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hi i'm 14/f
well i just started going out with this guy lets call him frank.. well i've like frank for a while and he finally asked me out today and i said yes. Well at the begining of the year i had another boyfriend and we weren't very close we went out for 2 months and we didn't even hold hands or hug and i was just wondering wat i could do to make this realtionship better?
I've never really been close with my boyfriends the sorta avoiding them thing..you know?
and so yea i've never done of that stuff never been kissed!
can you help?
thanks
The best answer I can give you, is make sure you're comfortable in whatever you do with him. If you feel uncomfortable with the situation(for example if he leans in to kiss you), then nicely pull away, but tell him that it wasn't him, it was the timing, or the area, or whatever it might be.
Every first is scarey. Everyone had butterlifes rumbling through their stomach their first kiss, or the first time they held hands with a boyfriend or girlfriend. You will too. You just need to diferentiate between butterflies, and uncomfortableness.
Whatever you do, do NOT feel pressured into doing something you aren't comfortable doing. Not even if your friends urge you, or if you're afraid your new boy will break up with you if you dont, or if you've got complete strangers on advice sites saying,"You need to hold his hand to be close with him or it wont work out." Take things slowly, and at your own pace. If your new dude doesn't dig it, then he's not worth it.
So one of my friends cuts. hes been cutting for a while, and hes been on and off with cousellors and stuff. Hes always talking to me about his cutting but never about how hes handling it or how he wants to stop. So tonight I kinda flipped out, im trying to help him by giving him suggestions on what he can do to try and figure out his problem. You see hes so stubborn that hes always trying to find something wrong. He started calling me little miss perfect, saying stuff how im always trying to fix peoples problems. So I got ticked. I told him if you dont want help dont ask for it, because everyone seems to ask for help and when I give them it they turn and treat me like crap.
So now apparently hes going to the hospital. Im assuming because he cut himself bad after our coversation. The convo didnt end well, infact it didnt really end at all, i just signed out. Should I feel bad? Does it seem like I made a poor choice in how I responded to him? I know that hes sensitive but why should I always "baby" him or cover up whats really going on when he needs to hear the truth. I've tried the nice way, the funny way, the boring ways, and tonight i've tried the mean way. Regardless, im always listening to him whine and complain about how he wants to stop but he never takes it uppon himself to really find ways to stop. Im just so frustrated with it.
Feel Guilty or not guilty?
I think not guilty but I just need to see it from someone elses side.
Cutting is a deep rooted problem, and it is very sensitive to deal with. It seems to me that he does want help, but he doesn't know how to get it, or is too scared to talk to anyone about it. You, however, have his trust, and this is perhaps why he opened up with you.
I can tell you are deeply concerned about him, and this is a very intense issue that cannot be solved in a matter of paragraphs. But I can reccomend a couple books to you. "Inside a Cutter's Mind: Understanding And Helping Those Who Self-Injure", and "Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation".
I used to cut. It wasn't until my therapist gave me these books that I finally began to understand fully why I was the way I was. There are also chapters for non-cutters, to help you better help your loved one overcome their illness.
Just remember... there is hope. It will take time. But you can help him... if he really is ready to be helped.
Well, I'm graduating from high school on June 10th. We will be wearing caps and gowns, but I'm not sure what to wear underneath and for shoes. I don't know how long the gowns are supposed to be (all the teachers are less than helpful) but I'm guessing pants or jeans won't be appropriate.
Also, do the caps fall off? Should I bring some bobby pins to pin it to my head?
Also, I don't even know what color the gowns are, (again, everyone is less than helpful), so what would be some good shoe color choices? And types of shoes.
Thank you!
17/F
No one will be able to see what you're wearing under your gown. So just wear a nice dress that goes down to your knees. Since you don't know what your gown will look like, you might have a full length gown, or a gown down to your calfs. So it's best to just be on the safe side and go with a knee length dress, or skirt.
As for shoes, white, brown, or black dressy shoes would go nicely with any color they throw at you.
And finally, I wouldn't pin your cap to your head. They do stay fairly well, that is, assuming you don't have some crazy hair style like a beehive. Besides, after the whole class graduates you'll all want to throw your caps up into the air to celebrate(it's a tradition). So bobby pins would hinder that just a bit.
Don't stress out over it too much. It's a time to celebrate and have fun!
So I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months lied to me about smokeing weed. he swore he would never lie again but obviously i dont belive him considering he lied the first time. Now that hes lied, I always think that hes lieing to me about EVERYTHING..I dont want to break up with him but I dont want to be with him if I think hes lieing..I know this is confusing but how can I just find out the truth when I think hes lieing? Should I just trust him until I catch him in the act? PLEASE HELP!
If you want to be with him still, and if he promised he would never lie to you again, then accept it and move on with the relationship. You might always have a nagging suspicion that he's lying in the back of your head. But don't dig into it, and don't harrass him about it. If he does start lying to you, chances are high that you will eventually catch him in a lie again. At that point, then you have a valid excuse for breaking up with him, because then you know that his lying behavior will continue, despite his apologies.
I just got my bettas 3 days ago and they realy never fought. They're both females. One of my bettas is perfectly happy but the other (Marley) hovers at the top of the tank and usually doesn't eat much. Its tail and fins are clenched togetherand whenever the other fish comes near her, she darrts crazily in the opposite direction. What could be wrong with her?
Beta Fish are not meant to share a tank. They are more or less happier being alone. The fish that keeps it's fins clenched, Marley, is obviously not enjoying being in the same tank as the other fish. This other fish claimed dominence, and Marley is scared of her, scared to eat, scared to swim too close to her, scared to even look at her the wrong way.
Once you move Marley to her own tank, away from the other fish, you should see much improvement from her. She will eat healthly, and her fins with come out to be much more beautiful. A happy Beta is a pretty Beta. ;)
I am a man in my 20s. I've had this female friend since I started college, and she's one of the best friends I could ever ask for.
Thing is, I have had a crush on her since she and I met. Now, the attraction never changed, but I know that she will not see me as anything more than a friend. In fact, she's maintained friendships with people who were attracted to her, because as she says, "Why should she let that change the friendship?"
The thing is, I don't know how to tell her. I'm afraid that I'll be the exception to her rule. And I know she and I will not be together like that, but I want to be honest with my friend.
Help me be honest without losing my friend. I know it already seems like she would accept me anyway, but still, I'm afraid.
They say,"Honesty is the best policy." Your female-friend sounds like a very considerate and very friendly person. She sounds like she's down to earth, and very easy to get along with.
You said that in the past she had male friends who were attracted to her, but that it did not deter her from friendship with them. I wonder if, perhaps she told you this information because she had a slight inkling that you, as well, have a 'crush' on her?
Wether she knows or not, I believe your best course of action would be to tell her the truth. Leaving feelings build up inside of you, unresolved, can be quite a burden. And it sounds like it's a burden you've been walking around with for quite some time.
When you're alone with her, and can talk intimately, I would suggest saying,"I have something I want to admit to you. I don't want it to effect our friendship, but..." and then carry on with exactly what you told us. That ever since you met her you've liked her. That you've been scared to tell her because you were afraid you'd loose her friendship. And then ask her if she might possibly feel that the two of you could become more than friends, or if she only values your friendship and wouldn't want anything more from you.
Like I said, she does sound like a very nurturing and friendly girl, so I highly doubt she'd become appalled and throw water in your face, or cause any kind of dramatics over the information. I know, it will be extremely scarey to relay your feelings to her, and your mind will always worry about the "what if's"(what if she hates me? what if she doesn't want to be friends anymore? what if...) but you cannot let that get in the way of unburdening yourself with this secret and getting on with your life.
Is anyone else out there completely in love with someone who is far away for a while? This is so hard I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and we only had a month to get to know eachother and fall in love. I have never met someone who made me feel the way he did. Hes away figuring out his life and getting a job he plans on being with me afterwards but its so hard. Im scared that this will break us apart.
It's always hard to have someone you love so far away.
There is a saying,"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." This is true for the most part. However, if you let his absence get the better of you, chances are it will ruin your relationship. In other words, don't grow paranoid about the 'what ifs'. "What if he leaves me?" "What if he cheats on me?" "What if he doesn't come back?" These thoughts will make you sick, and will leak out to infect him with thoughts like,"Wow, if she's acting like this, do I really want to be with her?"
It's hard, trust me I know. You don't get to see or talk to eachother as much as you're used to, or would like to. But when you do talk, keep a positive attitude about it. Encourage him on his goals to make a better life. Remind him of the awesome time you spent snorkling(or whatever). And always let him know that you can't wait to see him again.
My boyfriend kissed another girl. What should I do?
It wasn't a french kiss and it was on the lips.
The thing is, my friend saw this. He was at karate with one of his classmates.
And I think my friend isn't lying because she told me the ADDRESS of the building and the time he was there. I know the karate place and I know what time he goes. And my friend doesn't go to his school so it's not like they talk about what time he goes there and where. We all hung out like 2 times [movies] so no conversation, basically.
My boyfriend didn't tell me anything though..
So i'm not sure how to go about this..
My friend isn't known to be a liar. But I don't know about my boyfriend. :/
Does your friend have anything to gain by lying to you? If not, then why would she make something like this up? Any good friend would let you know if your boyfriend is cheating on you. I don't know your friend, but by the sounds of it, she is a reliable source.
I suggest that you confront your boyfriend about the issue. Don't start off accusing him, males don't take kindly to that(nor do females). Just let him know that one of your good friends saw him kissing another girl, that it really hurt you, that you consider it a form of cheating, and then ask him if he is serious about your relationship.
If he is serious about the relationship, then the two of you need to have a long talk about cheating. You need to talk about what is acceptable, and what it not. To insure that it doesn't happen again in the future(or, if it were to happen in the future, you could dump him on his happy hiney, because he knew the rules).
There is, also the slight chance that he'll admit he's not serious about your relationship, and you'll have to be prepared for that too. The fact of the matter is, in situations like these, you have to be prepared for anything. If he's not serious about the relationship, then I suggest you cut your losses, break up, and find someone who's better for you.
And then, there's a chance he'll try to deny kissing another girl. Men can be crafty creatures like that. Deny deny deny deny. He might come up with 101 excuses, like,"Your friend could be lying." or "She probably saw someone who looked like me, but wasn't me." or "I didn't even go to class on that day." All you simply need to do is keep your cool, listen closely to his arguments, and then calmly state the obvious truthful debate to each argument. For example,"My friend has no reason to lie to me. She never has in the past." or "I trust my friend completely when she says it was you. But if you'd like, I can call her up and ask her if it's possible that she might have made a mistake." The key here is to keep your cool... even if he looses his(which there's a chance he might, because you are backing him up into a corner).
All of my advice is very general and basic, because I don't know the whole situation, I don't know your friend, and I don't know your boyfriend. My advice, however should work none-the-less. Just remember not to get worked up into a frenzie when talking to him. That's not good for anyone. You have the power in this situation. You have control.
Is belly dancing really a great way to slim down?
Cuz I'm thinking of taking belly dancing classes this summer vacation.
Yes, Belly Dancing(as well as any form of dancing) is a cardio workout, which is good for the heart and blood, as well as a physical workout. As I once heard about Belly Dancing from someone coming out of the class,"This dance made me realize I had muscles I didn't even know I had."
Belly Dancing is a great way to work out, to make friends, and to have fun. Plus, it's a very beautiful dance. I love the art of Belly Dancing.
Good Luck! And have fun at your classes this summer!
So I've been on Depo Provera for a year or so and I was previously on it for another year. I always gain weight from it and I always have trouble losing the weight. Does anyone who has been on it have any advice? I don't overeat and I exercise 3x a week for 1 hour. I'm 5'7" and I'm about 140. I was 120 when I got the shot. Any suggestions?
I have also been on Depo Provera for a while now(two years). I, as well, have noticed some weight gain. It is a normal side effect with the Depo Shot. Though I eat healthy, I still seemed to have gained about 20 pounds. Thankfully, it stopped there, and I haven't gained anything since(though I'm still on Depo).
If you are worried that you might continue to gain weight while taking this drug, or if you would like to loose weight, I would suggest seeing a nutritionist, and changing up your work-out routine. The weight gain associated with Depo Provera is usually associated with increased appitite, not a decrease in metabolism, so If you watch your portion sizes carefully and increase your exercise(with cardio and muscle toning exercises), you should be able to lose weight. It might not be instant, or a lot, but over time it'll be better. Just don't starve yourself, or over work yourself!
Your other option would be looking into a new kind of birth control. There are some pills that do not have the 'weight-gain' side effect.
I hope that helps!
people say that if you have a plant in your room it's healthy or something... is this true?
Plants in a room are bennificial for many reasons. While the amount of ogygen they produce probably isn't quite enough to make a profound difference, the greenery certianly does help with emotional well-being. Seeing a living beautiful plant indoors naturally and subconciously makes people feel happier.
Also, according to Feng Shui, cetrian plants in certian areas of your room help with certian blessings. For example, fresh flowers bring luck and fortune in your home.
If the people who are telling you that having a plant in your room is healthy are into Feng Shui, they are probably talking about positioning certian plants in certian areas of your room. However, if you are not into Feng Shui, then it's still pretty bennificial to have a plant in your room. Just be sure to take care of it properly. No one likes to see dead plants, it subconciously makes people feel not-so-happy. Do some research into what kind of a plant you want. Some plants are poisonous to cats and dogs, some take a lot of care and up keep, and some require little attention(just a watering here or there). Find what's best for you.
my rabbit's teeth are really long. its because he has an overbite, so his teeth dont wear down.
i have tried giving him every chew block that exists, he ignores them. i try putting some honey on it, to no avail. i give him veggies, he wont eat them. uggh. all he eats is rabbit pellets.
my vet reccomended hay: doesnt help. and we have been taking him to the vet every two months to get his teeth filed down, each visit costing 100 dollars. we simply cant afford this anymore.
i was thinking of getting his four front teeth pulled out completely, so we wont have to worry about taking him to the vet every two months. has anyone had this done on their rabbit/guinea pig before? how much does it cost?
and yes i am aware that i will have to grind his food, but he will still have his back teach to chew with. (especially because all he eats is pellets and hay, he doesnt have anything to bite with is incisors like carrots and hard foods)
thanks!
I once had a gerbil with the same problem. However, gerbils teeth can easily be clipped down with kitty cat toe-nail sisscors at home, thus avoiding expensive vet visits.
Incisor removal surgery in rabbits is more complicated than simply pulling the teeth. Because rabbit's teeth are constantly growing the socket needs to be scraped after the tooth is pulled to ensure there is no regrowth. Even when done by an experienced vet, there is sometimes the chance of regrowth.
Most of the time, it would be bennifical for you(and your bunny) to get the surgery. Though your rabbit wont have any incisors, he'll compinsate by picking up food with his lips. With the removal of his teeth, he might even be more willing to eat cut up veggies, rather than /just/ pellets. He will also find it much easier to clean himself. So, to me, it does sound like the best option for both you and him.
The surgery should cost roughly around $250... but every vet is different. Just make sure that you go to a good vet, one that you can trust completely. Also, make sure to purchase the post-op medications to prevent infection.
If you have any further questions, I'm sure your vet would be more than willing to answer them for you. They would, after all, be the best source of information.
Good luck, to both you and your lil' guy.
I always feel like I bring everyone down. Or like after I talk to people I feel stupid, like why did i say that... And then I feel unconfortable when I'm around those people... I just feel stupid everytime I open my mouth... Is it lack of confidence? I don't know. Sometimes I just stay shut or sit in a corner by myself, so that I won't feel this way afterwards. What can I do to change this?
And please don't say to stop caring what others think, cause that's obvious.
Have you ever heard the term,"Take the bull by the horns"? The same phrase could be directed twords your situation. I know what it's like to have lack of confidence, I used to be in your shoes. But I broke out of that shell by putting myself out there more. The more you hang out with other people, the more comfortable you'll be with them(and eventually with strangers as well). It will be hard, I wont lie to you. But it's well worth it.
I used to feel like everything I said was stupid, and I used to stay recluse, to avoid humiliating myself. But I eventually learned that most of the people I talked to didn't think what I was saying was stupid at all... it was only in my head. I took hold of my fears, found some people who I felt like I could relate to, and threw myself out into the world. Now I relate very easily to many people, even strangers who come into the store I work at. I laugh with them, make jokes with them, explain about products and services in our store, and I don't feel uncomfortable at all.
You need to do the same thing. It's hard not to care what other people think, but you really should. Besides, those other people aren't ever 1/4 as critical of you as you are. So, take hold of your own fears, and as uncomfortable as you might be, throw yourself out there. It will take time getting used to it, but you'll get there eventually. A year or two down the road, you'll be giving someone else the same advice. ;)
I hope everything works out for you.
Everytime I look really "nice/good/pretty/stylish/glamorous" my friends always spot something on me. Like a little bit of smudged eye liner, or peanut-butter breath, messy hair, lipgloss not on the lips, or make-up prob. Its just so annoying. I hate it. I wish they would just compliment me. but they always find something. So I try to look good but then they always are so mean. I always feel bad after they told me that and embarassed. Its like they never have something to say nice to me. what should i do about this?
It sounds to me like your friends are jealous. They seem to have rather low self-esteem. Most women with low self-esteem, or who see another girl who they think is more attractive then they are will try to pick the other woman apart. They look for flaws to make themselves feel better. That's exactly what your 'friends' are doing to you. While it's a hidden compliment, it does still make one feel bad to hear critique 24/7.
Have you tried talking with your friends about how you feel? Explain to them, when the time is right, not at a playful or goofy time, that you don't enjoy them picking you apart every day. Tell them a compliment would be nice every once in a while, rather than rude comments that make you feel bad. They should understand(at least if they are mature about it), and make an honest effort to change. It might take them a while, it seems like this behavior is engraved in them, but if you keep reminding them when they comment on something 'not right', they will eventually work themselves out of it.
However, should your friends laugh at you when you talk to them about this issue, or should they critique you more often than they do now, just because they know it upsets you, I would suggest finding new friends. Real friends wouldn't intentionally hurt you. You don't need that kind of influence, it could lead to self-image problems in the future. Though, I think it is more likely that this is not intentional, and you just need to bring it to your friends attention.
Good Luck, I hope everything works out.