|
| |
|
My nephew was married out of state a few days ago and we spent well over $1000 traveling to the event. There were several relatives there on both sides of the family and up until 3 hours before the wedding it had been a happy occasion. Literally at the last minute while I was in the process of getting dressed, I was asked by my sister which is his mother to travel to pick up some elderly guests, which was half an hour either way. Suffice to say due to the incompetence or lack of consideration, I missed the wedding ceremony and by the time I made back to the wedding venue, the reception was well underway. Needless to say I was devastated and so upset, I stayed only 20 minutes and myself and my entire family left. I have not spoken to my sister or her family since. I feel used and am very hurt because he is my only nephew and the only reason why I even went was for the ceremony. I feel this single event has forever changed my relationship with my sister!! Am I wrong for feeling this way? (link)
|
I would say yes and no. No, you have every right to feel all the feelings you are feeling. It was exceptionally inconsiderate and you paid so much to be at an important event like that and if you didn't even get an, "Oops! I'm very sorry!" from her, that's just icing on the cake.
But no in that I wouldn't let it define your relationship with her for the rest of your lives. I wouldn't let it shift everything into bad feelings because it doesn't sound like it was intentional. It doesn't sound like she meant for you to miss everything. It sounds like an honest mistake. I would talk to her about the gravity of her request and explain while you're hurt and go from there. If she's unreasonable and can't see how what she did is bad, at least you can tell yourself that you tried to salvage things.
That's what I would do.
|
|
So I just started high school and I want to join my high schools Gay Straight Alliance but the thing is my parents won't let me. It's so annoying and I'm openly gay and want to do ore activism for LGBT and my parents think its wrong to join such a cub. What should I do? The. GSA is like a safe haven for me to be me and my parents don't like it. (link)
|
Did they provide any reasons for being opposed to the club?
I would join the club either way, honestly, but that's just me. Joining such a club would bring about healthy relationships for you, I'm sure. To regularly be in a place where you know for a FACT that you will be accepted for who you are, it's an important thing and your parents need to know that. I would talk to them about it again and try to reach some understanding.
|
Im in sophmore at this high school and I really wanted to get into the arts this year...aka filming. I met this guy, we will call him Steve, and he is a photogpraher. We started texting and instastanly became good friends.
I wasn't sure if I like liked Steve, or just liked him as a friend. Idk, he was the first REAL guy friend I had in a while. we hung out everyday after school, during lunch, and sometimes even before school. I couldn't tell if he like liked me, but Im pretty sure it was just a friends thing.
Anyway, than he met my sister. My TWIN sister.
SO to fill you in, me and my twin look NOTHING alike. she is a bit skinnier than I am, and we r also COMPLETLY different. I have never had a boyfriend and she also is with a guy.
So Steve and my twin meet. and they start flirting. a lot. It made me really upset because I had told my twin that i may have feelings for him, but she literally keep flirting.
than they started texting.
and texting
and than everything got fucked up.
I can't tell if I'm jealous of this because I like him, or WHAT. but its fucking up me and STeves relationship because every time I talk to him, I feel like I'm being played because he likes my sister.
no, they haven't actually been like romantically doing anything. but they text a lot. and me and steve and becoming not even friends at this point.
Well. ok
so what do i do?
For more information on this story... BECAUSE THERE IS A LOT... right me back
thanks all (link)
|
First off, it's entirely possible that you're jealousy has nothing to do with feelings for him. Like all humans, you probably need some reassurance on occasion and the fact that your sister is getting more positive treatment than you is grounds for bad feelings alone. So forget about the attention your sister is getting and just think about the guy. Think and try to decide if you have feelings for him. If you still aren't sure, my guess would be that you don't.
Either way, I don't know your sister, but it might be a good idea to bring this up to her. I would guess that she doesn't know how you feel and would act differently if she did.
Also, if you do have feelings for him, I would bring it up sooner than later. If your sister and he start a relationship, I wouldn't bring it up at that point because it might damage their relationship, which is why I would do all of this soon. If you don't have feelings for him, I would try to put it all behind you.
|
|
I turned 18 in june I am an adult I'm a female. I am currently living at home with my parents n siblings and attending a community college. I'm tired of my parents and me n my mom aren't getting along. I really just want to leave now and run away to some place but I need to know a few places that would be best to go too? I have about 4,000 dollars and I just wanna go somewhere and not go back home.so any ideas where I can run away and disappear too? (link)
|
Your concerns should probably come in this order: job, place to live, food. Food is important, but due to financial assistance like EBT, it's not hard to get.
So first, depending on where you live, rent could be around 500 dollars. Let's say food is 200 a month and factor in an extra 100 a month for soap, toilet paper, shampoo, conditioner, transportation(public transportaion. If you have a car, it'll likely be more expensive), perhaps a phone or internet. That's 800 a month to live, it could be more or less.
4000 dollars will get you about 5 months if you're lucky. But assuming it could take a few months to find a job, it could be cutting it close. I would look for a job (or better yet, transfer to a different school and live in a dorm) and start from there. If you really want to leave, you could try to get a job at a place like Target or somewhere else that's really popular. The reason is that if you decide to move away, you can transfer and you'll still have a job at your new location.
|
Hey everyone!
I have been noticing something here on this website, and it's annoying me at an excessive level. How can people be like this?
I just saw a question about how there's a 24 year old woman who wanted to be with a 21 year old man, and the answers are all like "oh your age gap is not a problem"
But when there's a question about a 14 year old girl wanting to be with a 17 year old, the answers say "he's too old for you." -.- Really? It's the same thing! The age gap is the same size, yet people make such a big deal of it when the people are younger. >:(
Why does it have to be this way? Is there a specific reason why people don't think that an age difference matters at an older age, but when it happens with teenagers, people disapprove right away?
Can anyone PLEASE explain to me why? It just doesn't make sense to me. This angers me in ways I can't even understand.
Thank you to everyone who answers in advance, really. (link)
|
Age gaps being right or wrong are based solely on trends and tendencies. They see that most people change a lot at a young age and may not be old enough to know what they want, etc.
In reality, every situation is different. People mature at different rates, it's hardly what I would call consistent. So if you are 14 and are in a relationship with someone that is 17, I see nothing wrong with it based on age alone. Though I do ask that you be aware of state laws concerning age. Not because I think those laws should govern who you want to date, but because it can be dangerous and you both should be aware that this older person could get into a lot of trouble, depending on the state. Here's a link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#State_laws
|
|
i think i may be seeing ghost or hallucinating or whatever.i told my mom,and she told me it does run in my family.its like this woman has been following me my entire life.she is always the same and fairly ageless-always a white female,long brown hair,about 30 or so,bony but not in a gross disgusing way,and always wears a forest green track suuit.it started at a very younge age where i just saw her walking.then one day i asked her wat shes doing in my yard.she was only about 10 feet away but she sounded like she was miles away and had a peice of paper between un to muffle her voice.i tried to get closer but she was gone.it happens at random times and and isnt just at one place or house.it happens every 2 or 3 months or so.the most recent and when she was the closest and most vivid was 2 weeks ago.i told my parents to see if they knew her.i was looking out the window in my dads dining room at the garden.she appearded to be squatting and turneed her head and looked in my eyes.she got up and started briskly walking toward me.i called my sister to come see her and see if it was one of her friends moms.but even tho she was right at the window facing me,her face sweating(it was hot) she said she saw noone,even tho she was right there.i got scared.shes been everywhere latly,just on the street and i say there she is a gain but no one else sees her.im scared becouse shes gotten closer as ive aged.im 13 now.and the strangest thing,im her in all of my dreams.im never me.i look like her,im weasring green,and i dont like any of the same things.i feel like i am her but remember that im me.shes scares me.am i hallucinating?who is she?why am i her in my dreams?i often draw and most of the people end up looking like her.am i seeing a ghost and am i haunted??Help. (link)
| |
It sounds like you are hallucinating. If knowing that she's just a hallucination isn't enough to ease your mind, I would tell your parents and attempt to get professional help.
|
|
Im starting 9th grade Tuesday and I have major problems. I flunk a lot in school. I reall don't understand the material. I'm socially awkward so I really have a hard time making friends and keeping a relationship. When I ask people to hang out they all say no. I have social anxiety and depression so guidance was all over me and they ebarassed me because they would make me go with them when I didn't want too because I was fine. Then kids would see that and get scared. (link)
|
You may have adhd. I would ask your parents and see if you can get tests done proving whether you do or not. Sometimes when people have an attention disorder, it's very easy for them to go through life without even knowing it.
A lot of people scare easily. It's frustrating, but always true. The trick is to find the few people that care enough about others (not just themselves) to give you a chance. Those are the kind of people you want as friends.
|
|
I bought a graphing calculator 2 days ago, and I noticed that when I press the Y=/Stat Plot button, it lags and shows the little picture in the top right corner that indicates that it's "loading" something. Also, when I try to move the cursor up and down, it lags. I compared it to my friend's graphing calculator and pressing the Y=/Stat Plot button seems to load fast with no problem, and the cursor can travel up and down fast smoothly and quickly. Everything else seems to be working properly, but I can see where this will get annoying, not being able to enter functions/move around quickly, especially if I'm taking a test. I don't know if this makes any difference, but I bought a pink graphing calculator. I would exchange it, but the thing is, I already wrote my name in sharpie on the back of it. :\ Does anyone know if I'll still be able to exchange it, or what the problem may be and how I might fix it? (link)
| |
Try to get the name rubbed off with rubbing alcohol, but remove the batteries first and don't turn it back on until it's completely dry. I'm not sure if you can return it if the name is on it, but if you can't get your name off, I would try anyway. It sounds like it could definitely be a big hindrance when taking tests. I wouldn't get the same model either. I would get the money back and look for a different one.
|
|
I was wondering where I could find cheap music downloads? Even somewhere you can buy a membership and get free and or cheap music. I tried Rhapsody but I cancelled my membership because I didn't like it. If any of you have anywhere you could get free music without the viruses that would be great too!:) thanks! (link)
|
There aren't any free sites that are legal, to my knowledge. If you don't want to pay and want to illegally download songs, google mp3 download and several sites will show up. I tend to use beemp3.com as it's one that I haven't had problems with yet.
But I only use sites like this when the artist doesn't provide a way to buy it.
I usually use two different sites. Since I buy songs by album instead of individual tracks, I tend to go to murfie.com It's a site that allows people to buy and sell used albums. The users sell the music, not the site, so it can range from 1 dollar (2 dollars if you're not a member)per album to God knows what. You never know. I usually check here first.
If what I want isn't cheap enough there, I have an account at emusic.com which is anywhere from 49 cents to 79 cents per song, usually. emusic is interesting in that it's a lot different from most online music stores. You pay a certain amount per month and that's how much you have to spend in that month. I use the minimum allowed ($6.49, I think) per month and a 20 dollar booster pack which comes with 5 free dollars attached and lasts up to 3 months. In short, I pay about 13 dollars a month and get 15 or 16 dollars worth of music that costs usually 49 cents a song or 6 dollars for an entire album (sometimes as low as $4.99 per album).
Sometimes there's great deals on amazon.com as well. Hope this helps.
|
|
So my mom called me a bitch twice in an argument last week and we still have not been talking. Today she proved how immature she is. Our family was supposed to go on a boat today on the lake I already thought I was going my dad and sister already invited me. And this made me my mom angry, she turned into a high school student throwed a fit and said if I'm going she isn't going. She got all the attention on her in the house and played the victim. I was so over it. So she tells ny dad he needs more control and he then says I can't go. I went to her and asked her why she is acting like this she had no good reason. So we got into yet another disagreement. My dad doesn't know she even called me a bitch. She's asking like its all my fault. She knows she's wrong she is using her power as a mom to ignore the fact that she is wrong. I'm tired of her and I'm over it. I don't ever see us talking again and I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I'm just done. I'm the daughter yea and oh I'm supposed to respect my parents but she can disrespect me and get away with it??? That's serious bullshit. (link)
|
First of all, I wouldn't leave for good without a solid plan. For instance, you'll need a job, an affordable apartment, and possibly some plans for the distant and near future.
With that out of the way, I would talk to your dad about it. I would explain to him how verbally abusive she is and how badly it's effecting you.
If that conversation doesn't end on a satisfying note, then I would take this to a counselor at your school, assuming you are still in school.
|
|
I really like my brothers friend, and I know he likes me too because he told me I was really beautiful after looking in my eyes and then before that when we first spoke on the phone, i spoke to him for like over an hour and he said I wish other girls were like u too (so easy to talk to) and then i tagged along to the cinemas with him n my brother and he kept staring into my eyes and he was making sure I was involved in every conversation he had with my brother and on my brothers graduation he kept staring at me and asking me if iv been enjoying myself and whenever I looked at him I'd catch him staring at me and then he would quickly look away. Iv got a big feeling he likes me but I don't know if I should tell my brother because my bros really protective over me. What shall I do? I know I sound like a 15 year old but I'm a really shy girl and therefore don't go out socialising much as I don't want to. Hes 21 and im 24 years old so i dont know if i should care about age and if i would be accepted in his family as we both come from very cultural and traditional origins. Can you give me some advice? (link)
|
That's a perfectly normal age gap.
I wouldn't let family dictate who you can and can't date. You're dating each other, not each other's family.
I would talk to him. Tell him how you feel, find out for sure how he feels. It's scary, I'm sure, but it's the best way to do it.
|
|
Im gay but I don't know how to tell her. (link)
|
I disagree with the previous two people. If you feel you should tell your mom, you should tell her. I recently came out to my mom about being pansexual, so I've probably gone through something similar. Doesn't matter how old you are or how you've come to this realization. What matters is you feel this way and you want to be honest with your mother. I'll tell you how I did it.
First, I tried to thoroughly explain my theory on sexuality. I explained that gender is so fluid and there's so much gradation that it doesn't make sense to base attraction of someone on gender first. That's how I felt about it anyway.
That didn't take. She didn't understand that I was trying to tell her that I was attracted to men as well as women. But I wanted to be perfectly honest with her. So I eventually just blatantly told her, "Hey, Mom. What would you do if I dated a guy?" She said she didn't know and asked why I would ask. I followed with, "Because I wouldn't be opposed to it."
This was followed by a series of questions, but it turned out well. If I were you, I would be as blunt and clear as possible, making sure she knows where you're coming from. Hopefully things turn out ok. My mom is the religious, slightly homophobic type and my situation turned out ok. Best of luck.
|
20/f
Last night me and my friends were at my apartment drinking. My roommate had her ipod in her speakers and I went to go change the song. I saw that a text had popped up from a girl I didn't know that said "what would your friends think if they saw what I text you?" I know it was wrong, but I was drunk and I was curious who this girl was because my roommate is one of my best friends and I literally know every single one of her friends. I looked at her texts and they were talking using ;) faces and referencing to having hooked up before and hanging out and stuff like that. I was shocked. My friend very recently had sex with a guy and she has made out etc. with a bunch of guys. She always gets really attached to the guys she likes and really jealous when her friends hook up and she complains that she hasn't in so long. I have nothing against gays/lesbians (I actually have a lot of gay friends) I am just very confused about this. I thought I knew her really well. The girl she was texting is also 17 and went to the same high school as my roommate. The 17 year old also has a boyfriend and in their conversation they talked about guys they have hooked up with. I am just confused about what to make of all of this and I want to talk to her about it but I can't do that unless I admit to reading her texts. (link)
|
That is tricky. If she tells you seemingly everything, this must be very private and not something she feels comfortable sharing with anyone. I honestly wouldn't bring up that you read about such things yet as it might force her to come out before she's ready and willing, if she is interested in women in that.
I think the best you can do is find some way to reassure her that you are okay with someone not being hetero. Take an account of someone being homophobic and rant to her about it. Anything to make her feel more comfortable in sharing such things with you. If she still doesn't share with you these types of things, that sucks, but in that way it's all up to her to do so. And since it's her situation, it should be up to her.
|
20/f For the most part I'm very happy and have a great life. I can get easily upset
and overreact in certain situations but overall, I'm mentally stable and have a great life. I do have inattentive adhd, however, and I'm sure it very much causes my overreacting and worrying, etc. The thing is, I don't often get depressed about things that are actually happening but I can get VERY worried about the future. The other thing is, the main source of my anxiety is matters regarding my social life. I rarely get worrisome over schoolwork, etc. The anxiety almost always correlates with my social life. I'm an extremely kind, considerate person and easy to interact with and people really do like me. Now that I'm in college I have a good amount of friends, thank god. I'm not shy or awkward but very polite and professional and I can also be very guarded when I don't know people so well. This is the way I've been since pre-school and honestly don't know if it's something I can change. Maybe this stems from my self-esteem issues that have gotten better but that I still continue to have.
I'm really not socially inept, though, I'm witty, kind, and social and I think people realize this more as they get to know me. People do like spending time with me and share personal things about themselves with me, as I do many times with them. My friends love most of my qualities. I'm also VERY introspective (product of my adhd) and enjoy spending a lot of time alone. I think this is one of the things that makes me insecure, as most kids my age love being around friends all the time and while I like being alone a part of me feels lonely sometimes and I desperately want a group of close, close friends that I can always be around, which I do have somewhat but not entirely. It’s a big gray area.
As a young child I had only a couple of friends and then I became friends with these two girls in middle school whom I was very close with but they were my only friends and insane bullies, complete weirdos now. Stopping talking to them was almost like a divorce and I remember the intense anxiety I had about this as a mere 8th grader. This forced me to start off clean in high school and over the 4 years I had huge issues fitting into the cliques and finding a group for me. College was much better, but there are times where I still feel like a stray individual rather than part of a group, which I absolutely HATE because it makes me feel like a loser and like no one loves me. This is the irrational part of my brain speaking mostly, because it's not nearly as bad as my worried, anxious thoughts imagine. I'll get anxious and then hang out with people and it'll go away but it always comes back eventually. and why is it that I desire to be a part of a group so much? I try SO hard to accept myself which I do in many ways but self-esteem continues to be a problem no matter how much I reassure myself and I have no idea why.
I just moved into college for junior year and it seems as though within the first day everyone has dove into seeing each other and going out at night, none of which I've gotten to do yet. Last night, I stayed in my apartment all alone because my mom dropped me off and my roommate (who is a very close friend) went out with her main group of friends and then stayed over her boyfriend's. I felt like a loser. inferior. Why don't I have a group like that? Why was I all by myself last night? Another related problem is my HUGE issue with jealousy. I get jealous of other peoples' relationships with each other mainly. Sometimes, other things tie in like looks, smarts, talent, etc. I did a lot of self-analysis over the summer and realized that my whole life I've been envious of the relationship between my parents. They're NEVER affectionate towards one another in front of me or other people but they are always on the same team no matter what. This has been worse in the past though. My mom will side with my dad even if he's wrong. When I was 12 I had huge anger issues and my parents sent me to a therapist. The problem was very much my dad's emotional and anger issues but of course the entire thing was blamed on me. Of course my mom couldn't stand by her daughter's side in any of those situations. My parents also never fight. I think it's because of my mom's absolute reverence of my dad despite the fact he can be a little hard to deal with sometimes, she never got angry with him but always with me! They're also very shy and secretive with my brother and me; guarded in a way, and never talk about things that are controversial or scandalous (sex, partying, their past, family issues, and many other touchy things). They’re also very difficult about listening to me vent about personal issues like this and stop at nothing to be insensitive or make things awkward.
My brother and I are cool in our own ways but we're kind of an awkward family when I think about it. My parents are wonderful and not abusive or anything, I'm just trying to paint a picture of my jealousy and my family dynamic and how it possibly contributes to the way I am now. I'm also trying to reflect the side of me that is angry and emotional and sensitive. Most of my friends see my opposite side and not this one. But anyway, I also felt like I was on a team alone against my parents who have one another. I've just always felt alone in many ways and now that I've cultivated this college lifestyle that's much better in that regard, I'm always reaching for more to make it get even better and get anxious that it won't get better or it'll get worse.
When I see people I like bonding with other people, it makes me ragingly jealous. When other people whom I'm already jealous of get talked about in a positive way, it makes me anxious and jealous. I also get anxious when I have to start new chapters, now for example, with starting a new semester. Once things lock in, I feel way more comfortable but why can't I just be happy/comfortable at the start? Many times, I just feel out of the loop, uncool, and socially inadequate, but most of the time irrationally so.
This post is a perfect example of my over-thinking as I've already been spending about an hour on this. When I type these kinds of things I get really hyper-focused and heated and can't stop even to go to the bathroom, when with anything else I get distracted and stop every 2 minutes.
I've never had a boyfriend or any physical or sexual experiences with guys other than just kissing a guy once or twice drunkenly at parties. No guys go after me, no one hits on me, I don't get asked out and I'm not ugly, just a bit overweight which I'm very insecure about. I guess I don't know how to flirt or seem too serious? I don't know. Maybe I'm not pretty enough after all. I try soooooooo hard to be confident because that's what's attractive but I guess it doesn't work. My brother has never had a girlfriend either and he was in the popular crowd in school and he's not bad-looking either. I can tell he's somewhat insecure too.
It makes me feel bad that my other girlfriends are having flings with guys or are in relationships. I'm jealous of them to say the least. I just don't know how to fix any of these issues. I don't feel like it's truly me to be guarded and independent. I want a snug, tight group and people to always hang out with and males who are interested in me. I want people to love and to be loved. I don't want to be jealous or anxious at all. I'm very anxious right now for what this semester has in store. I know people will say you just "need to relax" and "not worry" but that's waayyyyy easier said than done. I guess I can psycho-analyze myself well but I’d love to get to psychological core of why I am the way I am and what I can do. I’m not a professional and my psychological knowledge only stems so far. Any thoughts or advice would be enormously appreciated.
(link)
|
When I was in college, I knew this attractive, popular girl. One day, she, some friends, and I were talking at school and depression was brought up. She started talking about her struggles with depression. Another attractive, together, involved girl that I certainly had a crush on started talking about her depression and anxiety, too. It surprised me.
The point of that little anecdote is that I'm fairly certain that we all struggle in similar ways. We all have things that we have to deal with as individuals that make us feel like we're on the outside looking in or at least the majority of us do. Maybe you can find comfort in knowing that just about everyone knows that feeling, so in that, you're the opposite of alone. This feeling is universal.
I wouldn't consider myself unattractive, but I didn't have a physical relationship until I was 21. So don't feel too bad about that. I didn't think really anyone found me attractive, but I learned later on that a number of people had a crush on me in high school, they were just involved with someone else or too nervous to say anything.
As for why you feel jealous and afraid of new situations, I don't know. I suppose it could be because people get anxious about the unknown. In a new situation, it's only instinct when you're on guard and bracing for the unexpected. We always fear the unknown. It's only human. There's the rare person that can do it all without a care in the world, but that person is rare.
And as for being jealous, some people just are. Maybe it's from lack of positive reinforcement. Maybe when you see someone get recognition, on some level it's like they're saying that you aren't as good or that you don't accomplish anything because you don't hear it said about you.
And as far as accomplishments go, they don't go far. Being kind and considerate holds much more value than accomplishments. I mean, if someone paints a great painting, but they're a jerk about it, they're still a jerk. Sure, there's a nice painting that the person did floating around somewhere, but at the end of the day, they're still an asshole. I guess my point is consideration goes really far when it comes to someone's character. Keep that in mind the next time you start to feel jealous of someone else's accomplishments.
I think I touched on everything. If I didn't and you think it would help to talk to me about things I didn't address, you know where to find me.
|
As my marriage is breaking up around me,I've pleaded and begged,but no-ones listening,I've got 6 small children ,I feel like ending it and leaving them all to enjoy there life with their mother,I'm 47, I had everything,bus,house,holiday home,financially stable,don't owe nothing,yet the most valuable thing I have,I'm losing like water running through my hands,
It just seems the only way out.........
I'm based uk. (link)
|
I won't say that I know what you're going through, because there's no way I could. I will say that there will always be amazing things to come in life and there will always be disastrous things to come. Your life sucks, but it won't always suck. One of my parents was suicidal when their marriage broke up, so I can relate in a weird way to the situation. Your children need someone to love them, even if you can't see them when you want, not a check. Your death at your own hands would traumatize them for life, doing far more damage than a check would ever make up for.
Of course, I'm making assumptions, feel free to correct me.
I guess my reason for replying is that I think you aren't thinking clearly right now. You shouldn't leave life-altering decisions to an unstable mind in the middle of an enormous crisis. Just wait. Things will get better.
|
|
Okay so we dated. Broke up with me because of his ex gf. They dont talk anymore because he realized it was old feelings. We are sort of friends but maybe more. We hung out one day and made out for like 2 hours. We talked about getting back together soon. We didn't talk for two weeks because his phone is a piece crap and it broke. We talked to other day on the phone for like 5 mins and we were going to hang out but he couldnt get a ride. I was hanging out with my friend today and he came over. We both didn't know we would be there. He basically ignored me the whole time. He never ever has acted like that before. I got so mad that I left with my best friend (who was over there too). Why was he acting do weird. He wants to get back together one day and the next ignores me? I am confused. (link)
|
I could make all sorts of guesses. Maybe he was waiting for you to come to him and it just seemed like he was ignoring you. Maybe he was trying to act like a typical guy to keep up appearances with his friends. Maybe he was preoccupied with something else.
Honestly, it could be a lot of things. If you want a solid answer, the only thing you can do is go to him and ask him. He's the only one that knows for sure.
|
|
my name is chandan and i m from India. i was like a gods son...since 2006 i pray to every morning and evening but always unsuccessful while i m trying to do something...less education and poor home conditions make to be a PORN STAR but i m also fall there because i m not a girl..i m 31 years now and still depend on my mom..i don't want to live a ordinary life..rather its better for me to die...please advice me...please. my email address is chandan.kashyap28@gmail.com (link)
| |
Try community college. Think of what you're interested in, then see if that translates to a career of some sort that you can go to school for. The only thing dying accomplishes is putting the people you care about through Hell.
|
hi im 20yrs old me and my boyrfriend have been together for nearly a year and engaged for 5 months. recently we have been stressing out so much bout the wedding we have been arguing daily about everything including us being together. i love him dearly but i am no longer in love with him as a result and i have told him this we are trying to see if we can re build it or not. in the past few days i have had to find out things about him from others and it hurts! i have asked him why and all i get is i dont know. im hurting so much as we have lost a child together and i have found out about a new medical condtion that i have. im finding it hard to deal with my new heart problem and with this on top i feel like ending my life or running away but i know these are not the answer.
im so stuck on what to do and i cant go to my parents they wont understand they have never had this (link)
|
Sometimes things are so overbearing that you have to ask for help from people that are willing to give it, which includes your parents. Sometimes it gets so bad that you need regular, outside input and additional help in the form of a therapist or some sort of counseling. Do you feel that this is that kind of situation? If so, regardless of if your parents will understand, maybe you should go to them. They don't have to understand the details to comprehend that you are in need of help.
As for your relationship, seeing someone for a year is sometimes barely adequate time to really understand someone. People tend to be guarded for a long time in fear of expectations a significant other might have. Maybe he's just now showing his truer side. It might be time to let him go.
|
|
Long story short, I have this uncle who has done everybody in his life wrong big time at one time or another, but I'm here because he did something to me eight years ago that hurt more than he knows. It devastated me and was the most unfair thing that's ever happened to me. I've never told him how terrible it made me feel, but now I'm having new problems in my life now because of it and the anger's coming back. I think I might tell him how I feel soon just so I can get my feelings out. The thing is, he thinks everything's fine between us and he's probably forgotten all about it. I don't want to damage our relationship, but I also don't want to have all of these feelings bottled up inside of me for the rest of my life. What should I do? (link)
|
Is it something you can foresee getting over? Since it still bothers you this much, I would guess it isn't. In that case, I would tell him.
But I wouldn't come at him in an accusative manner. I wouldn't say, "You did this... It's because of you..." I would just put out how these things made you feel. "It made me feel... I feel that..." It may seem less hostile that way, it might make it easier for him to hear, and it might be easier to understand.
|
So back in April I met this guy named Luke. The first time we hung out at the bar I told him BLUNTLY that I was not in any way whatsoever looking for a relationship. Well, we ended up going to his house and getting drunk and having sex. Before we had sex, I told him this was just a "fuck buddy" kind of sex, not a relationship kind of sex. He said that was just fine and that we could be fuck buddies. I knew what I was doing and it wasn't a drunken mistake. I know NOW that this was a mistake tho so don't focus on that.
Since we were fuck buddies we had sex often. To me, it was just sex, but to him it was love and relationship building. He started telling me he loves me and can see a future with me. I have NO idea why I continued to let things go on but I did. While still telling him I am not interested in a relationship. Well after awhile of him charming me and being romantic I told him I loved him too and I wasn't lying.
This was a mistake!!
I KNOW for a 100% fact that our relationship can never work. I do love him and care about him very much but I am not in love with him and I never can be becuase we are completely different people. I can never be with someone who is a chain smoker like he is and who has such an alochol dependancy. His constant drinking has made him very immature (he still parties and acts like a teenager... no exaggeration) and he is 11 years older than me. I feel like I am taking care of a child. I can not be with him. It will never work out.
But he is head over hills, completely and down right in love with me. He goes on and on to all his friends, family and co workers about me and how much he loves me and I love him, etc. He is always doing the sweetest things and saying all the right words.
I know I am being a bitch cuz I keep letting him believe everything is okay. I hate myself for doing it but I just feel like I don't have the heart to hurt him so badly. I know this is becuase only 9 months ago I was dumped, hurt and immensely heartbroken and I just can't put anyone through that.
I know that it will crush him. He will sink into a depression that will affect his work (which is in another state and it's too dangerous for him to not be focused), he will be embarrassed around everyone because he talks so highly of our relationship and how happy he is and it will affect his relationships with everyone around him for quite some time. All becuase of me.
I KNOW it needs to be done but I don't know how to do it. At the moment it would have to be over the phone cuz he lives in another state for his job. He will be home in about 6 weeks and he will stay with me for 2 weeks before he goes back but I am the only home he will have for those 2 weeks, he has no one else to stay with at all. I can't tell him while he is living with me and I can't tell him just before he leaves back to his dangerous job can I?
My plan now that I think is kind of working is to make him fall out of love with me. By really focusing so much on those differences we have. That I don't want alcohol in my life ever, that I may never want to have children, that I don't want to get married for at least 5 more years, that I want religion in my life... these are all things he disagrees with and they are big things.
Sorry for the novel. I just need advice. What do I do. I will reward good advice. Please don't give me negative comments like "you got yourself into this" becuase I know what I've done. I'm asking for advice now. Please also avoid "You just have to tell him" becuase obviously I have thought of that and am not exactly at a point where I can just do that. PLEASEEE HELP!!! (link)
|
I'm going to be blunt and tell you what I think you should hear without sugar-coating it. So if I sound like an asshole, I'm sorry.
"I just feel like I don't have the heart to hurt him so badly."
I don't think this is the case. I don't think it's your heart, I think it's a fear of how you'll have to deal with the situation. You have in your mind a picture of what will ultimately happen. It's not going to end well. You know that. Prolonging it is a damage to him and the longer this goes on, the bigger the chances of the damage to him being greater. So sparing him pain now will only likely be prolonging inevitable pain for him and adding to it.
In short, break it off sooner than later and spare him some future pain. He now has six weeks to figure out what needs to be done. If I were you, I would let him use those six weeks to figure out where to live for the two weeks that he's in town. Speaking of which, does he need to come back? Is he just coming back because of you? Is there any way he can simply stay in the town he's currently in?
If worse comes to worst, you can tell him that he can stay at your place while you two are broken up and just suffer through an awkward fortnight, but it's up to you. Personally, I would end it over the phone and do it sooner rather than later. Take all the things you are using in an attempt to push him away and bluntly tell him that these are the reasons for your decision. And add to that the feeling that you just don't love him in a romantic sense.
And I'm going to sound like an ass if I'm not already, but when it comes to him talking to other people about how great you are, that's not your problem. That's his problem and his problems aren't going to be your problems anymore. Yeah, it's understandable to feel bad for the guy, but that's the extent of it. Problems like that aren't yours to figure out and deal with.
|
|
