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Gender:

Female

Location:

Kansas

Occupation:

House wife, Mother, Local Loon

Age:

35

Member Since:

July 15, 2006

Answers:

3333

Last Update:

March 11, 2013

Visitors:

124840

Favorite Columnists

hitler_the_goat

about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.

Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.

Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.

advice

SO i just joined a gym and i want to start using the weights to get my chest and arms more "buff". Whats workout equipment should I use?

If you don't hear from Evolution, ask him in his inbox. He is a Certified Fitness Trainer, and he can give you GREAT work out advice. :)

Here is his column link: http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=Evolution

ygs-29/f

Honestly I'm a pretty confident person.. i get a lot of compliments being pretty and having a nice body... (not being cocky just telling the truth) but theres one thing I'm really self confident about. My boobs are like the one thing that I just can't take.. I know i shouldn't care but like I think I'm done growing and it really scares me because of the fact that i think my boobs are so ugly right now that it makes me almost never want to like have sex in my life hahaha. well probably not but you know what i meen..

I meen i don't care if my boobs are big or not really i just don't like how mine aren't full at all they're sort of pointy and not perky at all.. they're not round like what a typical boob is .. sorry if im too in detail.. I honestly don't think im growing anymore which im mad about because ive had my period for 4 years and my boobs never hurt anymore only rarely when i have my period =[. Another thing i dont like is that my nipples seem to be not the same size.. is that normal??
Is there any way i can be growing anymore.. and how come my boobs aren't filling out they're just like that..

" Breasts go through five "stages" of growth over the next five to six years, until their full maturity is reached by age 17 or 18." [After you start your period.]

From: http://www.teengrowth.com/index.cfm?action=info_article&ID_article=1320

You don't say how old you are, but sounds like you have another year or two to grow. So just give it some more time before you start thinking you are disfigured or something.

You know, to be quite honest, I think the majority of the female population is unhappy with the way their breasts look for one reason or another. So you aren't alone.

ygs-29/f

P.S. Don't worry about your nipples. I HIGHLY doubt there is any guy out there who is going to examine your breasts like artwork or something. Most guys just think "BOOBS! BOOBS! (insert drool here)" Besides, everything should be evened out by the time the growth is complete.

If it becomes too worrisome for you, check with your doctor for an exam.

ygs

okay i like this guy and he likes me back and he knows that and we're not going out because my parents said i cant date till 18 and i told him to wait till 2 years and he said he will and stuff but then at the same time he said he cant wait because he likes me too much and i told him to wait till 2 years and stuff but then my friends said we're acting like we're bf and gf but then hes getting more clingy everyday and today when he was dropping me off to my class he gave me a hug and HE KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK and i didnt like it even though i like him why is that? and i dont know what to do anymore because he got more clingy and stuff help please?

You probably didn't like it because he has crossed the line you drew in the sand. You told him he has to wait 2 years, yet he is acting like a boyfriend. He is disrespecting your feelings on the matter.

You need to talk to him. Tell him you can't be having this sort of huggy, kissy, lovey-dovey, clingy type relationship with him, or anyone, until you are 18 years old. He needs to either A) respect that, or B) move on.

I mean, if he continues this behavior and making you feel uncomfortable, you aren't going to WANT to date him in 2 years.

He needs to give you some space. Out of respect.

ygs-29/f

OK, so I'm 18/m,

Here's my problem, me and my gf are in a long distance relationship. Thing is we love each other but the distance is hurting the both of us and she's still in school. Now, pretty soon here I have some time off and I want to surprise her and show up and do something nice for her. Only problem is that I'm tapped for ideas. Any help would be awesome.

Thanks in advance.

P.S. All answers will be rated.

Well, I think the surprise of showing up to spend time with her is as nice as it gets.
Well, having a pretty bouquet of flowers in tow adds an additional nice touch.
We women folk can be easy to please in that way. Surprising us with a visit in a long distance relationship- that shows us how much he cares. No need to bring diamond earrings or expensive tennis bracelets. "Oh my God! I'm so glad to see you! Thanks for coming! Those flowers for me? Oh, they are so lovely! Thank you!"

Make sense?

ygs-29/f

I have two groups of people that I like to sit with at lunch- my best friend and a bunch of our guy friends, and these other girls, that I only met this year (I just started high school, and they went to the other feeder school). The problem is, my best friend gets all huffy if I don't sit with her, and then doesn't talk to me for a day or two. But if I sit with her all the time, then I'm afraid that my friendship will fail with the other girls, since I haven't known them very long (my best friend and I have been bff's since third grade.) So, what do I do?

I can understand wanting to branch out with new friends, but if it will damage your friendship with your best friend, is sharing lunch with the other's worth that? Then again, you can't have a friend who is going to throw fits in order to keep you all to herself, either. That isn't fair to you.
Have you tried sitting with the different groups every other day so all have a fair turn with sharing their lunch hour with you?
You need to sit down with your friend and tell her your feelings on this, and listen to hers. Try to do this privately, not at school among friends and classes. Invite her over for a sleep over? Ensure her that though you want to make friends with these other girls, she is still your best friend.

ygs-29/f

i was wondering what people thought about student and teacher in a relationship. what do you think about it?

Well, first and foremost (and most important) it is illegal.

What do I think about it? I think it is wrong.
A teacher is a role model, not a lover. Sure, kids get infatuated with different teachers and what not, but for a teacher to act upon that is taking advantage of the student. Why? Because the teacher is the adult, and the student is the child.

ygs-29/f

Can someone give me a list of late 90s pop artists and/or songs?

I was really young then so I don't remember the artists and stuff but if I were to hear a song I'd be like "I REMEMBER THAT SONG!"

And please, no really obvious ones like Britney Spears, Christina Aguleira, The Backstreet Boys, The Spice Girls etc...

Thanks :)

http://top40.about.com/od/hitsofthe90s/ss/top10090s.htm

This is a list of top 100 pop songs of the 1990's.

To find more of the same types of lists:

ygs-29/f

i met a guy one night and we have talked since. we are really sexually active but havent quite had actaul sex yet but we always talk about it. but everytime we see each other all we do is like everything with each other but i told him im not sure about sex yet- idk what i should do cause i really like him and like playing around with him but i know if i have sex with him then i will probably get emotionally attached to him. so what should i do? and is what im doing totally sluttish since we're not dating or anything and i like still make out with other guys?

First off, you can date all the guys you want as long as you aren't committed and it isn't being a slut.
As for the sex, it sounds to me like you aren't ready for that step. Yes, we women tend to get emotionally attached after we allow a man to have our bodies.
Wait until you know you are ready. Don't do it just because you think you should while all caught up in the moment. Do it because you know you want to, and you are ready to make that big step.

ygs-29/f

Well, I'm 15 and a sophomore. I'm also a girl..I'm a good student and polite to people.
And I have this HORRIBLE fear of talking to teachers, one-on-one (especially if they're male..or strict O_O). Whenever I find out I have to ask them to fix something or for help, I get extremely tense and stressed out. I can't do anything at that moment, and I have to ask a million people for advice. Anxiety overcomes me. I don't know, honestly, what the hell I'm afraid of. Does anyone have the same problem? Do you think it's easy to overcome it? :(

I'm not sure, but sounds to me like you have a fear of authority or superiors? For instance, if you were working at a job, you would probably also fear your boss in the same way.
Best thing I can tell you is keep in mind they are people just the same as you. They eat with utensils, they put their pants on one leg at a time, they evacuate their bowels daily just like you do.
In other words, just because they are in charge (even strict) doesn't mean they aren't a person just like you.
Don't put them on pedestals high above you. There is nothing to fear when you don't have to break your neck looking up at them.
Make sense?

ygs-29/f

I was wondering if its likely for me to get a scholarship to a good college. I don't have straight A's, mainly B/B+'s with a couple A's. But I also play 2 sports, one I made varsity as a sophomore, and the other i kind of just play for fun. I'm also in a community service club. Do you think I have a chance of getting a scholarship? because i have 2 other siblings and my dad cant afford to put us all in good colleges. I'm just asking for opinions mainly. thanks!

Well, there are lots of ways to get into college, and scholarships aren't the only way. There are many types of scholarships. You can get them for grades, sports, private scholarship funds, etc.
There are student loans, student grants, financial aide, etc. Like scholarships, you can get grants you don't have to repay.
What you should do is go to your school guidance councilor to help you. They can help you figure out what is the right choice for you and help you apply. Many don't realize that is part of their job, so they don't know to take advantage of their help.

ygs-29/f

i need to break this couple up. iots complicated but it must be done ASAP. any advice on how. im thinking sneeky and sly. so they dont know its me.

Uh... If you are going to take it upon yourself to think you know what a couple wants and break them up, you need to have the balls to do it like a woman.
To be sneaky and sly so they don't know it is you is the chicken shit way of doing it. No matter how "complicated" it is.

ygs-29/f

whats the best song to put on myspace? i like all types of songs. just something upbeat and happy would be great. appreciate your answer

Upbeat and happy?
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFarrin.

Here is a link to it on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjnvSQuv-H4

That might not be the song you are looking for, but I always saw it as being an upbeat song.

By the way, I don't know if you even remember this guy, but he doesn't use instruments- he makes all that sound through his vocal chords. He is a 1 man act...

ygs-29/f

hey ygsgirl, how are you? my question is regarding math. i hate math. im in intermediate algebra which is algebra 2. I hate it. its so hard to understand. i need help with chap 4, 5 and 6. any advice where i can go online to have them help me or look at steps to better understand it. i have a test in 2 days and i really need help. are you good at math? how do i better understand it? the tutors at school dont help because theyre always in a rush. and my math book is damaged due to a spill. so i have to basically go in to the class and guess. my book is called algebra for college students 8th edition by kaufmann and schwitts. do they have a website i can go to where they show me the chapters i need for the test. please help. i dont know what else to do.

chap 4 deals with:

4x+5 +2x-1 =2
---- ----
3 5

chap 5
numerical expressions
and sq roots

chap6
(-7 + 3i) + (9-5i)

and

5i(3-6i)

how do i learn how to do this?? thanks. youre the besttttt seriously!!!! god bless you for always helping others.

Thank you for your compliments! :)

Bad news is, I suck at algebra. I was always great at math, but algebra never made sense to me.
So, I'm sorry, but I don't know how to help you learn your math. :(

ygs-29/f

I'm 20 years old, and a girl.

My boyfriend proposed to me a month ago, and I couldn't be happier!

We're both students. I've got three years (including this one) left, and he has 4 years to go. We're not planning to get married until at least after I'm done school, so I've got tons of time.

I'm sort of panicking, though, because I'm not exactly the wedding type. I've always had male friends, I spend more time doing my physics homework than dreaming up my perfect wedding, and I've never actually been to one before, due to my absolute lack of family.

It's weird; I'm really looking forward to marrying this guy, but dreading the prospect of having to plan it! That's why I want to start looking around, even though I have several years to sort things out.

Is there anyone out there who has planned (or is planning) a low-budget wedding and has any tips, great websites or books for me to check out? I have absolutely no idea what happens at a wedding, so I have to start from square one.

Before anyone asks me to Google it, I have, and in the process have been overwhelmed by the flood of details. I kind of need a step by step thing.

Yah, my wedding was as low budget as we could get. It's the marriage and not the day, is how we looked at it. This is what we did:
We invited only parents, siblings, grandparents, and a select few close friends. Our guest list was I think at most 30 people, and as a rule, at least 1/3 of your list won't be able to come.

Our wedding was casual, accept for me, who wore a wedding gown. My folks bought my gown, and we got it from a wedding shop that also sold used dresses. My dress was very nice, and cost $125. All alterations for $25.
I had a fresh bouquet, but it only cost $30 because it was made of daisies, my favorite flower. Daisies are inexpensive.
I borrowed white Crocs from my sister-in-law, because I wanted a comfortable shoe, and no one would see my shoes anyhow under my dress.

The wedding party wore blue jeans, nice white dress shirts, and nice dresses. Stuff that can be worn again and again. I had a bride's maid and a flower girl, he had a best man and a ring bearer.
My maid bought some fake flowers from Walmart and made a cute bouquet.
We bought the pillow for the ring bearer, but I made the basket for the flower girl. I got the basket from the crafts clearance rack at Walmart, I got a garland of daisies and ribbon to decorate it.

We bought a few decorations to dress up the the place where we had the reception, but other than getting a roll of paper to cover tables, we only dressed up the cake table, and the wedding party table.
His aunt bought the cake for our wedding gift, and his family cooked some good eats for the reception. We rented the local community center for $25 all day. (It is a Jones Fund community center that used to be a one room schoolhouse.)

The actual wedding was in his aunt's yard, and I'm lucky enough I have an uncle who could marry us, and he did free of charge.
My sister-in-law did my hair for me, so I didn't have to pay a salon.

For invitations, I bought a kit from Walmart (I bought a lot there, didn't I?) and I printed my own from our computer. That saved a lot of money, there, too.
I did the same for thank you cards.

We planned our wedding in less than a month, if you can believe it, and it went wonderfully.

I can't think of anything else I may have done, so if you have any further questions, feel free to ask me in my inbox, and I will help as best as I can.

Below is a link for how a "traditional wedding" is meant to work, but as you know, you make it your own and within your own budget.

http://www.wedthemes.com/wedding-responsibilities.shtml

ygs-29/f

Oh! My mom and I have digital cameras, so she and my sister-in-law took all of the pictures. Trust me, you don't need a professional photographer to get beautiful pictures.
I edited and printed my own pictures from my computer.

Im so shy, i cant look people in the eye when talking to them, i dont like making speeches, i mess up my words when talking, i forget what im going to say when im nervous, i dont like when people stare. i assume people are judging ppl. i dont like how that is. what can i do to change that? i need to get higher self esteem and be able to talk to people or confront people instead of being shy. i need help. i wish everyone loves me the way i am. i want to feel comfortable to express my self and make a clear speech. i want to be well spoken. any tips or advice to help. i realy need it. thank youuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! all info is appreciated very much. you seem confident and thats great! how do you do that? lol i want to make new friends!!!! so i need to stop being shy. hehe thanks hope to hear from u. :)

Well, to be quite honest, I'm not a confident person. I, too, am shy until I get to know those around me. I get nervous and tongue-tied when I have to stand in front of a crowd. I have good self esteem, but I'm not a confident person. I know it sounds odd, but it is true.
So to be quite honest, I don't know how you can boost your confidence. :(

ygs-29/f

i hate my period. why do i have really bad cramps? everyone else i know doesnt complain about anything. i throw up, feel dizzy, i scream, and my stomach hurts so bad. i have to take aleve a week be4 my period starts. and i usually get cramps a wk and a half before actually starting my period. i dont want to go to school or do anything. my back hurts. even medicine doesnt take care of the pain of my cramps. i could go on. lol its so crazy, and it really sucks. sometimes i just sit on the bathroom floor and squeeze my stomach. i feel lightheaded in the shower. i truly hate my period!!!! why is it this bad? my periods are always on schedule, never late. please help. thank you!

You aren't alone in this, but it sounds like you get in pretty bad shape.
You should schedule an appointment with your doctor or gynecologist about this. They can figure out why you hurt so badly, and most importantly why you throw up, get dizzy and lightheaded. It is those 3 things that are out of the ordinary.
They can give you medicine to make you feel better, but more importantly they will check to ensure nothing is wrong.

ygs-29/f

you seem so sweet, and i appreciate you taking time to read this. well i am a virgin and have been with my bf for 5 years, but sometimes i feel like having sex but i want to wait til marriage. u kno what i mean right. i dont kno what to do. any advice? and how do i boost my self esteem and confidence? thank u so much. xoxo

I can't tell you if you should stay a virgin or not. I'm not you, and that is a personal choice.
You do what you feel is best for you and what you are ready for. If waiting for marriage is something you feel strongly about, remember if you have sex before you may feel regretful.
But like I said, it really depends on when you feel ready to make this big step in your life. (Contrary to what seems to be the popular belief, loosing your virginity IS a big step in your life.)
As for how to boost your self esteem and confidence, I don't know how well I can help. I'm not the most confident person in the world, so I don't think I can give you very good advice about that.
Self esteem, however, I think I can give you some advice about.
A long time ago, I decided that I don't care what other people think or say about me. Their opinion does not matter. I know I'm a good person, and MY opinion is all that really matters.
If they don't like me, or they think I'm just an awful person, well that is their loss, not mine. I'm not above others, but I can strive to be above their actions.
I am my own person, I do my own thing, and I'm proud of who I am. I like me, I like being me, and I would never wish to be somebody else.
I don't know if that helps, or if it was even what you were looking for, but I hope it was.

ygs-29/f

I have talked to her about these issues before because my girlfriend and i are 110% comfortable with talking about anything. She seems to share the same feeling about not wanting to end up like our parents. She says thats how i should trust her because she's serious about us and wouldnt be moving in with me if she thought i wouldnt be able to trust her again and would fail or end up like our parents.

She, and you, can't just assume you will trust her again. You probably will fully trust her again someday, but there is a possibility that you won't.

Something you can do is not move in with her until you feel you can fully trust her in your mind, your heart, your gut.

You can't regain someone's trust by saying "see I'm committed, let's move in together" it just doesn't work that way. No matter what her stance is on divorce and failure.

But then again, often times life is about taking risks and hoping for the best. Correct?

I want to work things out because i know she's "The One". We have such a great times together and want the same things out in life house, marriage, children. I think the thing that's briging up these feeling's and making me a little uneasy happens to be because things are becoming more serious and i dont want to end up like my parents divorced. I mean both my girlfriend and I's parents are divored with kids and either of us want to have that happens to us. So i think the reason for the feeling's are things are more serious then ever and we are planning on moving in together but i just dont want to end up making a mistake and ending up like my parents or being hurt in that way.

Well, you are thinking smart. Unlike a lot of folks, you are THINKING before acting. But you can't go through life not taking big steps like this out of fear of failure, OR taking big steps like this with fear of failure in your mind.
If you go through life like that, then you have a long, long life ahead of you.
Often times, life is about taking risks and hoping for the best.

If you want things to work out, then you BOTH have to make it work together. You have to feel comfortable with sharing thoughts and feelings with one another.

That means, you really need to discuss with her this unease you are having. I wager you are probably nervous to talk to her about this out of fear of upsetting her, but this is something the two of you need to sit down and talk about before you move in together.

Do you think that it's worth trying and finding out weather or not she stops and fly's right without screawing up again?!?!? Do you think it's possible to trust someone or fully trust them again?!?!? I promise this is my last question. lol

Don't worry, I don't mind the questions. Helping is my goal. :)

I think it is possible to fully trust someone again. So long as they do nothing to give you anymore reason to mistrust them.

Do I think it's worth trying? Well, what I think is of no importance. It is what YOU think.
Listen, you have to decide this based on your own best interests.
Do you think it is worth trying, or do you think it is better you let go? Neither is the wrong answer if you feel it is the right answer for you.

Honestly? I think either your gut is trying to tell you something, or she has given you reason to be bothered about this like you are.
I mean, you said in one question that she caused mistrust a while back. So... what is bringing this on all of the sudden? Something is bothering you at this very moment, and there is some reason for that.

ygs-29/f

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