about

My name is Laura and I'm 28 years old. I live in Illinois and work as a licensed veterinary technician. I am a runner, bookworm and obviously, an animal lover.


I've been on this site since '05. I take hiatuses, but I'm never gone for good. I enjoy giving advice and I've made such lovely friends on this site that I couldn't imagine giving it up!

chat it up yo.


ps. here's my bestestestest friend.
I love him. You will too :)

advice

what do people write in other people yearbooks? esp to people they dont know? just sign name?

Inside jokes and memories are always good.
Along with signing your name, of course ;]


-Laura. (16-f)

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Im fourteen, female.
I have a pool in my backyard and a few guy friends. And being a girl I cant ALWAYS go swimming.
Like, when that time of month comes around and if the boy across the street just happens to come over then I dont just want to tell him to go away. Im on my period. That would be awkward..
But Ive tried using a tampon but it just wont...GO IN! Urrrghh, its so frustrating. And Im not really willing to practice.
But someone told me quiite some time ago that 'it' stops underwater, which I hardly believe.
But do you have any suggestions?

"It" doesn't actually stop in water, and I know it's embaressing to have to tell somebody you can't go swimming becasue of "it".


Just tell them you aren't feeling well, or you're not in the mood to go swimming. This way, you're not completely lying to them.


-Laura. (16-f)

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How can you Love Yourself....but NOT be conceited?

"Loving self and conceited are two different definitions all together."


I completely agree with the columnist who wrote that in their answer. Just because you love who you are and you're comfortable with yourself does NOT mean you are, in any way, conceited.


To love yourself, you just have to be comfortable in your own skin. You have to focus on the positive aspects of yourself rather than the negative. So, instead of thinking you're fat, or your hair is frizzy, think about how you really like your eye color, or your sense of humor. You have to love yourself, both physically and personality wise, in my opinion.


I also think that you have to really believe the compliments people give you. On the other hand, I think you also have to be able to brush of the insults and not elt them get to you, too.


I hope this helps.


-Laura. (16-f)

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i just got my first real babysitting job.. i have babysat family and stuff but i have never gotten paid.

I have to watch two kids.. a one year old boy and four year old girl. and i was wondering what anyone who babysits gets paid. i just want to know if I am getting paid well or if i am getting screwed.

soo if any babysitters want to tell me how much they get paid, or what parents pay that would be great. thanks in advanced!

Well, I occasionally babysit 2 young kids [ages 5 and 8], and I usually get paid about like 12 dollars for watching them an hour.


I'd say, since these kids are young, that you should charge about 8-10 dollars an hour. Anything around there seems good to me.



-Laura. (16-f)

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I got my period almost a YEAR AGO! But i can't seem to tell my mom about it! Shes always really weird about this stuff, almost as if shes mad about it. When i first started shaving, i didn't tell my mom (just like all my friends) then she found out and like started yelling at me! She said stuff like "why didn't you tell me, your to young to need to do that." Then she told my grandmother when we were walking down the street by wispering it to her. I heard because she said it kind of loud. So when i got my period it thought she is going to tell my grandmother, and oh shes going to keep talking to me about it just like she did with the shaving thing. So now every time i get it, i work up the courage to tell her and then i can't. So how do i tell her????????????

I don't get why you can't just tell her? It really isn't that big of a deal, and it's better to do it now than to keep hiding it and have to tell her when you're like, 25.


Just tell her, and ask her not to make a big deal out of it. Tell her that you really hate how she made a big deal before out of you shaving, and you really don't want her to do it again. Explain to her how it made you angry/upset/whatever it made you feel.


If you're really uncomfortable telling her, don't tell her WHEN you got it, just THAT you did.


Just remember, she's your MOM, and she pretty much has the job of making a big deal out of little things in your life, especially since you're a girl. But like I said, SHE'S YOUR MOM, you should be comfortable talking to her, maybe not about everything, but pretty much.



-Laura. (16-f)

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Ok, so i'm a guy and i'm 16...
I've been talkin to this girl i know from school and we've been planing to hang out, but with both our schedules we're having some issues...but i really want to go out with her...
should i wait till we hang out again or just ask her out now?

I disagree with the people below. Asking her out now might make things a lot more complicated than you want.


I'd wait until the 2 of you hang out again. I don't know how many times you've hung out, but if you haven't spent much time with her, then you asking her out make be too fast, and it might even scare her a little, or she might feel pressured to say yes. And you definetely don't want to just push this on her, as that's pretty much asking for a bad relationship or a "no".


But, if you wait and spend a little more time together, then you'll have built up more of a relationship and you'll know each other more. Basically hanging out more, is like securing your chance of a relationship a heck of a lot more than if you were to ask her out now.



-Laura. (16-f)

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hey as my subject says:how do you tell if a girl loves you.....btw(by the way) im 13 and in grade 8 .....i like this girl alot but im not sure if she feels teh same way, shes in not in my class but we talk on msn and r friends.

Honestly? You don't fall in love in 8th grade. A girl may LIKE you, but love is extremely super completely rare in young kids. BUT, I can tell you how to find out if a girl LIKES you.

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=532578


-Laura. (16-f)

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hi i'm 14/f

well i just started going out with this guy lets call him frank.. well i've like frank for a while and he finally asked me out today and i said yes. Well at the begining of the year i had another boyfriend and we weren't very close we went out for 2 months and we didn't even hold hands or hug and i was just wondering wat i could do to make this realtionship better?
I've never really been close with my boyfriends the sorta avoiding them thing..you know?
and so yea i've never done of that stuff never been kissed!

can you help?
thanks

First off, don't judge Frank by your last boyfriend. They are different people, and just because your last boyfriend didn't do anything, doesn't mean Frank won't.


Second, just let things happen naturally! I mean, these things take time and you've only been with Frank for a day. You can't expect him to feel comfortable enough kissing you after going out for only a day.


Trust me, it's much better to have him hold your hand unexpectedly, than to have had it planned for a month. Worrying and planning and doing things along those lines in a relationship totally defeats the purpose. The element of surprise just makes your first kiss, or the first time holding hands that much better =]


It's also better NOT to pressure him. Pressure in a relationship is a sure fire way to make it terrible, and pretty much make sure it will not work. I really mean this, I have a friend whose relationship failed because his girlfriend didn't respect his boundaries. So, make sure you don't push him to do anything he doesn't want to.



-Laura. (16-f)

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I have been extremely stressed lately and it doesn't seem like i have a good way of dealing with it. i have finals, homework, deaths, friends, work, and so much more. i just seem to have a way to balance it and i know i have to otherwise i'm screwed at the end of the year.

Dealing with stress is never easy, but I'll try to help you, even if only in the least.

Whenever I'm feeling stressed, like when I'm working on really tough homework or feel like I have too much going on with my friends, boys, my family, etc, I have a few ways of trying to calm myself down.


Here are a few tips that help me:

1. Listening to music.
- Now, I'm not talking heavy metal, screaming until your throat bleeds music. I mean, calm, mellow music. As far as what's on my "stressed" playlist, it includes, The Rocket Summer, Maroon 5, Daphne Loves Derby, Coldplay, and Jason Mraz to name a few. But, obviously, everyone's taste in music varies and you may hate those artists, or maybe not. Either way, I suggest finding some calm songs that makes you happy listening to them, putting them into one playlist/cd and listening to it whenever you're feeling stressed.


2. Laying down.
- I literally lay down in the middle of my room, and watch my ceiling fan. I know this might sound weird, or stupid, or whatever, but it really helps. Just laying there, watching, thinking, and breathing is really soothing in times of stress. Plus, it gives you time away from everything, in a sense, and time to just sort out all of your thoughts.


3. Writing.
- This usually helps me when I'm stressed or upset by my friends, a boy, or some sort of social aspect, ya know? Even if you're not good at writing, it's a good therapy or stress reliever. Poems, songs, stories, whatever you're into. And the best part, you can write whatever you want and you NEVER have to show ANYBODY! ;]


4. Some form of excercise or physical activity.
- For me it's running. It helps me forget about whatever's going on, and all my stress. It also makes me feel productive, which is one of my favorite feelings. PLUS, it's proven that excercise makes you feel better, and not as bad as before or people who don't excercise!
An added bonus =]



Now that I've gvien you some tips to minimize the stress, what can really help make it go away, is organization.


Keep yourself on a schedule, and push yourself to get your schoolwork done. It's the end of the year! You've only got a few days or weeks left, why NOT give your all now?


After all your hard work, reward yourself. So, say you ace a really hard final that you were totally unsure about, go buy yourself something you really want! You deserve it =]


I hope this helps!


-Laura. (16-f)

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I have a t•mobile phone, and i can take pictures and videos. When i try to delete a video it says
"video cannot be deleted, there has been a sharing vioalation.. The source or destination may be in use"


why does it say that?

Do you have Bluetooth enabled? If so, disable it and try to delete the video again.


-Laura. (16-f)

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okay i know this is goiong to sound really wierd but can you guys think of anything to do to keep like "intellectually sharp" over the summer. it always hits me hard when school starts at full blast and next year (11th grade if it helps) is going to be harder than ever with 2 AP classes, 2 college courses and a lot of new responsibility. Anyhow, if anyone has suggestions on like books or games or like anything to keep me thinking this summer...i'd appreciate it.
thanks!!

I do Sudoku ;]


-Laura. (16-f)

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okay, thank for the advice i will definatley try and start doing that,
but the thing is i'm l ike afraid to talk to him. idk why i just am.
like the other night i went to a basketball game and he sat behind me,
i wanted to talk to him, but couldn't find myself to do it.

Well, I know it's tough, but you just gotta go for it. Just think to yourself that it's no big deal, and he's just another person you're talking to.


If you're too nervous, try having a friend start talking to him too, so that maybe you'll feel a little more comfortable talking to him.



-Laura. (16-f)

[view]

Hey, Advicenators!


I asked this question about 4 times but I haven't
got any good anwsers, Does any one know any good
sites that you can highlight copy& paste good
background images, or background pattens!
Thanks in advance!

Photobucket.com
tinypic.com

Those are the 2 I use.



-Laura. (16-f)

[view]

I have friends with a girl for a year. The next school year i met a new girl who became my best friend. My new best friend and my old best friend hate each other,and are always fussing over me. I am scared they will both end up hatting me! What do i do? Please help me.
thanks!

Do they even have a reason to hate each other? It really doesn't sound like they do, so they shouldn't go around fussing about you and hating one another for no reason. I'm guessing they're just being girls, because we suck and get jealous all too often and far too easily. Trust me, I'm a girl and I know firsthand about jealousy and guys.


I think you should talk to them. Let them know you value them both as a best friend, but you're sick of them not liking each other. Talk to them both seperately about it, and try to find out just what it is about the other that makes them dislike each other so much. This is a good first step, because you don't want to confront both of them about it together, as this could create an awkward and uncomfortable situation.

Then, try to plan a day for the 3 of you to hang out and for the 2 girls to get to know one another better, so that maybe they can become friends. Or at least, stop being enemies.


good luck! =]



-Laura. (16-f)

[view]

I have a question - obviously in a relationship between 2 people there are going to be differences with each of the persons values and tastes, lifestyles etc.

Now you always hear of people saying "im not changing, this is who i am, take it or leave it" kinda thing. But on the other side to that you also hear of people changing things to compromise or for the benefit of their partner.

I need advice on what is the best school of thought - acceptance of everything as is, or compromise?

For example i bought some shoes my BF didnt like and refused to let me wear them so I called him controlling. But on the other side i ask him to come to bed with me at the same time cos i need some intimacy in our relationship and he says that is me controlling him in the same way he is controlling with telling me what shoes to not wear.

Please give me advice!

I think like Razhie said below, there should be both compromise AND acceptance.


Like you said, obviously there will be differences between 2 people in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you can't change some of those differences to make your relationship easier. But that also doesn't mean you should have to change EVERYthing to make your relationship easier.


Using your example, if I bought shoes and my boyfriend didn't like them, I wouldn't care. If I liked them and I wanted to wear them, I would. I would tell my boyfriend that while I value his opinion and I'm greatful that he was honest with me about it, they're MY feet and what I put on them is my business. This is something you should compromise on, simple things that really don't actually have much of an affect on the relationship anyways.


But when it comes to the big issues, like sex, marriage, money, children, etc, you can't always compromise on them. If somebody is dead set against sex before marriage, for example, you shouldn't push them to do it when they don't want to. See what I'm saying? Sometimes you just have to respect your boyfriend or girlfriend's differences, and set them aside.


I think that an even balance is what makes a relationship work. You have to be willing to be open to some change, but you have to respect one anothers' differences at the same time.


I hope this helps!



-Laura. (16-f)

[view]

okay i heard this song on an episode of 'army wives' where the guy got out of jail, and the woman drove him back to his apartment. and the song went something like this

'i wasnt supposed to be like this,
i wasnt supposed to grow like this,
i wasnt supposed to heal like this'

what is it called and who sings it?

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=532580


-Laura. (16-f)

[view]

okay, i asked you a question last summer about this boy.
i wanted to know if he was into me or not, turns out he was (:
well- we dated for about 8 months, and broke up :/

he said when we break up we would find out what changed between us and be friends.
we haven't talked in person since, minus few minor things.
and when we text it never turns out right.
i'm so scared to talk to him about how i feel in person, and everyone i go to says to either move one or talk to him, i don't want to move on, i still have feelings for him and i'm so scared to talk to him.

but one time when we were texting he told me he was single and used to like me, but i hear he likes this girl from another school.

what do i dooooo?

Thanks for inboxing again =]

Well, I'm glad he was into you, and I know what it's like to be in this situation.


What I would do, is just start talking to him again, but not mention that you still have feelings for him...yet. Get back up to the level you used to be at BEFORE you dated. So, just casually start talking to him, and then ask him to hang out, like you two used to do.


Then, after hanging out a few times and talking and whatnot, ask him if he's single and who he's into, etc. If he says he's single and he's NOT into this other girl, or even if he is, tell him how you feel! Life is way too short to hide your feelings. Trust me, I learned this the hard way from a situation just like this.


Best of luck!


-Laura. (16-f)

[view]

Hey guys, I'm having some trouble. My best friends family hates me because they think we are lesbians but honestly we aren't. We view each other as sisters and love each other but not like that.In truth I'm a really good influence and I'm not a bad kid. Does anyone have any ideas of things i could do or ways to make them like me? All help is appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Have you talked to your friend about this?
If not, go talk to her. Tell her that it isn't cool with you that her parents don't like you and are thinking the wrong thoughts about your relationship. Tell her you want her parents to know the truth, and realize that you're JUST friends. Then, you can come up with something to say to her parents, together. OR you can just have her talk to them if:

A. her parents dislike you that much and you would just be totally uncomfortable.
B. you and your friend agree it would be better if she handled talking to her parents.


If you agree that you both want to talk to them, maybe you can sit down with her parents or go out to dinner with them and explain that you're nothing more than friends. Tell them you're just really close and consider each other sisters, not girlfriends. Just tell them the truth, and let them know that nothing is going on between the 2 of you.


-Laura. (16-f)

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can you think && tell me of things that ryme with
three?? (: thanks

Like:

See, Be, Me, Tree, Canopee [sp?], Free, Agree, He, She, Key, Lee, We?


-Laura. (16-f)

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http://www.spiegel.com/shop/product_single.aspx?style_id=32167142&index=32&gp_coll_id=5007&gp_cat_id=5008&nav_cat_id=10784&category_id=10785


i have a somewhat flat stomach, just pretty big love handles. i dont like one piece suits, but i feel like my love handles look huge in two pieces. i found this one that i think would look good on me but its $130. if anyone could find pictures or stores that have anything somewhat close to this suit, links would be fabulous! THANKS!

I saw a few swimsuits sort of similar to this at Target. You can try checking Target.com to see if they have any that you might want to buy.


-Laura. (16-f)

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