend told you for a reason! You dont even need to tell this guy why you dont want to be with him. Just simply say you made a mistake and you would just rather be friends. In the end its your choice. but really, this relationship wont do you any good if you continue it. there will just be another accident waiting to happen! i wish you the best of luck!
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People see cheating differently and in different ways.
Either way, you do have every right to feel hurt and betrayed. I mean it isn't exactly right to be talking to a guy who then goes on a trip and has sex with one of his girl friends when before that, he tells you he's not talking to anyone.
So you are allowed to feel that way because it's actually kinda wrong of him. Just because you weren't official, doesn't mean that you couldn't thought he only had feelings and desires for you. You wouldn't expect him to go off and have sex with someone else.
Anyways, I'd bring it up.
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He lead you on by not telling you he was with/ seeing anyone else. ( even if he wasn't technically seeing her) he still had sexual relations.
I think it's a bit sketchy that he would have sex with someone then come home like nothing happened and have sex with you? Uh uh.. he's a duece.
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i think that you have the right to feel offended, and betrayed. even though you aren't officially "together" he shouldn't be fooling around with his girl-friends. especially the fact that he was fooling around with you. i honestly don't know how to tell you to approach the situation, but i hope this makes your thoughts clear up a little bit. 13/f
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Often, trying to define 'cheating' is the wrong way to go about this problem.
Cheating is about betrayal of trust. Although he might not have asked you out "officially", you did have an reasonably fair expectation he wasn't with anyone else. He did let you down and it's fair for you to feel hurt.
Although I understand not wanting to get your mutual friend in trouble, you can't just go on pretending nothing has happened, and your mutual friend would be insane to expect that of you. If they didn't want it to come out that they told you this, then they shouldn't have told you in the first place.
So ask him about it.
Or dump him without telling him why.
You know you can't go on pretending everything is okay.
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