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different this time..
hi i'm 14/f
well i just started going out with this guy lets call him frank.. well i've like frank for a while and he finally asked me out today and i said yes. Well at the begining of the year i had another boyfriend and we weren't very close we went out for 2 months and we didn't even hold hands or hug and i was just wondering wat i could do to make this realtionship better?
I've never really been close with my boyfriends the sorta avoiding them thing..you know?
and so yea i've never done of that stuff never been kissed!
can you help?
thanks
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well some relationships are better than others. i was in a relationship with a guy where we didnt hug or hold hands or anything. when we broke up i relaized the reason why we never did any of that stuff is because the feelings werent there. you know? it wasnt a very good relationship because we didnt have those strong feelings for each other, and it never really worked out. i think that you should try to get to know him better once you guys start going on dates and stuff like that. once you guys know more about each other, you will find that things become much more intimate. then since you know so much more about eachother, you will start to get those feelings of wanting to hold hands and hug and maybe get your first kiss with this guy! tell me how everything works out! i hope this helped you =]]
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First off, don't judge Frank by your last boyfriend. They are different people, and just because your last boyfriend didn't do anything, doesn't mean Frank won't.
Second, just let things happen naturally! I mean, these things take time and you've only been with Frank for a day. You can't expect him to feel comfortable enough kissing you after going out for only a day.
Trust me, it's much better to have him hold your hand unexpectedly, than to have had it planned for a month. Worrying and planning and doing things along those lines in a relationship totally defeats the purpose. The element of surprise just makes your first kiss, or the first time holding hands that much better =]
It's also better NOT to pressure him. Pressure in a relationship is a sure fire way to make it terrible, and pretty much make sure it will not work. I really mean this, I have a friend whose relationship failed because his girlfriend didn't respect his boundaries. So, make sure you don't push him to do anything he doesn't want to.
-Laura. (16-f)
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The best answer I can give you, is make sure you're comfortable in whatever you do with him. If you feel uncomfortable with the situation(for example if he leans in to kiss you), then nicely pull away, but tell him that it wasn't him, it was the timing, or the area, or whatever it might be.
Every first is scarey. Everyone had butterlifes rumbling through their stomach their first kiss, or the first time they held hands with a boyfriend or girlfriend. You will too. You just need to diferentiate between butterflies, and uncomfortableness.
Whatever you do, do NOT feel pressured into doing something you aren't comfortable doing. Not even if your friends urge you, or if you're afraid your new boy will break up with you if you dont, or if you've got complete strangers on advice sites saying,"You need to hold his hand to be close with him or it wont work out." Take things slowly, and at your own pace. If your new dude doesn't dig it, then he's not worth it.
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You have to get close with your bf to make your relationship work that doesnt mean you have to kiss him but holding hands and hugging will make it work better and remember to get to possesive over him guys hate with girls do that.
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